What's It Like
by Kitty-Kat Allie
Summary: Based on a tumblr OTP headcanon meme list of questions: What's it like dating Shin Seijuuro, Ojou Knight's Ace, aka "fucking robot"? That's exactly what Sena wants to know. If he can survive admitting his feelings and then actually having them reciprocated from a narrow-hyper-focused, emotionally-stunted sports star with a bad case of prosopagnosia. Eventual M & disgusting fluff
1. Firsts

A/N: Thank you to 0blue-bird0, for unknowingly tickling my creativity. She posted the OTP headcanons with answers for ShinSena and I thought... I wanna give it a try, but with CHAPTERS! *w*

Headcanons: How was their first meeting? Who kissed who first? Who made the first move?

 _Riku was getting further and further away. Just a little bit more,_ a little bit more _, and he'd catch up. Instead of feeling desperate, or like giving up, Sena felt a burst of anticipation, of adrenaline. His blood was surging, his heart was pumping, and he had a friend who was looking back and cheering him on. He was in charge of his body, of the direction and the speed—he was no one's gopher for this moment. He was learning to be_ strong _._

 _Another boy, serious and stern-faced but only a few centimeters taller, came jogging up. So focused on Riku-kun ahead of him, Sena almost didn't see him. But he_ felt _him. He could sense the narrowing of his running path, an unseen sudden obstacle to avoid. Shifting to the side on instinct so that, instead of shoulders bumping, their shoulders just brushed. Cloth on cloth. Dark eyes just missed meeting and- for a split second- a shiver of awareness ran down his spine._

 _But Riku was ahead, grinning, and Sena kept going without looking back. He didn't notice the obstacle-boy solemnly looking after his retreating back, frowning in thought._

Sena woke with a start, panting and fists gripping his sheets. In just a few short days, he'd be leaving for America. He'd be able to see Panther once more, play against him even, and become Eyeshield 21 in _every way_. Was it that excitement, bleeding even in to his subconscious, that had him dreaming of his greatest rival?

His brown eyes fell to his bedsheets and he had to actively loosen his tense muscles. Finger by finger, he released the twisted, slightly sweaty fabric and smoothed his trembling palms over the wrinkled surface.

Or maybe it was the unfinished business? The unspoken words he could never truly form inside the safety of his own mind, let alone out loud. Where they could be smashed, broken, and shattered.

"Rivals…" Sena whispered softly. Almost three years and still that was the closest he could come to defining his… relatio- _association_ with Ojou's ace player. Not friends, nor confidants really. Rivals, pushing each other to greater heights and achievements.

Sena fell back to his bed with a flop, arms crossed behind his head, dark eyes glued to the plan, white ceiling. With each passing year, each game and shared practice, with each new hurdle surpassed, _together_ , rivals didn't seem enough anymore. But… anything else…

It was just _scary_ …

Right?

Sena had grown a little taller, he'd grown braver, more confident, _busier_ , _so much busier,_ but he was still, down to his core, always, a little bit timid. And matters of introspection were terrifying. There were so many things that could go wrong. So many dangers and pitfalls for the feelings building up in his head, in his chest, in the pit of his stomach.

So many ways he could get hurt.

Bruises and fractures, fatigue and aches, bloody scrapes and noses—he could handle that pain these days. His opponents would always be bigger and stronger and sturdier and the ground would always be the ground when tackled to it. But his heart? He'd never really put it out there to be trampled like his body.

 _Scenario #1: "You're giving me this?" Shin takes the pitifully pounding heart Sena is handing him. Within seconds it's torn apart and Shin is staring at it like it's the pieces of a camera. "I think there's something wrong with it."_

"Yeah, I could definitely see that happening," Sena muttered under his breath wryly. Then a worse scene popped into his head.

 _Scenario #2: "Why would I want that? It's useless and weak." With blank-faced callousness, Shin crushes the pitiful, ridiculous offering in his fist. "When you leave for America, don't bother coming back."_

His teeth clenched and his eyes shook, tight at the corners and pupils dilated.

 _Scenario #3: "Kekekekeke, another thing for the book…"_

Sena flailed his arms in the air, face red and brown eyes panicked, dispelling the image of Himura's evil grin and his Threat Book. Sena sat up quickly, slapped his hands to both cheeks like Monta, and exhaled harshly. Hiruma was all the way at Saikyoudai (across town…) and he hadn't seen the evil Commander of Hell for a several months now. If he were going to do something before he left for USA, Sena would definitely have to do it before the good-bye party all his amefuto friends were throwing him in just two more days. His blanket and sheet went finally into the air, and he was speeding through his morning routine.

Today. It would have to be today.

He was out the door just as his father's first alarm rang.

As usual, he had his set running route firmly in mind. His breath clouded the air in front of his mouth, warming his chapped and chilly mouth. It had snowed just the night before, so fresh snow lay in glittering pristine heaps all around him and crunched under his well-worn-in sneakers. Just like his dream, his blood was already pumping and his heart beating as his inward glee skyrocketed. Nothing was better than running. Whether it was wending his way past hulking footballers, pushing his still rather tiny boy to its limits, or just like this—on an open stretch of unobstructed road, nothing made him freer, or more powerful, than the feeling of his feet pounding on the ground and sweat beading his skin. He kept his pace easy and steady, his explosive dash barely restrained.

Up ahead, like clockwork, a figure was running just as swiftly and steadily down the perpendicular block. They'd meet where their roads converged, at precisely the same moment, feet striking in pace. The smile was already curving his lips by the time the much taller, blue-clad, hoodie-wearing nineteen-year-old met his eyes. The brief moment of silent acknowledgement, a firm nod on one side and a correspondingly-widening smile on the other, and the two fastest runners in Japan were side by side.

 _I'll miss this_ , Sena thought wistfully, as he'd thought every morning since he'd gotten the email from Clifford-san and decided to accept. He could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks, eyes sliding to the side to glance at Shin's profile.

Cut as if from stone, thin blade of a nose, sharply drawn eyebrows, a down-turned curve of a mouth—Suzuna had once joked that Shin's 'resting bitch face' was also number 1 in Japan. Sena couldn't see that. Instead, he just saw the determination to succeed in the darkness of Shin's black eyes, the solid strength he'd come to depend on in every line of his sharp features. And instead of a frown, Sena couldn't help but remember those few and far between moments when Shin's mouth would soften into something impressed and almost excited—a smile he shared with Sena and very few others. That more than anything was Sena's proof that he was still the ace, still worthy of being called Eyeshield 21. That almost-smile at the end of a game, no matter who won or lost, and the brief, resounding clap of their palms together.

Two and a half years and that's the closest Sena had ever come to holding Shin's hand- _or anyone's_ hand, to be fair.

Also as usual, their fast-paced jogging slowed at a small park a good four miles away from where they'd met up. In spring and summer, they stopped at an embankment near the river, enjoying the breeze coming off the water and the lack of what few children or people might be out in a park during those warmer seasons. At barely 5:30 am just a few days after Christmas? Yeah, the park was emptier than a graveyard, but with much better atmosphere. Plus, there was a bunch of equipment they could use to stretch—and Shin could use for a lot of unnecessarily-gravity-defying exercises. Sena huffed a laugh the moment Shin grabbed ahold of the monkey bars and began doing one-armed lifts.

"Hey, Shin-san, could we take a breather for a minute? Before heading back?" Sena asked without thinking. He immediately froze, eyes widening and spine ramrod-straight even as his knees began to quake. Luckily, Shin was still doing reps as he grunted an affirmative-sounding grunt.

Sena carefully went through his usual stretches to accommodate for the extra trembling in his limbs. Usually he was barely warmed up by the _end_ of his morning run, but today shaking like his first-year inexperienced self. _Get yourself together, Sena!_

The exercises and stretches came to an end, as they always did, but Sena was no closer to feeling brave enough to blurt out the rest. The two of them sat in their usual spot, a merry-go-round, the metal of which was so cold it burned even through Sena's rather thick winter track suit. Shin gulped down his specially-bought sports drink, none of that fake overly-sugared crap, before handing it over to Sena. Like he always did. No big deal. Not like it was an _indirect kiss_ or something, right? Sena fumbled the bottle a moment, liquid splashing over his gloves and pants before he managed to get a good grip.

Another thousandth or so indirect kiss down, and Sena was wiping his mouth with the back of his glove and gasping aloud. He had no idea how dry his throat and mouth had become until that first (figuratively)sweet sip. When he handed the bottle back, Shin's hand wrapped around his, holding him in place. Sena glanced up in shock.

"Something's wrong," Shina stated matter-of-factually. His gaze traveled over Sena's tense shoulders and shaking hands.

Sena eeped and paled considerably. "N-not _wrong_ ," the smaller boy hedged weakly. His eyes were already darting away, over snowy slides and swings and water fountains, at anything but the much taller, suddenly too observant boy next to him. Well, man now. Shin was officially a college student, and recently turned nineteen that past July. Sena felt brittle and tiny when the thought crossed his mind. He'd forgotten already, since he hadn't been allowed to play in the fall tournament with Deimon's Devil Bats. They'd completely decimated the spring tournament without Shin there to slow them down- er, without _Ojou's_ best players on the field- most of them having gone to uni that spring. Shin had never changed his morning routine, and still met up with Sena for extra practice on weekends whenever they weren't studying—not that Sena was particularly good at studying… There had been no explanation, no discussion, just Shin always there. Dependable, reliable, constant Shin.

"Sena," Shin interrupted Sena's scattering thoughts in a firm voice. "Is it about America?"

"A-America?" Sena repeated dumbly.

"English will be hard, your studies are not exactly your strong-point," Shin continued. Sena felt the critique like an arrow through the heart, even though he wasn't _wrong_. "But you're going to represent Japan in _amefuto_. You will be respected for your running and your abilities on the field. There should be no anxiety in the face of that."

Sena felt the tension leaving him, and the slight pain at the almost-insult. Shin was always so bluntly honest about Sena's abilities, about his pride in Sena's accomplishments and strengths, just as much as his weaknesses. His respect and thirst for Shin's approval was never left wanting for long. Probably why it had taken Sena so long to distinguish _feelings_ from pride in his role model's notice.

"Thanks, Shin-san. I know that. The studying is g-going t-to be very hard, and the amefuto p-players bigger and s-stronger than m-most opponents I m-met here," Sena chattered, fists knotting tightly on his thighs, pupils dilating and shaking. "But…" he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. "But I can do it. I'll beat them and get stronger and faster," he stated fiercely, eyes glowing as excitement filled him. He broke off with a laugh, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I won't get much smarter, though."

"No," Shin agreed simply. Sena felt himself sweatdrop ruefully. "You will be stronger when you get back. We'll finally meet again on the field, then."

Sena glanced up finally, smiling easily when Shin's dark, intense gaze pierced his. The intensity sometimes still made him quake… but not in the way it used to.

"Is that want you needed? Reassurance?" Shin asked, his brows coming down into a scowl that clearly spoke of disappointment in Sena's insecurities.

"N-no! No, that's not it! It was nice, I r-really appreciated it, but no! I'm ready to go to America!" Sena hurriedly corrected, flustered and gesticulating wildly. Shin's broad hand fell over Sena's shoulder.

"It's cold, and our heart rate has already dropped to a normal resting rate. Whatever it is you want to say, say it, Sena." The smaller of the two gulped at the firm, but not unkind demand.

"I-I-" Sena stammered, mouth working uselessly to produce any other sounds. He got to his feet, the curl of displeasure in his belly when the warmth of Shin's hand fell away ruthlessly ignored. He broadened his stance, feet shoulder-width apart, and convulsively squeezed his fists even tighter at his sides. "I-I'll miss you! Wh-When I g-go. There's n-no one like you in America. There's Panther-kun, and I know he'll be a constant challenge, and I can't wait. B-But no one… no one is Shin-san. N-No one… no one makes me stronger and faster like Shin-san does," Sena finally blurted, words tumbling over themselves, useless babbling and self-correcting, all to drop off into a self-conscious whisper. His eyes darted up, peeking to the fringe of his bangs, to see Shin's… _startled_ face.

It was a small difference- the widening of his normally narrowed gaze, the slight flare of his nostrils, the parting of his firm mouth- but it was there. Whether at the outburst, or the words, Sena couldn't tell. His knees wanted to collapse, and his heart constricted too tautly to beat, but he stood firm and waited.

"I feel the same," Shin said after a long moment.

Sena's neck almost cracked he looked up so quickly, a wide, astonished grin on his face. That quivered at the corners seeing the perplexed frown on Shin's face.

"Sena is the best player in Japan. You have no equal in here, and when you're gone, there will be no one else who can challenge me as well as you," Shin continued slowly, but surely. "But I don't think I understand why you had to speak this out loud. It's obvious."

Tense shoulders drooped and fists released. From apprehensive, _excited_ fear to defeat in a moment. Sena thumbed at his nose, his self-deprecating chuckle weak and shaky. "Yeah, that's… that's obvious. I just… I just wanted to say it." _But you didn't_ understand _anyway. Scenario #1 it is then._

"Sena?"

"It's all good We should probably head back. I'm already making you take longer- I'm- _your_ training schedule is all messed up now. And for nothing, right? I just said something stupid," Sena continued to laugh, eyes too wide and lips still trembling. He couldn't seem to see Shin, he was a rapidly growing blur in his peripheral vision, but Sena couldn't see him rising or approaching. He was looking everywhere else.

"Sena, something is not right…"

"Yeah, I mean no, I mean, yeah, it's right- all right, I mean. My mom's gonna be waiting for me for breakfast soon. I'm sure your parents are, too, we should go," Sena prattled on, desperate. Because his nose was feeling hot and stuffy and his eyes scratchy.

 _What is it Monta-kun says? A man only cries if it's painful. This isn't painful. This is_ obvious _._

He jumped in shock as heavy hands settled on his shoulders. The quick movement of his eyes upwards, the startled blink, had something damp gathering at the corners of his eyes.

"Kobayakawa," Shin interjected firmly. "What are you not saying?"

"I-I _l-like_ you," Sena blurted, still laughing awkwardly. Hands squeezed too tight on his shoulders for a moment, but Sena still couldn't look at Shin's face. "I'm so stupid, right? It never even- you never even _thought_ like that. I knew that, but I thought- it's so stupid. G-good thing I'm going to America, right?" The laugh was high-pitched and breathy and _ridiculous_.

Those hands finally lifted and Sena's legs tensed, muscles ready, aching to run. But then something cold and rough was placed over his mouth. A finger. A bare, winter-chapped, amefuto-callused index finger placed over his mouth to cut off his senseless jabbering and panicked laughter. His breath caught and he looked up. Shin was scowling, confusion _so clear_ in his expression. It looked so much like the expression he gave anything electronic placed in his hands that Sena wanted to laugh out loud again. But he was too busy swallowing down something thick and heavy in his throat.

"I like you, too, but I do not believe you mean it in the way I am accustomed to understanding it," Shin mused. He pulled his hand away.

 _He's so tall_ , Sena thought stupidly, his neck aching as he looked up the near 30 centimeters between them.

"N-No, I don't. I mean. I mean…" Sena rubbed the back of his wrist over his face. "I mean, I wanna hold your hand. I wanna see you without practice, or a game, or a _football_. I wanna be with you for no other reason than to be _with_ you. You're more than my rival, Shin-san. You've _been_ more than that for a while. I know I'm a boy, and I'm small and timid and you've never been interested in someone in that way, anyway. But I do. I _do_ feel that way." Sena gritted his teeth, eyes on their feet. Shin hadn't left, hadn't scoffed in disdain or… or _worse_. But how could anything be worse? His heart still felt trampled.

With a surge of desperation, he pulled his lips into a lopsided grin and looked up. "It's okay, though. I'll be gone in two days, and when I come back we can pretend like I never said anything."

"What do you want?" Shin inquired, his frown smoothed into something unreadable. Sena squeaked and stepped back.

"Wh-what?"

"When you decided to tell me, what did you _want_?" Shin clarified patiently. Sena felt cold sweat drip down his spine when Shin stepped forward in the small gap Sena's retreat had made. Sena stepped another foot back.

"I-I w-wasn't- I d-d-don't know wh-what y-you m-mean," Sena stuttered wildly. A small surprised 'guh' escaped his mouth when Shin _advanced_ , looming into the space until they were even closer than they were before. Their chests almost bumped- well, Sena's chest and to Shin's belly/lower chest area.

"When you thought about saying this, what was your best case scenario?" Shin pressed relentlessly. One hand wrapped around Sena's bicep to keep him from moving. Sena's muscles had developed enough that, _finally_ , Shin's hand couldn't wrap entirely around his arm. But, _damn_ , did it seem like it.

"I-I-"

 _Scenario #4: "What is this?" Shin asked, staring down at the soppily, cartoonish heart in his hands._

 _"Everything."_

 _"I'll keep it safe," Shin promised, somehow right in Sena's space_ \- like he was now- _and wrapping an arm around Sena's waist. Somehow that stupid dream-symbol heart was gone, and Sena's hand was instead pressed to Shin's chest. "Have mine, too."_ _And like a sappy shojo manga, Shin's lips fell over his. There were flowers and bubbles and cupids and crap like that, too. Cuz why not. Sena was too happy to care._

Sena's eyes darted to Shin's mouth and gave it away. He realized it a moment later, face paling and teeth bared in a wide grimace.

" _N-nothing_!" Sena wheezed, his eyes safely gazing over Shin's shoulder once more.

There was a brief moment where he was _sure_ Shin must be giving it up for a lost cause. Too confused, unsure what was supposed to happen next or what anything Sena had said meant. … the grip on his arm never slackened…

"You're being evasive," Shin grunted, some level of irritation in his tone.

Sena chuckled weakly, eyes closing and hand scratching the back of his head. "R-really? I d-d-didn't-"

The same moment a second hand joined his behind his head, breath fanned over his mouth. Even as he stuttered, lips fell over his and cut him off entirely. It was awkward, mouths cold, too dry and chapped, angled too straight forward, with noses somehow in the way. Sena had neither the experience, nor the awareness to help fix it. He blinked stupidly when Shin pulled away. His frown was pensive, calculating, and Sena merely boggled, frozen.

Then, Shin dipped his head down again, head angled better and lips a soft brush then a firm pressure on Sena's. The younger teen was up on his toes, fingers twisting into the thick hoodie and eyes squeezed shut, before he even noticed his own movement. Shin's mouth didn't seem so chapped or dry now, not with the breaths between them dampening their skin, not with the way Sena couldn't help but lick the tip of his tongue over Shin's bottom lip. The wet heat startled them both, but they didn't stop. Maybe _couldn't_ on Sena's end, anyway. He had no idea what was going through Shin's. He didn't know if the older teen's head was spinning, if his heart was pounding with the same adrenaline rush a touchdown created, if he was dizzy or craving someway to press closer. To sink into Sena's heat and kiss the same way Sena wanted to sink into _his_. The kiss was clumsy and bumbling, lips slipping too fast, parting too wide, pressing too hard, teeth clipping, but it was perfect. Pressure hesitantly soft one moment, desperately hard the next, lips catching between lips that clung together as if their skin was just as frantic not to let go. Shin's hands on his arm and bare neck were points of heat that had him shuddering.

It ended too soon, but too late at once. Sena was dizzy with oxygen loss, chest heaving in great gulps of frigid December air, by the time Shin's mouth pulled completely away and he fell back onto his heels. He could feel how warm his face was, how completely red his cheeks must be, and his eyes couldn't seem to open all the way.

But he saw Shin clearly this time. Everything else was a white haze, except for Shin's equally flushed cheeks and gasping breaths. Sena felt dizzy all over again, just from seeing _that_ slack, amazed expression on stoic, "robot" Shin's face.

"Sh-Shin-san," Sena murmured. He promptly broke off, too dazed to have any other words.

"s-Seijuuro," the now-raspy-voiced linebacker corrected with a barely perceptible stutter. Sena blinked, dumb and puzzled.

"Wha-?"

"Call me Seijuuro," Shin told him, voice firmer but still octaves lower and hoarser than usual. It sent another chill down Sena's spine, but a chill unlike he'd ever felt before. He blushed brightly as understanding dawned.

"B-but I-I c-couldn't-"

Shin leaned down, pressing their foreheads together. Sena's jaw clicked shut, but he relished to heat of Shin's shin, the tickle of their short bangs.

"When you are gone, I will study. I will research what it means and what to call this," Shin declared, calmly and without shame. Sena's scoffed, mouth breaking into a wide grin. "When you get back, I will know. I will _understand_. I promise."

"Why?" Sena blurted, immediately looking horrified. He slapped a hand over his mouth. He pulled a hair's breadth away, but Shin only reeled him back in, arm around Sena's waist this time.

"I want to," Shin answered simply. Sena met his gaze, the incremental distance making his heart thud painfully. He could see every line of Shin's face, the exact shade of brown of his irises, the short, black lashes that fringed his eyes. "I want to know what I feel, and say it honestly, the way you have. I want to do this again," Sena's cheeks flamed. "I want _you_ and I didn't realize _how_ until right now."

"Shin-san," Sena whispered. He shook his head minutely. " _S-Seijuuro-kun_ , when I get back, I want to hear it. How you feel."

"Good."

Two broad, rough hands cupped his jaw and tilted his head back. Sena couldn't help but laugh, a _real_ joyous laugh, before Shin- _Seijuuro_ \- kissed him again.


	2. Relationships

**Headcanons: What's the relationship like? What are the dates like?**

...

Four months in America had been some of the most exciting four months of his life. He hadn't wanted to leave, there was still another month of the semester left, but college in Japan started in the spring, unlike America where it started in the fall. At the same time, America was _really_ confusing, and the students were loud, brash, and had so few inhibitions compared to most Japanese. (Though, not necessarily those of Sena's acquaintance…) He was eager to be home, to start college, to utilize the new skills that the four months playing with _real_ _American_ amefuto players taught him. Sena was excited to see his friends- Riku-kun, Monta-kun, Suzuna, Mamori-neechan, Kurita-san… even Hiruma-san… a little… sometimes. Not for very long.

But also, he couldn't help but be terrifyingly excited to talk to Shin-san again. _Seijuuro_.

His cheeks flushed even more than running usually caused and an extra burst of speed had him and his bag hurtling over a few crates sitting in front of a fruit stand. Enma's front gate loomed ahead and he let himself slow down at last. It took the work of a moment to find Kurita-san's large form and Riku-kun's bright ivory hair. Of course, they were on the amefuto field. He was so focused on them, he didn't even notice the crowds of people on the other side or take in just why they were wearing their uniforms.

"H-hey, guys. Sorry," he greeted, bent over at the knees and panting heavily. The eyeshield in his hand pressed sharply into his palm and fingers but he didn't regret the extra time it took to go back for it.

Until Kurita-san handed over his new uniform and told him they were having a game.

 _Why does this always happen to me_? Sena mused, half-despairing, half-amused as he buckled on his helmet and let his eyes really look at the other team and the crowd slowly gathering on the bleachers. Mamori-neechan was waving happily from atop… what the hell was that?! And Hiruma-san was lounging back in the front seat of the truck, feet on the steering wheel, bubble blowing past his wicked and familiar smirk. He could see Musashi-san and all of the (somewhat dangerous-looking) Takekura team, the definitely spine-tingling fearsome Saikyoudai team, even Yuki-san and Takami-san of Shuuei Medical college. And of course, the large mass of silver and blue that made up the Ojou Silver Knights.

His heart beat faster, and maybe he ran faster, dodged quicker, tackled harder, knowing Shin was sitting among them. They decimated the Cupids or whatever the college team was named, an easy 110-0. Roars were louder than even the Cupids' wails, mostly because so much of the audience came just to see Enma play, despite being other schools. The first to coming running towards him, arms wide and grins wider, when the bows ended, were of course his team mates. He was laughing and blushing under their hugs and high-fives, and in Suzuna's case, a resounding kiss to the cheek that had him spluttering. Despite the _almost_ something they'd had when he'd first met her, it had always been an _almost_ that had ended a quick death when he realized his feelings for a certain Ojou Knight his second-year of high school. She was also dating _Monta-kun_ of all people. So the kiss didn't mean anything other than Suzuna being Suzuna who loved making him blush and stutter like a first-year again.

Then, Mamori-neechan finally appeared, blue eyes glassy with happy, proud tears and an embrace that had the air squeezing out of him.

"You're finally back, Sena-kun! I've missed you so much. We have to meet up and talk about America and Notre Dame over cream puffs really soon!" she enthused, also kissing his cheek in welcome. He hugged her back just as fiercely even as he sweatdropped over the cream puffs offer.

"Yeah, of course. I missed you, too. I think the only reason I passed my entrance exams _and_ my high school exams while _in America_ was thanks to you and your emails and Skyping. You really saved me," Sena admitted with a laugh. She flapped her hand negligently.

" **It was nothing. My pleasure** ," she answered in flawless English, eyes twinkling.

" **N-Not n-nothing. M-my English until you so bad!** " he stammered. She burst into giggles. Sena squawked in surprise as a foot kicked his butt squarely and knocked him into Kurita's large, cushion-y tummy.

" **Your English still fucking stinks, fucking shrimp** _ **,**_ " Hiruma cackled. "It's great to have a real fucking challenge on the field again. All the halfway decent players are finally on the board again."

"Th-thanks?" Sena replied, twitchy and sweaty.

"Was that a slight against Ojou?" interrupted a deeper-than-remembered voice.

Unlike most of his friends who had sent him emails or Skyped him pretty regularly, the last four months had been almost completely Shin free. Sakuraba's emails had updates or small PS notes from Shin, but they weren't at the level of friendship that Skyping was really comfortable for them, and the emails had been few and far between as well. And Shin... Well, Shin still broke anything electronic he came in contact with, and apparently drove his professors mad with it.

That stern brown gaze met Sena's wide-eyed one and every knotted up, tense muscle in Sena's body relaxed seeing that look of approval resting in the softened curve of Shin's mouth.

"Did I stutter, fucking robot," Hiruma retorted dryly, gum bubble snapping. He rolled his eyes as Mamori turned on him to hiss admonishments.

Shin kept his gaze on the smaller, newly-arrived Enma student. "Welcome back, Sena."

Sena stood up straight, even as his knees quivered. "It's good to be back, S-S-Seijuuro," he managed to blurt.

Even Mamori turned to raise her eyebrows at Sena's dropping of the honorific and use of his first name. She wasn't even sure Shin's _teammates_ called him by his given name. Sena, meanwhile, was currently finding it very hard to breathe. He had no idea what Shin was going to say. They'd made a pact that when Sena returned Shin would have a _real_ answer for him. And as well as their private last meeting had gone (Sena blushed from head to foot thinking about it) there had been four months for Shin to change his mind, to decide eh, kissing was nice and all, but not with _Sena_.

Of course, the moment of insecurity passed too easily. The moment Sena had stuttered out the name, honorific missing, Shin's almost smile became a _real_ one- tiny though it was- and his arms dropped from where they'd been crossed over his chest.

"You're still waiting?" Shin asked. The crowd around them frowned, though Suzuna was perked up, antenna twitching in their direction as her smile turned gleeful. Sena quaked at the attention.

"Y-Yeah, wh-whenever y-you're ready. Not that it has to b-be now!" Sena rushed to excuse, eyes darting around the group. Hiruma's fangy and devious smirk had Sena paling.

Shin never looked away from Sena's face, though. A broad hand fell on Sena's shoulder, bringing his attention darting back, as well as the blood rushing back to his head so fast he felt a little dizzy. "I like you, too. The same way." It was so simply said, with the meaning heavy between them.

There was a drop in noise around them, whether real or imaginary, but it was just the two of them in the world as Sena gaped up at Shin. _Just like a shoujo manga_ , Sena thought dumbly as his slack-jawed expression became a grin.

Until he slapped so hard on the back, by about ten different hands, that he careened face first into Shin's chest. Both he and Shin grunted at the impact, but before Sena could really appreciate it- because _he really did_ ; Shin was a warm, solid wall of muscle that was really nice to be face-first in without a helmet on- he was yanked back. Suzuna had an arm wrapped around his throat, cutting off air, and both Monta and Riku were rubbing their knuckles into the top of his head painfully.

"Told you it'd be all right," Riku was laughing.

"Now you can stop sending me long emails about it, right?" Monta added. Sena sputtered indignantly.

"This is so cute! Wait till everyone finds out!" Suzuna cheered.

"I think everyone has," Musashi spoke up dryly from Mamori and Hiruma's side. Mamori laughed as Hiruma rolled his eyes. "Good game, Enma. You'll be seeing Takekura on the field in a couple weeks. Be ready for a better fight than today's."

"Right!" The Enma team chorused- Sena with a great deal of relief.

"I think it's time we all go out and celebrate! Both the amazing win and Sena's return. I hear there's an all you can eat at that meat place," Mamori suggested, hands clapping together. Even louder cheers met her words and finally the attention was totally off of Sena and Shin.

While most of the other players went back home, all of Enma and the original Deimon crew stayed gathered in a much bigger group of people than Sena would ever had imagined three years ago. Stuck in the middle, as one of the main attractions of the day, Sena got swept away too soon from Shin. He glanced back, anxious, only to smile in relief to see Shin walking along with the crowd, just a few feet behind. He was talking Musashi and Juumonji- well, as much talking as those three did.

Beside him, Mamori leaned down, her long hair brushing the side of his face. "It's all right. He'll be waiting for you, this time," she whispered with a wink at his blushing face.

Shin really did wait until the very end, just to walk Sena to his parents' home for his first night back in Japan.

Months later, Sena slumped into his dorm room. He was sharing with Riku-kun after a very intense online back-and-forth for months that was finally settled with a game of rock-paper-scissors between Monta and Riku. Monta managed to snag a room with Kurita, whose roommate had switched with the new year, barely squeaking out of sharing with Taki, who was sharing with Mizumachi instead. Sena would've been happy with either, but in moments like this, he was glad it was Riku. Solid, dependable, confident Riku. He never would've been able to have this upcoming conversation with Monta—at least not with the same kind of results.

"Riku-kun?" Sena started hesitantly. He was sweaty from his morning run, breath slightly labored, but desperate to get the words out before he lost courage. Riku looked up from his own morning routine that always ended in some jaw-dropping yoga. He hadn't realized how flexible Riku was until he walked in one some truly inconceivable poses held for an even more mind-boggling long time. Riku finished his count down and got to his feet with a simple stretch.

"What's up, little brother?"

"I'm not your brother," Sena replied on a sigh. "It's… have you ever dated?"

Riku blinked in surprise just before understanding dawned.

"This is about you and Shin, isn't it?" Riku stated simply. He pushed sweaty hair off his forehead and slumped into his desk chair. "Okay, shoot. What's the problem with robot-san?"

"He's not a robot," Sena sighed again. That nickname really needed to retire soon. "You didn't answer my question. I really wanted you to answer it."

"If I've dated?" Riku asked, eyebrows jumping high. "Once or twice, when girls asked and I didn't have a reason to say no. But never more than a more than a first date. Monta is _actually_ dating Suzuna. He might be better-"

"No, I don't… I don't think so," Sena interrupted. "Whenever Monta messes up on a date, Suzuna usually finds a way to fix it. I've read her 100 or so emails of _very detailed_ stories about their dates. Monta's a good boyfriend, but a terrible dater."

"I don't know how good I am. I've never gone on a second date with anyone."

"But the first dates, were they at least… _bearable_?" Sena winced as he said it.

A long silence followed.

"You're going to have to tell me what happened, Sena," Riku finally managed to choke out. Sena peeked up and saw how red-faced Riku had become, his mouth and whole body twitching.

"Go ahead and laugh," Sena sighed a third time in despair. Riku snorted and pressed his fist to his mouth.

"S-Sorry. It's just… the images. They're too funny. I'm sure it's not as bad as I'm thinking."

"We go out running together almost every morning, we go to each other's games and walk each other to the subway, one time… he held my hand. It was nice, but I thought, you know, we should do a real date. So I asked him to eat with me after an Ojou practice I went to a couple weekends ago," Sena explained wearily.

Riku nodded. "Yeah, right after our Zokugaku game, when we had the day off." Sena nodded despondently.

"We went to a cheap burger place. I ate them a lot in America, you know, and I kinda miss 'em, so I thought, why not? Everyone likes burgers, right?" Sena hung his head, shoulders slumping as Riku barely swallowed down another laugh.

"Everyone but Mr. Eats-Perfectly-Portioned-and-Balanced-Meals-At-Perfectly-Calculated-Times and probably hasn't had a WacDonald's meal since grade school," Riku concluded humorously.

"I figured, right after practice, at dinner time, it'd be fine. Surely he'd gone with his teammates before!" Sena all but wailed, burying his face in his hands.

"Wh-What happened?" Riku asked haltingly, concerned and trying _so hard_ not to laugh.

"He _stared at me the whole time_." Riku snorted and looked away, fist to his mouth again. "He drank a water and just stared at me. I was so nervous, because I knew it was a date, but then I realized _he didn't know_ , so I got all tongue-tied and nervous and I could barely even eat, so then he started talking about nutrition and eating habits and _was I feeling sick_ because I didn't seem to have an appetite," Sena babbled on, eyes wide in remembered horror. "I ended up letting him buy me medicine and had to argue with him to stay at Ojou and get his own dinner instead of bringing me all the way back. He had to eat his dinner _two hours later than scheduled_ because of _me_!"

Riku reached over to gingerly pat Sena's back. "I'm sure he didn't mind," he assured him, voice tight to hide the mirth building up in his throat.

" _He didn't_. But I was mortified!"

"You haven't tried to ask him out since, have you?" Riku realized, the hilarity finally dying down when he realized what Sena hadn't quite said yet. "It's been over a month."

" _I know_. Today, Seijuuro just outta nowhere says, 'it's been three months since you've been back' and just kept on jogging, as if he didn't just tell me he _remembered our three-month anniversary_ and I didn't! I didn't even know he was keeping track!" Sena cried in dismay.

"I doubt Shin thinks of it as an anniversary? More like… just… a fact?" Riku tried to cajole with a sympathetic wince.

"You're probably right, but only because the only person worse at dating than _me_ is _Seijuuro_. I have no idea what to do. Please, _please_ , help me," Sena begged, actually _tearfully._ Riku's tan skin paled slightly.

"You want me to help you date _Shin, Seijuuro_?" Riku reiterated, nonplussed. Sena just stared at him, pleading and glassy-eyed. Riku caved within moments, sighing. "Fine. Well, obviously going out to eat is a no-go." Sena shook his head desperately. "A movie?"

Sena frowned thoughtfully. "I don't actually know if Seijuuro watches movies…"

"An arcade?"

This time, Sena barely managed to contain his laughter. "He breaks anything electronic he touches."

"Right." Riku rubbed his thumb to the side of his nose. "You could do the classic amusement park idea? You don't have to eat, or stay very long. Just spend an hour or two trying out rides?"

Sena blinked rapidly in surprise. "That might work."

"You're going to have to start out with _this is a date, Seijuu-kun_ ," Riku teased, voice going high and breathless and eyes wide and starry. Sena frowned as angrily as he could while blushing brightly.

"I do not call him _Seijuu-kun_!"

Riku burst into laughter, head tilted back and hands on his stomach. "Right, right. I gotta shower before class. You do, too. Text him and ask. I bet it'll be easier, and faster, than saying it to his face." He got up and grabbed his shower caddy, still laughing as he left. Sena watched him go, pouting in embarrassment, but knowing Riku was probably right on both the shower _and_ the texting.

Well, calling. Since Shin didn't own his own phone. Still red-faced, he scrolled through his phone contacts to find the right number.

" _Hey, this is Sakuraba! Sena-san, how are you doing?"_ the tall receiver greeted warmly and cheerfully.

"G-Good. Did Shin-san make it back yet?" Sena asked hesitantly. He flinched and fidgeted at Sakuraba's laugh.

" _I thought you were calling him Seijuuro now? Yeah, he just got back, like, this second. I'll put it on speaker and leave the room._ ** _Don't you touch my phone, Shin!_** "

Sena groaned and slapped a palm to his face. There was a few moments of unintelligible sounds, probably Sakuraba setting the phone down and making Shin sit next to it before leaving the room. _Finally_ , Shin cleared his throat.

" _He just left. Did you forget to tell me something this morning?_ " Shin asked, confusion evident even with the muffled quality of his voice. He probably was sitting ramrod straight in a chair, staring _intensely_ at the phone, without actually bending near it or raising his voice. Sena had in fact seen this very situation himself a week or two ago when his parents called while Sena was visiting his and Sakuraba's dorm.

"No, not really. But there's been something I've wanted to ask. For weeks actually," Sena confessed. He could _feel_ the intensity increasing through the phone and grimaced.

" _You can ask me anything, Sena. You should not be embarrassed with me_."

Sena couldn't help but smile fondly, eyes on the wall where Riku and he had put up a corkboard covered in pictures and study schedules (that Riku had planned out meticulously). His toe scuffed the dingy tile of his floor before he took a deep breath.

"I know. I just… it's hard for me because… it's new for me, too. You and me, I mean."

" _That we're dating_."

"Yeah," he exhaled softly. "Only, I think we're kinda terrible at it."

"…"

"At _dating_. We don't really _go on dates_ , Seijuuro," Sena clarified quickly.

" _I thought that's what that burger dinner was._ "

Sena turned slightly blue as he side-eyed his phone. _He knew it was a date the whole time?!_

"Right, but that was only one time," Sena barely saved. "I was wondering… do you like amusement parks?"

"… _I have no particular opinion, positive or negative, on amusement parks._ "

Sena almost felt like crying at how difficult this was. "Would you like to go to an amusement park with me?"

" _I would like to go with_ you _. The location doesn't necessarily matter._ "

And then it got so _easy_ again.

"Th-that's a really nice thing to say," Sena murmured.

" _It's a fact. I will discuss this dating predicament with Sakuraba as well. He will be able to help me come up with other ideas for a later time._ " Sena laughed in relief, falling onto his bed and rubbing his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, I had to ask Riku-kun for help. I was worried I was messing everything up."

 _"… am I messing everything up?_ " Shin asked slowly and quietly on the other line. Sena's eyes widened in shock. It almost sounded like Shin was... _unsure_ of himself.

" _No!_ Of course not! I just overthink everything and make an idiot of myself, really. You're… you're a great boyfriend. I r-really… I r-really l-like you," he stammered, voice dropping as his eyes darted to the door.

" _You're not an idiot, Sena. Perhaps you do tend to overthink yourself into a panic,_ " Sena sweatdropped, " _but you always manage to figure it out. You're better at… seeing that something is wrong and finding out how to fix it. You… you are better at these matters than I am. I never would have thought to change any aspect of our current relationship if you hadn't pointed out something was missing. Next time tell me so we can discuss it together._ "

His chest suddenly felt too tight and achy, and Sena pressed the heel of his palm to his painfully shuddering heart. "Okay. We'll meet up on Sunday? After our morning practices? I'll text Sakuraba the details later today."

" _Should I get a phone?_ "

"… maybe a very cheap one."

Just barely, Sena could make out the low huffing sound of… a _laugh_?

" _Our next date, you can show me how to use one_."

Giddiness had Sena getting back to his feet to rock back and forth uselessly. He suddenly had the urge to start running again, an excess of restless energy surging through his legs.

"Yeah, sure. Maybe I'll find you one of those plastic ones they have for kids to practice with? N-Not that I th-think you're st-stupid or a little k-kid!"

That really _was_ an almost-chuckle and Sena almost fell over again hearing it.

" _It's a good idea. Phones are even more complicated these days. I can't see any buttons…_ "

Sena burst out laughing at that.

" _You should get ready for class now, Sena. I have to, as well._ "

"Right, I still have to shower. Thank Sakuraba-san for me, will you?"

" _I will. Sena… are you happy?_ "

The smile that spread over Sena's face was sure and fond. He wished he _had_ waited to ask Shin in person, so he could touch Shin's hand, or maybe even _kiss_ him. He still hadn't scrounged up the nerve to initiate a kiss himself. Not yet. But... "Yeah, I'm really happy," he said aloud.

Shin's soft, affirmative grunt signaled the end of their conversation. With a quick reminder not to touch Sakuraba's phone, Sena said good bye and ended the call. And like an idiot, he stood in the center of the room, body trembling with too much energy, phone pressed to his forehead. He'd lied just a little.

Because really, Sena wasn't just happy. He'd never been happier. He was a sappy mess.

Riku walked in, wearing a pair of boxers and flipflops while rubbing his mess of wet hair with his towel. He stared at Sena- who stared back with a deer-in-headlights expression on his face- and scoffed.

"Went well?"

"Maybe," Sena mumbled. He threw his phone to his bed, then grabbed his shower things and dashed out the door at the speed of light as Riku outright guffawed.

...

A/N: College BEGINS in April in Japan, like first semester of a year. And in the first installment of this series, I said he left just a couple days after Christmas. Which means, he should've been in America only 3 months? But let's say, cuz this is friggin Eyeshield 21 where very little is based in much fact (Hiruma's MULTITUDE of guns, anybody?) that Enma starts at the END of April instead of the beginning, so about exactly four months abroad. I had actually originally wanted him to leave right after summer vacation, but the manga said he was only in America for HALF of his third year, which in USA, the second semester starts after Christmas break. I shoulda stuck with him leaving in summer anyway. *le sigh* Anyway. I'm leaving this installment open ended for more chapters that answer these headcanons or others like it. Such as, the very next chapter which will deal with an amusement park date. (Stay tuned if you wanna see Shin EAT FOOD?!)


	3. Dates

**What are the dates like?** **What was their most romantic date? Who usually cooks? Who remembers the important stuff? What movies do they enjoy watching most? Do they enjoy going camping together? Thoughts on PDA(Public Displays of Affection)? How does [Shin] spend if time when [Sena] isn't there?**

1.

It was one of those perfect early summer days: sunny but not too hot, breezy but not too windy, and a great afternoon filled with the company of one of his favorite people. Which of course made Sena even _more_ nervous because he was about to have an _actual date_ , the first one he's ever been on, with the first boyfriend (significant other, _period_ ) he'd ever had, and it was a _friggin' amusement park_. How did he think this was a good idea? He wasn't the pink-haired girl in a manga! Shin wasn't the blue-hair unattainably cool protagonist. Well, other than the blue-hair part, he actually was.

Crap.

Sena was about twenty minutes early and pretty much twitching with anxiety. Why did he think this was a good idea? Okay, the first couple options Riku came up with had been _so much worse_ , but they could've kept brainstorming. Riku was a lot smarter than Sena; he would've come up with something if Sena had waited a little bit longer. And then Sena saw _him_ , and his breath kinda caught in his throat. Since he'd been back, Sena had really only seen Shin in training clothes, things he'd seen Shin wear a thousand times, and while appealing in their own right, was very much an "on field" sort of thing. Shin never broke concentration while "on field" and it made… well, any sort of _philandering_ feel like _philandering_ and pretty much unwelcome. (He would still catch himself staring a little too long, because, holy crap, he was only human and Shin was friggin' _really, really good-looking_.) He'd almost forgotten what Shin looked like in everyday clothes and it was a shame, but now… how did his American friends put it? Ah, yes.

 _ **Hot damn**_ **.**

Sena gulped painfully and raised a hand to wave. Shin caught sight of him, and all 6'2" of his- amazingly, how the crap did this happen- boyfriend headed his way. The plain white-tee was stretched almost too tightly over broad shoulders and a chest that should probably be illegal for Sena's _sanity_. The usual long-sleeve undershirt had been forgotten and, no, wait, _those arms_ should be illegal. And had he _ever_ seen Shin in jeans? Acid washed jeans that clung to stupidly powerful looking thighs?! Everything, from the head to his toes, should come with a glaring, flashing, neon warning label. Sena was a runner, a great runner, and he'd bulked up a little, but he wanted to weep because he'd _never_ look that good, but also felt like crying because _Shin_ looked that good. Sena glanced down at his brown corduroys and blue-tee with the dark blue _Grand Canyon West_ printed across his chest. It fitted well enough, but it was definitely baggier on him and made him look thinner than he was. It was one of his favorite shirts, because the Grand Canyon had actually been pretty amazing, and he'd wanted the comfort (and Suzuna had helpfully pointed out he looked good in that shade of blue).

Shin approached while Sena was still thinking longingly of at least his old Notre Dame shirt that showed off _some_ of his shoulder-width and therefore didn't reduce him to looking sixteen again. It took a moment to see through his own crippling anxiety to notice… Shin kept rubbing his hands on his jeans. He knew _for sure_ that Shin did not have nervous ticks, so… what was happening?

"Seijuuro?" Sena questioned haltingly. "Is… Are you all right?"

Shin frowned darkly and glared down at his legs. "Sakuraba made me wear these. He bought them, so I felt obligated, but they're uncomfortable. Also why are they stained on purpose? They were very expensive for being already ruined," Shin muttered, tugging ineffectually at the belt loops. "It was difficult to fit my wallet in the pockets."

Sena choked, trying desperately to hold it back, but it spilled out of him anyway. Bright, raucous, relieved laughter that had him doubling over with his fist over his mouth.

"I don't see what's so funny."

"It's you. You're _nervous_ , just like me!" Sena said cheerfully.

Shin stared at him a moment before the frown lifted into something more affectionate (if you knew him, otherwise he looked sort of neutrally okay). "They _are_ uncomfortable. And ridiculous. I am a little nervous, though. I don't… like being bad at things."

Guilty shock had the chuckles dying away. "Shin-san, I didn't- I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

"You were right," Shin replied easily, with a shake of his head. "I don't know how to date. I spend four months understanding… _feelings_ , but I didn't look up what to do _afterwards_. It was negligent of me and I'm never _negligent_." He looked downright affronted and Sena couldn't help but smile.

Nervous hesitation gripped him for a moment, but he reached out and slipped his fingers into Shin's hand, the pads of his fingertips brushing his palm rather discreetly. Not that it mattered, because the second Shin felt the timid action, he instantly entwined their fingers. The first time they'd held hands, Shin had been very serious about it, explaining to him that romantic partners needed to hold hands _just so_ to be most effectively intimate. It was embarrassingly perfectly _Shin_.

"It's all right not to know everything. We're in this together and both just getting started, right? We have no idea if we're bad at dates yet," Sena assured easily.

"The burger dinner didn't go over well," Shin pointed out bluntly. Sena winced.

"I didn't think that one through. Come on, let's give this a good shot," Sena encouraged, tugging Shin's hand lightly. Shin followed readily, dark eyes darting around the park as his pensive, default frown returned.

"It seems that mostly children are here," Shin observed in confusion. Sena blushed brightly.

"I might not've thought this one through either," Sena admitted. "But if we don't like it we can go to your dorm, watch one of your sports' documentaries, until it's time to eat lunch together."

"I like that," Shin agreed with a surprisingly gentle squeeze of his hand around Sena's. Sena glanced back, and the surprise must've shown. "It was in the book. 'When wanting to show affection, clasp your significant other's hand with a brief, discernible pressure'. I had to make Sakuraba practice with me. Apparently I applied too much discernible pressure several times," Shin told him shamelessly and slightly perplexed over the remembrance. _Poor Sakuraba,_ Sena thought with too much amusement for true sympathy.

"It was great," Sena murmured, returning the gesture. That fleeting smile crossed Shin's face and his shoulders suddenly seemed to slump, as if tension had left them in a rush. _He's trying so hard_ , Sena realized, coming to an abrupt stop.

"Sena?"

"Please, just wait." He glanced around quickly before tugging Shin over behind a snack stand that either hadn't opened yet or had gone out of business, but the windows were closed and no one was around. They rounded the corner and Sena turned to face Shin's once again baffled expression.

"Sena, what's happening?"

Without a word, Sena reached up and cupped the back of Shin's neck. He was too _tall_ , so he had to wait until Shin caught on- a.k.a. noticed the increasing pressure of Sena's hand- and bent down. As soon as he was close enough, Sena rocked up onto his toes and instigated a kiss for the very first time. He was probably blushing so hard his ears had the look of a very bad sunburn, but the immediate weight of Shin's arms around his waist and the simple, earnest way he kissed back made the mild embarrassment worth it. They didn't leave the shade of the unused vendor for a longer time than Sena had anticipated. Shin really seemed to appreciate being surprise-kiss-ambushed, which was a good thing because he _really hadn't_ appreciated the roller coasters.

Even though they'd ended up with Shin almost vomiting all over a ten-year-old that didn't move out of the way fast enough and ending the date watching the history of rugby in Shin's dorm while his stomach settled, Sena couldn't call it a bust.

If anything, it would probably be the only time he ever saw Shin wearing jeans that made his butt look _that good_. And rugby was surprisingly interesting so hanging out at the dorm was nice. …But it might've just been Shin stretched out over his bed, head on Sena's lap while his stomach roiled and the younger boy ran his fingers through silky black hair soothingly that had made the documentary so enjoyable.

2.

The next date was Shin's turn. He'd very firmly insisted they try to take turns coming up with dates, instead of leaving the burden solely on Sena's shoulders.

… Sena and _Riku's_ shoulders.

The fact that the amusement park had been such a bust might have been the major factor, though.

Sena wore a pair of old sports' shorts and navy-blue and gold Danskin tee- another US buy. It'd actually been part of his mandated uniform at Notre Dame. The only information Shin had given him was a location and to come dressed for amefuto. He really should've expected an amefuto date. Shin tended to revolve all his extracurricular thinking around it, after all. They _both_ had aspirations for the NFL, both practice pretty much every single day or had games every other weekend (either their own or each other's), and Sena _loved_ amefuto. But… he'd been kinda disappointed that Shin had been a little less imaginative than he'd hoped. Whatever, he loved playing amefuto with Shin, and it wasn't often they did solo practice together… wait, can you do solo practice with two people? Sena's pondering tangented off in confusion until his name shouted aloud pulled him out of it.

He turned towards Shin's voice and immediately felt bad for thinking so poorly of Shin's planning skills. Because _nothing_ could've prepared him for the sight rushing towards him.

Shin. In blue and silver tracksuit. Jogging towards the empty field. A whistle bouncing on his impressive chest.

 _And a horde of children chasing him_.

Sena stared dumbly, mouth slack and eyes wide, until the _literal horde_ of children stopped moving, Sena and Shin the eye of the barely restrained storm. Many were still shoving and giggling and flushed from their run, however long it had been.

"Shin-san, kidnapping is a crime," Sena blurted.

The older kids burst up laughing while the younger ones- some so small they barely stood above _Sena's_ knee level- blinked innocently and confused between the two.

Shin snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "Really? _Kobayakawa_ ," he emphasized pointedly. Sena ducked his head awkwardly.

"He didn't _kidnap_ us, Kobayakawa-sensei. He's our coach!" piped up the tallish boy with a couple teeth missing and buzzcut.

"Yeah! He coaches us all the time! Baseball and amefuto and basketball," listed off a sweet faced girl with a giant bruise around one eye.

"And swimming!" chirped a tiny boy whose fist was clutching the bottom of Shin's long track shorts.

"What?!" Sena yelped, bewildered brown eyes meeting Shin's.

"I volunteer at the community center about twice a week," Shin explained straightforwardly, as if he wasn't _blowing Sena's mind_.

"We're going to play freeze tag today. You said a date should be fun, and I thought this would be. I told the kids about how fast you run-" Shin tried to explain, but the children all began talking at once.

"Faster as lightning!" a gangly tall girl interrupted excitedly.

"No, fast as _light_ ," corrected a snotty sounding younger boy.

"Can you really run faster'n _Shin-sensei_?"

"Shin-sensei says you lived in _'Merica_ for _months_."

"Is you married to Shin-sensei?"

"Stupid, boys can't get _married_."

"But-"

The whistle blew so loudly Sena rocked back on his heels. All the children immediately stood at attention, tiny obedient servants to the whistle, and gazed up at Shin- _Shin-sensei_ Sena couldn't help but think dopily- with expectant, solemn faces.

" _Line up_ ," Shin thundered. The kids giggled and ran into perfect lines on the field. They separated into what obviously seemed to be rehearsed places, each line a mix of ages and sizes to make them as even as possible. Each of the biggest kids held the hand of a smallest. Sena stared. "Green and blue teams, on-"

All together with Shin they screamed " _One two THREE!_ " and ran into two larger groups.

"You're a child _whisperer_ ," Sena breathed out in amazed disbelief.

"I don't whisper. I shout," Shin disagreed with a sardonic lift of an eyebrow. Sena burst into laughter, holding himself up by leaning a hand on Shin's shoulder.

"I think this beats the amusement park. By a lot," Sena said when he finally got his laughter under control. Shin's face turned stony.

"Anything is better than the amusement park."

Sena laughed again and then jogged out towards the still- _astonishingly_ \- patiently waiting children. "So, who's gonna teach me how to play freeze tag? It's been so long I totally forgot how. What about you?" Sena asked, holding out a hand to one of the smallest kids he couldn't help but feel an affinity for.

"I'm too slow. You'll get out," the little girl protested sadly.

"I got an idea." He squatted down and held his hands behind him. "Hop on my back. You can lead me around like a chariot."

" _Oooohhhh!_ Really?" she gasped, eyes glittering brightly. She scrambled on, the tall boy next to her helping her up. Sena got up, pretended to lose balance to make her and the kids around him shriek, then righted himself with his elbows locked around her knees. "I has a horsey who's faster'n _lightning!_ " she shrieked giddily and tightened her arms around Sena's neck.

"All right, Shin-sensei! I'm ready. So is…?" he turned awkwardly to meet the little girl's eyes.

"Atsuko."

"So is Atsu-chan." She squealed and kicked at his ribs. He was gonna come out of this bruised, and he needed to think of a better excuse to tell friends than 'a little girl shorter than my knees beat me up'.

The whistle split the air. "Team Green?" Shin bellowed as he strode between them.

"Ready!" The team opposite Sena cried.

"Team Blue?" Shin met Sena's eyes and Sena could see the smile just barely hovering around his mouth.

"Ready!" Sena shouted with the kids.

The whistle blew again and Atsuko shrieked at him to _run_. He kept a normal pace, but whenever a kid almost touched him or Atsuko, he burst into lightspeed just to hear them scream and tear after them. Atsuko won a game of tag for the first time _ever_.

It had been almost painful to finally let her down, and not just because she'd cried and almost tore skin off with her jagged, bitten nails. As soon as she was set down, though, the kids jumped up and down begging Shin and Sena to race for them, desperate to see who was faster. Their astounded face shined with hero-worship when the two amefuto players skidded to a stop in front of them, just to be stampeded with gleeful whoops and cheers. Sena helped Shin round them all together and herd them back the short distance to the community center. He even waited, side-by-side with Shin, to wave all the children good-bye.

Atsuko forced her parents to wait long enough to clamber up Sena to demand a _spine-crunching_ hug for a kid her size, smack his cheek with a grossly sticky child's kiss, and declare him her very best friend before running back to her amused parents.

"I have to change, if you don't mind waiting a little longer," Shin said, the question clear in his voice. Sena shook his head.

"No, I don't mind, but- uh… Can I ask something?"

The taller of the two stood in place and waited silently for Sena to continue. He scratched his cheek and stared at the ground.

"I wanted to thank you. I had a lot of fun today. It was… really nice. I've never seen you like that before," Sena mumbled shyly. Shin's frown was baffled, both eyebrows meeting his hairline.

"Seen me like what?"

Honestly, Sena didn't know how to describe it, not really. Just… the way he'd managed the kids, effortlessly and patiently. How he'd shouted and bellowed, but somehow never seemed intimidating or frightening. How he'd let kids climb over him like a jungle gym, giggling and unafraid, while he stood still, arms crossed, frown somehow… _contented_. How when two kids had smacked into each other too hard, he'd rushed to their sides radiating concern. When another kid scraped a knee, his big, Trident-Tackling hands had been gentle as they smoothed on a band-aid. When he scolded the big kids for taking advantage of the smaller ones, they'd been guilty and contrite for their _actions_ , rather than terrified for _themselves_. While Shin had still been rather expressionless, nor had there been no belly laughs or grins, there _had_ been something indulgent and kind about him. Sena had long since stopped seeing Shin as robotic, or even intimidating, it'd been even longer since he'd been _scared_ of him, but there was still a part of him that remembered. And that tiny part of him had watched Shin with a soft amazement that had his heart pounding strangely and a surge of _wow I really like him_ running in his head.

He couldn't help but selfishly wonder if Shin ever did the same. Look at him and be _amazed_ and think the same words.

Pulling back to the present, Sena shrugged self-consciously. "You're different with those kids. It's like you're seconds away from smiling the whole time. I know we're both aiming for being professional ball players, and there's _no way_ you wouldn't get drafted, I _know_ you'll play in the NFL one day," Sena said adamantly, with every fiber of his being full of conviction. Shin's eyes widened slightly, looking surprised and then softening into something pleased. "But… what you were doing today? Coaching and playing with those kids? I think you'd be just as great doing this, too. If y-you w-were st-still thinking up a p-plan B or s-something," Sena broke off into horrified stammers. "I'm s-sorry if I overstepped. I sh-shouldn't-"

Shin stepped closer to Sena, looming over him, but somehow it didn't feel _looming_. There startling curve of his mouth and the gentle way he laid a hand on Sena's shoulder had the younger one relaxing in seconds.

"You didn't overstep. I do like volunteering. I did it because my college advisor told me they were looking for volunteers and it would… have a positive effect on any future career prospects whenever I send out a resume," Shin explained, dredging up the words from memory. "I never thought I'd like it as much as I do, or that it could be something I could make a career out of by itself."

"It's better than economics. You don't look half as interested in _that_ as you do shouting to _lift those knees higher, we're running, not shuffling, Tanaka_ ," Sena mimicked, lowering his voice and frowning over-exaggeratedly. Shin actually _scoffed_ humorously.

"He seems to think he can leave his feet completely on the ground and consider it running. He's a work in progress," Shin sighed lightly. Sena dropped his head, forehead leaning on Shin's chest, and laughed quietly. The heavy weight of Shin's arm wrapped around his back, and as terrified as he was someone might walk up and see him, he was too _comfortable_ to pull away. Affection from Shin was a strange thing—few and far between, but so easily, heedlessly given. It never really mattered to Shin where they were, just, at the moment, it seemed right to him and he did it.

"Thank you, for sharing this with me," Sena whispered.

"It's not a secret. I wouldn't keep a secret from you, Sena. I just didn't think of it before now. I started volunteering just after you went to America," he murmured just as softly. Sena couldn't help but blush at the quiet promise.

"I won't keep secrets from you, either. I don't think I could. You'd just look at me and I'd spill my guts," Sena confessed with a chuckle.

"…because you're frightened by me?" he sounded honestly bewildered and maybe even hurt.

Sena jerked away, hands on Shin's arms and gaze earnest. "What! No! I haven't- not since my first year of high school! After our first game, before it was even over. I was intimidated a little longer, but not scared of you! I wanted your notice, and I wanted to work harder. I wanted your _approval_ all the time until I realized I wanted-" Sena broke off, face beet red. "N-not scared. I j-just. You _look_ at me and-" he dropped his face towards the ground and he was pretty sure his blush had traveled to his fingertips and toes by now. "S-Sorry, I c-can't explain it."

"I think I understand," Shin replied in a tone Sena had never heard from him. Sena shook minutely, unsure why or what was layered under Shin's words. "Sena, look at me."

Sena stiffened, but slowly, jerkily managed to lift up his face. Whatever was in Shin's voice was in his eyes, making them look darker and sharper. He was just so _intense_ and whatever was happening now was no different. The involuntary swallow hurt, like swallowing around a rock.

He should've seen it coming. Moments like these, the long pregnant pauses with intense, unnamable emotion always ended like this. But it still felt new and daring, even more so being in the open. There was something much more heated in this kiss than the one from the park behind the vendor. The grip of Shin's hands on his waist, the twisted fabric of Shin's shirtsleeves in Sena's fists and the pulse beating in his ears and throat, wilder and uncontrolled somehow. When Shin slanted his mouth over Sena's, moving with an urgency that not even those first winter kisses had, Sena made a _noise_. A stupid, broken, needy kinda noise that made his cheeks burn, but Shin's hands convulse, tightening almost enough to make Sena squeak—which was pretty difficult to do these day,w ith his heightened pain tolerance. The other noise— _that_ was new. This time the kiss went deeper, the startling damp heat of Shin's tongue over his lip, an echo of the first one until Sena's mouth parted Shin slipped past lips and teeth to slide along Sena's tongue. Just when Sena thought he might be able to get the hang of how to return it, how to chase the heady taste of the Knight's mouth, Shin tore away with a guttural sound that had Sena's _toes_ curling. Why didn't _he_ make a sound like that? Instead of the needy whine that escaped him a second time.

"I- my bag. I have to-"

The runningback blinked woozily up to Oujou ace's face, barely comprehending the flustered, pinkened features and blown pupils before he was _gone_. Sena wobbled a bit, mouth still tingly and damp and _cold_ , and wondered what the hell just happened and did Shin just _light speed away_?

It took longer than it should have for the 4.2 second dash-runner to come back with a bag. The whole walk to the subway line, where'd they have to split up onto different lines, they walked close enough to bump shoulders but carefully didn't make eye contact. Though, they _did_ repeatedly glance at the other's profile and turned away before the other could catch them at it.

3.

The door swung open with a cheerful jangle of a bell, but the tall, stony-faced man that entered only glared sullenly up at it. The much shorter not-quite-boy-not-quite-man entered at his side, hiding a smile behind the strap of his backpack. They'd put off coming here for almost two months after the idea had initially been put on the table. By Shin, who was still glaring, arms crossed so tightly over his chest Sena was surprised the shirt didn't burst seams and thread over his shoulders and back. The sale rep was a pleasant-faced, pretty girl in the usual cute outfit stores like these had.

Sena had learned a lot of things in America. Most had to do with football. Some involved the various classes he'd taken, namely the _shit ton_ of English he'd somehow managed to cram into his school, poor English though it was. Some others were the many delicious, ridiculously fattening and cheesy American dishes they ate more often than vegetables. Also, no one does or loves breakfast quite as well, or as enthusiastically, as Americans.

The last things he'd learned were: he was very, very gay, he had a very biased preference, and being queer was complicated, messy, and totally up to the individual to identify. His timid forays into Notre Dame's GSA meetings had him pulled into the 'belly of the beast' and most of his English learning had come from the eagerly welcoming and kind attentions of the members of the GSA and, of course, the boisterous teenage boys he played football with. So he could look at the cute girl in her cute uniform and acknowledge 'she's cute' and move on.

The way she was eyeing up Shin's shoulders and arms, though, was probably eerily reminiscent of his own voyeurism. Maybe, just a little, in the darkest, vainest part of him, he couldn't help but think: 'yup, that's _my_ boyfriend'. His self-proclaimed "queer-sponsor", as she jokingly called herself, in USA would be proud.

"Seijuuro, it'll be over before you know it. That last practice mobile lasted a whole two weeks. It's still in one piece… mostly…" Sena tried to reassure his boyfriend, who looked like a fish out of water and _mad_ about it.

In that deeply buried terrible dark part of himself, he also loved every ridiculous imperfection Shin had. Just when he seemed _too_ perfect, he puked on roller coasters and was scared of buying a cellphone. It balanced out, really.

"It was made of plastic and had buttons in the shape of ducks," Shin stated bluntly, eying the much fancier, duck-button-less mobiles laid out in the display case as they approached with dark suspicion. The utterly bewildered look on the girl's face was priceless.

"I promised we wouldn't leave until you were sure you were comfortable with the new phone _and_ if you didn't like any, we'd leave. Calm down," Sena reminded him with an encouraging smile. Shin grunted, unimpressed.

"Good afternoon~" chirped the girl. She looked somewhere between third-year of high school and freshman in college and her clever brown eyes darted between them thoughtfully. "My name is Marin and I'll be your assistant today. How may I help you?"

"I need a phone," Shin retorted. Very unhelpfully and almost rudely. Sena had to look away to hide his wobbling smile.

"We have a lot of options, sir. Would you like to look at the latest models?" she asked, her bright smile becoming a little fixed.

"Does it have buttons? Not those pictures things on the screen. _Buttons_. That I can see," Shin asked, eyes narrowed and forearms tensing over his chest. Her gaze went blank for a second, focusing on the bulge of muscle, before she shook her head and re-applied her bright smile.

"I'm sorry, sir. Most of the current models have touch screens." Shin snorted. "However, we do have some older models, brand-new or used, and they're very good deals. Much cheaper."

"Cheaper was better, right?" Shin asked, turning to Sena. The shorter sports' ace nodded.

"Definitely. Maybe something that is… hard to break?" he suggested diplomatically, eyes darting to Marin's apologetically. Her eyes widened as her mouth parted into an understanding 'oh'.

"We have a few quite… _hardy_ models, with buttons, and even protective cases. Would you be interested in looking over them?"

Shin hesitated, glanced at Sena to see his optimistic smile, then looked back to her and nodded once. Marin pressed her fingers to her lips to hide the genuine smile there, then professionally and amiably led him over to the cases. She left him there after a few minutes to come back for Sena, who was looking at the newer models with envy. He wanted a new one so bad, but his parents were already putting out so much money for college and allowance and his scholarship only covered so much.

"Excuse me, I think he needs your help. He looks a little lost," Marin whispered with a wink. Sena blushed when he realized that _she_ realized that they were probably more than friends. "Has he never had a phone before?"

Sena shook his head. "Electronics tend to… fall apart when he touches them." She stared at him and he shrugged helplessly. "We're working on it. Having conversations through his dormmate's phone gets complicated."

"Oh, I'll bet. Especially if… he goes to Oujou, right? I saw the badge on his shirt," she queried politely as they walked back towards him.

"Yeah, and I'm Enma." She winced sympathetically. "Not being able to text or call each other directly isn't working well anymore."

"Oh, I'll bet," she agreed earnestly, in a way that had Sena's flush brightening.

They came up to Shin's side. His dark eyes took in Sena, shoulders relaxing at his arrival, but when Marin stepped up his shoulders tensed again. His eyes swept up and down her body, narrowing until he seemed to lay his gaze on the personalized nametag on her chest. His shoulders unknotted again. "Sena. Marin. I was looking at that one," he all but grumped, pointing at a heavy, blocky flipphone from about… ten years ago.

Marin quickly stepped up and discussed the finer points of the model, efficient and cheerful with zero showing of her personal opinion on the fossil he was trying to buy. Sena, however, was staring at Shin as an odd thought wormed its way into his mind. He'd seen Shin do that up-down look before, and while it should've seemed vulgar just then, it seemed perfunctory and ingenuous instead. Just like every other time he'd seen Shin do it. Every earlier instance, from not noticing Sakuraba's new look in high school (despite how drastic it'd been) to the startlingly easy way he'd pinpointed that Sena and Eyeshield 21 were one and the same, came glaring back. Shin hadn't looked at his face, or Sakuraba's. In fact, whenever Shin first approached, he never met Sena's eyes. They'd always traveled quickly and surely over Sena's body before meeting his eyes.

 _Wha… there's… that's not a… thing… is it?_

"Sena?" Shin's voice broke through the epiphany, sounding as though it wasn't the first time he'd said it and slightly aggravated.

"S-Sorry, just I thought of s-something," Sena stuttered, feeling shell-shocked. Shin's aggravated frown immediately dropped as concern filtered in.

"Is something wrong?"

Sena quickly shook his head and dragged a smile onto his face. "No, of course not. Just my weird daydream tangents. You know how I get."

"Ah," Shin nodded. He gestured Sena towards the case. "I'm getting this one. She said it can't go online, but I don't need to do that. I can ask the librarian for help."

"Or me. Or Sakuraba-san. This is for emergencies and easy, _simple_ communication. You can work up to better models if this one survives," Sena agreed. Shin nodded firmly, completely unabashed. He'd never really been embarrassed by his technological shortcomings, if he even saw it as such. Sena had seen him using _encyclopedias_ for research. Paperbound _books_. He was completely and totally fine without it.

Marin packaged it quickly and efficiently, slowly going through the process for turning it on, keeping it charged, and other small tips for keeping it in good working order. She threw in a case for free and made sure to highlight and circle the phone number. Sena whipped out his phone and quickly saved the number himself.

"When it's finished charging tomorrow morning, get my number from Sakuraba-san," Sena told him as he slipped the phone back in his back pocket. "Thank you, Marin-san."

"It was my pleasure, Sena-sama, Shin-sama. I don't know your family name, sorry to be so forward," she explained to Sena with a shy smile. Sena shook his head.

"Most people don't use it. Sena is fine."

"Thank you, Marin. You were very patient with me," Shin admitted a moment later. His body language was much looser, too, hands hanging at his sides and frown not so severe.

"It was fun. I've never had a total newbie before! I've also never helped such a cute couple," she teased, voice dropping at the end as she gave them another secretive wink.

"W-We- th-that's… n-not c-cute," Sena stammered in embarrassed objection.

"General opinion from our friends says otherwise. Suzuna calls you cute at least three times during a single conversation, especially in accordance to our relationship," Shin argued nonplussed. Marin finally gave in and giggled, blushing at Shin's shamelessness, as Sena desperately pushed his oblivious boyfriend out the door.

"Come back any time!" Marin called after them, waving.

"I don't understand why you're upset."

"Not upset. Just embarrassed, a little?"

Shin stopped mid-stride in the middle of the sidewalk and twisted slightly to look down at Sena. "What." He said flatly, no question. Sena grimaced.

"Not- no, not of-" Sena flapped his hands between them. "It's just… hard for me. To do… coupley things in public, to just blurt it out like that."

"Why?" Shin persisted. Sena shrugged awkwardly.

"It's just hard. I don't like people staring at me. I think I was Eyeshield for so long, because I was scared of the attention as much as I didn't feel I'd earned the title yet. It's just something I do?" Sena struggled to explain, hands fidgeting.

Thankfully, Shin backed off, silently going over Sena's words. He crossed his arms over his chest, and Sena peered up at the motion, taking in the pensive scowl and tilted head. It took maybe an entire block, walking next to each other without words, but not exactly uncomfortable. In fact, it kinda helped Sena get his flustering under control when not under Shin's scrutiny. Shin's arms finally dropped to his sides as he exhaled roughly.

"You're still timid. Not as much as before, but more than I thought," he rationalized.

"It helped, going to America. I had to 'get out of my shell' while I was there," he airquoted around the words and Shin glanced over at him inquiringly. "Those are my friend, Emily's, words, not mine. Mamori-neechan also used the phrase in an email just before I came back." Understanding dawned and Shin nodded. "America doesn't do… polite conversations. You have to talk over each other and interrupt to be heard. I had to make myself be noticed because I was so much smaller than a lot of people at first, too. Even smaller than a lot of the girls," he added ruefully. "Even when I gained my last couple centimeters, Emily would pat my head and call me 'Speedy' or mouse. It had something to do with an old cartoon."

"Emily?"

Sena nodded, smiling fondly. "She was one of the best friends I made, actually. I was really good friends with my teammates, especially after they realized just because I'm small didn't mean I was a bad player. I had to… prove myself to them, but it wasn't too hard."

"Not surprising. You're one of the best players in the world. Didn't they see the World Cup?" Shin asked incredulously.

"A lot of them did, but I don't think they could believe until they saw it themselves. Emily didn't care about football."

"She wasn't a manager?"

Sena burst out laughing. "Not all girls are managers."

"Karin is a quarterback."

"Or quarterbacks. Emily was in a club I joined. She actually… she helped me a lot… with you. And how I felt about you," Sena muttered, blushing and scratching the back of his head. Shin bent a startled look down on him. "About liking _guys_ , actually. That's kinda what the club was."

"You have feelings about other men?"

"No! Yes? Ugh, it's difficult to explain and we're walking along the sidewalk. Maybe we could sit somewhere? There's a coffee shop Mamori-neechan and Suzuna showed me ahead."

"Yes, we can sit. I want to understand more about what happened in America, and your friends. We talked about your team and your improvements, but I didn't realize you had other things to occupy your time other than studies," Shin admitted with a degree of intrigue in his voice Sena didn't think he'd have.

"Surprisingly, ever since I joined amefuto, I end up collecting groups of friends somehow. And most of them are bigger'n me," Sena grumbled, very put out. He bit his lip at the coffee shop coming into view. "When we go in… could you order something other than water?"

"But I only eat-"

"I know!" Sena quickly interrupted, putting a hand on Shin's arm and arresting his attention. His mouth was quivering in nerves, but he clenched his jaw and met Shin's confused gaze straight on. "Don't you ever just want to eat something because it _tastes_ good? My teammates in America are just as-" he flapped his hand over Shin's _everything_ \- "and they still eat snacks and bad for them food occasionally. Some of them actually _only_ eat junk food and look like you. But, sometimes you're just supposed to… _enjoy_ something. Because it's good and you like it. Don't you have a favorite food?"

Shin stared at him, nonplussed. "I eat a lot of rice. And chicken."

Sena sighed roughly and dragged a hand through his hair. "Think about something you've eaten, not because it was healthy or nutritional or whatever. Just something _good_."

It actually looked like it _hurt_ to think that hard and Sena felt himself go a little blue.

"Ice cream. It tasted sweet… like fruit almost. And it was yellow," Shin gradually, painfully recalled.

"… Seijuuro, how long ago was it?"

"I was eleven? Almost twelve."

Sena's jaw dropped to the ground.

"I started training, and joined the school soccer team then. Then, track and cross country for a short time. In middle school, amefuto was the most challenging, and I was able to develop my speed, stamina, and strength in ways I didn't feel the others could."

"And you stopped eating ice cream."

Shin nodded. "I asked my mother to make me nutritionally balanced meals that would optimize metabolism and growth. I refused to eat anything not on a nutritionist's specially recommended diet."

"I guess… I guess it's rude for me to try and change that. That's a pretty big deal, choosing something like that at _eleven_ and sticking to it for so long. That's pretty impressive actually," Sena conceded, sweatdropping down his temple and shaking his head. "You're pretty amazing. I can learn to deal with you drinking water while I eat a snack, if you can deal with me eating unhealthy snack foods. It's only fair, right? I'm sorry."

"…why does it bother you?" Shin questioned curiously.

"Well, it's kinda awkward to eat alone when someone sitting with you isn't. I don't know, it just seems _rude,_ " Sena shrugged awkwardly. "And… I kinda feel bad eating something so bad for me when you work so hard to be healthy."

"It makes you feel bad and impolite."

"It's fine!" Sena exclaimed, waving his hands wildly and sweating a little more. "It's _really_ fine, I promise. I'll get over it. You got a phone just because I asked you to. I don't want to change who you are for _me_ , Shin-san. I _like_ who you are, ice cream or no ice cream."

Shin nodded and pushed his way into the store. Sena followed in his wake, sighing self-deprecatingly. _Way to be a total jerk, Kobayakawa_. Shin led the way to the counter and frowned up at the menu.

"What do you normally order?" he asked abruptly. Sena jumped.

"U-uh, I normally share. With Mamori-neechan and Suzuna."

"… _what_ do you share?"

"I guess, one of those parfait things. I liked the strawberry jam one. It's kinda big for one person," Sena answered haltingly.

"It is pretty big, but not for two big guys like you," said the very young teen boy behind the counter. It was one of the few times Sena truly felt 18, looking at the young high schooler with his big "work" smile.

"Uh, n-no, we're n-not-"

"Just that?" Shin interrupted, squinting at the display case of cakes.

"No. We share a couple different things. They almost always get a chocolate cheesecake, actually," Sena wrinkled his nose. "It's good, but I don't really like chocolate _cheese_ cake. I wanted to try the green tea one, but it's Mamori-neechan's favorite dessert here. Since they don't have cream puffs," he joked, grinning. Shin blinked back incomprehensibly, then turned to the kid waiting and seemingly bouncing in place.

"The green tea one," Shin ordered.

Sena stared at the case, at the waiter, and then at Shin, who was pulling out a wallet.

" _Wh-What are you doing_? I can't eat all of that, really! And you're not gonna eat any, lemme pay, Seijuuro," Sena all but zoomed to the counter, grabbing Shin's wrist.

"I'd like two waters with that. Water with cake is fine, right?" he addressed the waiter, completely ignoring the fish-mouthing, speechless Sena.

"Actually, with the green tea cheesecake and strawberry ice cream? Normally people order espresso… or Americano? Coffee, because it's a coffee shop," the boy pointed out hesitantly, eyes darting between the two of them.

"Water is fine. He's only drinking water. _Shin-san_ ," Sena hissed as soon as he found his voice again.

Shin met Sena's eyes straight on, deadpanned and blank-faced. "Two espressos with water."

"Tuh-whuh- You don't have to do this, Seijuuro."

"I'll try this, _your way_ , and then we have a real meal for dinner tonight and _I'm cooking_ ," Shin responded as he handed over the yenn the boy was stammering for.

"I shouldn't have bothered you- wait… you cook your own food?" Sena derailed, eyes wide. The look on Shin's face was utter disappointment in him.

"Do you think I go back home every day so my mother can cook my food for me? I'm _twenty-one_ and live half of Tokyo away. I don't have time for that. I learned how to cook my meals in high school when my mother went back to work," Shin informed him. He turned back to the cashier. "Thank you."

"Th-thank you," Sena echoed dumbly while the cashier blinked just as dumbly back. He automatically led Shin over to the table and cushiony sofas near the window he usually sat at with the girls. Watching Shin sink awkwardly into the floral pattern couch did the trick for knocking him out of his wordless shock. "I… I don't know a lot about you, do I?" He didn't mean to sound so small and… _sad_.

"You know more about me than most of my classmates," Shin said with a shrug. "I don't talk much about myself unless asked. Most people…"

"They ask about amefuto."

"Or if I'm dating anyone. There's a few people… I think one is a reporter? They ask it a lot," Shin added with a confused scowl. "When I told them last time I was dating you, I thought one died… she fell over and didn't move, but no one seemed to notice, so figure maybe not."

Sena choked on air.

"Why do you think you don't much about me?"

"I didn't know you cooked. Or that you volunteered at the community center. I've never met your parents, or asked what they do for a living,' Sena listed off, getting guiltier and more dejected as he went, wilting into the velvet blue couch he'd claimed. Shin leaned forward, breaking through Sena's melancholy.

"No one really knows those things. Sakuraba knows about the cooking because he's my roommate. He's only met my parents via his phone because I couldn't use my own. Something you helped me with today. I don't know those things about you, either. Amefuto, school, the kind of person you are, I know those things, and _they're_ important," Shin stated firmly and sincerely. Sena couldn't help but smile in relief because Shin was right.

"Yeah. But we have all afternoon and a whole lot of ice cream to try and finish. I think we have enough time to ask those questions now," Sena suggested bashfully, a peace offering of sorts.

"I wouldn't mind that." His dark eyes roamed Sena's face with that same burning intensity Sena had become so used to. The creeping thought of earlier, from the phone store, slipped back in and he wondered… was that intensity… because…

"Can you see my face?" Sena whispered.

Shin froze, eyes widened and nostrils flaring. "Right now. I have perfect vision."

"What happens when you look away?" Sena questioned, his own eyes darting between Shin's, wondering… if he could possibly be right.

"I remember you have brown eyes. I know I… I like the way you smile and you always look… kind. When I first met you, I remembering thinking you seemed terrified. But I can't… I can't actually see it if I can't see you," Shin confessed, voice hoarse.

"Seijuuro-"

"Order up," chirped the same boy from the counter. Both Sena and Shin recoiled back into the sofas so quickly, startled like sneaking cats getting caught, that the waiter almost tipped the tray over. Only the two fastest amefuto players' lightning reflexes kept it from toppling. A few splashes of espresso dotted their saucers, and a strawberry or two rolled down the mountain of vanilla ice cream, but otherwise it was luckily fine.

There was a round of anxious apologies from Sena and the waiter- Ahiru- who almost shouted over each other, while Shin set the dishes on the table safely. Ahiru walked away flustered and bowing repeatedly through his apologies.

Silence descended like a cloud.

"Is it a problem." Shin grunted, rough and rasping.

"No, it explains a lot, though. I've never heard of that…"

"Prosopagnosia. It's prosopagnosia," Shin snapped. Sena jumped, unused to the _bite_ in his voice. Shin sighed gruffly and ran his hand down his face.

"My mother used to have an important job in a bank. She loved it. Then, when I was a really young, I got lost. Because my mother took off her coat while I wasn't looking."

Sena's hands jerked in his lap, wanting to reach out, to _do_ something, but Shin looked beyond reach. He'd thrown up heavy walls that Sena could _feel_ from where he sat.

"She quit her career to help me. We didn't know what it was for years, I just learned to live around it. I notice ears, hair, body types and posture, body language. I can _see_ those things. But the moment I look away from a face, I can't picture it in my mind."

"When did you…"

Shin closed his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest, the textbook picture of self-defensive posture rather than just his usual way of standing or punctuating some statement.

"After the World Cup. During my last semester of high school. I just thought… it was my fault. I just wasn't observant. I tried really hard to fix it, but it never completely worked. My mother returned to work soon after I was diagnosed."

Sena slid off his ridiculously cushioned sofa and scooted around the small table to sit next to Shin. He grabbed a spoon, handed it to Shin, and then grabbed his own. "I like strawberry jam the best. I hate marmalade, though. My favorite food is black noodles, which Suzuna thought wasn't far in high school."

Shin blinked, features frozen, before they fell into relaxed, softened lines of gratitude.

"I think my favorite food was that yellow ice cream, but I can't remember what it was for sure. My mother works in a bank. I have no idea what she does. My father was born wealthy and has never worked a day in his life. He likes to paint."

"My dad's a lawyer. A tiny, no name, paper-pushing legal office, nothing flashy. My mom's a housewife. I have a cat named Pitt back home."

"I met them. I remember the cat. She was black and white."

Sena's eyes widened. "I forgot! At the Christmas Bowl. My mom and dad mentioned- _oh_. That makes sense now…" Sena breathed. Shin's eyebrow rose and Sena's ears burned red. "My dad made a comment about me liking them tall and my mom said it was a shame me 'n Suzuna wouldn't work out. I was so worn out… I just couldn't be bothered to ask."

"I might have had a long discussion about your influence on my own training, and how much I'd enjoyed seeing you improve…"

Sena snorted as he finally dug his spoon into the strawberry-covered frozen treat. "You sounded like a proud boyfriend in front of my parents and they figured it out before _either_ of us." He gulped down his first bite with relish. Strawberry-anything really was his favorite.

"I should meet them again," Shin said decisively as he scooped a small bit of ice cream and strawberries. "This time I think it's appropriate to bring a gift."

"You… you want to?"

"Of course. We're supposed to, aren't we?" Shin hesitantly tasted his tiny serving, chewing the strawberries thoughtfully. The spoon hovered in midair for a long second as Shin stared at the ice cream. "I like this strawberry syrup topping.

"It's basically pure sugar. Of course you do. Come on, eat a few more bites and you're duty will be done," Sena teased. He took a heaping mouthful of green tea cheesecake and sighed happily. "I knew I'd like this," he almost moaned before going for more. Shin tried it, and made the most hilariously offended noise Sena almost fell out of the sofa laughing.

" _I do not like that_. It really tastes like green tea, but _worse_."

"What do you mean worse?" Sena gasped, wiping at his streaming eyes.

"I don't like green tea in its traditional form. I just assumed all that sugar would make it palatable. That's _sugar's job_ , isn't it?" Shin demanded with a special kind of fury.

"Wha-what kind of J-Japanese man d-doesn't like green tea?" It was the laughter tripping up his tongue rather than his usual timidity.

"This one," Shin growled, eying the cheesecake like it had disparaged his running skills. He went back to the ice cream with a sulky glower on his face.

"All right then. No more green tea things for you. What about your color? What's your favorite color?"

Shin stared intently at Sena's face before lowering his spoon from his mouth, "Brown."

Sena felt the blood rush to his face. "Wh-wha-"

"I can almost remember what your eyes look like if I see the right shade of brown."

Sena shoveled the last of the cheesecake in his mouth, cheeks bulging around it, and stared at the pretty little plate it'd once sat on.

"And your favorite color?"

"I feel kinda lame in comparison, but red. Or maybe green. But I think red. Because… the Devil Bats. I feel taller, _braver_ , wearing red, like I've put the eyeshield back on and I'm on the field again. Instead of in a test, or having an advisor meeting, or something… intimidating, you know?"

"You haven't worn red on our dates. It's blue again today," Shin pointed out scooping up a rather large bite of ice cream. Sena was too busy looking down at his shirt, one of many his mother had bought when he'd come back from America- almost 15 centimeters taller- with plans to move into his dorm.

"I don't think you're intimidating. Dates are hard, but _you're_ not. Uh- har- di-difficult- that came out r-really b-bad," Sena squeaked. He hurriedly spooned ice cream into his mouth, and stilled, eying the very low mound of it left. Almost all the strawberry topping was gone…

He looked over at Shin, eyes wide. Only to grin around his spoon seeing Shin pinching the bridge of his nose, scowling in pain.

"What's wrong?" the runningback asked with a far too innocent look on his face.

"My head. It feels like I've been punched in the brain."

Sena burst into laughter, arms wrapping around his middle and head tilting back.

"It's not funny. I haven't had a headache in five years. I think the dessert made me sick."

"It's a _brain freeze_. You don't remember getting a _brain freeze_?"

"Brain matter doesn't freeze, Sena. Not on the account of a sugar and milk concoction that's already melting."

Sena only laughed harder. He tipped to the side, the side of his face pressing against Shin's shoulder. "I'm s-so glad you're _you_."

"Who else would I be?" Shin grumbled. He was eying the _ice cream_ sulkily now, but more like it had personally betrayed him.

"Someone a lot less interesting."

Luckily the espresso "defrosted" him pretty quickly, and if it hadn't been a chemically-inducing-stimulant, Shin would have liked it. They finally got around to discussing Sena's friends in the GSA, sipping the water. Dinner in Sena's dorm consisted of Sena watching Shina _actually_ cook instead of heating up pre-cooked meals.

They didn't bring up prosopagnosia again, but Sena couldn't help but notice every little cue and quirk in a new light.

4.

Sena had done a lot of research into prosopagnosia soon after, but there wasn't really anything he could _do_. Besides, maybe, not drastically changing his hair or fashion style. A few articles even warned against changing detergents and soaps, as some more sensually-aware and severe cases of prosopagnosia relied on scent as well. He didn't know just how bad Shin's diagnosis was, but he liked his hair and clothes and soaps, anyway, so it shouldn't be a big deal to stick with it. Not if it were for Shin.

Now, he had finally come up with a decent date only about a week after the coffee shop. Shin's dates were always better than his (nauseous on roller coasters- bust; made him distinctly uncomfortable several times, had an almost fight about compromising over diets, and accidentally prodded a deep, painful, childhood wound over a critical, unalterable neurological condition- _huge bust_ ), and Sena had wracked his brains for a date Shin could enjoy. Obviously something without food they'd have an almost argument over, not sitting in place doing something he wasn't sure Shin would even enjoy, nothing that involved too many electronics. Nothing that involved staring at a bunch of faces Shin couldn't keep up with (… that explained the lack of movies that were fast-paced or involved large casts…).

Finally, it hit him like a Devil Laser Bullet to the forehead. It was _summer_. Summer time meant the beach. The beach meant playing beach football or volleyball, swimming just off the beach, stealing glimpses of Shin in only swim trunks. Sometimes his imagination had involved sunglasses just to make it worse (better, so better).

 _So how in the world did this happen?_

Sena sighed long-sufferingly under his armload of beach chairs and umbrellas, a giant beach bag swinging from the crook of his elbow. Monta was next him, lugging a cooler and small chargrill. Suzuna, of course, was up ahead finding the perfect place to lay out towels while Riku, Shin, and Sakuraba had gone off to set up a volleyball net. Somewhere.

 _This was supposed to be a date? How in the world did Suzuna manage to invite herself and_ everyone _we know?_ Because, obviously, within the next hour, the hordes of Saikyoudai, Enma, Shuuei, and Takekura would be arriving. Agon and Hiruma had even promised fireworks—accompanied by evil cackles and smirks.

"Why are you being so _max_ gloomy, Sena? It's the perfect day!" Monta exclaimed from his side.

"It is, isn't it," Sena agreed with his eyes roaming over white sand, crystal aqua-green surf, and the bright, shining sun overhead. The perfect day for his first _good date_ and it got hi-jacked.

"He's still sulky because I 'ruined' his date plans. Everyone knows beaches aren't for dates, they're for parties. It was a good idea, but misguided. I fixed it," Suzuna advised sagely.

"She does that a lot to me, too," Monta muttered under his breath.

"I heard that. You know I'm always right when it comes to these things. So stop arguing and get that stuff over here. Before some family hogs it," Suzuna hastened them along, with her fists on her hips and her evil eye on a large family gathering coming from another direction. Monta and Sena exchanged rueful glances, and hurried their pace.

They had already set up umbrellas and pinned down the towels by the time the other three, joined by Musashi surprisingly, came back. Riku hurled the ball towards them, which Monta easily caught, barely even looking up from the small grill he was trying to set up without it accidentally getting bowled over by sand.

"C'mon, losers. You're taking forever," Riku mocked, throwing himself on Sena's back to tackle him to the ground.

"Wait, no, Riku, ack- I just fixed them!" Sena yelped, trying not to kick up sand or ruin the perfect layout of the towels.

"No way, li'l bro. We're going to race down by the water in, like, two seconds. I'm itching to get a good work out. Seibu hasn't had a good match all season."

"I'm not your brother. Fine, you wanna race?" Sena slipped out of Riku's chokehold and took off, spraying up sand. "Sorry, Suzuna!" he yelped, running backwards when she screeched in surprise and annoyance. Riku whooped and was already on his heels.

"Slackers!" Suzuna bellowed after them.

The two longtime friends were already out of earshot, twisting and cutting around each other, laughing when one or the other almost got tripped into the water.

"They act like five year olds. You'd think they'd work the shenanigans outta their systems living together, but no," Suzuna tsked, even though she was grinning.

"If you could use your skates, you'd be out there with 'em," Musashi pointed out dryly. Suzuna sighed wistfully.

"In a heartbeat."

"Well, I'm done with the grill. I think I'm gonna-"

"You're gonna leave me here alone?"

"Aaaww, Suzu!"

"I'll stay here and help finish whatever needs doing," Sakuraba offered. "These two can't stop staring. It's pitiful." He gestured to both Monta and Shin, who was, ineeded, staring after the two runningbacks with something very close to wistfulness. He glanced almost sheepishly back at them, making Sakuraba laugh.

"Thank you, Sakkuba-chan. We'll figure it out, the two of us. At least someone's a gentlemen," Suzuna conceded with a haughty little sniff. Musashi merely flopped down on the sand, pillowed his head on his hands, and closed his eyes.

"All right! Thanks!" Monta cried, throwing his fist in the air. Shin was already running across the sand. "Hey! Cheating MAX!"

Monta went barreling after them. He'd never be able to truly catch up, but they weren't truly racing either. There was a high-pitched shriek when Sena caught sight of the sandstorm train that was Shin and Riku doubled over laughing until Monta threw himself so violently into the white-haired safety, they splashed into the ocean with a flinch-worthy slap. By the time the foursome managed to drag their sandy, soaking wet, laughing butts back to the site, almost everyone else had shown up. Hot dogs and squid was grilling and someone had brought a stereo that boomed some loud rock number. It shifted over into German death metal, and Sena became pretty sure it was Hiruma's, because it reminded him of Hiruma's sense of humor.

Mamori and Suzuna were laying out watermelons on a large blue tarp while Kotarou was arguing for kicking them open instead of using the stick. Sena kinda wanted to see it happen, actually, until he imagined the watermelon being kicked right into Agon's face. And then, you know, _death_ happening.

"Takami and Ootowara just got here. I'm going to go help bring the food they brought," Shin leaned down to murmur in Sena's ear. Which, really, other than yelling bloody murder, was the only way to hear over the screaming music and louder group. Sena twisted to look up, surprise on his face.

"There's _more food_?" Sena repeated. Shin shrugged.

"Have you seen Kurita, Gaou, and Ootowara eat by themselves?"

"Oh… right," Sena shuddered. He shivered again as a hand ran back his damp, sandy back before Shin walked away.

"Sena, stop staring at your boytoy's backside and help me!"

The runningback sighed, ignoring the blush, and dashed over to the call. A game of beach volleyball, violent and with a scarily competitive aura hovering around it since the main competitors were Gaou and Agon whom had _never_ learned to get along, was underway within half the hour and Kotarou had managed to kick one watermelon while Mamori's back was turned. It ended up smashing one of the very expensive looking speakers connected to the stereo and he'd taken off down the beach while Hiruma had taken out one of his largest automatic machine guns. Even Akaba, who was sitting strumming _his guitar on the beach_ , gave him up for lost. There was so much food there seemed to be a never ending line of new people coming with more, but it disappeared onto plates and into stomachs just as quickly. Kurita had somehow managed to take charge of the grill, with Suzuna running by every now and then to make sure he wasn't secretly taking extra for himself.

Sena stretched out over his blanket with a satisfied groan, finally managing to get out of gophering for his friends.

"Long day having fun, Kobayakawa?" Juumonji joked over a plate of beef kebabs.

"Long day of being Suzuna's mule," Sena corrected. The two old-time friends laughed and the scar-cheeked ex-delinquent handed over a couple of his meat sticks. "Thanks!"

"How's Enma?"

"The usual- busy and fun. I think our team is getting better every week."

"I saw the game last week. It was _impressive_. That guy was half your size. You never could've tackled him in Deimon days."

"Thanks," Sena scratched his cheek and glanced down modestly. "I learned a lot of really good tricks in US."

"And look at these guns. I never thought my little Sena would be so manly," Mamori teased as she sat next to him and squeezed his bicep. He _was_ rather proud of his physique… when it wasn't being hidden under too baggy clothes.

"You're nothing like the first year I met back then," Juumonji agreed with a wry little smirk. Sena shrugged and smiled back.

"You're nothing like the delinquent bully I met back then. We've all changed a lot."

"Yes, I've heard Shin even has a _cell phone number_ now," Mamori chimed in. Juumonji laughed outright.

"How do you know that?"

"Youichi might've found Oujou's updated phone tree," Mamori hedged, biting back a smile.

"Where, in Oujou's locker room?" Sena joked.

"I wouldn't be surprised," Juumonji replied, still laughing.

"I thought I might find you here, Kobayakawa-kun," interjected a quiet, but steady tone. Very unlike the trembling timid voice it'd been years ago.

"Yuki-san," Sena greeted with a grin.

"I brought that information you asked me about. I thought it might be a bad idea to bring to a beach, but I don't see you very often," Yukimitsu said apologetically. Sena got up quickly, startled.

"Oh, wow, that was fast. Thanks, really," Sena breathed, gingerly taking the thumbdrive Yukimitsu handed over.

"It was all very interesting. Once I got started, it was hard to stop. Which means, I'm afraid, there's a lot of extraneous research," the medical student confessed sheepishly.

"What's going on? What research?" Mizumachi asked and he flopped down, munching on a large chunk of what was left of the watermelons.

"It's a very intriguing condition-"

"It's something for class," Sena interrupted firmly, face stern and shutting down any more questions as he slipped the flashdrive into Suzuna's bag. He'd be able to get it back from her at Enma later. The ex-Deimon students gaped at Sena in shock while Mizumachi chewed silently for a second.

"Okay. I don't like homework anyway. Have you guys seen Kakei, yet? He promised to be here forever ago."

"I'm pretty sure he's playing volleyball with Yamato and…" Sena trailed off as they all turned towards the net. Sena felt chills even from this far away. Of course, Shin had finally gone over to play.

And somewhere along the way lost his shirt. Weep over or thank his fortune? Sena couldn't decide. He really really wanted to walk over there and touch _all of that_.

Mizumachi was obviously a dead man walking, because towards the warzone he went, spitting seeds nonchalantly. Juumonji and Yukimitsu started discussing some class they were both taking in their separate universities, and Mamori leaned over.

"How are you and Shin-san doing?" she whispered, one hand cupping the side of her mouth. Sena broke into a grin. "Oh, that good?" she gushed quietly, clapping her hands together.

"Yeah… it's rough sometimes, but then he says something and it's like, all the things I did to mess it up are suddenly gone. It's great."

"I'm happy for you, Sena-kun. I _am_ sorry Suzuna took over your beach idea, but it ended up being such a success. It's not so bad, is it?" Mamori asked, slightly pleading.

"Yeah, it's not so bad. I'm surprised so many showed up, though. I think I even saw Karin-san and Honju-san earlier," Sena said.

"Yes, Taka-kun convinced her to come and bring a couple of her friends. There are so few girls in the group. I'm glad she did. Which reminds me, I better make sure they haven't been scared away. Karin-chan is used to it all, but it's overwhelming all at once like this," Mamori said with evident concern on her face.

"And if anyone could make them feel more at ease, it's you, Mamori-neechan."

She blushed in delight, stooped to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then patted his head. "You will always be my favorite, Sena-kun. Don't forget that we all love you, too. I know you're worried about what it means to be in a relationship, but you're in relationships with all of us,' Mamori told him gently. His eyes widened and the beginnings of guilt creeped up on him.

"Have I been… a bad friend?"

"Oh, no, of course not. But I think your anxiety over being a boyfriend is starting to affect the rest of your relationships. I just wanted to…" Mamori broke off and thoughtfully tapped her mouth. "I just want you to remember that you're a great person, and you shouldn't let what you _think_ is wrong with you _actually_ ruin what you have. With Shin _or_ your friends."

"Oh, okay. I… I get it," Sena murmured with eyes downcast. Mamori swooped down to give him a quick hug.

"You're going to be fine. I know it. You've already come so far in believing in yourself. It'll get easier." Sena wrapped his arms around her shoulders, whispering thanks against the line of her collarbone. She stood back up and brushed off her knees. "However, I think you've done your duty today. When the fireworks start, maybe you can slip away and get that date you wanted," she suggested with a mischievous little wink. Sena sputtered and blushed brightly, but she was already turning away.

Sena leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his knees, watching Mamori go and smiling to himself. Suzuna had been right to force the group day. Like Mamori had just hinted, he'd been focusing so much on trying to make his one relationship with Shin work, that maybe he was beginning to neglect all these other relationships. He couldn't let his insecurities and worries over what it meant to be a boyfriend to mess everything up. He sighed and knocked his forehead against his knee, all too clearly remembering Shin's quiet question over the phone weeks and weeks ago: _am I messing everything up?_ It hadn't been Shin. Shin was just being himself, the same person Sena had been stupidly crazy about for _years_. No, _Sena_ had been the one messing it up, second-guessing himself and… in the process, second-guessing _Shin_. He could almost feel himself slipping into self-pity, but he firmed his jaw.

 _I might not be a great boyfriend, but I can be. I will be. And I won't let my worries ruin what I have with my friends, either. Seijuuro, Mamori-neechan, Riku-kun, Suzuna, Monta-kun… they all deserve better from me. I deserve better from me. I'm not that scared little first year and I haven't been in a long time_.

Sena jumped in surprise as someone fell with a thud next to him. He couldn't help the widening of his eyes when he took in the lanky figure and wild blonde hair. And the machine gun resting on his shoulder.

"Hiruma-san," Sena greeted.

"I got tired of dealing with fucking morons," Hiruma explained apropos of nothing, then blew a lazy gum bubble.

"Am… Am I supposed to feel complimented?" Sena blurted in confusion. Hiruma scoffed a laugh and leaned back on his hands.

"You're still pretty stupid, but you're a hell of a lot more bearable than fucking dreads right now."

"I thought you two were friends?"

"Only when I want to get someone else bloody," Hiruma corrected nonchalantly. Sena sweatdropped, blue-faced and grimacing.

"You… you mean on the field…?"

"Sure, there too."

Sena burst into startled laughter and dropped his forehead to his knees.

"You should be out there running around. Isn't that what you fucking shrimps do?"

"Yeah, I'm just resting for a bit. Are you worried about me?" Sena gasped, head jerking up so fast he felt whiplash-dizzy.

"I thought I said I was sick of morons today?"

"R-right, sorry," Sena stammered, mostly to hide the grin growing on his face. Hiruma's eyebrow arched, but he didn't turn to actually look at Sena.

"You're about to be the next target if you don't get the hell out of my face, fucking shrimp. In 3, 2…"

"All right, all right, I'm going!" Sena exclaimed, scrambling to his feet. Behind him, the Kid took his spot and smirked under his hat.

"I hate that fucking smirk."

"I wasn't sayin' anything."

Sunset burned the world orange and pink and the giant crate of fireworks appeared out of the thin air. Everyone was crowding together on and around the towels, the emotions ranging from anxious to excited at the sheer amount of dangerous looking explosives in Agon's control. Hiruma, they were used to seeing with explosives. Agon was an unpredictable, violent guy _without_ a box full of fireworks to help out.

"Maybe we should stand back some more?" Monta whispered to Sena nervously.

"Maybe a couple kilometers back," Sena muttered back. Monta snickered.

"I'm sure they're in complete control," Shin said from Sena's side. Both of the shorties yelped and jumped away, arms flailing.

" _Is he a ninja_?" Monta accused a little shrilly.

Shin raised an eyebrow, arms crossed. "You weren't paying attention."

"I think I might've had a tiny heart-attack," Sena muttered, hand pressed to his heart as he wheezed slightly. "Did you have a good game?" he asked when he got his heart beat back under control. Shin nodded.

"It's not as enjoyable as amefuto, but I'd been able to practice my Trident Tackle effectively."

Sena and Monta stared at him, mirror images of confusion.

"There's… no tackling in volleyball," Sena pointed out slowly. Shin huffed.

"There is with Gaou playing."

Sena and Monta sweated slightly. "Hey, I'm gonna go see if there's any drinks left. Did you want me to bring you one?" Monta offered after shaking his head briskly.

"Uh, no, I'm fine," Sena replied. Shin shook his head as well. Monta thumbed his nose with a grin and sauntered out, both hands in his back pockets. Sena exhaled and shoved his hands in his trunks' pockets. "It was fun, right? You had fun?"

"Yes, I did. I heard today was mostly your idea?"

"Ha, well, yes and no," Sena chuckled. "Suzuna took over and it became _this_. I was planning a date."

Shin blinked, startled, and met Sena's rueful gaze. "A date? This was supposed to be a date? With all these people?"

"No, I mean, I was planning a date, and Suzuna decided that a date on the beach wouldn't be as much fun as a _party_ on the beach. She was right. This was a whole lot more fun than the ideas I had." Sena laughed quietly and scratched his cheek again.

"I would have liked it," the linebacker responded sincerely. Sena smiled gratefully.

"I know you would have. You're… no, I'm not gonna do the compare thing. Just… you go out of your way to enjoy whatever we do together, even if it's uncomfortable for you, or something you normally wouldn't. I made a big deal about us 'messing up' this dating thing, but… really I was the only one messing up, and I've _been_ messing up. I wanted… I wanted to say I'm _sorry_. For, you know, throwing my insecurities on you like that," Sena quickly told Shin sheepish and apologetic. "Mamori-neechan and I talked and I realized she was right. I shouldn't be so hard on myself about this, because it's going to really hurt the people I care about, just as much as it's gonna hurt me. Whatever we do, and however we do it, it's the right way to do it. Right?" Sena winced a little at the obscurity of his question.

"If you're asking me if I agree you should be less worried about how you should act, then _right_. I don't like it when you're critical of yourself. There's no need to compare yourself to anyone, especially me, and consider yourself… _less_ ," Shin concurred in a resolute, inarguable tone. Sena swayed just close enough to bump their arms together.

"The ice cream wasn't a total bust, was it?" he teased shyly. Shin looked down at Sena's upturned face and- _there_ Sena thought in satisfaction- his hint of a smile softened his stern features.

"No, it wasn't. It won't be happening again for another four months," he added. Sena flailed.

"What!? But it'll be _winter_ by then!"

"It was too much of an indulgence. Maybe only twice a year."

"Ice cream only twice a year!" Sena burst into laughter. A sharp whistle cut off his laughter and had him stumbling back against Shin's side just before the crack-BOOM of the first firework went off. "I really need more warnings for things like this!"

"Do you not like them?"

"No, I do. They're fun," Sena said with a shake of his head. He blinked as an arm wrapped around his waist.

"I like them, too."

Sena let himself sag a little bit more against Shin's broader, taller frame and they turned their faces upwards to watch the show. If he ignored the shouts and wild mix of people around them, it was almost like that date Sena had wanted. Only better, because it'd begun with a day full of friends and ending with a free firework show. Definitely better than anything he could've cooked up alone. And you know what?

It wasn't that bad admitting it. He'd never liked being a loner, anyway.

5.

The last of college finals had ended just a week ago and it was officially summer vacation. Originally, Sena thought he'd be spending this time anxiously twitching away the hours waiting for his exam results, and final grades, to come in. It was the end of his first semester in college, after all. However, the day after he'd moved all his things back into his parents while the dorms closed, Shin had made plans. He really wasn't the kind of person to wait around for something he was already sure the results of (Sena was _not_ sure of his grades, and he envied Shin his certainty). It hadn't been that hard to convince him to give it up and go on a day trip. Well, day _and_ night trip.

Sena blushed at the thought but kept his pace steady. Shin was next to him, completely oblivious to the apprehension in Sena's mind.

A whole night with Shin. Completely alone. On _Mount Fuji_.

Because that was Shin's plan: hiking up Mt. Fuji to show Sena something he'd found his very first summer of training on the mountain. He'd come back every year since, running up and down the peak, breaking his records or finding new paths. (Or getting lost and having to fight wild boars, Sakuraba had confided.) Shin had been mysteriously silent on the subject of just _what_ he wanted to show Sena, specifically, and even Sakuraba wasn't sure if he knew. Suzuna and Monta had made devious little smirks and kissy faces behind Shin's back, laughing silently when Shin had gotten concerned over Sena's flusters and flounders.

 _There's no way Seijuuro is using that kind of… of_ euphemism _. He's too literal and…_ And.

And they hadn't done more than kiss. Shin's hands had never really touched below his _neckline_ except to touch his waist a few times. He hadn't kissed anywhere but Sena's cheek or mouth. Never tried to press too close, never slid a sneaky hand past a hemline to search out bare skin. The only times Shin had ever taken any clothes off in front of Sena, it was a usually a shirt and in a completely innocent situation, like at the beach the weekend before.

Sena was stuck in a painful purgatory of: _I want to ask my boyfriend about sex, but I DON'T want to ask my boyfriend about sex!_ It didn't help just yesterday, on a long overdue Skype with Emily from US, she'd suggested that _maybe_ Shin might be a little ace. Which had created a new kind of purgatory of: _is my boyfriend ace and how do I ask without sounding like a jerk or sex-crazed pervert?!_

Worrying about how bad he is at _dates_ was actually easier than this. Speaking about dates, he was about to ruin this one if he stuck himself inside his head all day. The runningback shook his head, hard, and refocused on the situation at hand. Which was jogging, not really running, up the side of Mt. Fuji while the heavy, humid air grew thinner. Like every other time he ran, though, not even the climate could keep him down. He picked up his pace to be more even with Shin- who'd pulled ahead by a pace or two, with his long legs eating up more ground naturally while Sena pondered nervously- and racked his mind for a topic.

"My parents want me to invite you to dinner," Sena pretty much vomited the words desperately. And then almost vomited for _real,_ because he _hadn't meant to say that_.

"Good, when?" was the simple reply back.

 _Good?_ "Good?"

Shin looked over at him in confusion. "You didn't tell them to invite me?"

"No! I knew we talked about it, but I thought it was an _eventual_ thing. We've barely been dating four months."

"You don't think I should meet your parents? I was given the impression four months is a long time for a relationship," Shin inquired with a deepening scowl. "A classmate used profanity when I mentioned the duration. He also insinuated I was insane."

"Really? Why?"

"…his personal preferences colored his opinion of mine. It's a non-issue."

Sena narrowed in eyes in confusion.

"Is four months not a long time to you?" Shin asked after a subtle clearing of his throat.

"No, I mean, yeah. It… it really is. It just went by so fast, I guess I just didn't really notice. We're both so busy, and live so far apart, so that doesn't exactly help. We don't get to see each other every day like some couples do. It'd probably feel like that if we did. See each other every day, I mean, it would feel like a lot longer time if I saw you more often," Sena tried to explain and talking himself into a circle.

"I understand. That…wasn't a complaint?"

"No, I like our relationship, even if I can't see you for a whole two weeks sometimes. At least you haven't broken your phone so we can talk more often."

"I could start coming back to run with you in the mornings again?" Shin offered attentively.

"Oh, no! I meant it when I told you you shouldn't do that anymore! It's time consuming and wastes your money taking the subway almost every day! Maybe we can take turns, once or twice a week, meeting up to run in the mornings, instead of you doing it alone every single day," Sena suggested contemplatively. Shin's tense face relaxed into a Shin-style smile.

"I would like that. I saw the wisdom in your argument, but I miss running with you. I also don't like the idea that maybe we're not spending enough time together."

Sena grinned. "We're spending all the time together we want to, and that's enough. More would be nice, too, but not if it puts a strain on either of us. _And_ we're running now. Wanna race a little bit? My legs are about to take off without me," he joked.

As if Shin could imagine it, he barked a short, rough laugh that had Sena gaping. "Let's see if you can keep up. This isn't the gridiron," Shin taunted with a glimmer in his eye. Without warning, he darted ahead.

"Hey! Cheating!" Sena yelped, before exploding forward.

It _was_ harder to run while going upwards and the air thinned, and while wearing shoes heavier than his usual cleats or sneakers. The hiking boots were also relatively new. He'd worn them a couple days in US, when he'd gone to the Grand Canyon to hike and sight-see with a group of football players, but they were still pretty new and awkwardly stiff because of it. He was fast enough, and his stamina high enough, that he was able to catch up to Shin after getting the hang of his stride, though. He was grinning as they wove around bushes and trees, meeting each other pace for pace. Sena actually had an extra step for every one of Shin's, just to keep up with the longer-legged stride, but he'd always been able to account for that. When they finally paused for a breather, the sun had mostly set on the other side of the mountain and the path had opened up into a clearing. Sena braked at the edge of the tall grass, bent over, hands on his knees, flushed and sweaty and gasping past his wide-mouthed grin. Shin was much in the same state and Sena felt that embarrassing curl of heat in his stomach that he'd been getting since the freeze-tag date and breathtaking kiss. That Shin hadn't repeated and Sena had been too shy to start.

His eyes took in the flush on Shin's cheeks, the sweat dripping down his jaw to the line of his throat, and Sena had to gulp down whatever noise was trying to force its way out. Just how much longer would his timidity win out over the _want_ he couldn't ignore anymore?

"We have about an hour left to get there," Shin informed Sena, catapulting him out of his humiliatingly perverted thoughts. Only to have them crash back down when the taller man pulled up the bottom of his shirt to wipe at his face.

 _Absabsabsabs_ Sena mantra'd internally and feeling _very dizzy_.

"Y-yeah?" Sena squeaked, licking at his dry lips and turning away. Unlike the unself-conscious _specimen of perfection_ next to him, Sena just rubbed his face against the shoulder of his Danskin Notre Dame shirt. It didn't work as well as cotton would, but it dried a whole lot faster.

"It's too high to sleep up there, though. We can camp out here and run the rest of the way in the morning," Shin said, striding into the shin-high grass. Sena ran a hand through his sweaty hair, mentally scolded himself, and then trudged through the path Shin made.

"Is this where you came with the Knights? Back in high school?"

"Not quite. We stayed more in the woods and didn't normally camp up here over night. We tried to return to the city every evening."

"Oh, right, the point was to go up and then go back down every day. That's _crazy_."

"My coach told me about the Death March. That wasn't exactly _sane_ , either," Shin pointed out wryly. Sena laughed brokenly.

"It really wasn't. But I met Suzuna and Taki-san, and fixed my run," Sena said brightly.

"You learned how to do the Devil Bat Ghost because of that training," Shin nodded.

"Yeah, who knew a tiny rock could do so much!"

Shin stared at him uncomprehendingly.

"So, uh, where do we set up?"

The stare continued, just as perplexed. Sena sweated lightly.

"The tent? Sleeping bags?" he eyed Shin's pack. Shin had promised he'd have everything they would need, so Sena's pack was pretty empty, an extra change of clothes and some emergency supplies, plus plenty of water and the electronic GPS he refused to let Shin have. He might've gotten better with his ancient phone, but Sena knew Shin's limits technologically pretty well; the GPS was definitely beyond those limits.

"Why do we need a tent?" Shin asked. Sena chuckled cautiously, sure he wasn't serious.

"You're j-joking… no, no you're really not joking," he corrected when Shin shook his head. He slapped a hand over his face. "What about the bugs? Or, you know, the _elements_?" he exclaimed, arm wheeling through the air to gesture to everything.

"The forecast was clear skies. Bug bites are easy to ignore."

Sena was very close to old-man-face-deadpanning at that.

"Sleeping bags?" Sena sighed desperately and expecting a couple burlap sacks in answer.

Instead, Shin opened up his pack and pulled out a neatly rolled up sleeping bag. He shook it out, revealing it was actually pretty large and thick, comfortable looking and brand-new. It was a shiny dark red with a yellow cloth liner inside. He blinked in surprise.

"Oh, that's actually really nice. Is it for me? Because it's kinda big, you didn't have to get me a brand-new one," Sena told him, albeit with a relieved smile. Much better than a burlap sack.

"Of course it's too big for you. It's for us. The package said it fits two," Shin stated as he stomped down an area of grass and laid the bag out neatly.

Sena stiffened, face frozen, and a loud cracking sound echoed in his head. _It fits two it fits two it fits two IT FITS TWO._ "W-We're n-not even g-gonna _talk_ , j-just… just like that?" Sena stuttered, shaking so hard his knees knocked. Shin frowned over at him in baffled concern.

"Talk about using a sleeping bag? I thought you wanted one. Do you prefer just sleeping on the grass? I don't mind it-"

"N-No, I m-mean about sharing the same sleeping bag!" Sena interjected squeakily. The frown just got more confounded.

"It seemed the most efficient method since you didn't have one."

Sena realized with blinding clarity that _Shin was completely and totally guilelessly innocent_ of anything pervy or- or sexual _at all_. It hadn't even been a _factor_. It had been about ease and economy, about efficiency. And while just two seconds ago, he'd almost been out of his mind with nerves and something like terror with the idea that sex was suddenly on the horizon, _now_ he was… disappointed? Frustrated? Upset? That his boyfriend, a twenty-one-old God-turned-human-level of hot guy, who kissed Sena _breathless,_ didn't think of him sexually. The idea of sharing a sleeping bag had been completely… _platonic_.

Yeah, Sena probably wasn't ready to… to _go all the way_ , but this weird place between not knowing if it were even on the table and knowing that he _really wanted_ _it_ on the table in the future was… it was _painful_. And Shin was just looking over at him looking worried and _confused_. The eighteen-year-old pulled himself together and pasted a wide, convincing smile on his face.

"Y-You're right. It makes a lot of sense. I'm glad you didn't spend too much money on me, too," Sena agreed brightly as he made his way, a little woodenly, towards Shin. His boyfriend's face instantly eased and Sena was honestly glad he'd white-lied. Shin didn't deserve to look so worried over something he couldn't help, and it wasn't even _bad_. It was kinda… sweet. No one likes the guy that only cares about sex, or springs surprise-consentless-guilt-trip sex on them in a remote location. Of course Shin wouldn't have done that to Sena. He settled on the ground next to Shin, who was rummaging in his bag again, and reached over. Shin lifted his head to gaze over at Sena, who had placed his hand on Shin's knee and squeezed affectionately. The dark-eyed gaze was one Sena had come to think as _his_ \- a subtle mix of pleased and fond on a face that would've looked blank to anyone else. Because no one else could see how soft and warm his features had become as Shin looked at Sena.

"I have some jerky, dried fruit, and granola, with extra raisins," Shin revealed his haul with a flourish, seemingly very proud about that last bit.

"Extra raisins?" Sena repeated, eyebrows rising.

"They're kinda sweet. I thought you'd like it," Shin explained, nudging the large bag over. Sena laughed.

"Yeah, it's great. I have some stuff, too. I made sure it was all healthy and Shin-approved."

"You do that," Shin said, frowning again as Sena dug into his supplies. Monta had snuck in a couple bananas. Under them, was a little baggy with Suzuna's handwriting and a smiley face- _Just in case you two get frisky_. Sena slapped the bag to the ground, cheeks flushing, and looked back to Shin.

"D-Do what?"

"Call me Shin. You still do that."

"Oh. Uh, habit? I still usually think of you as Shin. I've been practicing saying your name even if you're not there, to my friends or my parents, but it's… you were Shin-san for so long," Sena explained with a self-conscious little shrug. Shin nodded pensively. Taking it as his cue, the runningback went back for more rations.

Beside him, Shin shifted and suddenly they were sitting so close Sena could feel the heat of the linebacker's body, from knee to hip, and shoulders brushing. As he squeezed a bag of rice-and-seaweed crackers in his hand, Shin's arm settled just behind him, creating a long line of warmth right down his spine.

"D-Do you l-like mangoes?" Sena squeaked, careful not to move.

"I think so. I got dried apples and blueberries."

They continued on in a hushed conversation, sharing their food and sipping at electrolyte-enriched water. They found out that Shin did not like mangoes, he _loved_ them. To the point the entire bag of dried mango was gone after Sena had had only one piece. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew what that yellow ice cream was. The entire time, Shin remained close enough to touch. Just as Sena was getting sleepy, and the twilight an inky-blue only broken by the small electric torch Sena had brought, the first one appeared.

It winked in front of him, and at first Sena thought he was seeing things. Then, one by one, they gathered. Blinking and wobbling over the grass around them, fireflies glowed. Sena mouth curved into a surprised 'oh', eyes wide and delighted. One little firefly wavered just in front of them in a lazy flight completely heedless of human interlopers.

"Wow! Is this why you brought me here?" Sena breathed in a startled rush.

"No, I thought you'd prefer this over the dirt in the woods. There are boars in there. I haven't seen a boar over here, though," Shin explained. "What are you talking about?"

"The _fireflies_ , Seijuuro! They're amazing! I haven't seen so many in one place. Not this close to Tokyo!" Sena exclaimed.

"They're insects. Their bodies emit light due to a chemical reaction called bioluminescence-" Shin recited slowly with clear bewilderment. Sena rolled his eyes and clicked the torch off. He then grabbed Shin's shoulder and yanked him down. Shin grunted in surprise, staring up towards the sky, Sena laid out next to him. He glanced over, eyes slightly wider, as Sena grabbed his hand and grinned.

"Just wait a moment, ssshh," Sena whispered. They lay side by side, staring up and breathing almost in time, until, finally, Sena let out a small 'aha'. With them hiding now just below the height of the grass, the fireflies began to fly over them. Little winking lights in swaying, wobbling lines. "They're kinda like stars this way, right? Mamori-neechan showed me this once, a long time ago. There weren't as many then, either. Just look up at the sky and pretend that the fireflies are stars that you can reach out and touch."

Shin frowned in confusion, the facts and logic warring with Sena's softly-spoken awe. Until, finally, Shin could see it.

"When I came here that first year," Shin started, voice gentle and hushed, as if to avoid ruining the atmosphere around them. "I thought it was really good. I was able to become stronger and faster, and I kept thinking, 'when I face him on the field again, we'll both be improved. We'll meet each other for the Christmas Bowl and it'll be a battle worth fighting'."

"I thought so, too. Whenever I wasn't scared of dying on the March, anyway."

"It's better this way."

"Huh?" Sena turned on his side, eyes lingering over the strong, clean lines of Shin's face, lit up and shadowed beautifully under the flickering glow of the fireflies. Shin slowly turned his head to meet Sena's gaze.

"It's better with you here. I got stronger and faster, but I didn't learn to see something new. I saw insects emitting a chemical reaction. I didn't see stars, not without you."

Sena's heart thudded and stopped as his stomach swooped like on a roller coaster.

"Oh, I think I love you," Sena whispered. His eyes widened and he sat up, heart racing faster than his feet on the gridiron. "I d-d-d- I sh-shouldn't h-h-have-" With a stifled shriek, Sena was yanked back down, much like he'd done to Shin earlier, only _he_ landed on Shin's chest.

"You're not scared of me, remember?" Shin murmured. Sena bit down on his tongue and nodded mutely. "Good."

Looking down at Shin's face, neither frowning nor smiling, just gazing steadily, unashamedly back, Sena wondered why it didn't hurt Shin hadn't said it in return. He could panic over bad dates and to-be-or-not-to-be sexual encounters (which sounded like a sci-fi Shakespeare porn…what was wrong with his brain?), but he didn't panic over _this_. Whatever Shin felt, whether it was just _like_ or something like _love_ , it didn't matter. Shin wouldn't be looking at Sena _like that_ , wouldn't be lying here undaunted by Sena's thoughtless confession, if his feelings weren't just as important and special. Sena couldn't be scared of Shin, not even about this.

Sena braced his hands on Shin's chest and leaned down, tentatively brushing his lips over Shin's cheek, down the bridge of his nose.

"That's not how it works," Shin muttered, voice gravelly.

"Mhm," Sena agreed absently. He placed a tiny kiss to the side of Shin's mouth, but moved away when he felt Shin shift towards him. Instead, the next swipe of lips was up Shin's jaw, the faint scratch of stubble- too short and faint to even be seen- tickled his mouth and had him grinning. He didn't know Shin even _had_ stubble. Shin's hands descended to his hips, and Sena wanted to melt into the touch.

Then vertigo had him gasping aloud in confusion. The world spun and Sena was flat on his back looking up into amused brown eyes.

"What was that for?" Sena wheezed, breathless by the sudden motion and the urge to laugh.

"You were too slow," Shin scowled.

Apparently he was too slow to ask what that meant, because he was cut off before he could try. Not that he was complaining. He slipped his arms around Shin's waist, eagerly returning every press of the taller man's lips. The build up to something more intimate didn't even take long, the thrust of Shin's tongue past parted lips startling Sena into gasping. He followed Shin's lead, feeling almost feverish and desperate, fingers digging into the curve of Shin's waist. Kissing like this always looked so gross and weird when he was a spectator—like at a movie—but being a participant was completely different. He didn't really care that his lips got damp and slippery, or what his tongue looked like when it slid along Shin's or thrust into his mouth. He didn't care about the weird almost slurping noises or the gasping, shallow breaths that sounded embarrassingly needy. Shin shifted above him, putting more weight on his knees so he could drag his hands up and down Sena's sides, the slick material of his sports' shirt bunching and catching against the roughness of Shin's palms. When it dragged up too high, and the firm caress of his hands met the bare skin of Sena's belly, a shudder worked its way down the teen's spine. His hands left Shin's torso and reached up to bury in that spiky, messy hair as he pulled himself up using his stomach muscles, barely realizing in conscious thought how he fought to get closer.

Shin broke away, and Sena let out a wordless protest even as his chest heaved to replace breaths he'd forgotten to take. It took Sena much too long to feel Shin shivering (… _shaking?)_ against him, face buried in the crook of Sena's shoulder and neck. He nosed at the hinge of Shin's jaw and ran his fingers through black hair, fingers stroking where it was short and fine on the back of his neck.

"Seijuuro?" Sena murmured quietly.

"Just… just a second."

"We're not gonna stop already?" Sena objected, pulling far enough away to meet Shin's eyes—only he couldn't, because they were squeezed tightly shut. "Hey, you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, I… forgot to breathe," he definitely sounded breathless, voice tight and rough. Sena laughed and pressed a kiss to his neck, dragging his lips down the hot, smooth expanse of it.

"Me, too. I think we can practice breathing through our noses or something. You do wanna keep… practicing, right?" Sena asked haltingly, the uncertainty of his internal musings much earlier that day coming back to him.

" _Yes_ ," came the empathic, gravelly answer.

He could feel the rapid beating of Shin's heart where their chests pressed together, the slow expanding as he took a shuddering deep breath. One hand moved from under Sena's shirt, and he frowned, shivering hard in the wake of too-cool night air on his skin. It shouldn't feel that cold during the summer. It _hadn't_ felt that cold. Distraction came in the form of Shin's hand cupping the back of his head. Sena readily let Shin guide him back into another mind-blurring kiss. The hand that remained under his shirt, just below his ribs, was rigid and unmoving, and Sena wondering if maybe Shin was unsure what to do with it. He wasn't exactly an expert (re: _at all_ ), but he knew what he _wanted_. He reached down to grasp Shin's wrist. It was strangely tense under his hand, tendons standing out under his fingers.

"'skay," Sena mumbled into Shin's mouth, sucking the linebacker's bottom lip into his mouth experimentally, cautiously, and deciding he loved the plush feel of it under the tentative press of his teeth.

He wanted to grin in triumph at the groan that sounded ripped from the depth of Shin's throat and the renewed fervor of his mouth. The ground thudded against his back, but no space separated their torso. Sena was pinned, _covered_ , by Shin's heavier, taller body over his. He hummed appreciatively as Shin finally moved his hand, up his ribcage too firmly to be ticklish. His arms settled around Shin's neck, fingertips digging into the wings of his shoulder blades and his hips arched up unthinkingly. He only met air and he somehow managed to whine and growl in frustration, unsure what he was searching for. Lips broke apart and Sena gasped into the humid air as Shin slid his mouth down Sena's jaw with the same maddeningly slow pace his hand was making up and down his torso. Tilting his head back and to the side, neck baring to Shin's mouth, Sena gasped into the sleeping bag. The feel of damp lips and the edge of teeth had Sena quaking, one hand digging into the meat of Shin's shoulder harder while the other smoothed down Shin's chest. The tantalizing line of teeth against his throat abruptly became a blunt, startling pressure into the thin skin above his pulse point. The sharp wordless shout tore from him, and his chin tipped back farther, bowing his neck up into the suction of Shin's mouth. It was as if his mouth, his teeth and tongue, was connected to a burning pit low in Sena's belly. His feet scrambled over the slick cotton liner, fighting to get his legs… _somewhere_. Hands gripped his hips and gently pushed _down_ , _away_ , and Sena suddenly realized his eyes were wide open, staring at the night sky. He blinked rapidly to alleviate the itchy, too dry feeling.

With a low, throaty groan Shin rolled away, thumping onto his back as he threw his arm over his eyes. Sena slowly turned his head, breath still too quick and blood too hot just under his skin. The muscle in Shin's jaw pulled taut and his Adam's apple worked rapidly as he swallowed repeatedly.

"S-Seijuuro?" Vaguely, Sena could hear the slur of his voice, the lower register and vibrating purr of it that he'd never heard before. At the sound, Shin's hand by his side knotted into a white-knuckled fist.

"I need another moment." The statement shot like a bullet, almost _furiously_.

Sena's eyes widened as he paled. The heat that had been pooled so seductively in his belly cooled too fast.

"Did I do something wrong? Something _bad_?" Sena demanded, pushing himself up on his hands.

"No-" Shin dropped the arm off his face and turned his face just enough to look over at him. Whatever he'd been able to say caught in his throat, leaving his mouth parted and his eyes wider than usual as they darted over Sena's face until they stopped and stuck somewhere below Sena's chin. " _No_ , Sena." It was hoarse, but adamant.

Sena felt the horror of his believed poor actions ebb away. Narrowing his eyes in confusion, he swept his gaze over Shin's face. There was still a light pink flush over his cheeks and ears- endearingly so- and his pupils were blown so wide his eyes glittered onyx… but maybe that was just the poor lighting. There was only the moon- and star-light edging the world in pale silver and it made the sharp planes of his face softer and beautiful, his lips shiny and flushed a dark pink. He was always frowning so much, Sena never noticed just how perfect his mouth looked until now. He'd noticed the smiles, but never really the shape of the lips.

"Is it… was the…" Sena looked away bashfully, unknowingly pouting. "It was the sound wasn't it? I made it weird."

He missed the flare of Shin's nostrils and the flattening of his mouth into a tight line. Though, if he had seen it, he might've considered it _anger_ rather than what it was. "It wasn't weird. You did nothing wrong." Shin gritted back, barely managing to sound calmly reassuring.

"You're sure?" Sena queried, mouth twisting up to the side and nose scrunching slightly in disbelief.

"Yes, I'm sure." There was brooking no argument with that tone, and Sena's shoulders slumped with relief. When he opened his mouth again, Shin quickly added, "I don't want to clarify just now." Sena frowned, puzzled. "You did nothing wrong, and when it's a different time, I'll talk to you about it. Just… not now. Trust me."

Sena deflated with a wry smile. "I've never _not_ trusted you. I guess I shouldn't start now. If you're sure I didn't…?" Shin shook his head and Sena shrugged. "All right. I thought we weren't keeping secrets, though?"

"It's not a secret. Not really. I'm just not willing to say it _yet_."

"That sounds kinda like a secret," Sena laughed. He moved to lay back down and froze, frowning again. "Is it okay to touch you?"

Shin's eyes slipped closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Clarify yourself, please," he ordered tightly.

"Huh? _Oh, no, not-"_ Sena gesticulated wildly, face beet-red. "I meant, if I lay down next to you, or put my head on your shoulder, or maybe, like, a kiss on the cheek or something! Nothing- uh, I get it, that you wanna- uh, stop?"

The linebacker huffed and sat up. "Yeah, that's fine. But we should probably sleep. Do you need to change clothes or take off that shirt? It's going to be hot in the sleeping bag and I already run hot without it," Shin warned. Sena bit his lip thinking as Shin glared at the sleeping bag with a sudden ferocity.

"I think I'll keep it on, less skin for the bugs. And I like sleeping with extra blankets anyway," Sena decided.

"Do… do you mind if I take mine off?" Shin asked through his teeth. Sena blinked.

"Yeah, of course. You just said you ran hot, right?"

With a short, single jerk of his chin for a nod, Shin grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head in a swift smooth motion. _Absabsabs- déjà vu?_

"We have to wake up early enough to see it," Shin said, ambiguously.

With a mouth so dry he could probably spit sand, Sena managed to work his mouth into words, "See it?"

"In the morning." Shin lay back down, one hand under his head and the other one beckoning.

Sena paused, eying Shin's face to make sure he wasn't 'secretly' actually mad, before curling up against Shin's side and laying his head in the perfect hollow below his collarbone. He sat back up again, grinning at the amused quirk of Shin's eyebrow, and placed a chaste, hasty kiss to the side of Shin's mouth. The older of the two cupped a broad hand around the back of Sena's head, where neck curved into skull, and pressed their lips together. It was still chaste, but it lingered… sweetly. There was no other way to describe it. Sweet, slow, and reassuring. They shared a soft sigh when Sena pulled away and brushed the tips of their noses together.

"You're going to wake me up ridiculously early, aren't you?" Sena breathed, eyes still closed and nose still nudging.

"I knew you weren't stupid."

Sena laughed brightly and slumped down to lay his head once more in the place seemingly made just for him to fit like a puzzle piece. Shin's arm wrapped around his upper back, hefting Sena further onto the wide expanse of his bare chest. Sena pressed his face to Shin's warm skin, uselessly trying to hide a grin the taller man could surely feel.

When he woke, Shin was no longer under him though the plush expanse of satiny cotton was still warm. The hand on his shoulder gave away Shin's current location before Sena started to worry.

"'s sdill dar'," Sena slurred, nuzzling his face further into the sleeping bag. It smelled like Shin. It was a really nice smell and he nuzzled a little more.

"It's supposed to be dark. It's about an hour from dawn."

"I hade 'oo," Sena groaned.

"I'm positive you said opposite a few hours ago."

Sena groaned louder and stuffed his face into the sleeping bag. Maybe if he smothered himself into unconsciousness Shin would take his protests seriously.

"I will carry you like a baby if you don't get up now," Shin threatened. One eye popped open and he glared poisonously up at Shin's dark silhouette.

"You will not. I will bite you. Until you _bleed_ ," Sena snarled waspishly. Shin reared away, clearly taken aback.

"…Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I know who are, _Shin Seijuuro_. I thought we decided _I'm not stupid_ ," Sena pushed himself up and rubbed at his face. He yawned, arms stretching over his head, and sluggishly blinked up at Shin. Then, slumped right back over, asleep between one blink and the next.

The tentative shaking of his shoulder woke him and he groaned. "Why dark?" he whined.

"…it's only been a second."

"A se'ond since wha?" Sena yawned as he sat up rubbing his eyes. He smiled dopily up at Shin. He looked… _very concerned_. "Izzit gon' rain?" Sena tipped his head too far back to look up, almost toppling backwards.

"No. It's time to go."

"Eh? Now? Wha time izzit?" Sena groaned, rubbing his face more firmly.

"…" Shin squinted at Sena's bleary face. "An hour before dawn."

"Ugh, I hate you."

"You said that…"

"Wha? No, I didn't! When?" Sena exclaimed in confusion.

Shin looked just as bewildered.

"You don't remember it at all, do you?" he said apropos of nothing.

"Remember _what_? Why are you looking at me like that? Are you going to tell me where we're going now?" Sena rattled off as he jerked his bag towards himself and grabbed his second set of clean sports' clothes.

"… I'll go wait for you to get dressed."

"Hey! What's with the Man of Mystery act?" Sena shouted at his back. He frowned while watching Shin shaking his head and rubbing at his face.

Shin led them on an easy jog, his weird non-answers and enigmatic questions put to the side. The air got even thinner and Sena was panting a little too hard to compensate. Even Shin's breath was a little more ragged, but he wasn't quite as bad as Sena. Thanks to his regular returns, he acclimated quickly and pulled ahead.

"C-Come on. I can barely see and it's harder to breathe. You could slow down a _little_ bit," Sena muttered wearily under his breath. What was left of it.

He broke through the tree line to see Shin standing still and he guiltily blushed with shame. Shin hadn't been meant to hear that. But when Sena reached his side, Shin merely wrapped an arm around Sena's shoulder, rubbing his hand up and down the curve of it.

"This is it?" Sena asked curiously. He turned and blanched at the sheer dropoff in front of them. The height, and most likely the sea of trees below, was hidden in a dark grey fog that was slowly lightening as the sun begin to break over the horizon. Just before the fog dissipated, Sena's breath caught as he realized that they were facing _east_ and just what he was about to witness.

Sunlight tore through the fog and shined like a beacon over the dark curve of the world. It lit the sky a breathtaking blue and rays of light golden and so brightly pale it seemed white. The clouds gilded gold and what was left of the fog shimmered like a veil over the shaggy-forested sides of Mount Fuji and still managed to blur the distant city. They were only two people in the entire world watching the sun shake off the night. He stepped to the side and pressed close to Shin without a word, wonder and awe on his face. He'd seen plenty of beautiful things, seen a dozen amazing sights across USA and Japan while playing amefuto. He hoped, though, they never stopped taking his breath away.

"I found this while alone. I don't even know if my coach, or any of my other Oujou teammates, ever saw it. When I thought about coming back this year, for my usual summer training, I remembered this and knew you would like it."

Sena glanced up with a soft, and probably utterly besotted, smile.

"Yeah, you were right. I guess I can wake up early to see it again someday."

"Only if you bring your own alarm," Shin deadpanned.

"What are you talking about?" Sena exclaimed.

+1

Six months.

 _Six_ months.

Six _months_.

 _Six whole months_.

Sena stared at his phone, eyes wide and jaw somewhere around his ankles. No matter how long he stared, or how crossed his eyes got, the text didn't change.

 **[From: Seijuuro] Tomorrow we'll have been dating six months. Meet me at your parents' house, if possible.**

First of all, _what? Six months?_ How does Seijuuro _remember_ this every friggin time?! And how come Sena _always_ forgets?

Second of all, _six months!?_

Third of all, his parents' house? They'd already done the family dinner thing, a few times actually because Sena's parents _adored_ Shin. Well, his mom did. His dad was still 50/50 on being terrified and being super impressed with everything Shin did. His own dad hero-worshipped his boyfriend, which was uncomfortable to think about too long, since that's how Sena's crush started…

Fourth of all, _six months_. _Whoa_.

" _Riku-kun! I need your help!_ " Sena bellowed, racing into their dorm room.

Riku started in his chair, hands slamming on his computer keyboard. They were, of course, rooming again. Which Monta was bitterly pissed about. He hadn't been able to room with Kurita and was stuck with Taki. Monta was also absolutely baffled, to this day, how Riku had managed to trick him into giving up the fight. Sena was already planning on pitching an off-campus apartment deal once Monta could be in the same room with Riku without growling.

It might be a while because Taki was not improving his mood. At all.

"What the hell, Sena? I almost control-a-deleted this entire essay!" Riku exclaimed in outraged surprise.

"It's six months. It's been six months _tomorrow_. A whole _half a year_ , and I forgot. And Seijuuro wants to meet at my parents'. Oh my god, is he going to propose?!" Sena shrieked, phone clattering to his feet as his hands went numb.

The meaning of the shrieking panic visibly processed behind Riku's cerulean eyes a few beats behind. They widened slightly in understanding before he deadpanned in disgust at Sena.

"Calm your tits."

"That's a really vulgar thing to say," Sena blurted, nose twisting up in distaste. Riku snorted.

"He's not going to propose. Last I heard you haven't even had sex yet-"

"He might be saving it until marriage! Or maybe even asexual!" Sena protested, wringing his hands. Riku actually looked startled for a second.

"Huh, he could be ace. At least a little," he murmured pensively. He shook his head, ivory hair falling over his eyes. "No, wait, not the point. Ace or not, he wouldn't propose in front of your parents without _discussing_ it with _you_ first."

Sena blinked, but couldn't logically refute that. Which meant Shin probably wasn't going to. "Okay, true. Oh thank god," Sena sighed gustily in relief and fell back against the wall behind him. Then sprang back up again. Riku sighed, saved his document, and turned to fully face his longtime friend, who, even with his panics and flailings, was a far better roommate than anyone else.

"Hit me. What's wrong. I still don't know why you come to me for advice on this crap, since _I have no experience_ , but sure, go for it."

"I don't know what to give him. For a gift."

"Sex."

Sena almost whiplashed with how fast the answer came. He gaped at Riku, who merely shrugged.

"Guys always want sex. _You_ always want sex. At the very least, put it on the table and see if he's ace or not and that's one less thing to wonder about. I _know_ you've been agonizing over something and I'm guessing that's it?" Riku pointed out wisely.

Sena blushed and looked away, arms crossing over his chest. "I wasn't _agonizing_. Just a little concerned about it whenever I thought about it. I don't _care_ if he's asexual or not, I just haven't figured out how to bring it up."

"There, I fixed that. Can I do my homework now?"

"It's not fixed!" Sena exclaimed, sweatdropping. Riku smirked. Flailings and panics at least had the benefit of being _hilarious_ , especially when he poked at Sena to get the best reactions.

"Okay, fine, why not sex?"

"Because I wanna do something that _means something special_. S-Sex w-would be nice," Sena muttered, suddenly derailed and poking his index fingers together uncertainly. "B-but it's not the kind of special I want."

"Ugh, you want a _thoughtful_ gift. You two are sickening. If you ever talk about that sunrise firefly camping trip shit again, I'll puke."

Sena rolled his eyes.

"What's something personal you think Shin would like? Something that's unique between the two of you, that he probably hasn't talked to about with anyone else?"

Sena frowned, concentrating as hard as possible. Riku wouldn't be surprised if steam started pouring out of his ears. Which shouldn't be cute, but on Sena definitely was. No wonder Shin looked at the slender runningback like he'd actually run up and brought back the moon (which, on Shin, looked awestruck and totally baffled at Sena's actions at the same time. Like Riku said, _fucking sickening_ ).

In a much shorter time than expected, Sena gasped and slammed fist into the opposing open palm.

"I got it! Thank you, Riku-kun!" Sena grinned. Riku shrugged, but looked faintly pleased.

"You would've- ack! Whaddyou doin'?" Riku yelped as Sena sped across the room and squeezed the air out of Riku, maybe even cracking his spine. His tanned skin burned pink along his nose and cheeks.

"You're the best. Do you have a good picture of me?"

Riku looked away edgily. "Why do you ask?"

"Do you or don't you?" Sena demanded, grabbing Riku's shoulders and forcing eye contact. Riku groaned under his breath.

"Yeah, yeah I do. I got loads of 'em. Most are from practice, or our games, though," he warned, though his voice sounded… off, as he turned back to his computer.

"Yeah, those'll work. Just show me whatcha got, I'll pick a couple."

"Uh… how about I do it? You have a shitty opinion of what you look like," Riku pointed out bluntly. Sena sweatdropped.

"I guess you're right."

"I'm a much better objective point of view. I'll pick out a couple good ones and-" he broke off and narrowed his eyes up at Sena who was still leaning over him. "You wanna give him a picture of you, don't you? That's so _gross_. He'll love it."

"Shuddup," Sena grumbled, making Riku outright guffaw. "That's not gonna be the _only_ gift, okay? Just part of it."

"How big? Did you wanna give him a locket with both your initials engraved on it?" Riku gushed, batting his eyelashes and pursing his lips in an almost kissy-face. Sena slapped his hand over Riku's face.

"It's not gonna be a _locket_. **Asshole** ," Sena tacked on for good measure, even though he blushed terribly as he said it. Riku laughed harder.

"I'll get a wallet-size of a couple. How about that? He can carry your stupid, pretty face around with him _everywhere_ ," Riku joked.

Sena whipped his head around and smirked. "You think I'm pretty~" he sang, poking at Riku's cheek closest to him. Riku slapped his hand away.

"Objectively pretty. For a boy. Boys shouldn't be pretty, stupid."

"You can't take it back, too late. You think I'm good-looking. You've never complimented me on my looks, Riku-kun. I think I'm gonna die of shock."

"I liked it better when I teased you. Get the hell outta my face and find your boyfriend his cutesy gift."

"Oh, right. I better hurry. I gotta ask my mom to help me."

"Wait, what?" Riku turned, but Sena was already gone, the proverbial dust still hovering in the air behind him. Seeing Sena gone, Riku clicked on a folder that required a password to unlock. "You're so fucking stupid."

The next day, Sena bounced on his heels just outside his family's home. He was wearing a simple black tee, one of Riku's that Riku had shoved at him while telling him to actually try and look nice for once. It had some weird European band stamped across the chest, but it did fit better than his usual stuff. He jiggled one leg, then the other, then checked his watch again. Which he'd been doing for twenty minutes, because he'd been twenty minutes early and too antsy to go inside and wait like a _normal_ person.

Finally, he saw Seijuuro jogging around the corner. He had on simple black pants and a wine-red tee that looked like it came from a package of a half-dozen identical shirts, black long-sleeved undershirt in place. _Definitely not proposing then_ , Sena thought with a barely held-back laugh.

"Did you wait long?" Seijuuro asked when he stopped in front of Sena.

"N-no, not really," Sena hedged with shifty eyes. "My mom didn't say you contacted her about this, were we not going inside?" Shin questioned. Seijuuro shook his head.

"It's a little ways from here, but it was the most obvious landmark I could think of. Do you mind running a little?"

"Of course not. I've been restless all day wondering what you were gonna do," Sena admitted with a laugh, hopping lightly in place. "I think I need it."

The fond expression on Seijuuro's face had Sena grinning.

Shin led the way, their pace easily in rhythm. He couldn't help but be pleased at that, even though it was true of every time they raced together. He still didn't know of anyone who could keep up with them, but it was more than that. It was the fact that despite their difference in limb-length and overall strength, Sena never looked winded at the end of a run. He never complained they ran too much or too far. Running was as natural to Sena as breathing and smiling. Though they had their stumbling blocks and their almost-arguments, Sena had never _really_ made Shin feel… _robotic_. He never looked at Shin like he was _inhuman_.

Sometimes, though, the look in his eyes made Shin feel _superhuman_. As if just by that look, Sena could inspire him to be even better than his best. Maybe that's why, when the smaller boy had confessed his feelings last year, Shin had so easily slipped into the idea that his feelings could be the same. Had so readily wanted to kiss him, to see if that strange buoyant feeling in his chest whenever he was around Sena was possibly romantic rather than just an odd fluke of biology.

He'd never considered himself a romantic, not really. But apparently Sena brought it out in him and he didn't even know it until Sena blushed and stutteringly pointed it out.

Though this time, he definitely knew what this was and what he was doing. It was time to do it. Past time. Shin picked up his pace a tad without meaning to, but Sena merely doubled his next stride and matched him again effortlessly.

Shin felt the strange tumbling, swooping sensation in his sternum and let the muscles in his face pull up the corners of his lips. His smile was never the joyous beautiful one Sena had, that he always missed whenever Sena wasn't around to remind him what it looked like, and probably never would be, but he _did_ smile. Much more often than he did before Sena entered his life—and not just romantically. Sena had brought out the expression on him far before they started _this_.

As they neared their destination, Shin slowed his pace until they were walking. Sena stared around them, eyes wide, and Shin couldn't help but stop and drink in those features. For the long, blissful moments he could look straight at him and _see_ him again. His voice was nice, even looking at him from behind- with the lithe strong lines of his back and legs and glutes- was enjoyable. But he could remember those without Sena being in his presence. The shape of his eyes, the exact shade of brown, the line of his jaw and point of his chin, the curves of his mouth and cheeks—all elusive, ephemeral things he could only catch while Sena stood in front of him.

"Seijuuro, we're in the middle of the some random neighborhood. What's going on?" Sena was saying, puzzled and head tilted. Like a cat's (Shin wondered if he'd, in fact, picked it up from Pitt). The shape of his name on Sena's lips had Shin smiling even wider, enough that Sena noticed and grinned confusedly in response.

"This is where we first met."

Sena frowned, ever more bewildered, and looked around again, as if the Seisen Stadium would suddenly appear. Just as Shin opened his mouth to explain, Sena's eyes widened.

"Oh my god. It wasn't a _dream_?" Sena breathed out. Shin startled, feeling his eyes widen as well. He hadn't expected Sena to _remember_. But those big, beautiful eyes caught his and they _knew_. "I remember this road. When we were kids, I used to run here with Riku-kun."

"I… I didn't think _you_ remembered."

"I didn't, I mean, I _thought_ I didn't. I dreamed about it and thought I'd made it up. You have such an impact on my life and I just thought… my mind was playing tricks on me because of it."

It was flattering to hear that, of course, but it was more astonishing to realize he hadn't been the only one affected by a fleeting, seemingly random chance happening. In his mind's eye, he could see that morning unfolding. The two kids rushing up the hill, one with strangely bright white hair, the other a messy, spiky brown. Their faces, in their childish pudgy lines, were blurs, of course. But their voices weren't. Nor their names. The smaller, darker-haired boy calling out for his friend, the other encouraging and laughing at once for the smaller boy to hurry up. The sudden speed that had the younger Shin's eyes widening in surprise. Even more startling, the way the boy had moved so instinctively out of Shin's path before he could react, or even realized they'd been about to collide, however lightly. The child-Shin in Shin's mind's eye turned, and Shin turned with him, and saw the speed in legs just as short and thin as his had been.

"If I could run that fast, maybe I could have already given that man his coin," Shin murmured, hearing his younger, higher-pitched voice saying it.

Sena jerked around. "What? Coin?"

"That day, I never would've seen you if a man in front of me hadn't dropped his coin. I was desperate to give it to him, to prove I could help someone whose face I couldn't remember because it was the _right thing_ to do," Shin explained tonelessly. Sena's features relaxed into soft, fond lines. "Then, you ran past and you were so _fast_. So small and thin and _fast_. That's what I thought then. If I could be faster, I could help people better. I could be _better_. A boy my mother wouldn't cry over when she thought I was asleep."

Sena gasped quietly and clasped his hands around Shin's uselessly hanging one. He couldn't look and see Sena's eyes and the emotions in them. Not when his own emotions weren't under his strict control.

"Seijuuro, your mother loves you. I saw it, I promise."

"I…" Shin broke off and looked away, eyes closing. He could feel the upcoming symptoms. The burning in his eyes, the tightness of his throat, the strange tickling in his nose. He didn't cry, though. Not since the first night he saw his mother, broken down over a cup of long-gone-cold tea, sobbing silently in the dark kitchen just a few weeks after she'd quit her dream job. He couldn't cry and make his mother's burdens worse.

"I know," he exhaled roughly. "I know she does. But she did. Cry. In the middle of the night. Alone." His words were choppy and broken. "Running… running was my way of being stronger for her. Of making her proud. So she wouldn't have to worry about me, or be scared for me. So much of what I am, _who_ I am, is because of the little boy who ran past me and made _me_ want to run, too."

His eyes flew open in shock as arms slammed around his waist, almost an _actual_ tackle. Shin stumbled back a step, arms automatically coming up around the slighter, trembling figure that held him so tightly.

"I helped you then, and you helped me later. Me, too, Seijuuro. I am who I am today very much because of you. Facing you on that field, that first game we had against each other, that was the first time I ever felt like _fighting_. The first time I felt excitement. I used running to avoid pain, to run errands and escape bullies, but with you? It hurt so bad, but I had to prove to you, a total stranger, that I could do it, could make you look at me one day as an equal instead of something pathetic. You made me want to _win_."

 _He's too short_ , Shin thought with a ridiculous amount of affection. He braced himself accordingly and hefted Sena up off his feet. The runningback squawked in confusion, but Shin just pulled him back against his chest, arms still snug around his waist, and his face buried against that smooth expanse of pale neck where his pulse beat so quickly and strongly. The huff of breath tickled his hair before leanly muscled arms wrapped around his neck.

"I feel like a glorified teddy bear," Sena complained without actual annoyance. His cheek rested on the crown of Shin's head.

He didn't put Sena back on his feet until he could control himself once more. Until the waver in his voice was gone and the tightness in his chest loosened.

Sena was grinning easy and _loving_ up at Shin when his feet touched the ground again. Smaller hands than his own stroked down his biceps, soothing and gentle.

"I love you."

The words hung between them as Sena's eyes widened impossibly large and shining. His lips parted but no breath released.

"You said it, before, but I didn't reply. I mean it, completely, right now. If you don't feel the same, if you-" the choking sensation returned, but Shin pushed past it. "If you said it without meaning to, or meaning it completely, it's okay. But I do. I love you."

"Don't be stupid," Sena blurted. His face burned red as Shin's lips twitched. "Of course I love you, too," he mumbled, looking away as his hands convulsed on Shin's arms. "But now your present beats mine. I really thought I'd found something special, but you saying that-" Sena huffed and shook his head.

"What gift?" Shin asked in confusion.

"It's our six month anniversary. I may have forgotten," he shifted guiltily, "but when you reminded me, of course I was gonna get a gift." He mumbled something under his breath, something that ended with… Riku's name? But he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small envelope. Shin took it and slipped it open.

"I know it won't _work work_. That it isn't the same. But I thought, it might help? Even a little? At the very least, if anyone asks, you can just show them instead of trying to remembering something you can't," Sena explained quickly, shuffling his feet.

Shin moved his thumb and he could recognize the collarbones peeking out of the t-shirt and the lines of a familiar throat. He could see the lithe planes and muscles of a familiar body in a familiar crimson uniform. Even the spikes of unruly brown hair were _his._

"They're you." Glimpses of brown eyes, the flash of teeth in a smile, fleeting but there for a crystal clear moment while he looked. "I'll have you even when you're not with me."

"Just a little bit," Sena agreed, his hands wrapping around Shin's. "And at home, _I_ cooked dinner. I got my mom to help me cook one of the recipes you gave her a few weeks ago. She said it's as perfect as it's gonna get. So… wanna come eat with me?"

Carefully, gingerly, Shin placed the pictures back in their envelope and slipped it into his back pocket. Just for a moment. They'll be put in his wallet, safe and protected, in just a minute. First, though.

He brought both hands to cup Sena's face and kissed him desperately, like he was the first drink of cool water at the end of a long game. The sweet sounds of surprise and pleasure had Shin's chest- no, his _heart_ tumbling at this young man's feet. He didn't even realize he was whispering those three words against Sena's mouth between every hungry kiss, branding Sena's skin with his heart as well.

Amefuto had given Shin so much. Purpose, direction, friends.

But Sena had given him _everything_.

...

LONG A/N AHEAD, FEEL FREE TO IGNORE:

(a) Did you spot the moment Shin realized one sleeping bag was a bad idea? I about died laughing as I wrote, imagining what he was thinking.  
\- I hope you enjoyed all that sex chicken muahahahahahha At least, I hope you kept thinking it was gonna happen, because I did that on purpose.  
(b) Mamori warns Sena about getting too wrapped up in insecurities and his relationship with Shin, but this chapter is SOLELY FOCUSED on dates. It was already detailed and long AF for a 5+1 format, even during that part, so while Sena does have problems IT'S NOT AS BAD AS THIS CHAPTER MAKES IT OUT TO BE. He is still very active with his friends and amefuto! She was just WARNING HIM AHEAD OF TIME because she saw it starting to happen (and honestly, his insecurity was more the problem).  
(c) When I started this, Riku's maybe/maybe-not one-sided feelings were not implied. It just sorta happened there at the end and I CAN'T HELP IT. I had awesome 3some/polyamory idea for them and it sorta... bled into this chapter a little. I LOVE S/S/R. Not in a triangle-y sorta way, in a POLYAMORY WAY.  
(d) Sexuality: First of my notes for this go-  
Sena: Gay. So gay im crey lol  
Shin: special fucking snowflake I love him- greysexual, demiromantic?, gender is NOT even a variable.  
(e) Yes, the yellow ice cream was mango. And yes, Shin's favorite food is actually mangoes. He doesn't really know this though, and would probably always answer 'I eat a lot of rice' when asked. LOOOOOLLLL  
(f) The scene with bitchy-woken-up Sena just sorta happened and I thought it was TOO FUCKING FUNNY, so yup. Sena's a dick if he gets woken up too early, but has NO IDEA.  
(g) NAME DROOOPPPPP (EVERYONE in the managa was basically there, but I didn't mention EVERYONE because fuck that y'all)  
(h) How do they spend time if the other is gone? Original answer in my notes: Doing they own shit. But then the community center thing, so I guess I did answer it, for Shin, so I added it.  
(i) *weeps over Shin's last line* Fuck you, Shin. Why?

I can be succinct about nothing in my life. Honestly give me some feedback about Sena please? Or how I handled Shin's voice? I thought Shin's was really good (yes, in his mind he is Shin, not Seijuuro, LOL). While I was writing the rest, though, I kept thinking Sena was being a dick, then I proofread and I was like "no he's not? he's doing a pretty good job even with the insecurity... am I being TOO SENA to write this?"


	4. Likes

**A/N:** *coughcough*doneawaywithisShinphemismformasturbation*coughcough* The ending is too perfect to ruin with this note at the end.

 **What do they like most about each other?**

 **Intensity:**

From the moment he met Shin, Seijuuro, Sena knew this guy was _intense_. He radiated it, an almost palpable aura that had him trembling and sweating in fear. He'd wanted to run, had even almost done it. Shin was too much _everything_. Cared too much, tackled too hard, ran too fast, and _glared_ like he could beat Sena to the ground by gaze alone.

By the end of that first game, though, fear had melted into awe. He wanted to break through that intensity. He wanted Shin to be _surprised_ by _Sena_. The poorly constructed imaginings of Shin returning the awe, of turning his intense disappointment into equally fervent admiration, had Sena's blood pumping too hot and too fast.

When he did, it tore down those paltry daydreams, ripped them up like useless bits of paper, and blew them away. All that approval, that admiration, the _respect_ had Sena's head reeling, until suddenly it was his _heart_ reeling. He'd never quite stopped its wild spinning around the hyper-focused linebacker.

But it was okay, because- above and beyond Sena's most hopelessly yearning dreams- Shin returned those feelings. Returned them with the same devoted fervor he put into everything. Intense, breathtaking, and unwavering, those were the traits that defined their burgeoning relationship. Maybe it should be scary, or at least unnerving, having that burning intensity resting on his shoulders, but Sena blossomed under it, soaked it up like a greedy sponge.

 _ **Tenacity:**_

Whenever someone asked Shin to describe Eyeshield 21, Kobayakawa Sena, _tenacity_ was the first word that had always come to mind. From even their first game, Shin had felt it. Under the quavering and poor experience, Shin had seen the drive to never give up burning in that tiny body that ran too fast without direction or goal. The moment there was a goal, however, Sena never surrendered until he reached it.

During the last seconds of so many games, he'd pulled through. He'd fainted on the field to gain that last, winning touchdown. He had run a thousand miles kicking a tiny rock just to overcome his fatal weakness, without even knowing he was doing so. Sena had beaten _him_ , Riku, and Panther, faced down Agon, stood up to Gaou and Marco, won the Christmas Bowl in his very first year of playing, and won the right to the name Eyeshield 21 from the overly confident and supremely skilled Yamato. He'd even gone to America to prove his worth yet again, both in the World Cup and later in Notre Dame.

Of everyone he'd ever met, Shin had _never_ met someone as incredibly tenacious and driven as Sena Kobayakawa. It was the best and most amazing thing about him.

 **Honesty:**

Well, _honestly_ (heh), sometimes Shin was _too_ honest. But Sena always knew where he stood with Shin. If he ever had doubts or confusions, Shin's answer would be simple, easily given, and perfectly clear. He never had to worry about not trusting Shin, because Shin could never be a liar, or a sneak, or a manipulator. Shin would only ever say what he thought and what he meant.

Once Sena had truly gotten to know him, he had never been scared of Shin again. Impressed, or intimidated occasionally, yes. Terrified? No.

 _ **Energy:**_

The Oujou Knight knew himself well. He knew he had endurance and stamina to spare. He trained relentlessly to ensure those things. But energetic? That was something distinct, a subtle implication differentiating 'having energy' from 'energetic'. And energetic Shin was not.

That was Sena. With his rapid explosive dashing to the overwhelmingly busy schedule filled with school, amefuto, and friends that he never truly complained about or resented, just constantly followed through with. The smiles that never stopped, the laugh that came easy and sure, the happy stream of conversation, the blushing cheeks and stammers.

Shin would take it all in, silent and fond, watching the animation in that kind, gentle face he'd come to think as _beautiful_. He never felt like he had to work to keep up. Instead, Sena filled up his silences and softened his cold edges. Where Shin was stoic and calm, Sena was lively and warm. It was the best kind of juxtaposition, almost poetically perfect.

 **Dedication** **and abs** **:**

Becoming the fastest, strongest linebacker in Japan's amefuto league.

Eating strict meals at specific times and never deviating for a _decade_.

Being able to find a way to exercise or train in any environment, with any landmark or tool at hand (even a giant bull's head on a friggin' restaurant!).

Constantly improving and increasing his skills.

Getting back up every time he fell, improving every time he failed.

Learning what it means to 'like' someone and throwing himself into it wholeheartedly.

And the list goes on and on. Dedication beyond anything Sena had ever seen in any other person. There was no backing down, no short cuts or cheats; when Shin put his mind to something, _he did it_. Sena would watch from the Oujou practice-field bench, resting his aching legs from the game the day before, or from the practice he'd just left less than an hour before, and be in awe of the testimony to that dedication. The flawless run, the powerful impact of his hand on an opponent, the seemingly endless endurance of his constant motion during scrimmages and exercises. Sena trained a lot, he played a lot of football, he ate well enough and lifted plenty of weights. But he'd never have an ode to his commitment like Shin's body was to his. Maybe Sena enjoyed the taut stretch of skin over flexing muscles, or the carved from friggin' marble look to his drool-worthy abs a bit more than a fellow sportsman should, but well.

He was allowed, so enjoy every aspect of Shin's dedication Sena _definitely_ would.

 _ **Unreservedly kind and patient:**_

There'd been a few times Shin had been called kind, even sweet. Mostly to his own bewilderment, since he didn't see himself as such. He did things that seemed right, that seemed _good_ , and if it made Sena smile like _that_ and say strange things about how _kind_ Shin was, well, at least Sena appreciated it. He was doing something right, and that was enough.

But Sena? _Sena_ was kind. Sena made the people around him smile, even if he got nothing from it. He went out of his way to make people feel better, to find their strengths and rise above their weaknesses. He forgave, and forgave, and _forgave_ so many times. His own ex-teammates and current friends had once tried to beat him senseless, threatened him with a baseball bat, but he'd forgiven them when they had proven to have grown and changed. He didn't carry a grudge or an ounce of resentment, and honestly, wholeheartedly supported them with their struggles and accomplishments alike.

He was patient and trusting and believed the best in people. Even when he was terrified or intimidated or in pain, a part of him would be ready to listen and understand the other side of the story.

Being friends with Shin was already difficult and confusing, Shin was well aware. Sena not only had become one of Shin's closest friends, he'd become his _lover_. He took all those difficult traits, those confusing quirks, and accepted them. He compromised and bent like a grass to the wind and tried so hard to make _Shin_ happy. To understand what Shin needed. Whenever he felt like he'd pushed too far, he stepped back and let Shin re-evaluate and process. He'd laugh and tease, but he would retreat to give Shin the space he needed.

Sena made his life _better_ just by being kind and patient, never asking Shin to be anything else but _himself_ and loving him for it. How could Shin not return those feelings and then some?

 **Intelligence, Fairness, Sincerity:**

Some footballers were brainless jocks. Others were bullies in disguise. Some liked the rush and the violence more than the teamwork. Tactics were for quarterbacks and coaches, bull-rushing and tackling was the important part.

While Shin had the look, and definitely the body, of a brainless violent jock, _he wasn't_. He wasn't even particularly violent. He didn't exult in _causing pain_ , he enjoyed taking on an opponent, on pushing his and the other's limits. He only ever had respect for power and strength, never gloated proudly in it. Being strong, being a footballer, was about the challenge. About proving your own worth and supporting a team.

When an opponent was weaker, he didn't push them down in triumph, only felt disappointment his own limits couldn't be tested. He didn't enjoy the chase and hunt for weaker prey, or relish in their fear. He did his duty, nothing more, nothing less. And when someone proved stronger, or faster, he didn't resent them. He congratulated them. He pushed himself to be stronger, to be a challenge again, to help them improve themselves as well as _him_. Just his relationship with Sena- before the feelings and kissings and stuff- was testimony to the _fairness_ Shin treated those on the field with. He didn't kick an opponent while they were down, and he didn't hold back anything that may help them grow.

He was smart, he was fair, and he was _genuine_. Nothing about him was fake or phony. Nothing about him was held back, nothing was a mystery or a secret, not if you went out of your way to approach him or to ask outright. Subtlety was not his strongest suit, and he never cultivated an image he couldn't honestly measure up to.

He was the strongest person Sena had ever met. In every way that mattered. How could anyone else compare?

 _ **Bravery:**_

Timid. Shy. Bashful. Quiet. Self-conscious.

All could describe a very visible aspect of Sena's personality. Even Shin wasn't blind enough to not see these things. Over the past few years, since they'd met, there had been obvious growth and Sena was more confident in himself, it was true. But the timidity still colored so many of his responses. He still stuttered and worried about pushing people too far, about saying the wrong things, about facing down something new.

The thing is… he _overcame_ those urges. Again and again, he barreled through his fear and bashfulness. He stuttered out questions he would've been too shy to say in high school, he met his opponents' eyes and refused to back down, he stepped onto a new battleground and stared down the goliaths in front of him. When pushed down, he got back up. When he fell, he got back up. Bruised and battered by someone stronger, bigger, faster, angrier, holding a weapon with bloodlust in their hearts, Sena would _still get back up_. He might've been a gopher for bullies, but there still had been moments where he had stood his ground, where he limped back to his feet and bit the hand of an attacker to protect the few he cared about and who cared about him (yes, Juumonji _had_ told Shin that story). Even Shin had been a wall he'd bashed himself against, desperately brave and determined to _succeed_ at last.

He was the strongest person Shin had ever met. In every way that mattered. How could anyone else compare?

 **Unashamedly Romantic, and surprisingly Kind and Gentle:**

There were things about Shin that anyone could see, had seen. Then there were the things that only Sena was privy to, the special things that existed just between the two of them.

Like how he cradled Sena's face when they kissed, or wrapped an arm around his waist when they stood or sat close, or closed his eyes in pleasure when he lay his head on Sena's lap and leaned into the stroking of Sena's fingers through his hair. Private, golden moments for Sena and Sena alone. Then there were the things he said that made Sena's heart beat too fast and his face blush too red. Like his _favorite color_ , said so earnestly as he met Sena's _brown_ eyes.

Or when he kissed Sena desperate for giving him _pictures_ , because he hated not being able to remember Sena's face in his own mind. Because he could look at the picture and tell himself _this is what the boy I love looks like._

Or how he never forgot an anniversary and remembered a fleeting moment over ten years ago and took Sena there to remind him. Just to lead up to saying _I love you_ and meaning it.

The way he tried so hard to make Sena happy, asking and confirming every step of the way. Even going so far as to buy a phone to make communication easier, despite how gingerly and carefully he treated it in his perpetual confusion and disdain.

But really, the thing he loved most was seeing Shin coaching those kids. He loved watching Shin play 'ball, and in his heart of hearts, he wouldn't enjoy the NFL quite as fully without Shin either on his team or in the league with him as his competitor once again. But he couldn't help but love watching Shin coaching those kids. His large, strong hands capable of immense pain turned gentle, his shouts and glares turned into something teddy-bear-like in the adoring faces of his minions. (The religious-like obedience for the whistle never got old, either.)

So many people saw Shin as the amefuto player, the "robot" guy, the frowny guy, or even the stoically silent hot guy. Sena was one of the lucky few (who wasn't a small child) who saw the sweet and caring guardian underneath. If everything else hadn't already captivated him, he would've fallen in love with 'Shin-sensei', headfirst.

 _ **His Laugh:**_

Shin thought things were funny. Other things pleased him, or made him happy. He'd recently re-learned his love for ice cream and mangoes (why had he stopped eating those?).

But… it didn't really show on his face. It wasn't just because he'd grown into this kind of person. He'd _always_ been this way. Even as a child, he'd been reticent and stoic. Expressiveness had always been difficult and he'd found it hard _not_ to consider the world around him seriously. His mother and father used to joke about how he'd been born frowning and pensive, taking in the new sights and sounds and smells and adjusting to them accordingly.

His early troubles regarding his… condition hadn't exactly brought him out of that shell. Instead, learning that a huge part of the world around him was out of his reach, and he didn't know why or even, really, what he was missing, had pulled him further into his own head. Silently, painfully, while figuring out how to live around his affliction, as he thought it had been.

Sena broke his quiet world, shattered it, with easy laughter. He wasn't gregarious by any means, nor the most outgoing. But laughter, and smiling, came easily to him. It lit up his face, his body would shake with it, cheeks sometimes ruddy and eyes shining. Sometimes he laughed so hard he even _cried_ , thin streaks of tears trailing from the corners of his eyes, or gathering along his lashes. Sena smiled, bright and joyful, when surrounded by his friends, when he won a game, or even just accomplished a good play.

Yes, Sena brought that out in Shin; the tiny smiles and huffs of laughter that Sena coaxed from him easier than anyone else could, for a variety of reasons. But it wasn't because of that that Shin liked it so much. He just liked knowing, definitively, that Sena was _happy_.

 **Equal, Never** _ **Less**_ **:**

What Sena likes the **most** about Shin is how Shin doesn't look _down_ on him. Doesn't pat his head like a puppy, doesn't think he's stupid or useless. Even with all of Sena's mistakes and flaws, Shin looks at him as an equal, a comrade and partner, a rival, a challenge, and a friend. So many words to describe him, but never inferior. When Shin helped train him for the Christmas Bowl, he hadn't talked down to him. He had high aspirations and every confidence Sena would _ascend_ them. He takes for granted that everyone can see Sena the way _he_ can. Someone brave and good and strong.

He sees the best in Sena, when Sena normally sees only the worst. He believes absolutely in Sena's strength.

Shin thinks he's _brave_. That he's _strong_.

He doesn't just like it, he _loves_ how Shin sees him and how he treats him. Their age gap is negligible, their difference in appearance doesn't compute, the disparity between intelligence just numbers on paper—nothing can make Shin think less of Sena than when _Sena_ disappoints himself. Instead of giving up on him, of shaking his head and realizing he deserves someone better, he merely has unshaken faith that Sena will soon bounce back, stronger than ever.

There's no doubt in Shin. He trusts Sena in same way Sena trusts _Shin_.

So Sena is faster, and stronger, he bounces back and tries harder. He proves Shin right, over and over and over again, because he loves the man that _sees_ the best in him. The idea of ever letting him down impossible. Inconceivable.

Only his equal, never an inferior. Never _less_.

 _ **Superhuman, but Never Inhuman:**_

It's the way Sena looks at him. When their eyes meet, and Shin can see every ephemeral feature in perfect detail, especially that _look_. The look that cuts in the sweetest way straight to the core of him.

Superhuman, but not _inhuman_. That's the way Sena looks at him.

It's not idolization, nor is it like glimpsing a trophy on a pedestal to be striven for, definitely not seeing only a _robot_ in a thin coating of flesh.

No, Sena sees something _amazing_. Someone who exceeds every expectation, who has never let him down, who he trusts never would or could. As if every imperfection is gold in the cracks of the porcelain vase of his personality. That every thought is important, every statement filed away to be remembered, _treasured_. Every feeling and emotion and memory a precious piece that makes up an all-important whole. Shin is a complete person in Sena's eyes. Loved, adored, and desired.

So Shin is faster, stronger, _better_ when Sena looks at him. He loves that look, that overwhelming belief that 'runneth over' in Sena's gaze. He loves the young man that _looks_ and sees a man worth loving, completely and without hesitation, in return.

Never inhuman, only _super_ human.


	5. Dislikes

A/N: I wrote this, in this specific order, as a setup to the next chapter, so pay particular close attention to the end. muahahahahhaha Also, I don't work for the next two days and I'm going back to my old apartment that has INTERNET, so I'll be able to update as soon as I finish!

 **What do they hate most about each other?**

 **Shin:**

If asked, Shin would vehemently shut down any idea of changing Sena. Sena is _Sena_. There's no changing him 'for the better'. That's ridiculous. Inane and nonsensical. Sena may not be perfect, no human, no _thing_ , is perfect. Even his timidity and his passivity are just facets of a _multi_ -faceted personality. He didn't even truly _hate_ them. It gave Sena a unique way of seeing the world, of interacting with the people around him. His passivity and timidity actually had helped put him on the gridiron in the first place, where he found so much more of himself buried underneath. His passivity also led to his empathy and his ability to see into others' motivations. His timidity led others to confide in him, to even look up to him for overcoming it and becoming strong and brave, like Chuubou who could relate and be inspired to do the same.

His flaws make him weaker, but they also make him _stronger_.

Though…

If pressed, perhaps Shin would have to admit he dislikes a particular… aspect. A certain flaw that constantly cracked and chipped at the foundation of Sena's character. Something Shin disliked because it weakened Sena without augmenting anything simultaneously; it gave no benefit, only took away.

 _His crippling insecurity in himself_ \- even his own skills at times, though, thankfully, that was further and farther between. However, Shin had seen how the younger man's insecurity wreaked havoc on Sena's choices. His insecurity on his own opinions, on his impact on the lives of others (such as his friends' or younger amefuto players), his _intelligence_ (so so often; Sena may not be the… brightest bulb, but he wasn't as stupid as he made himself out to be), his overall worth as a person. He took the blame for so much, took so many responsibilities on his shoulders, and only ever tried to live up to them. If he ever failed, or fell short, _as humans are wont to do_ , the only one at fault would be himself. When Hiruma placed trust on him to win so many games despite being a _novice_ , when he forced himself to survive the Death March without an actual clue as to what he was improving, it was on him. When they finally began to date and their failed outings strained the fledgling relationship, in the end, Sena blamed himself entirely, called _himself_ the mess.

He couldn't even understand his own appeal to others. Shin didn't exactly notice those kinds of things- body language dealing with desire, flirtations, strange notes in his shoe lockers, or even stranger conversations behind school buildings with stammered non-questions- they all meant nothing to Shin. Thus, he never exactly noticed them happening to Sena. But his friends and classmates had. Jokes and whistles and warnings to watch 'his man' before he was 'stolen away', which only served to confused him more. A grown man cannot be 'stolen from him'. He _did_ notice how Sena talked his looks down, calling himself small and skinny, or even plain. Being complimented on his looks, or the seeing the way Shin cherished and took such considerate care of his few photos, confounded and tongue-tied the runningback. Whenever Shin pulled away from _certain_ situations that had escalated too far, Sena immediately assumed _he_ was the cause and was later terrified of repeating something he thought had been a mistake. He bit down on his lip hard enough to break skin once, convinced the noises he involuntarily made _bothered_ Shin. He constantly asked permission to initiate contact, even just to hold Shin's hand, thinking that perhaps Shin had developed an aversion to Sena's _touch_. The last time they watched movies together, Sena had held himself so far away, Shin hadn't even been able to reach him when he'd extended his arm fully. Each time, Shin would have to _argue_ Sena out of his mistaken assumptions.

It was exhausting and… _painful_.

If Shin could spend the rest of his life doing one thing, just the one and only thing, he'd spend it persuading Sena into believing his own worth. Shin would…

Shin would quit amefuto, if he had to.

…

He had faith in Sena, though. In Sena's friends and family and himself. He had faith that with all of them together, Sena would find that worth, completely and without question.

Shin just wished it wouldn't take so long.

 **Sena:**

Dislikes?! About _Shin?!_ Wh-wha- _no way!_ Nothing! Crazy talk. Hate anything about Shin, that's _impossible_. Okay, so _other_ people think Shin can be rather stern and-and… _foreboding_. (And he had, too, once upon a time.) But once you get to know him, he's just _Shin_. He's kind and helpful and honest. It makes his rare smiles, and rarer laughs, all that more special. It's like the first touchdown, or the last winning touchdown- _exhilarating_. Finding out the little things about him- like his love for mangoes, his wonderful way with children, the desperately sweet way he kisses, the look of betrayal when sugar 'doesn't do its job' right- they're like treasure painstakingly uncovered and just as awe-inspiring when stumbled across unintentionally.

He's strong, dedicated, kind, _fast_ , honest, and _good_. Just _such a good person_.

But… well…

If… if _pressed_ … there's maybe one thing… it's not _terrible_. Oh, no, there could be worse things. And maybe Shin's blunt, unmitigated honesty was rather tactless. Sure. And there are things he considered unessential and just… didn't _want_ to understand. But... whatever. No one's perfect. No one _can_ be perfect. Those things aren't all that bad, and Sena's come to kinda… appreciate them. His holds-nothing-back honesty was something Sena had come to depend on. Those few things Shin refused to care about, well, Sena could do that for him and it felt kinda nice being that person for Shin, for being useful and necessary for silly things like cell phones and cameras and whether or not someone looked superficially different or attractive.

But… that one thing… it wasn't _terrible_ , but it was something Sena couldn't understand and couldn't totally agree with.

That hyper-narrow-focus on football. Not playing it, or training for it, that would make Sena a _hypocrite_. No, the… the way that Shin could respect someone, excuse behaviors or comments, even completely ignore those things, if that person could play well and made a good, powerful addition to a team, though not a necessarily good _comrade_ to the team. Just because they could be trusted not to drop a ball, or to make a touchdown by the skin of their teeth in the last second of the last quarter… that doesn't mean they should be trusted in general.

If Sena can't trust someone _off_ the field, to do what's right and to support the team above their own petty, selfish goals, Sena could never _play_ on the team with that person. He did it once. He would never do it again.

But Shin? Shin would. Shin doesn't see people as good or bad _people_ , he sees them as good or bad _players_. Off field, Shin mostly doesn't care what they do or what they say, as long as it doesn't interfere with the rules and regulations of tournaments or games. He would forgive a lot, because, really, there'd be nothing to forgive. Because it has nothing to do with them as a _player_.

And that? Sena could never agree with that…

Maybe… maybe the more Shin spends off field, getting to _know_ people, learning the differences of character, instead of basing his observations on skills and abilities alone, once he's gotten better at that, maybe he'll start to see people as _people_ , instead of people vs players. Maybe he'll begin to understand that those sorts of distinctions are important.

But, well, it's not exactly an issue right now, so Sena will focus on the good things. He'll help whenever Shin asks for it, and support and encourage and cheer Shin on, because that's what he honestly loves to do. Sena doesn't want to _change_ who Shin is. But it would be kind of nice to see Shin notice more of the world than just what is on the gridiron.


	6. Fights

**What was their worst fight?** **How often are the fights?** **Who usually apologizes first?**

(Soon after the beach date, about a month before Mt. Fuji.)

...

Semi-finals of Sena's first year were underway. Enma had already taken down their semi-final opponent, some smaller sports-centric college that had been a great opponent, but not one of the "big four". Shuuei and Takekura, sadly, hadn't gotten this far. There were few enough _good_ players on Shuuei's team that it, sadly, wasn't a surprise they didn't make it too far. Though Yuki and Takami had truly dredged up a fantastic team for one that was just created when they entered their freshman year and was made up of _medical students_. The fact they'd gotten into the tournament and as far as they had was amazing already. And, well, Takekura had faced Enma pretty early on and, while the battle had been fierce, Enma had scraped the win.

Now, it was one of the most anticipated games of the little spring season. Oujou versus Saikyoudai. Both universities were _known_ for their amefuto leagues, and their players were some of the best in the league. The only thing people wanted more was to see who won and played against Enma for the finals. (It still made Sena a little queasy when the newspapers or sports' shows made such a big deal out of 'Eyeshield 21', when so many of his friends were better, more experienced, more well-rounded players.)

Even though so many of Sena's friends and ex-classmates were attending Saikyoudai and played for them, he couldn't help but feel a higher loyalty for Oujou. They were some of the hardest working players, many of them rising above challenges through sheer hard work vs natural talent. And well…

 _Shin_.

So, Sena compromised. He sat on Saikyoudai side, and had the Wizard wand-shaped noise-maker-clapper-things, but he was a glaringly bright spot of silver and blue in the midst of eye-popping yellow and purple while wearing OU paraphernalia Sakuraba had made sure to give him. The giant, emblazoned 40 on his chest and back had his friends teasing him _for_ days after he'd gotten it. There were several looks his way, confusion and even outright offense, but Sena just ducked his head and grinned as his friends laughed and clapped his back.

"Which do you wanna win more, huh, Sena? You wanna celebrate or console poor Shin at the end?" Suzuna teased, throwing herself on his back and waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"I just… want a good game?" Sena hesitantly replied. Suzuna pouted.

"That's a _max_ boring answer," Monta complained, punching Sena's side. Air gusted out of the runningback in surprise. "You gotta choose _one_ of them."

"Ehhh…"

"You'll never get a straight answer out of him, and you know it," Riku retorted with a nonchalant shrug. He shoved a hot dog towards Sena, fist knocking the air out of his lungs again. "Keep your mouth stuffed if you wanna avoid answering," he joked, lips twitching up into a smirk.

" _Thanks_ ," Sena breathed in relief and promptly did just that.

It was a _good_ game. A _great_ game. Sena hadn't wanted it to end, and not just because someone he cared about would be defeated. But end it had to. The score was close, barely a touchdown difference, with overtime hovering just barely out of reach. The clock changed to 0:00 and the crowd around him erupted with desperate, jubilant cheers. Sena grinned, and knocked his cheer sticks together, but as the teams lined up for the last box, he couldn't help but search out the silver and blue '40' on the other side.

"Hey, guys, I'm gonna go down," Sena shouted to his friends under the wild cacophony. Suzuna, Monta, and Riku shrugged and nodded, expecting it, but instead of letting him go alone, turned to pick up their stuff and go down, too. Sena cut ahead, hoping to make it down to the field before the last of the players filed away into the locker rooms.

Being, well, _Eyeshield_ _21_ , has its perks. So many perks, actually. Two of which he was able to use to make it down to the field in time. The first was his almost inhuman ability to make it through crushes of people in a freakishly short amount of time. The second was almost every player, coach, manager, and ref knew his face by now. He was splashed over news' broadcasts and sports' articles and posters. It was _so very embarrassing_ , but it helped him get through security that really shouldn't have let him through, to zip his way through Saikyoudai locker rooms and onto the gridiron. A few players' shouts of 'hey, Sena!' and 'yo, Kobayakawa, you lookin' to get killed in those colors!?' and laughter followed him, but he didn't even pause, just shouted 'great game, guys!' The people still outside were the ones he wanted to see anyway.

Sure enough, just around the 60 yard-line a few feet from Saikyoudai's side, players from both sides were slapping backs, congratulations and condolences on both sides. They had all been friends too damn long not to linger for a few subtly-hidden-heartfelt words after a game. Unsui was already on standing next to Agon, congratulating him heartily while warning him to look out for Enma in just three more weeks. Shin was standing quietly with Mamori, Sakuraba, and Banba, nodding his head at something they said. Mamori was patting Sakuraba's arm while Banba mirrored Shin's stoic, arm-crossed, wide-legged stance next to the Oujou linebacker. It was weird to seeing him standing beside people like Banba and Gaou, the few people that made Shin look _small_ , reminding Sena that his boyfriend really was an average-sized player. But they looked like they were speaking in power-go with just their eyes and in a friendly, camaraderie-way. Sena made his way to them, biting his lip and trying to figure out what his opening was. Their almost disastrous coffee shop date had just been a a little over a week ago, and though the beach day had cleared up any lingering tension from it, he didn't want to seem too pitying _or_ too nonchalant. Where was the fine line between patronizing and kindness? Shin hadn't noticed him yet, since Banba cut off most of his line of sight. In fact, most of the teams hadn't noticed him. Hiruma, of course, raised an eyebrow in his direction almost immediately, but turned back to a few of the Oujou and Saikyoudai players for final sneers, most likely.

And then… it kinda went to shit.

"I doubt Enma's gonna give us that much trouble, we took down these Oujou trashes so easily," Agon was boasting to his brother. His usual game-face gloating that most ignored with eyerolls. Luckily, Otowara was _not_ one of the few that stuck around on the field for some last words. Probably already too naked…

"It was a close game," Shin replied smoothly, pivoting enough to meet Agon's gaze.

There was small crowd between them, but Shin never let Agon get to him, so Sena waited a moment for the bullsh- _trash_ talking to end. Agon was better these days, _so much better_ , but Sena could never forget Agon's first impression. And second impression. The _evil intent_ he'd felt tingling up his spine. True, he hadn't felt it in the past years. But he was never _alone_ with Agon, and he hadn't played against Agon on the field since the Christmas Bowl. The finals in three weeks would be the first time, but even then, there was a chance they wouldn't. Enma's team was big enough that Sena only needed to play on offense, and Agon also played offense for Saikyoudai. (Sena had been _very relieved_.)

"Maybe the ace of Oujou is off his game, huh? I hear you been tapping that little boy-pussy Kobayakawa. Probably can't get your head in the game with a whiny bitch like that whipping you like a dog, am I right?" Agon mocked with a sly smirk.

Multiple eyes, including Mamori's, snapped to Agon, auras whipping into furious flames. Unsui slapped a hand to his face, barely hiding a groan. There was no way he'd be sticking up for his brother after _that_. And he used to call _Unsui_ a little piece of shit. What a dumbass. Unsui glanced towards Shin, whose confused expression was gradually darkening as the meaning behind the taunts computed.

Surprisingly, before _anyone_ could actually move…

It didn't happen often. Years of training had honed his brain to keep up with his feet, but sometimes his body moved on its own, instinctively knowing just what to do. And getting itself into _danger! fuck fuck abort DANGER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?_

Too late.

Silence crashed over the remaining players as Agon's head snapped back, sports' goggles flying, and Sena's knuckles _burned_. While his mind screamed in a tinny, distant voice to _get the fuck away now_ , he stood his ground, both fists white-knuckled even as blood smudged over one.

" _Don't you dare say that to him. Don't you_ _ **dare**_ _talk about us like that_." Was that… was that _him_? Sena couldn't even recognize the voice being ripped out of his mouth. It was dark, and low, and _enraged_. He'd never seen red like this, never ignored that flight-response or turned that survival instinct off quite this _entirely_. The warning in his brain got smaller and smaller until it was gone.

Even Agon's livid gaze on him, his chin already red and purpling and blood slipping from the corner of his mouth where he'd obviously bitten his tongue, couldn't cow Sena. Arms locked around Agon the same time that more wrapped around Sena, yanking them away from each other just as their body twitched to throw themselves forward.

" _LET ME GO! I'M NOT DONE, PUT ME DOWN!"_ Sena hollered, legs kicking and hands beating at the arms around him. Until his arms were pinned by more hands.

"Stop it, Sena, stop! The refs, the refs are still out here!" Monta gasped desperately.

"You're gonna get suspended, Sena. _Stop it_ ," Riku pleaded, slapping his hand over Sena's mouth. Which was a bad idea, because with one less arm around his waist, he managed to drag himself forward another step.

"I'll fucking _kill_ you, you little shitty piece of trash!" Agon seethed, pulling himself forward inch by inch. Unsui, Banba, and Yamato bore down all their weight and considerable technique to stop him.

"Fuck, get the fucking shrimp off the field. I've got this," Hiruma snapped, hurrying over towards the refs that were beginning to take an interest. "Control your runt, fucking ace," he added, pointing a finger in Shin's startled face.

"I don't contr-"

" _No one controls me! He deserv- stop-Rik-mmph! MMMRRPPHH!"_ Sena flailed and kicked, but Juumonji jumped in to help Riku and Monta yank him towards the exit hall.

"I'll keep Kongou corralled out here with the others. Get Sena _out_ of here," Mamori pleaded with Shin as he passed. He nodded, expression tight. He hurried after the odd-looking and struggling group with the smallest player in the Japan collegiate lineup still slowing them down.

The minute the air around them echoed, their struggles bouncing off white-washed stone walls, Sena shouted, incensed, and tore himself away and backwards from his friends. They three watched in shock as Sena slammed his already injured hand into the wall. He immediately curled around himself with a wordless shriek.

" _Oh, ow!_ Everyone else makes it looks so cool, _ow ow ow_!" Sena somehow managed to whine and rage as he cradled his hand.

"Sena, what the fuck-" Juumonji spluttered. He quickly moved out of the way when Shin passed.

"What were you thinking?" Shin asked softly, grasping Sena's wrists, eyes on his hand.

There was a collective jaw-to-floor-crash as Sena pulled away and glared. Shin _took a step back_ from the look in Sena's eyes.

"Did you hear him? Did _any_ of you _hear_ him!? How- How _dare_ he say that!" Sena hissed, chest heaving and brown eyes flashing.

"It's _Agon_. You've always ignored what he said about you-" Monta tried to reason. Sena's heated scowl met Monta's placating one, which had him quickly shutting up.

"What he said about _me_? Are you kidding? I could care less about his **misogynistic** crap. What he was saying- what he was saying about _Seijuuro_. About _our relationship_. Like I'm- Like it could make Seijuuro _less_ somehow. Seijuuro is _twice_ the player he is, and _ten times_ the person. And he spat on something _special,_ he made it… he made us _dirty_. I wanna _kill him_ ," Sena snarled, tears in his eyes. He told himself it was from the throbbing pain in his hand. He flinched under the return of Shin's heavy hand.

"Sena-"

"N-not now," Sena choked, dropping his head.

Riku and Monta stepped forward when Shin dropped his hand, looking lost and bewildered. Sena's shoulders were shaking now, his body shuddering violently. He flinched again and cried out when Riku gently took his hands in his.

"It looks broken," Riku whispered.

"We'll take you to the hospital, okay?" But Monta's eyes looked up to Shin.

He could only nod, arms hanging uselessly, still sweaty and weary and wearing his amefuto uniform.

"I'm not. I'm not _bad_ for people. I'm not, right?" Sena pleaded, tears dotting the ground at his feet. Shin stepped forward again, face agonized, but Riku and Monta shook their heads and quietly led Sena away.

Juumonji walked up and placed a hand on Shin's shoulder, squeezing it briefly.

"Sometimes a man can't let the one he loves most see him broken like that. Even a guy like Sena," Juumonji murmured consolingly.

Shin shrugged off the hand and went through the halls to take the long way back to the opposite locker rooms. Without a word. A long, painfully silent shower alone was most likely going to happen once he got there. Juumonji scratched the back of his head and sighed tiredly. He should probably go tell Mamori and Hiruma the coast was clear.

A few days later, Sena was at Enma, gasping, sweaty, legs trembling. But he rose from his bent-over crouch and did all over again. Every rep. Every sprint and jump. He'd even taken to copying Kurita's techniques, plowing himself into football sleds and lifting weights that were too heavy for him. The whole team was eying him anxiously, their manager, Azusa, had tried to slow him down and he'd walked past her as if she'd been a wall, or a window that he looked right through. Suzuna had tried her tough love, which he let wash over him, and called in Mamori, who tried the big-sister-love, which made Sena nod and duck his head, but then go right back to pushing himself. He stared listlessly at professors and homework alike, lay on his bed quietly until he slept, or gave up and went out to train again, alone. Riku and Monta had started secretly keeping shifts to go watch discreetly.

Any minute now, he's gonna be fine. He's gonna call Shin, he's gonna cry it out, he's gonna talk to the team and be inspiring and _himself_ again. That's what they were all thinking.

But they were wrong.

Sena was determined to do this. His right hand was definitely broken, so he was building up more strength in his left, which would actually probably even him out, too. Look, his optimism was still there. In a gritty, teeth-grinding way.

And he couldn't call Shin. Not yet. Not until after the finals. Not until he ground Agon's face into the turf so many times he wouldn't be _able_ to talk crap about them, he'd be too busy choking on dirt. He was going to defeat Agon if he _died_ trying. The tiny whiny voice in his head oh-so-helpfully pointed out that it wasn't out of the realm of possibility to actually die. Agon was _vicious_ when pissed, and that sucker punch definitely did the trick.

Sena rammed himself into the blocking sled harder, his grin more a fierce baring of teeth when he felt the sled move slightly farther than it normally did.

Then, his legs collapsed beneath him and he crumpled.

"D-D-Damn! _Damn it!_ " Sena choked out, eyes squeezing shut and tears gathering along the seams. "I can't give up. I can't- I _can't_ ," he whispered hoarsely as his shoulders shook. He swiped at his face, his arm so sweaty it didn't actually do much, and struggled to stand.

A second to catch his breath was all he was going to allow himself, even as the ground wobbled and his brain felt like it was _spinning_ in his skull, he was so dizzy. A hand entered his vision, sports bottle gripped by a familiar hand. He was too tired to be startled, merely raising his gaze to see Shin's keen and _worried_ eyes.

"I've been here for three hours," Shin said roughly.

Sena tried to shrug, but maybe only one shoulder managed to twitch. With a leaden arm, he grabbed the bottle and downed it in thirsty, frantic gulps.

"Slow down, Sena, you're going to choke," Shin warned, using his own hand to gently pull the bottle away from Sena's mouth.

"'m not gonn' choke," Sena slurred as he wiped at his mouth with his wrist. Sweat burned his chapped lips.

"Sena, why are you doing this?" Shin asked, voice pained and quiet. Sena stared at the bottle in his hands.

"Because I have to, because I can't let him be right," Sena murmured vaguely, eyes closing and body slumping. Humiliation pulled him down harder than gravity, everything about him drooping and exhausted. Shin made a short, aggravated 'tch' between his teeth.

"Of course he's not right. _Anyone_ could tell you that. He won a game and wanted to boast over it. He's a narcissist, and nothing he says is _honest_. You _know_ that, Sena," Shin snapped. Sena flinched away. Shin's angry disappointment hurt more than any crap Agon could ever say. And suddenly Sena was angry, too. Angry that _Shin_ could talk like this, that he could be _disappointed_ in _Sena_ for doing something, for standing up to a bully and a jerk.

"It doesn't mean it… It doesn't mean it's _okay_ that he said it!" Sena burst out, hands clenching around the bottle in his hands convulsively. The lid popped off and liquid exploded from the opening before Sena could to stop himself. " _Damn it!_ I don't see why _you're_ angry at _me_!" he shouted his thoughts aloud, rounding on Shin, nostrils flaring and brown eyes flashing under sweaty bangs.

This time Shin stood his ground, hands at his sides and face darkened in a scowl.

" _He_ said those disgusting horrible things about us-"

"That _meant nothing_. We know that, Sena! I understand you being insulted-"

"IT MEANS EVERYTHING!" Sena roared. Shin's eyes widened in shock. Sena dragged a heavy, almost clawed hand through his sweaty hair and exhaled gustily. "He's an **asshole**. He's a bully and a jerk and he wouldn't know loyalty if it didn't hit him in the face with a football, and even then he doesn't care all that much. He says terrible things, and people just _shrug it off_. Why? Because they're scared? Are _you_ scared to face him, Shin Seijuuro?" Sena challenged, shoving a finger into his breastbone, and hissing abruptly. Stupid broken knuckles.

"I am not scared of Kongou. It's just not worth picking a fight off the field. Any issue can be solved there. Why would you disqualify yourself for something he says that _no one_ believes?"

"Maybe because there's something more important to me than the football field, Shin! Maybe because letting someone like him get away with everything, just because he's got _talent_ , is _disgusting_. There are good people, Shin, and there are _bad people_. And Agon Kongou is a bad person who needs to be taught that _integrity_ is more important than everyone's desire to win!" Sena argued, hands flailing. "He's allowed to say those things, get away with them, and he's _allowed to believe them_. I can't… I can't accept letting someone like that getting away with it. I _can't_. He's _evil_ , Shin, and I'm not gonna let him get away with it anymore!"

"There's no such thing as _evil_ , Sena," Shin said as calmly as possible, even though his voice was tight and his eyes were flashing just as brightly as Sena's. "I don't want you to lose out, to be suspended, because you let his empty taunts get to you, because _you_ are better than that. Letting him say that to you, losing control and breaking regulations instead of resolving issues on the gridiron like you should have, it's giving his words credibility, Sena. How much of this-" he waved his hand over the scattered equipment and then over Sena's body- weary and sweaty and dirty, eyes baggy with lack of sleep and skin grey while he shook with outrage and his broken, wrapped fist pressed to his chest- "How much of it _is_ because a part of you really believes him? How long will it take before you understand that _it isn't true_ and you're the only one who believes it? Or are you going to keep lying to yourself instead of facing it?"

Sena reeled back as if slapped. He _knew_ that was the driving force behind his desperation. He'd as good as admitted it in the hallways after the match. He's been dancing around the truth of it the entire time. It wasn't about _Agon_ believing it, it was about _Sena_ believing it.

But Shin wasn't supposed to- He wasn't supposed to throw it in Sena's face like that. Not when Sena had a _damn good point_ that had nothing to do with his own personal, private insecurities. Insecurities Shin just laid bare like they were _nothing_. The blank, stern face in front of him, so closed off and disappointed, like that fight a thousand years ago during their second game. When Sena had almost given up after months of promising to be the rival Shin was waiting for. And that _pissed Sena off_ like nothing else had. Shin wasn't supposed to make him feel _bad_ for being _himself_. That's not how they worked. And this wasn't the same as then, it _wasn't_.

"Life doesn't revolve only around football," Sena seethed, barely managing to pull himself back together. "There's _more_ to life than amefuto, and there are more important things. Or are you still such an emotionless robot that you haven't _learned that yet_?"

The words spat out of him like poison, burning his lips and tongue as they left him. He wanted to grab them, shove them back in, swallow them back down to burn away in the acid of his stomach where they belonged. Shin, for all the pain inflicted by his words, was being _honest_. Was pointing out that, despite Sena's very truthful words, they weren't the whole truth. His weakness was driving him forward just as much as his integrity. He was being petty and vengeful, and no one should play football like that. Shin _hated_ players who couldn't separate their emotions from their game. There was defeating an enemy because they needed to be defeated, there was resolving difficulties through contests of ability and skill, and then there was just being angry for anger's sake. There was taking your own issues on the field and forgetting the goal of playing football in the first place—which was to improve, constantly improve, and to be a perfect working cog in the machine that made up your team. Putting your own grievances over the needs of the team was the paramount transgression.

Sena was committing the ultimate offense and used the sharpest, most painful weapon in his arsenal to hurt Shin for pointing it out.

Sena was lower than trash.

The startled, wounded look on Shin's face had Sena's heart breaking. The moment the look, the vulnerability, shuttered away, hidden and _secret_ , tore the pieces out so only a hole in his chest remained.

He didn't deserve to even ask for forgiveness. Whatever high ground he had, whatever _right_ he'd felt, was ash now. He stepped back and dropped his gaze to the ground.

Long moments of silence weighed them down. It was past nine at night, and the summer night was warm and humid, but Sena just felt _cold_. He clenched his aching fist to hold himself together.

"Sena…" Shin voice broke off. Heavier than the silence and _sad_. Teeth dug into Sena's bottom lip, tearing at skin to keep his _mouth shut_. "You didn't mean that."

"Go," Sena croaked. When Shin stepped forward, Sena scrambled back. " _Go please_. Just _go_. I can't- I can't even _look_ at you-" _I messed up, I messed it all up, I can't take it back, I mess everything up_ \- "So just go, please."

"…"

Shin's footsteps receded. It felt like hours later when Sena finally managed to raise his head. Blurry eyes glanced around the empty practice field, but no broad shoulders, no spiky black mess of hair, met his wildly searching gaze. But he saw the blocking sleds.

With a wordless yell, he threw himself at them again.

And again.

Again.

Again.

Again until he couldn't keep track. Until his whole body was bruised and numb. He pictured Agon's face, because Agon was the enemy. Right? Agon was the reason this all happened. It was _Agon's fault_ , right? _Right_? His yells were rasping whispers in his throat, and he was too weak and shaky to even budge the blocking sleds, before he fell to the ground. A figure crouched next to him, hair too pale and bright to be Shin's, and Sena's head lolled to the side so he could find Riku's softly, smiling face. Behind him stood Suzuna, her mouth carefully pulled up into a bright smile, but her dark eyes glowing with concern. A hand lifted Sena's other arm and he looked over to see Monta smirking and eyebrows high as he wrapped Sena's arm over his shoulders.

"You look about wiped out, _max_ , Sena," Monta told him.

"I dunno, he hasn't popped a seam on the sleds, yet. Next time, try using teeth," Riku teased, winking, even as his smile quavered.

"Just get him to his feet," Mamori ordered briskly as she leaned around Monta. "You need some water and a shower, Sena-kun. No arguing with Mamori-nee!"

"Yeah, she might bring out that old broom! Do you still have it Mamo-nee?" Suzuna asked cheerfully.

"Oh, I'm sure I could find it to beat some sense into someone's hard head," Mamori warned.

"H-How…?" Sena rasped, licking his lips to wet them. Not that his tongue was much wetter.

Monta held up his phone. "Someone gave Shin all our numbers. Half of the text was numbers and symbols, but-"

"Shut up, Monta." Suzuna snapped. Monta wrenched open his mouth to protest, but the sound that wheezed out of Sena was faster.

"S-Sena?"

"'m fine," Sena mumbled, staring at the ground.

"Right, we're gonna sit, anyway," Monta decided, half-dragging, half-walking Sena towards the bench. He sunk down into with a heavy exhale and let his head fall back to stare up at the sky. His friends sat around him, various expressions of concern that he valiantly ignored.

" _Why_!" Suzuna burst out, slapping her hands on her thighs angrily. "Why are you throwing yourself out there like a lineman? _Why_ was Seiji-kun calling us so late instead of staying with you?"

"Cuz I told him to go," Sena muttered, eyes closing against the blanket of stars above him. "We…" he clenched his jaw too tight to continue.

"Sena, you can tell us," Monta urged quietly.

"We're gonna to be here, no matter what," Mamori agreed, patting his knee.

Sena crumpled over, spine bending and shoulders hunching, as he fisted his hands over his thighs. He winced at the pain in his hand and gasped aloud. The small gasp had words spilling out of his once-too-tightly-clenched mouth. "I did- I _said_ something _horrible_ to him. I was so mad, why couldn't he see I was _right_ , and then he said- and so I made it worse. Nothing he said was as bad as I said. I said it to _hurt him_. Why? Why would I do that?" he babbled incoherently, eyes wide and unseeing as they teared up. "I messed it up, I messed it all up and I don't know _why_."

"Sena, you have to calm the fuck down, okay? You're gonna hyperventilate," Riku cautioned, crouching in front of Sena and placing both hands on Sena's knees. "Come on, li'l bro, breathe, _breathe_."

"N-Not… not y-your… b-brother," Sena wheezed. Riku blinked and smiled, soft and fond.

"Yeah right. You need me to be your big brother, so listen up. I know better'n you," Riku teased, hands squeezing gently on Sena's legs. Sena barked a raspy, breathless laugh, but then dragged in slow, deep breaths.

"There you go. You got it, Sena," Suzuna praised, rubbing his back.

"I-I d-don't d-deserve you guys," Sena whispered sadly. "I… I'm such a loser. And what I did…h-he shouldn't… w-why did he…"

"Shut your fucking mouth, Sena," Riku all but _snarled_ at the same time Monta shouted, " _You are not a loser!_ "

"Rikku-kun! Where did you learn to talk like that?" Mamori admonished in surprise, eyebrows high. Riku smirked. "But he's right. You shut your mouth, Sena-kun."

"How dare _you_ talk about _yourself_ that way?" Suzuna added, incensed.

He jerked his head up to see them all glaring at him. "Wh-wha?"

"You are one of the best persons I've ever met, Sena!" Suzuna exclaimed, shaking his shoulder slightly.

"You're my _best friend_ , and I won't let you talk about my best friend like that," Monta agreed. Suzuna smiled over at him and mouthed _very cool_ , making him blush.

"Sena, you're fucking _amazing_. If anyone doesn't deserve someone, it's _us_ not deserving you. We're letting you down if you can think this shit about yourself," Riku spoke sternly, harshly, blue eyes gleaming. Sena's jaw dropped, but no one corrected him.

"Despite the _profanity_ , Rikku-kun is right. Thinking so poorly about yourself… whatever you did, nothing could be so bad you can't apologize for it. Nothing could be so bad that you can't be forgiven," Mamori guaranteed confidently.

"You weren't _there_! You didn't hear what I said! I was so mad, so _hurt_ , that he wouldn't agree with me. I was so sure I was right and then… I said something to hurt him on purpose, just because he was being _honest_ with me, Mamori-neechan," Sena objected, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut.

"What… what do you mean he wouldn't agree with you?" Suzuna asked curiously and perplexed.

"He… _I_ said that I wanted to beat Kongou because he _deserves_ it. He's a _bad guy_ and sometimes there are good and bad people and Kongou… I _felt_ how _evil_ he can be. I want… I want to beat him because he shouldn't get away with it just because he can play well. He should learn that he can't get away with being cruel. He should have to face consequences for what he does and says!" Sena shouted, slamming his fist on his leg, barely missing Riku's hand.

"Fuck yeah, I agree with _that_. He's a _dick_ ," Riku laughed, shocked and proud.

"I'm also tired of how Youichi-kun and the others turn a blind eye to the things he says and does. I'm sick of the way he talks to women, and how he _treats_ them," Mamori agreed, blue eyes snapping lightning.

"I think he's better… than before. Since the World Cup," Suzuna hesitantly allowed, chewing on the corner of her lip. "But… you're right. He says and does a lot of things and doesn't get in trouble for them because, well, he's _not as bad_ as he used to be. And it's not fair." She shook her head, silky black hair almost slapping her cheeks.

"Let's do it, Sena," Monta declared. He stood up and put his hands on his hips. They all looked up at him, his puffed up chest and his determinedly glowing black eyes. "Let's beat him _max_. It's not just about the finals anymore. It's time that Kongou Agon learns what it's _not okay_ to say."

"I'm with you," Riku agreed, getting to his feet and grinning almost savagely. "If I had been closer, I woulda punched before you could've. No one talks about you like that. _Ever_."

"I'm not a football player, or even your manager, but I'll be there cheering you guys on! I believe you can do it, too! You've already done it before, Sena!" Suzuna announced, bouncing off the bench and linking her arms with Monta and Riku.

"I… Well, I _am_ Saikyoudai's manager, but… I can help as much as I can. Agon needs to learn his lesson. Get him back for all the times he treats people like trash. Stick it to him for women everywhere, Sena-kun," Mamori demanded, clenching her fist and flexing her arm.

Sena looked over at Mamori, then up at his friends and teammates, as a dazed smile slowly spread over his face.

"R-Really? But… it's not just about that, you know. I'm being selfish. I just wanna get back at him for what he said about _me_. About how I… I drag Seijuuro down…" Sena admitted haltingly, face ashamed but bravely meeting their eyes head on.

Riku 'tch'ed. "Well then, you better beat him _extra_ good."

"It's not like you don't want to for all the other reasons, right? You just have _more_ reasons. Nothing bad about that," Monta concurred with a shrug.

"Show him what you're made of _and_ teach him a lesson. You know what they say about the birds and the stone, right?" Suzuna winked.

Sena got to his feet, Mamori smiling encouragingly when she saw the stubborn set of his chin. She would never get tired of seeing _this_ side of Sena. Even if it gave her a pang of nostalgia for not being the one who does it for him.

"When I played against Kongou, it was losing 99 times and barely winning the last time. That's _not_ gonna happen this time," Sena stated, soft but sure. His friends all grinned excitedly. " _This time_ , I'm gonna beat him every single time. If it's a 100 one-on-ones, I'll _beat him one hundred times_. He's not gonna see anything but _blue sky_."

"YEAH!"

"FUCK YEAH!"

"MAXIMUM EFFORT!"

"YA-HA!"

They all turned to stare at the suddenly blushing Mamori.

"I… I couldn't think of what else to say…?"

For the next three weeks, Sena, Monta, and Riku trained more than they ever had. Monta and Sena even jokingly referred to it as their mini-Death-March-Month. Suzuna helped them by looking out for their classes as best she could. Sneaking into some lectures for note-taking (like when Sena was passed out in a corner somewhere), hunting down notes for other classes, reminding them when to go eat and forcing them (mostly Sena) to sleep by rollerblading him away from the field, keeping up with their assignments to be turned in and, in one case, pretending to be Sena's mother and getting an extension on a paper. She basically spent the month making sure Sena didn't flunk his classes because… well…

With the renewed vigor, he become like a machine, constantly training, pushing himself further. He even disappeared for hours at a time, coming back covered in dirt and bruises and laughing away their concerns. He did manage to sleep, but not as much as he should. Too long into the night, he'd lay on his bunk, phone screen shining as he stared at Shin's name. He had no texts, no calls, no random _sightings_ even, of the tall, reticent linebacker. He fell asleep curled around his glowing phone, ache in his chest yawning painfully, often enough to be embarrassed about it, even though no one knew.

He'd never told his friends the full story of the fight, or even the terrible thing he said. Every day their silence continued, Sena felt one step closer to whatever he'd had with Shin being over. The least he could do was prove to himself, to Kongou, to _everyone_ , that he was at least strong enough to win. To _defeat_. Even if he did fuck up everything else, at least he could be the best damn player there was and teach Kongou he wasn't allowed to make him, or anyone else, feel dirty, or small, or useless, and get away with it.

The morning of the final game dawned at last. Suzuna, Monta, and Riku had all ganged up on Sena and forced him to spend the entire day after regular practice resting. Well, and catching up on the homework Suzuna had collected for him and Monta. Riku, of course, had kept up easily and helped her help _them_. They didn't do too much, just knocked a few assignments away, caught up in a lecture or two, and then forced the exhausted Monta and Sena into bed early. He'd been so worn out from the weeks of practice, and secret training he'd still kept to himself, and then the homework that Sena had slept all eleven hours like the dead. He couldn't even remember if he had dreamed.

The roars of crowd, even through the walls of the locker room, usually intimidated him, sometimes amped him up, but today… they were just noise. Unsui and Kurita were both looking over at him worriedly, but Suzuna, Monta, and Riku were all at his side, murmuring words of encouragement.

"This is it, the big day!" Suzuna enthused, shaking from head-to-toe in her adorable Enma Flames cheer-outfit. Even her pompoms were quivering in her hands.

"I don't know how you managed it in three weeks, Sena, but you're stronger than ever," Riku stated with a shake of his head, a proud smirk, and a hand patting Sena's back.

"The whole team is riled up and ready. We've got this _max_. Saikyoudai isn't gonna know what hit them, _especially_ Agon when he faces Sena," Monta agreed, chuckling darkly and rubbing his hand together.

"Uh, hey…" a soft, inquiring voice interrupted. They looked up to see Unsui standing there looking awkward. "I know… I get it, why you want to, Kobayakawa-kun, but… are you sure you want to? You don't have to do this."

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm playing defense and offense again. I can do it. _Please_ let me do this, Captain," Sena pleaded, his voice tense and eyes fierce. Unsui hesitated, but nodded.

"Okay. Just, take care of yourself. You're our star runningback, but you're also our _team mate_ , Kobayakawa-kun. I don't want you to hurt yourself to teach my brother a lesson."

Sena squirmed, guilt eating at his stomach. "If… If you don't want me to face him, Kongou-sempai, I get it. He's your-"

"Hey, hey, _no_. That's _not_ what this is about, Kobayakawa-kun," Unsui interrupted quickly and earnestly. "What he said- Kobayakawa-kun, _no_ one was okay with it. He went too far, even if he didn't mean it, he shouldn't have said it. Rip my brother a new one, _please_. Just don't hurt yourself to do it. That's all I'm asking."

Sena grinned wide and surprised. "Thanks, Captain." Unsui nodded once, paused, then reached out to ruffle Sena's hair affectionately. He turned on his heel, cheeks a little pink, and called out for the locker-room huddle.

"It's time," Riku said grimly as his eyes sparked.

"Let's do it." Monta shoved his helmet on his head.

Standing from the bench, Sena grabbed his own helmet and tucked it under his arm. As they waved good-bye to Suzuna, who had to hurry to get her own team ready to lead the boys onto the field, Sena stared down at his hands.

They were rock steady.

Unsui and Hiruma faced each other on the field as the coin glittered in the air. Both shouted and Hiruma won. Unsui acceded to Hiruma usual demand for offense with a nod. For a moment they shared a long look, unspeaking, and Hiruma's green eyes darted to the Flames behind their captain. Unsui shrugged, but his face gave away his concern. With an irritated 'tch', Hiruma spun away and Unsui did as well.

"All right, defense, you're on. HUDDLE UP, FLAMES!" Unsui bellowed. The team bunched all together, shoulders overlapped and helmets thudding. "We're not here to try our best, we're not here to try for just one touchdown. What are we here for, Flames?"

" _HERE TO WIN, CAPTAIN!"_

"That's it! So, let's get on that field and

 _BURN_

 _THEM_

 _DOWN_

 _YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"_ They roared.

The defense team hurried out onto the field, Sena among them. He saw the Wizards' eyes widen, heard the broadcasters commenting and the hisses of confusion among the crowd, but Sena kept walking, shoulders rolled back and chin high. His steady, burning gaze met Agon's as he stopped in the line and stared him down.

There was a moment of surprise before a slow, mocking smirk curled Agon's lips.

"Back to get smashed to the ground, trash?"

"Last time, _you_ ate dirt," Sena replied calmly, hands on his knees.

Agon scowled, livid, but Sena only narrowed his eyes, mouth pulling into a thin, tight line.

" _HUT HUT HUT HIKE!_ " Hiruma's calls echoed through Sena's head, familiar and cutting. His legs propelled him forward and he wasn't Sena Kobayakawa anymore.

He was _Eyeshield 21_.

From the stands, Shin watched with a darkening gaze at the game unfolding. It was already second quarter and the people around them were screaming. It wasn't just in excitement though. Many were left muttering, or whispering, but in an awed, baffled, and almost _terrified_ way. The points were racking up higher and higher, plays getting complicated and desperate, players scrambling. It was a _slaughter_ out on the field, mostly centered on the slight-figured runningback and the much larger, bulkier utility player. Even though number 21 played the whole time, offense and defense, he didn't seem to be flagging. Instead, as the seconds burned away, his tackles got stronger, his run faster. He was a vicious, unstoppable force.

Because it wasn't Saikyoudai doing the slaughter.

Enma was grinding the Wizards to dust, rallying around the kinetic energy that exuded from Sena's every movement.

Shin's teeth creaked as he clenched them. Another hike was called and Sena moved again, right to Agon's position. Agon hadn't been able to complete a single offensive play, throws intercepted, one time the ball even getting knocked straight out of his hands, tackled to the ground time after time. This time, Agon almost overpowered Sena, using brute, angry force that knocked the smaller player back, until the _unbelieveable happened_. Shocked silence blanketed the crowd as Agon fell, back thudding to the ground, with Sena standing over him, hands fists at his side. It took too long for him to tear himself away, but the end of the play was called and he hurried towards the huddle. Even the commentators were stuttering in shock.

A few stands away, a tiny high schooler in Deimon clothes jumped up and down, hollering and banging his flame-shaped batons together. "THAT'S IT, SENA-SEMPAI! DELTA DYNAMITE!" And just like that, the whole stadium got abruptly to their feet, roaring and stamping and clacking their own batons.

Shin stood. Next to him, Sakuraba and Takami glanced up in confusion.

"Wh-what are you doing? Are you leaving?" Sakuraba asked with baffled brown eyes.

"I can't watch this."

"What are you talking about, Shin, that was _amazing_ ," the receiver protested, getting to his feet. Takami grabbed Sakuraba's arm and pulled him back down.

"We'll hold your seat in case you come back after halftime," Takami promised simply. Shin jerked his chin down in a slight nod and walked away, shoulder hunched around his ears and eyes on the ground.

"What the hell, Ichiro?" Sakuraba exclaimed.

"If you can't figure it out, then I'm not going to explain it," Takami replied with a shrug. Sakuraba gaped.

" _You_ get it?"

"Of course I do. I'm not an idiot."

"Are you calling me an idiot?!"

Takami pushed his glasses up, hiding his small teasing smile behind his hand. Sakuraba huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Hey, where'd Shin go? I brought beer and hot dogs!" Otowara announced his return loudly.

"Shin doesn't drink beer or eat hot dogs…"

"More for me!"

Outside the stadium, Shin stood with his hands shoved in his hoodie pockets. He leaned against the wall to the side of the ticket windows, hearing the commentators and the roars of the crowd even from there. His dark gaze glued to the bright, blue sky and his lips turned down.

Halftime ended with a bang of doors as the Enma Flames crashed into the locker rooms. They were patting each other's backs, laughing and sweaty and invigorated by the amazing first half they'd played. At the back of the group, Sena slunk in, head bowed and brows contracted in a frown. He was happy they were winning, but…

But winning against Agon… something was off now. It'd felt good, _so good_ , to see his constant surprise, to watch his back hit the ground, to be the one to take him down. He was defeating God-Impulse-Agon at every turn. It had been _exhilarating._ Until… it wasn't.

Now… now the victory had his stomach churning. He slumped onto his bench and closed his eyes.

 _Shin was right. Of course he'd been right_ , Sena realized with a scoffing, self-deprecating, little chuckle issuing from his mouth.

"Hey, li'l bro, you were a monster out there," Riku broke through the reverie. Sena looked up and, while Riku was smiling, his eyes looked a little… worried.

Monta fell to the bench with a loud groan and thump. He tore off his gloves and drank deep from his sports bottle. Sena sipped at his absently. With a resigned little sigh, Riku straddled the bench.

"You're gonna do something hella stupid, aren't you?"

"Of course he is," Monta agreed as he wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand. "We both called it days ago."

"Huh, what?" Sena blurted glancing between them with wide, startled eyes. Monta and Riku just deadpanned at him.

"You really think this is _you_? Grinding him into the dust like that and liking it? You act like we aren't you're best friends or something," Monta huffed. Riku shrugged, hands rising and palms facing up.

"Agon deserved it, but we knew you wouldn't be able to follow through. Not completely. I'm just glad he got a whole half a game of it. It was pretty fucking sweet. But… well, I know how to hold a grudge better'n you." Riku conceded. He swung back a gulp of his own drink as the three sat in silence. Sena cleared his throat.

"You won't be angry?"

"Nah, man," Monta slapped Sena's back with a crooked grin. "You gotta do what's right. That's the whole point today, isn't it? Showing to Agon, and even Shin, that there's right and wrong."

"And which one are you feeling like right now?"

Sena smiled again, a little more relieved. "Wrong. I feel wrong."

"There you have it," Riku replied with a wave of his hand.

"Seijuuro was right about some things. Not all of it, but… a lot of it. Playing like this, using amefuto for… revenge or whatever this is… That's not why I play. I've never played that way. And doing it now, because of _Kongou_ … it felt good at first, but… it's not right anymore. I've gone too far."

"So whatcha gonna do, Sena?" Monta prompted with his bushy, thick brows high. Sena firmed his jaw and got to his feet.

"Kongou-sempai, captain, can I talk to you?" Sena questioned as soon as he caught Unsui's attention.

"Yeah, of course. You were amazing out there. I've never seen you play that hard. I think everyone's been playing better because of it," Unsui praised eagerly, patting Sena's back. Sena chuckled awkwardly.

"Kinda wanted to talk to you about that…"

"That… does not sound good…"

He didn't want to come back. Watching it unfold before him, watching Sena sink into the worst parts of himself, dark, angry parts that Shin had never seen or even thought existed, it was painful. _Or are you still such an emotionless robot that you haven't learned that yet?_ Shin gripped his white sweats in his fists and stared unblinking and blind as the cheerleaders ended their halftime show. Takami kept sneaking concerned glances, and even Sakuraba's worry was winning out over his puzzlement.

But he couldn't have stayed away. He'd made such an unforgiveable error, pushed Sena too far, thrust his own mistaken ideals on the man he cared about and made him feel bad for having his own set of principles, and topped it off by throwing his actual weaknesses in his face. All to teach Sena a lesson for not listening to him, because he was _so much wiser_ then Sena. He felt his teeth baring into a disgusted snarl, eyes closing in shame.

He hadn't felt such shame in years, not like this… Not since he'd made his mother cry all those years ago. All those years of trying so hard not to be a burden, and he instead became one to _Sena_ ; dragging the amazing, optimistic, kind-hearted, _good_ Sena into a pit of his own fears. The way Sena had looked at him that night, before the last insult, how _betrayed_ and small he had looked. And Shin dare call himself Sena's _friend_? His _lover_? Those were not the actions of a friend or lover. All he could do was send Sena's _true_ friends to his side and step back like Sena had asked. Like he'd _begged_.

There were gasps of shock from the crowd. Even Takami was startled, half-standing from his seat. Shin jerked his head up, bewildered, because surely he hadn't missed the beginning of the third quarter? No… they were just lining up, Enma on offense.

Enma… on offense…

His dark eyes scanned the line of backs again, but it wasn't there.

 _He wasn't there_. Shin stood suddenly, Otowara almost spilling his tray of too much food over the people in front of them.

"Where is he?" Sakuraba exclaimed, also standing. They ignored the irritated protests behind them.

"The bench, look at that bench," Takami ordered, grabbing their arms.

There. On the bench. The bright white 21 shined.

"What the hell! It's offense, though! He's not gonna play only on defense, is he? That's going a little far. I mean, it's obvious he's targeting Agon, but giving up offense to do it?" Sakuraba asked, almost offended at the idea.

"There's no way Eyeshield 21 would do that, Haru-kun. Amefuto, his _team_ , that's too important to him," Takami disagreed, stumped and frowning. "He wouldn't give up his best position for something petty like that. There's has to be something else, something had to have happened."

"He's pulled himself out," Shin exhaled. He was almost shaking with… relief? Surprise?

 _Hope?_

"Wha… no. Not for the _finals_. Not against Saikyoudai."

"The Flames can still win without him. They have a pretty good lead and the team is really strong. If he thought it was better to sit out, rather than continue on his… well, his _vendetta_ … that could very well be what he's doing," Takami granted hesitantly.

They waited through Saikyoudai's defense on the edge of their seats. Shin's eyes couldn't leave Sena's back, not even to see the plays or scores. Enma managed a field goal, but the switch over happened before they could get to the end field. The defense hurried to get their helmets on and offense hurried back to the bench. Sena stood among them handing out towels, smiling and laughing, and patting backs. But the defense went out onto the field without Sena among them. And the crowd uproared around them.

But Shin didn't care about that. His eyes remained locked on Sena's form where he sat among his teammates and cheered on the players wholeheartedly.

Enma won, 40-36.

And Eyeshield stayed off the field the entire second half. Sena cheered and huddled in close, tears in his eyes as he grinned and laughed and slapped backs, once on the butt. He yelped and spun around to see Suzuna wiggling her fingers mischievously. For the first time since he'd been on a team, he wasn't the star, he wasn't the ace. He may have helped in the beginning, but his team could do it without him. And…

And it felt good. His team deserved the credit, especially since the only reason he'd played so well in the beginning was for his own selfish, trivial reasons. Amefuto would always be about his _team_ , about reaching a goal _together_. He'd almost forgotten that to prove something only to himself- and to some jerk with a big mouth.

He lined up with his team to face Saikyoudai for their last bows. As they stood again, Hiruma came down the line and kicked Sena in the side silently before walking away. Sena spluttered and laughed outright. From their bench across the field, Mamori was waving. And even from this distance, Sena could feel her pride in him.

A shadow fell over him and he looked up to see Agon's blank, unreadable face.

"You left the field."

"Y-yeah," Sena agreed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I wouldn't've. You were winning, you were making a fool of _me_ , and you gave up. I don't get it," Agon seethed, anger twisting up his face into a grimace and confusion twisting it more.

"Well, that's the difference, I guess," Sena shrugged and met Agon's eyes squarely. "I wanna be a good person, and I _am_ a good person. I can't let you change that about me."

They stared at each other silently, tension mounting.

"You're not a whiny little bitch after all," Agon finally spat. He turned away, helmet resting on his shoulder and stride steady. Sena let out a gust of breath, gasping again in pain and shock as Monta slapped his back.

"C'mon, let's get outta here. I'm ready to celebrate MAX!" Monta cried, index finger pointing high.

"Y-Yeah, of course. Let's go."

His eyes trailed up to the emptying stadium seats, but he couldn't find familiar broad shoulders or spiky, black hair. And the empty ache in his chest coiled tightly.

The Flames flooded out of the locker rooms, interspersed with the cheerleaders, family members, and significant others. They were still riding high from the win, teasing Sena for giving up so early and leaving it to the _real_ Enma aces. He only laughed and nodded along. Whistles and catcalls broke up their jokes as they made it outside and most of their faces turned to him.

"Looks like our runningback is gonna give up on us again," a junior year linemen joshed, choke-holding the baffled Sena.

"Wh-wha?"

"Gonna run off into the sunset with your boy, huh? Damn, not fair. I mean, if he was a girl, not that being gay is wrong, but I'm not gay," the sophomore-year linebacker stumbled all over himself, red-faced and embarrassed. Fortunately, the attention turned on him, jokes and teasing accusations flying around as Sena stopped dead and stared.

Shin was leaning against the wall of the Stadium, hands in his hoodie pocket and expression stoic. He looked… kinda like shit, actually. His hair a floppy mess that fell over his eyes, the usual spikes gone and he looked… almost seventeen again with how his hair fell silky and unnoticed. He also looked paler, with dark circles under his eyes, and his old training sweats on instead of actual clothes. Like he couldn't be bothered to pretend to care.

Sena yelped and tripped forward as three different hands slammed into his back.

"I'll text ya the address of where we end up, in case you guys decide to come after us," Monta said when Sena blinked back at them.

"But if you don't, we get it and don't feel bad about it. Though," Riku trailed off and a winked suggestively. "I'd appreciate it if you could remember to leave a sock on the door if necessary." Sena spluttered and blushed tomato-red.

"Make sure not to say anything stupid this time, Sena. Don't forget to say you're sorry," Suzuna advised, much more helpfully. She yanked Monta and Riku away towards the fast leaving group. Kurita tried to turn back, calling to Sena, but the three shorties kept pushing him along.

Sena stepped closer to Shin, who was watching him warily, mouth thin-lipped and tense.

"Sh-Shin-san," Sena stammered. His dark eyes shuttered and he… _flinched_? Just a little?

"Seijuuro," he snapped roughly. Sena blinked. "Unless that's no longer applicable…"

Sena tilted his head in confusion before his eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"What, no! Of course it's not- I mean of course it is! Applicable! I think? I mean, we're still- _I still_ \- do you think we're-" Sena babbled in a panic. It cut off abruptly as Shin wrapped him up in a too-tight embrace, face tucking into the crook of his neck.

With a soft, contented smile, Sena raised his arms and pressed his hands to Shin's back.

"Seijuuro." The name whispered through the ends of Shin's hair, over the shell of his ear, and he clutched even tighter. "I'm s-"

"Don't. Don't you say it first. Don't," Shin ordered, his voice desperate and pained. Sena's eyes flew open, flabbergasted and astonished. " _I'm so sorry_."

"S-Seijuuro?"

"I should have been at your side," Shin confessed, the words wrenched out of him. "I let you down. I judged you for doing something that was the right thing to do, because _I_ didn't understand it. I threw your weakness in your face like it was something to be ashamed of. I'm to blame for what happened that night. I should've been your support, your _friend_ , and I wasn't. I wasn't good enough."

Sena's lip wobbled and he closed his eyes against the burning building up. "No, Seijuuro, we were both to blame. I never… no matter what you did or said, I never should've said that to you. It was _mean_. I said it only to hurt you, not because it was true. You know that, right? It _wasn't_ true. It's _never_ been true."

"I know."

Sena pressed closer, arms constricting harder around Shin's torso, but Shin didn't protest. He merely pulled Sena off his feet to erase what gap was left between them. With a helpless scoff of a laugh, Sena buried his face in Shin's hair and dug his fingers into the muscles of his back.

"I don't ever wanna fight again. I missed you and I felt awful. It was _horrible_ ," Sena admitted, for once shamelessly.

Shin replied with a very agreeable sounding grunt.

"I promise… I promise I'm getting better. I'm gonna talk to Mamori-neechan about it. I think… I think she might be able to help me find someone to talk to."

The grunt this time sounded confused, but Shin still refused to lift his face from Sena's throat. He trembled slightly, so most likely he was trying to rein in whatever catapult of emotion was happening. It made Sena's heart swell as he rubbed his cheek against Shin's temple.

"I meant, like, a professional. I can't… I can't do this again. Putting myself down and doubting myself and hurting my friends, hurting _you_. It's not fair. I'm tired of it. I wanna be stronger _inside_ \- my head and my heart- as much as I'm stronger outside," Sena clarified in a quiet, soft voice.

"You won't… you won't push me away again?" Shin mumbled against Sena's pulse. "I can't handle that, Sena. I can't handle _this_ again."

"I know, I'm so-" He broke off in a laugh at Shin's angry growl-snort sound. What could he even call that?! "Okay, okay, I won't say it again. But… I won't do it again. I'll let you in, okay? I'll… I'll let you stay. It'll be hard, _scary_ , I don't like it when you see me like that, Seijuuro. I only ever want to be strong with you."

"You always are. _Always_."

Sena laughed, but it sounded more like a sob. "Thank you, Seijuuro. Thank you."

They didn't go to the party that night. (Or use a sock, _Riku_.) Instead, they curled up on Sena's tiny dorm bunk and fell asleep while playing Angry Birds on Sena's phone. Shin's continuous aggravation with getting the slingshot to work how he wanted it to had Sena _laughing_ himself to sleep.

.

A/N: Headcanon: Riku has a FILTHY fucking mouth after HS and you can't convince me otherwise

Majorish UPDATE:  
Whoever updated the ES21 wikia must've been a fuckin' Shin-stan, because he was never supposed to be TALL. Sena literally says it in the manga, that Shin isn't necessarily a 'big guy', just super fucking amazing. And I LIKED THAT about Shin, so did SENA. It was another reason why he looked up to him, DAMN IT. I was so mad when I read the "official" stats on the page cuz it DIDN'T MAKE SENSE. Then, I looked around a bit and saw, they list him at 6'2"/188cm, but Sakuraba is 186cm. SHIN IS NOT TALLER THAN SAKURABA?! I even have photo evidence, that I spent HOURS LOOKING FOR, of Sakuraba and Shin standing next to each other, and Sakuraba has at LEAST three inches on Shin. And then Agon is listed as 5'9". DID THESE PEOPLE LOOK AT HIM STANDING NEXT TO AGON AND GAOU BEFORE THE WORLD CUP? SHIN IS DEFINITELY SHORTER THAN AGON! At LEAST an inch, probably two! ... I am kinda glad it's not a full foot difference between ShinSena, because I actually LOVE major height differences (too cute I can't). But... yeah, no. I like the TRUTH about Shin too much. *throws up hands*  
So-  
Shin: 5'10", 178 cm  
Sena: 5'3" 160cm  
(And Agon is like flat 6'. 5'9 PAH)

Done ranting. Hopefully this will finally post. I already wasted hours researching fucking heights. My internet needs to work and stop erasing all my info when I hit post! D:


	7. Sneezes

**Have they ever kissed in the rain? Do they ever trade clothes?**

(Sometime after the end of the 'Dates' chapter)

...

Despite 17% chances of rain, the temple grounds were crowded with people. Which, really was not surprising. And, of course, many of crowd were wearing yukata. Even Sena had been forced into his old yukata by the overly zealous Mamori and Suzuna. He'd grown a little too much since the last time he'd worn it though, and he kept tugging on the sleeves self-consciously. They were almost above his elbows and his knees were barely covered, but there hadn't been time to buy another. The girls had eyed it dubiously, but declared that at least the pretty charcoal color still looked 'dashing' on him. He sighed, shoulders slumping under the almost too tight cotton, and followed his friends. The women both looked much better than him with much nicer, newer yukata in pretty, complimenting colors. Somehow, Riku had once again avoided wearing a yukata, but Monta, thankfully, _was_ wearing one, a darker brown one. _Monta's_ just fit a whole lot better.

"Oh, chin up, whiner," Suzuna teased, linking their arms together and poking his cheek. "You look taller and all… _broad_ and stuff. Very sexy." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Sena blushed and spluttered into laughter. "Besides, what if Seiji-kun wears _his_? Don't you wanna match?"

"Se-Seijuuro… in a y-y-yukata?" Sena stammered, eyes almost reeling in his head. Because he could _not_ picture that at all. Or he could… _too well_.

"I see Youichi-kun and Gen-kun. I'm going to go make sure Youchi-kun isn't terrorizing someone's booth. See you for the _mando_!" Mamori waved as she left them. "Don't make me worry about you guys!"

"… Gen-kun? _Musashi_?" Monta asked, bewildered.

"Oh, you didn't know? They're dating now," Suzuna replied breezily. All three boys stared at her, jaws dropping. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, look, a lantern making booth. Monta-kun, you're paying for me!" She dragged him away as he stammered senseless consonants.

"Who's dating _who_?" Sena choked out.

"I think she meant _all three of them_ are dating."

"Each other?"

Riku and Sena stared at each other, cheeks slightly pink. "That's what it sounded like."

"Y-You're not… p-p-picturing it, are you?" Sena questioned cautiously. Riku burst out laughing, mouth twitching awkwardly and eyes shifty as his face flamed red.

"Of course not! I'm not a fucking pervert, Sena!" Riku said, a touch too loudly, before clapping Sena, _hard_ , on the back. "Let's go catch a goldfish or something."

"I think we might be too old for that," Sena said dubiously as he followed Riku, face still pink.

"You're never too old to have fun. But, hey, I think I saw _mitarashi_ stand. Let's get some of that," Riku suggested instead. Sena grinned.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

 _Mitarashi_ in hand, the two friends wandered the festival aimlessly. The sauce got all over Sena's face when he'd tripped over two kids running past with balloons and goldfish in their fists. Only Riku's quick reflexes catching his blue _kaku obi_ and hauling him back, laughing around the sticks in his mouth, kept Sena on his feet. It was steadily getting later, minutes passing into hours, and Sena glanced around more and more often, frown getting darker and sadder.

"Hey, bro, he'll be here. They're coming all the way from Oujou and Tokyo is _packed_ this week. Especially on this subway line and station," Riku muttered reassuringly, nudging his shoulder with Sena's. He'd already found a small cup of _tangyuan_ and _takoyaki_ , merrily taking turns eating a bite of each and somehow never dropping or dripping. Sena stared, disgusted and fascinated. He quickly shook his head.

"Yeah, I know. I just… I don't want him to miss the _mando_. He said he hasn't been here to see it since middle school."

Riku rolled his eyes and then shivered. Munching pensively, his startling blue eyes darted upwards, then he swallowed and frowned. "Well, he better get here soon. I think that 17% jumped up to over 90."

"Huh?" Sena glanced up, mouth gaping stupidly, to see the late afternoon sky covered in rolling, heavy clouds. "Rain?" he breathed in dismay.

"Looks like it," Riku agreed, then polished off his _tangyuan_ with a loud slurp. "I'll go see if I can find a good place to hide out and still see the parade. Keep an eye on your phone!"

Sena raised his hand to farewell, only to be bumped from behind. And then from the side. And the other side. More and more people were filling the already crowded grounds as it became darker and darker, and closer to the time of the rite. It was the most popular temple for the event, so it wasn't surprising. But it was making him more anxious, wondering how Shin would ever be able to find him in the crush of people. With a vague plan to go back to the entrance, since the only way to the grounds was up those _hundred_ or so stairs, Sena turned, eyes scanning the crowd for the best available routes. Only to freeze, spine straightening as he pulled himself up to his fullest height.

There, over the crowd, the bright blonde hair and cheerful, pleasant face of Sakuraba, Haruto. Next him, the darker features and flashing spectacles of Takami, and Otawara just behind them. With a face-splitting smile, Sena narrowed his optimal routes down to one and took off zipping and cutting through the throng of people. The last person between them stepped aside to a booth and Shin was revealed, eyes already on him, that special, softened look on his face awaiting Sena's approach. The runningback stumbled to a stop in front of the Oujou Knights and ex-Knight. Of course, everyone _but_ Shin were wearing their yukata. Shin was in his usual everyday clothes, his white jogging hoodie pulled over the top. At least his hood was down and Sena could clearly see his face.

"You guys made it!" Sena greeted, shuffling in place and grinning. He didn't know what to do with his hands. _What should he do with his hands?!_

"Almost too late, but, yeah, we made it," Sakuraba laughed.

"Your yukata seems a bit… small…" Takami observed with a tiny smirk. Sena blushed and shuffled more while tugging on the sleeves again.

"I didn't really _plan_ to wear it," he muttered darkly.

"I need to find some _takoyaki_ stands. I'm _starving_ ," Otawara boomed heartily.

"I can help. Riku-kun just got some, I remember where the closest booth is," Sena offered eagerly, stepping in place next to Shin. "You excited to see the parade?"

Shin lifted a shoulder nonchalantly. "I remember it well. I doubt it's changed much," he replied easily. Sena sweatdropped.

"I guess not," he conceded as his eyes fell to the ground. He blinked in surprise as a hand wrapped around his before shifting enough to interlace their fingers.

"That doesn't mean I won't enjoy it," Shin assured him solemnly. Sena smiled and stepped closer.

"Th-the _t-takoyaki_ s-stand's this way," he managed to say, pointing with his free hand and leading them towards it. Sakuraba and Takami hid their own pleased smiles.

With various excuses, and with some exasperated elbow-jabbings at Otawara, the three other friends disappeared into the crowd. Shin and Sena walked quietly through the crowd, too wrapped up in their own world to notice the bumping and jostling. Sena managed to ease Shin into talking a bit more about his days than just his practices and his concerns for the Saikyoudai game, and Sena occasionally chatted a bit in the lulls between Shin's sentences. But it was nice, to just walk with someone without expectations to be witty or clever or interesting. There's no need to force conversation. Not with Shin. He's just convinced Shin to let him buy their lanterns, even though they wouldn't be in the parade themselves, when the sounds of flutes and drums and chanting reached their ears.

"It's starting!" Sena exclaimed, scrambling for his pockets. "I gotta see if I got a text. The others might've found a good place to watch."

"Is it somewhere with a roof?" Shin asked suddenly just as Sena dug his hand into his sleeve-pocket.

"Huh, wha?"

And then it began to rain. He'd completely forgotten about Riku's warning and the whole reason he'd run off to begin with. Sena sputtered, mouth working, as umbrellas opened around them and children shrieked in excitement, running to hide under parents' arms or just running in the rain. It wasn't a heavy rain, the approaching lights of the _mando_ still bright and unhindered, but it was quickly soaking through the yukata that was already an uncomfortable fit. He yelped in shock when a heavy arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him towards the back of the crowd. Also leaving behind the lanterns Sena hadn't actually bought yet.

"Wait! Seijuuro, the parade!" Sena protested, _geta_ slapping against the soles of his feet as he hurried to keep up.

"Hn."

"What?"

Shin merely shook his head and pulled Sena under a tree. Rain still made its way through the much barer than summertime canopy, but it was definitely an improvement. There were a few other pockets of people huddled under trees, unprepared teenagers laughing and flicking water at each other as they shivered and worried looking parents struggling with jackets and umbrellas. The sea of umbrellas and people in front of them almost completely blocked the oncoming parade of lantern carriers.

"We won't see it as well from here," Sena pointed out, chewing on the corner of his lips and wrapping his arms around his torso as the cold finally hit him. He glanced up at Shin, who was scowling towards the approaching procession.

His dark hair was darker when wet, of course, but the usual spikes had also flattened. It reminded Sena of the first day he'd seen him, during that stupid Cupids' game where he'd worn the wrong shoes. Rain dripped from the sharp point of Shin's nose and chin, trailing down his neck, and Sena wanted to _touch_. To trace the raindrops with his fingertips before flicking them away. A blush covered his face when he realized his hand had moved without his permission. Shin's pulse jumped beneath his fingers and, despite the rain and October chill, his skin was still _warm_. Shin turned his gaze to Sena, eyebrows rising.

"I thought you wanted to find a closer spot to the parade?" he queried, even as his voice dropped and he leaned forward.

"We can see it next year," Sena shrugged, blushing and eyes locked on the raindrop clinging to Shin's earlobe. His thumb brushed over it and then up the curve of Shin's ear to stroke his hand through the silky wet strands of hair.

Two large warm hands, so warm the rest of his cold, slightly damp body shivered and goosebumped in response, cupped his jaw. Darting out the tip of his tongue to wet his suddenly dry mouth, Sena raised his eyes to meet Shin's. The intensity burning there had Sena stepping closer, his other hand gripping the wet folds of Shin's hoodie. Even with the soggy layers of clothes between them, Shin's body radiated heat. Especially his lips when they fell over Sena's. He couldn't help- didn't want to- the contented hum that escaped him. The festival went on, people cheering and lanterns burning brightly, but beyond the veil of rain, Sena only cared about the heartbeat thundering in his own ears. It'd been so long since the last kiss, he was pressing eagerly, closer, grip tightening, much less reservedly than he would have normally. Though their lips opened into the kiss and their shared breaths had his head spinning giddily, it still remained rather innocent, the only dampness created by the rain. It seemed pretty perfect to Sena.

When he dropped back down on his heels, rain had drizzled down through the leaves and branches above them to soak him almost to his waist. Pulling away from Shin's much higher body temperature was _painful_ , and he was already shivering by the time Shin dropped his hands to rest on his hips. He ignored it gamely, his hands still tangled in hair and hoodie, and their foreheads still pressed together.

"Hey," Sena murmured lamely, mouth twitching up. Shin huffed, breath sliding over Sena's chin.

"I liked the _mando_ rite," he murmured back. Sena chuckled, shoulders shaking with it, only to pull away and sneeze into the damp flap of his yukata sleeve. "You're cold."

"Just a little. I'm fine. The rain's gonna let up any second, I bet!" Sena tried to reassure him, one hand waving wildly. Lightning flashed over their heads and the rain began to pour. "Ehe…"

Shin scoffed and reached for the hem of his hoodie. Sena 'eep'ed, bottom of his eyes twitching, as Shin pulled his hoodie right over his head. It yanked up the edge the shirt he wore underneath, baring for a few enticing moments the vee of his hipbones and the ridges of his muscled stomach. The heavy, wet thwump of a hoodie to his face broke Sena's rapt stare, and the runningback spluttered and flailed. The sound of Shin's amused huff proceeded him yanking the hoodie completely over Sena's head. A few more tugs and Sena's arms were pinned inside the hoodie at his sides. He squirmed and got his arms into the sleeves.

That hung over his hands ridiculously. The bottom of the hoodie was somewhere around his thighs. His face deadpanned in irritation.

"I feel like a little kid wearing his dad's clothes," he muttered while shoving the sleeves up his arms and snorting derisively as they fell again. Sena gave up with a gusty sigh and looked up to Shin, only to double-take.

Shin's pale features were suddenly flushed, even more than they usually were after kissing. His eyes were roving up and down Sena's torso, a fist curled loosely over his mouth.

"Seijuuro?" Sena queried, cocking his head to the side. Shin abruptly looked to the side and tugged the hood over Sena's soaked hair. "You're gonna get a cold, Seijuuro! And it's too big for me anyway. You should take it back."

"N-no. It's fine. You… you should wear it. A yukata is not suitable clothes for this weather," Shin disagreed, his voice sounding strange. Sena pushed the hood off his forehead so he could get another look, but Shin was already turned around, almost _stomping_ away, shoulders hunched around his ears. …were they red?

"Seijuuro, wait up!" Sena darted after him, tripping on the awkward wooden heels of the _geta_ and thumping into Shin's back. He slipped his hand back into Shin's and held the neck of Shin's hoodie over his cold nose.

Because it was cold. And still raining.

Not because he was hiding his too happy grin.

Or because it smelled like Shin's detergent and something uniquely _Shin_.

He glanced up out the corner of his eye to see Shin staring down at him again. The taller amefuto player's high cheekbones were still kinda pink and Sena leaned in close. Obviously the cold was getting to him already. His long-sleeved black shirt was clinging to every bulge of muscle, slicking to him like a second skin, and in the light of the cherry blossom lanterns, Shin's skin glowed, rain glittering brightly on flushed cheeks and ruddy ears. Breath abruptly gone, Sena gazed up at Shin's profile, unable to even blink.

"Th-thanks," Sena's numb lips moved. Shin cleared his throat and shook his head. With a hard swallow, Sena found his voice again. "Wanna go back to my dorm for a while before you go back to Oujou? I can dry your clothes for you. Y-Your hoodie and sh-shirt, I mean!" Sena stammered to clarify.

"Y-yeah. S-sure, that… that sounds good."

"Are you cold? You sound like you're cold," Sena asked worriedly, frowning slightly as he tipped forward to try to get a better glimpse of Shin's face again. He'd never heard Shin stutter like that before.

" _No_ ," was the grunted reply. Sena narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Shin halted, tugged Sena off balance, and leaned down to catch his waist in one hand. Sena stammered out almost-protests, unheeded warnings about the jostling crowd around them, about needing to get out the rain, just before Shin ignored it all and kissed Sena almost fiercely.

It was all too easy to give up again, arms thrown around Shin's shoulders, laughter spilling from his mouth into Shin's at the surprised rumble for his action. The chuckles were covered by Shin's earnest mouth, both of his arms taut around Sena's waist. It was a good thing they didn't need to see, because the rain blurred the festival, people shouting and running around them as the parade ended and the rain worsened. They were a rock in a stream of people and rain, oblivious and uncaring, as they smiled- one wide and vivid, one slight but no less genuine- during every parted breath.

...

A/N: The festival is the Oeshiki Festival in Tokyo, during October. Like, around the 11-14th or so. There's a certain temple, Ikegami Honmonji Temple, that's the MOST famous for it during the first or second day. A parade of, like, 3000 people holding 'mando' lanterns march from the subway station into the temple to celebrate every year. They do it at other temples, too, during the whole week, but the first or second day at that particular temple is the most famous, popular, and significant for historical reasons. Look it up and read a quick blurb~ It looks really pretty, too!

Mitarashi- rice dumplings on sticks and fried and then drizzled in a sweet & savory soy-like sauce.  
Tangyuan- is a soup with sweet rice dumplings usually filled with red bean paste. It's normally served during the lantern festival (different festival than Oeshiki) and, after a bit of research that was a little confusing (I kept typing in some food and it would link me to like ten different kinds of super similar foods), it looks like they call it by the Chinese name rather than using a Japanese equivalent? I think it might be traditionally Chinese, hence the name.  
Takoyaki- pretty sure y'all know this one, it's everywhere, but just in case- fried dough balls filled with pieces of octopus and covered in bonito. I can personally attest to them also using a thick soy sauce and mayonnaise, then bonito on top. It's also not, like, fluffy. It's kinda raw and doughy when you eat it. I was super disappointed hahahahaha. It's cool to watch them make it though!


	8. Birthdays Part I

**How are birthdays spent? Do they ever play sports together? Who has the best table manners?**

For Shin

...

 **July 8** **th** **:**

Sena balanced his pen between his upper lip and nose, frowning heavily at the glowing laptop screen. Even though he was surrounded by literal _piles_ of homework, and he _needed_ to finish so he could enjoy the game coming up that weekend, he just couldn't focus. Not on algebra or Muromachi _jidai_ or biology.

Instead, the little black flashdrive Yukimitsu had given him just a few days before at the beach was blinking where it stuck out of the side of his laptop. He had no idea how Yukimitsu had found _so much_ stuff about prosopagnosia, though… being a medical student probably helped a lot. Sena scrolled further down with eyes gone gritty and dry after hours of staring, skimming over words he didn't know with too many characters and syllables. He actually had a dictionary laid out next to him just to make sense of some of the eye-crossing jargon (that sometimes didn't even have helpful _furugana_!). When his cell beeped an incoming text message, he didn't know if the relief or the disappointment was stronger.

Blinking rapidly to re-wet his eyes, he flicked open his phone, hissing 'sorry' to the glaring students around him. He'd totally forgotten he had hidden himself away in a corner of the library furthest from his dorm and his friends' usual classes. (Which meant he was all the way in the _law_ school library.) His eyes narrowed as he read the text. Then he blinked. And read it again. He was hitting 'call' even as he grabbed up everything under one arm and lightsped out of the library.

" _Moshi moshi, Sena-kun! Did you get-"_

" _What do you mean it's his birthday tomorrow?!"_ Sena shrilled, panting, as the library doors smacked closed just a centimeter behind his butt.

Sakuraba's awkward chuckling sounded over the line. " _So you did get the text. I wasn't sure if he thought to tell you or not and I just thought of it myself_."

"Wha- why- How am I gonna do anything for his birthday in less than twenty-four hours!? I have three assignments to finish _and_ morning and evening practices tomorrow!" Sena burst out, panicking and _clueless_.

" _Whoa, whoa, calm down, Sena-kun. Shin-kun doesn't normally do much for his birthdays. They're not really his style, you know?_ " Sakuraba tried to console. Sena whimpered.

"So you have no clue what to do for him either, do you? You've known him since middle school!"

" _… I just found out it was his birthday, like, a week ago. His parents called me to ask if his present had arrived yet. I think he forgot to give them his cell phone number…_ " Sakuraba sighed loud enough even Sena heard it. _"I told you birthdays aren't his thing. I'm the closest thing he has to a best friend and I didn't know this whole time._ "

Sena tried to run his hand through his hair and ended up smacking his face with his laptop. A couple older female students giggled at him as they passed. Blushing brightly, he made his way across the lawn outside the law library.

"You've never celebrated his birthday? He never had a birthday party?"

 _"Maybe before middle school? Definitely not since I've known him._ "

"I guess that makes sense. Having a birthday party for a kid who doesn't eat cake and turns every game into a competition might be kinda hard…" Sena muttered thoughtfully. Sakuraba barely muffled a snort. "But I can't just not do anything! I'm his _boyfriend_ now. It's not like we're just amefuto rivals who only see each other during games. I… I have to do _something_ ," Sena bemoaned. "I'm not good at planning things. I can barely do good date plans after a whole month of brainstorming."

" _I should've told you as soon as his parents told me, but I was so sure he would've mentioned it to you, Sena-kun. I'm sorry. I could help you think of something? But honestly… anything you did would make him happy. He's very easy to please when it comes to you_." The lighthearted, but genuine, teasing from Sakuraba had Sena's ears burning. And his face. And probably all the way down to his toes.

"R-Really?" Sena squeaked quietly.

" _Duh, Sena-kun. I think you could make him a happy birthday card out of glitter and construction paper and he'd like it. … He'd be a lot confused, but he'd like it."_

Sena laughed bashfully and accidentally bashed his temple with his laptop when he tried to rub the back of his neck. _Ow!_ "Okay, thanks for letting me know. I'll figure out _something_ before tomorrow. You guys have practice, right?"

" _Yeah, the Saikyoudai game is right around the corner. We're getting pretty tense over here. I think he needs the break, honestly._ "

"Thanks, Sakuraba-kun. I appreciate it."

" _One of these days you're going to have to call me Haruto. Good luck on the birthday front! Pretty sure the only thing he's getting from the team is a tear-inducingly-bad happy birthday sing-along before practice. It's not like we can give him cake."_

Sena burst out laughing, unable _not_ to imagine it. The grim-faced, awkward-looking behemoths that made of the Oujou Knights, with Shin scowling and arms crossed in the middle of them. Though, Otawara would probably get really into it.

"At least the bar is set low. See you at the game!"

" _Bye, Sena-kun!_ "

The line beeped and Sena stared down at his screen long enough to watch it fade to black and lock. There really _was_ a pile of assignments adding up, and with the game so close, Sena really doubted Shin would enjoy anything too elaborate anyway. What was something simple, but fun, and… Sena cringed thinking about the state of his wallet. Something cheap, too. Also something a little active and sporty, because Shin definitely preferred time spent on his feet rather than sitting. Or eating. Something they could maybe eat at, but didn't need to-

A gasp escaped him and the laptop slipped from his fingers. He scrambled to catch it before it hit the ground. Papers flew every which way and his phone toppled to grass, but the laptop and the little thumbdrive were safe. Sighing, he set it down carefully and darted around the quad for his work, stuffing it more securely in his bag, before turning his laptop back on to rescue the poor USB from its imminent doom if left in place. He was too busy cleaning up his mess while simultaneously laying out details in his mind for his suddenly _brilliant_ idea to notice the whispers and pointing in his direction. Most of them were along the lines of 'Eyeshield 21', 'so fast', 'is it really?' anyway.

For once, his idea was _foolproof_. He couldn't wait to start making calls.

 **July 9** **th** **:**

Heart palpitating in excitement, and from leftover adrenaline thanks to amefuto practice, Sena rocked back and forth on his heels while waiting outside the nondescript building. As per his norm, he had been a good twenty minutes early, his hair damp and dripping down the back of his neck, gym bag still hanging over one shoulder. He planned out a meetup time to account for Shin's extra, personal practice and the distance from the subway (though he _had_ chosen one closer to Oujou on purpose), but he hadn't accounted for his usual nerves. Which, really, he should start doing that… He checked his cell again, re-reading the text Sakuraba had sent from Shin's phone to tell him they were finishing up and Shin was on his way, and rocked on his feet a little faster.

The repeated drumming of sneakers on pavement had him jerking his head to the side, lips widening in thrilled apprehension. Finally, it wasn't yet another false alarm. Shin jogged up to his side, gaze soft if puzzled.

"It's the middle of the week. Didn't you say you had homework?" Shin questioned with eyebrows high.

"Y-yeah, a _lot_ actually. But Riku-kun _and_ Mamori-neechan said they'd help me bust whatever's left out before the game on Sunday. No worries! Especially not today!" Sena ordered earnestly. Realization dawned on Shin's face.

"Sakuraba told you today is my birthday," Shin stated. His dark eyes flickered to the building behind Sena, frowning at the clacking, echoing sounds coming from within.

"That can wait a moment," Sena gesticulated wildly, dragging Shins' attention back to him. "First, your present."

"You didn't have to-"

"Don't worry. It doesn't cost anything," Sena interjected with a grin and a spreading blush. Before he could overthink it, Sena all but lunged forward, arms wrapping tight around Shin's waist and his cheek pillowing against Shin's breastbone.

Shin fell back a step, and his arms automatically came up. They froze in midair, then he huffed that amused little sound and wrapped them tightly around Sena's shoulders.

"I spent all my money on the- you'll see. But I thought, if you would like a glittery kiddie card, you'll probably be okay with a hug, too," Sena mumbled, eyes squeezed shut.

"I definitely like the hug more than something covered in glitter," Shin agreed firmly, hands stroking up and down Sena's back. His resting stoic poker face was ruined by the fond warmth in his brown eyes as he gazed down at the crown of Sena's wild hair. "Why would you give me something glittery?" he asked a moment later, scowl crashing down in confusion. Sena burst out laughing, cuddling closer and tighter before excruciatingly pulling away.

"Don't worry about it. C'mon on for your birthday date. It was too last minute to get anyone to come, so I promised everyone I'd let them take over my birthday party in October. Monta-kun usually starts planning before anyone else can, anyway, so I figured it was a safe promise," Sena confessed, looking almost _smug_ at his sneakiness.

Shin's eyebrows jumped up into his hairline in surprise. "I didn't think you were capable of being _sly_ , Sena," the linebacker said with a twitch of his mouth. He followed Sena's lead into the building as the shorter freshman ducked his head sheepishly.

"Well… uh, welcome to your birthday date?" he hastily changed the subject, one arm sweeping over the interior.

There were about ten polished to a high glossy sheen wooden lanes, with chairs and podium on one end and clusters of white pins on the other. There were about four lanes in use, every patron wearing ugly, bi-colored shoes, pitchers of beer and little cardboard trays of greasy, terribly delicious food stacked haphazardly over tiny tables. The chart-topping pop songs of Japan and USA were playing overhead of every decade from 1980 to current. The small bar on one end of the large room had a simple menu of about ten items and a soda fountain, and in the opposing corner, the jangling cacophony and neon lights denoted the small arcade.

"A bowling alley?" Shin said a little stupefied.

"Yeah! Isn't it great! We can play a sport together, like amefuto, and you can get your competitive streak going. You know I'm always up to try and beat you at something," Sena joked, waving both arms energetically. "And, and! I checked! The arcade has air hockey and pool! I _suck_ at pool, but I would play if you wanted, or air hockey. Do you know what air hockey is? It's owned by some American expat, so it's set up just like the ones I went to in South Bend! Uh, that's the city near Notre Dame- eugh!" Sena babbling abruptly ended when Shin gently clapped a hand over his mouth.

"It's great. I _like_ bowling, but I haven't bowled in a long time." His eyes swept over it nostalgically. His hand fell back to his side.

"Since middle school?" Sena questioned with knowing eyes.

"Training was important. I couldn't let my focus be divided," Shin replied, almost… defensively. Sena grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"It's okay. You're an amazing football player, literally one of the best in the world for our age bracket, you know? You _love_ it. It's okay to make those sort of choices to do something you love _well_. Look at all those Olympic teenagers, right?!"

Shin gazed down at Sena's earnest, sincere expression and hesitantly squeezed his hand back. Again, Sena somehow managed to know exactly what Shin needed to hear… before _he_ even knew he needed to hear it. Sympathetic and understanding without judgement. Who wouldn't want to smile back at that face? Sena blinked at the smile curving up the side of Shin's mouth, then burst into a bright, wide grin of his own.

"You ready to eat my rented shoes' rubber soles?"

"No. Why would I do that?"

"What, no, Seijuuro, it's a-" Sena broke off, eyes narrowing, as Shin's mouth twitched up a little higher. "HEY! You exactly what I meant!"

"I'm hyper-focused, not an idiot. I've heard ballfield trash talk and _yours_ is lacking."

" _Hey!_ "

He laughed, body shaking and head tipped back, as he walked towards the shoe counter at Shin's side.

Shin was scarily good at bowling. Apparently his dad and he had played _in their private bowling lanes in their own bowling alley in their house_ for years when he was a kid. The first strike he threw was so fast, it smashed the pins so hard they went flying and knocked down two more strikes in other lanes. Sena had ended up choking on air somewhere between laughing and sobbing as the owner came out to scold Shin in loud, panicked, profanity-filled English.

Air hockey was just as much fun. By the end of their third game, almost every patron, and most of the employees, had gathered around them to watch their hands blur over the table top, point after point pinging. Their next four games they didn't even have to pay for, since their audience had handed their own yenn over for encores.

Beer was obviously out of the question, since Shin would _never_ drink it. He still only drank plain black coffee 1 outta 10 times they ended up in coffee shop. But Sena did convince him to try a couple bites of too greasy pizza and a hotdog covered in relish and mustard. Then, before Shin could get too uncomfortable, whipped out the bento box Sena's mother had made just for Shin that she'd dropped off at his practice that afternoon. The relief rolling off of Shin was palpable when he glanced inside.

"One last thing," Sena chirped around a mouthful of fries. Shin did not look impressed at seeing the mash of half-eaten fries in Sena's mouth, making him blush and quickly swallow—too soon. He coughed into the crook of his elbow as Shin ate his bento almost _daintily_.

"You were saying?" Shin prompted once Sena caught his breath.

"I g-got one m-more thing. I wanted to get you cake, but I knew it would be too much for you. Especially this close to a game. I was surprised you ate that much pizza, actually," Sena admitted with a short chuckle. Shin frowned darkly.

"I'm already regretting it. I'll need to add at least another thirty minutes of cardio tomorrow," he muttered, picking at the pickled vegetables in the bento. Sena bent down for his bag, diplomatically hiding his smile at Shin's overachieving sulky fit.

"But, I thought, if I could find _this_ , maybe it wouldn't be so bad," he got to his feet with those enigmatic words. "Wait right here, I have to go get it from the counter. I just needed my receipt."

Shin watched him go, chewing pensively. Sena came back, grinning uncertainly, hands behind his back, just as Shin neatly closed the small empty bento box.

"It's sugar-free, I promise. And organic! I think it was more expensive than renting the bowling lane- not that I want you to feel guilty! I was totally exaggerating!" Sena interrupted himself to hurriedly exclaim his reassurances.

"Just show me what it is," Shin told him bluntly. Sena chuckled shakily, then held out both hands. In each was a yellow popsicle beaded with condensation and obviously just freshly unwrapped. Shin blinked, startled into silence.

"I wasn't sure if it was banana or mango or lemon. That last ice cream you ate, when you were twelve. Anyway, so I grabbed a lemon and a mango one. The banana ones had a lot of milk in them and I know how you feel about too much dairy and sugar," Sena rushed to explanation. "These are organic and vegan and sugar-free but still taste really good, I mean, the box says so, and the guy at the store said so, too. Um… you wanna? Before they melt?"

Shin blinked sluggishly and then looked up in Sena's hopeful face.

"Only if you eat it with me," Shin murmured, voice and expression awestruck.

"Yeah, of course. You're the birthday boy, so you choose which one," Sena offered cheerfully. He squeaked when a large hand instead curled into the front of his shirt and tugged him down. His eyes widened, before they slipped shut. He smiled into the sweet, surprise kiss, ignoring the cold ticklish trickle of sticky popsicle juice running over his knuckles.

"You remembered that?" Shin asked when he pulled back.

"Well, yeah. I remembered all of it, Seijuuro. What you say is important to me," Sena mumbled, shuffled and dropping his eyes to the ground bashfully. "Happy twenty-first birthday. I still can't believe you didn't tell me, though!" Sena remembered, slightly accusatory and affronted.

"I'll remind you next year," Shin promised, taking the lemon ice lolly equably.

"Pffff, what makes you think I'll forget! I won't forget!"

"You might not forget my favorite colors, or the last ice cream I ate," his gaze was fond and still rather amazed, "but you're terrible with dates. You almost flunked your history midterm because you mixed up the Muromachi and Meiji period dates. _The Muromachi and Meiji_ periods, Sena."

"… point," Sena muttered, flopping onto the seat next to Shin and luckily at his popsicle even while pouting. They leaned into each other, Sena's head perched on Shins' shoulder. "It was a good last minute birthday, though, right?"

Shin ducked just far enough to press a sticky, cold kiss to Sena's temple. "The best I've ever had."

Sena bit into his ice cream to hide his grin, only to crumple into a ball moaning at the brain freeze and the pain in his teeth at the cold. Shin merely huffed and handed him a napkin—from _somewhere_. _Was he magically tidy?_

 _..._

A/N: *ugly snorts at my terrible 'sly' pun* 'Sly' used to be the term for being gay, in like, the twenties. Heheheh.

ANYWAY! GOOD NEWS, MY READERS AND FRIENDS! You guys get to vote on the update after next! I have several ideas I ready and willing to do. 1: just the next headcanon on the list, 2. a Marvel AU, OR 3. a Soulmate AU! OR 4. USA high school AU (specifically to write a oneshot on sharing letterman jackets cuz one of my face fanarts of them is this) (PS for you peeps anxious for some sweet BL scenes, the next headcanon is NOT smutty, but the AUs may, or at least have the option to, end up that way)


	9. Birthdays Part II

**How are birthdays spent?** **Do they enjoy dancing?** **Do they attend any clubs or formal parties together?**

For Sena

...

 **October 10** **th** **:**

Autumn was usually a pretty great season. Leaves turning gold and red, the crisp fall air, the beginning of the _real_ amefuto season. His birthday. All the festivals and yukata and even Halloween (although not really one of his favorite holidays, he did like the candy). _This_ autumn was turning out to not be so pleasant, however. The skies were constantly grey and overcast, threatening clouds darkening the sky, bursts of lightning and thunder almost every day. Also, second semester of college was even _harder_ than first semester. Time seem to trudge past and even his upcoming birthday couldn't really lift Sena's spirits.

"You don't think it'll rain out the festival tomorrow, will it?" Suzuna asked worriedly, biting at her thumbnail and glancing out their dorm window to the sky.

"There's a 17 percent chance of rain," Riku replied absently, eyes still on his giant psych textbook. The highlighter in his mouth bobbed up and down and Sena knew that one would be ruined by the end of the day. Riku went through a _lot_ of writing utensils (and sometimes chopsticks) while studying.

"You and your know-it-all percentages," Suzuna huffed, slumping in her chair and propping her socked-feet on Sena's thighs.

They were gathered in the middle of the room, a circle of floor-chairs and pillows huddled near the slowly 180-rotating floor heater. The _stated_ purpose of Suzuna's presence was that she couldn't study with her roommate nearby, an arts' major who tended to think out loud while studying. But Sena was pretty sure she really just liked Riku's floor heater. Both of them tended to run cold, especially during rainy days.

"You asked. I answered." Suzuna stuck her tongue out at side of Riku's head, and he casually flipped her off and turned a page. She burst into cackles and wriggled her toes against the fair-haired safety's ribs, making him grunt and slap at her ankles.

"Well, then, we should start planning Sena's birthday party. If we wait for Monta-kun's last class to end, he'll want to do something stupid, like _amefuto_ themed. Again. For the third year in a row," Suzuna announced decidedly. Sena groaned and dropped his head against the back of his chair.

But Riku finished whatever sentence or paragraph he was reading, stuck his highlighter in his book, and clapped it shut. "I'm listening."

"Really? Now? It's _two weeks_ from now!" Sena pointed out. Suzuna and Riku scoffed.

"We had a deal, mister. You think I forgot just because it's been a few months?" Suzuna demanded with narrowed eyes.

"It was _July_ ," Sena muttered under his breath, shoulders hunching around his ears.

"He probably thought we'd let Monta get away with planning it again. It's so _adorable_ when he tries to be sneaky," Riku taunted, smirking over at Suzuna. She cracked up and rocked on the legs of her chair.

"Actually, I just wanna past my first bio test next week. I took three science classes this semester and it was _a really bad idea_ ," Sena complained, even as he fidgeted guiltily.

"I told you I'd help you with the bio test. If you worry too much over it, you _won't_ pass," Riku advised seriously. He grinned mischievously. "So you might as well let me and Suzuna steal your party out from under you. _Like you promised_."

"I know, I know." Sena sighed deeply and sunk further into his chair.

"Should we ask Seiji-kun to help us?" Suzuna inquired thoughtfully, tapping her lip with her phone.

"He doesn't even like having his _own_ birthday party, so I vote he won't be much help," Sena pointed out dryly. He loved Shin, really, but parties were not something he was good at, or even interested in. "Which is why I'm this mess now," he sulked quietly to himself behind his bio folder.

"Don't mumble, Sena, it's very unattractive," Suzuna teased, now poking at _him_ with her toes.

 **October 19** **th** **:**

" _HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SENA!_ " shouted voices from almost every side. Crackers popped and confetti showered over him as he blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Th-thanks, everyone," Sena stammered bashfully.

The small private room Mamori had reserved at his favorite _okonomiyaki_ restaurant was filled with people. He had no idea so many people would want to come just to see him open presents and blow out candles. It was... kinda mindblowing. The entire ex-Deimon group, plus Chuubou whom Sena had made sure Mamori invited, mixed in with the rest of the Enma crew were all crowded around the hot flat-griddle, spatulas in hand and what was left of ingredients dangerously close to elbows and table edges. Even _Unsui-san_ had shown up and given Sena a really thoughtful muscle-care kit- Icy-Hot and Aspercremes and gels, braces and Ace bandages for just in case. The three cakes that had been brought were already demolished and Mamori, with help from Yukimitsu and Kurita, was already sorting through wrapping paper and gifts and putting them in different bag. Because Mamori would always be the motherly friend, no matter how old he, or anyone else, got.

"You're still so shy. You're nineteen and dating a hot football linebacker, how are you still so shy?" Suzuna teased. Shin stared down at her from Sena's other side.

"I'm at a very comfortable temperature," he assured her bluntly. Suzuna buried her face in Monta's shoulder to keep from laughing. "Why is she worried about my body temperature?" Shin murmured to Sena, honestly puzzled. While Shin could surprise him and joke a little now, anything to do with appearances still completely eluded him.

"I'll explain it later," Sena muttered back. _I am so_ not _going to explain it later._

"Did you like part one of your birthday party?" Mamori asked cheerfully.

"Yeah, it was great- wait. What. Part one?" Sena squeaked in confusion. Riku, Suzuna, Monta, and Mamori all burst into laughter at his expression. He spun around to look at Shin, only to yelp seeing the taller man slip into a coat. "You knew!?"

"Mamori informed me of the plan a few days ago to make sure I had nothing planned instead," Shin explained with a shrug. "I'll see you tomorrow at your parents' for lunch."

" _Eeeehhh?_ You're not- you're _leaving_?" Sena exclaimed. He jumped and looked around to see more and more people sitting up and putting on jackets. "We're all leaving?"

"Shin-kun said he wasn't interested in part two," Mamori explained as she wrapped Sena's scarf around his neck- and a lot of his face. "But most of the rest of us are."

"I'll be heading home," Yukimitsu admitted ruefully. "I'll be stopping at your parents to drop the gifts off, actually. Mamori-san has everything planned out."

"It's gonna be so much fun!" Suzuna cheered.

"Who all are going? And _where_ are we going?" Sena pleaded.

"Don't worry, li'l bro. I'm going and I promise to protect your virtue," Riku vowed, slapping Sena's back heartily. Sena was very glad Mamori had somehow already gotten him into his coat- the extra padding was very appreciated.

"M-my _virtue_?" Sena stuttered.

"I don't see what how that has to do with it," Shin said, voice unimpressed as he glared at Riku, who only grinned back cheekily.

"I'll be there, too. It'll be _max_ fun," Monta assured Sena with a sincere grin and thumbs-up. Some of Sena's nerves calmed a little, knowing Monta would never lie about something like that. …usually. He side-eyed Suzuna as she did up the last of the toggles on Monta's coat, making him blush and sputter. Suzuna could probably convince Monta to… _skirt the truth_ a bit…

"It _will_ be fine. Rikku-kun is just teasing. We just wanna do something new and fun, something a little out of your comfort zone. We have to celebrate your nineteenth in style, right?" Mamori told him with a sweet smile. She held up her hand and began to list off names, touching each finger to help count off. "Let's see, from Enma team, Mizumachi-kun, Natsuhiko-kun, Unsui-san, Kotarou-kun. Plus, Youichi-kun and Gen-kun are coming, so is Ryokan-kun, Daikichi-kun, and then Kazuki-kun, Kuroki-kun, _and_ Toganou-kun. See? You're be with most of your friends the whole time. No need to be worried, Sena-kun."

"I wanted to come celebrate Kobayakawa-san's birthday, too, but Mamori-neechan told my mother and now I can't," Chuubou sulked, sinking in his chair and crossing his arms.

"…okay. If Musashi-san and Kurita-san are coming, then it can't be that bad. I'm sorry you can't come, too, Nakabou-kun. Definitely next year," Sean told him sympathetically. Chuubou grinned in surprised delight. Every time Sena showed him the least bit notice he _still_ managed to look both shocked and elated.

"Exactly! Wait, don't I count!?" Mamori exclaimed in shock. Riku and Suzuna burst out laughing.

"It looks like he doesn't trust Mamo-nee as much as he used to! You've lost the touch," Riku mocked. Mamori huffed and placed both fists on her hips, cheeks pink.

"N-No, n-not th-that! S-S-Sometimes M-Mamori-neechan and S-Suzuna like t-to d-do things t-to t-tease me, th-that's all I m-meant!" Sena protested, hands flailing and face flushed too hot and too quickly with all his autumn layers on. A heavy hand fell on his shoulder and he looked up to meet Shin's serious gaze.

"If you don't like it, you can call me. Any time. I'll come and take you back to my dorm," Shin suggested seriously. The last of Sena's nerves dropped away. Having an easy out from an unknown situation was exactly what he needed.

"Y-Yeah, that'd be… you're sure?"

"I'm sure. I know for a fact I would not enjoy it, so I would not have trouble helping you leave," Shin said with a nod.

"Pfftt, he'll fucking love it once he gets over himself. Don't wait up, Oujou," Riku scoffed, eyes rolling. Shin's eyebrows rose, but Riku merely crossed his arms and returned the look.

"Riku's right, Sena! It's gonna be _awesome, MAX!_ I've been wanting to go forever. It'll be great," Monta threw his arm around Sena's shoulders and tugged him towards the room's exit.

"Ah! I have to go help pay! Don't leave without me!" Mamori gasped, rushing out the door past them. Sena blinked and looked around in surprise, finally noticing they were the last ones in the room.

"That's right, slowpoke, they're all waiting for us at the door already. You ready to stop being a scaredy-cat and have some adventure?" Suzuna demanded, flicking his forehead.

" _Ow_ , yeah, yeah. I'll be right behind you guys. Thanks for coming tonight, Seijuuro," Sena added, grinning up at him. Shin grunted once and shrugged a shoulder.

Riku muttered in exasperation under his breath and brushed past them. Suzuna giggled and bounced out, dragging a protesting-Monta after her.

"I'm bringing your present to your parents' house tomorrow," Shin said after a few seconds of Sena shuffling in place expectantly.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, okay. What is it?" Sena asked, a little lamely and wanting to facepalm at the stupid question.

"New gloves."

Sena blinked, Shin stared back. "You… you didn't have to tell me, Seijuuro."

"Then why did you ask?" Shin inquired, sounding absolutely baffled.

"I have no idea, actually. I think I was just nervous," Sena admitted, still laughing, head ducking.

"Why? About the… plans…after this?" Shin stumbled over the words with an annoyed frown, _almost_ spilling the surprise. _So close_ , Sena thought in disappointment.

"If I asked about that, would you tell me?" Sena asked, perking up. He deflated at Shin's negative headshake. "Ah, it was worth a shot. I… I'll see you, um, tomorrow then?" Sena said, hands fidgeting and feet shuffling as a blush crawled up his throat to his cheeks. He peeked under his bangs to see Shin's perplexed expression, the one Sena recognized as the 'working through a problem' expression.

"Yes, tomorrow. Did you want something else? They're waiting for you," Shin said slowly and carefully. Sena exhaled roughly with a weak chuckle.

"Nah, not really," he patted Shin's shoulder and moved around him. "I better hurry or Hiruma-san will start getting antsy. No one wants that."

Shin laid his hand over Sena's to hold him in place. "Sena, if you want something, just ask. Whatever it is, it won't upset me."

Sena's blush darkened. "It's just… um, it's still kinda hard to just _say_ it."

"I don't want it to be difficult for you, Sena. It's been almost six months," Shin replied quietly. Sena gulped painfully.

"Yeah, but… just… _saying_ it out loud. I…don't know…"

"Sena, look at me," Shin said softly, not moving to force him into it, just waiting patiently. Sena swallowed again and looked up into Shin's carefully neutral face. "Try."

Sena grimaced a little. "O-okay. Uh… c-can you k-kiss m-me g-good-bye?" The blush was somewhere near his hairline, his whole face feverishly warm.

"It was difficult to ask that?" Shin asked in amazement, eyes widened slightly.

"I don't usually have to _ask_! It just _happens_! It's _different!_ " Sena cried out, sweatdropping slightly and turning his head.

A small huff answered him, just before Shin's sudden movement had Sena jerking around again to face him. He blinked rapidly as Shin brushed his lips over his, a merest suggestion of a kiss that still had his heart tripping over itself.

"Then, you should practice," Shin whispered, throaty and octaves lower. Sena shuddered, blushing head to toe, as he followed after Shin, limbs stiff and motions robotic.

Phase two of Sena's nineteenth party ended up being… a club. In Shinjuku. With flashing multi-colored lights. Liquor shots that looked like they were squeezed straight out of a color wheel. And people dressed in _way too few_ layers for late October. The older guys went straight to the bar (and really, Sena's brain broke trying to imagine most of them trying to dance like what he could see out on the floor or pretending to enjoy the special DJ-mix-pop hits playing), but Sena's closest friends and a glowing-faced Kurita headed out to the floor. Mizumachi and Taki threw themselves into the thickest part of crowd and disappeared with whooping cries.

"I c-can't- I d-don't kn-know how-" Sena stammered pleadingly. His friends _cruelly_ forced him out onto the floor.

"Just relax and have fun, Sena-kun!" Mamori shouted under the thumping bass. Suzuna was already bouncing on her heels, face ecstatic.

"C'mon, I'll help you!" Suzuna laughed, grabbing his hands and pulling him a little further in.

Monta and Riku both cheered and whistled. With a playful bow and answering curtsy, Mamori and Kurita went out after them, laughing. Thanks to Kurita's girth, they cleared out a good proportion of the dance floor, people mumbling and protesting until they got a look at them and quickly sidled away. The other three took a moment of listening and then began to dance to the music, laughing and grinning. He glanced between them anxiously, taking in their wild, un-self-conscious movements, but none of them really looked like some of the… _racier_ dance moves he saw around him. They just looked rather silly, and like they were having _fun_. Suzuna winked at him encouragingly, so he slowly raised his hands over his head and tried to mimic the swing of her hips and shoulders.

"That's it, Sena-kun! Have fun!" Kurita cheered, bouncing in place and smiling in his happy, excited way.

 _Well, if Kurita-san can have fun doing this…_ Sena closed his eyes to block out everything but the music, and let himself go. He was awkward and his movements jerky and slightly off-beat, but he was laughing and flushed before the end of the next song. Suzuna and Mamori took turns grabbing his hands and swinging him around, doing weird waving motions with their (and his) arms until the last of his reserves were gone. Riku and Monta showed up at last, handfuls of drinks that looked like they were milked from kindergarten markers, but Sena let Kurita have half of his. He learned from high school that alcohol made him do stupid things and made his feet lead him to dangerous places. (He never wanted to wake up in another lion's pit again…)

During the slow songs, Kurita would go sit with whoever was at the bar, and Suzuna would wrangle a red-faced Monta close. Sena… did not think too closely about Mamori's ability to drag Hiruma once onto the dance floor, but also a grim-faced, pink-cheeked Musashi for all the other slow songs. The first slow song took Sena completely by surprise, chest heaving and sweat already dripping down his neck, as he looked around in confusion. In the end, an irritated Riku loped Sena's arms around his shoulders and then placed his hands _very gingerly_ , the very tips of his fingers, on Sena's hips.

"There, don't say I didn't do anything for you," Riku shouted in Sena's ear.

"Are we supposed to stand like this? I kinda feel like I'm the girl in this," Sena complained good-naturedly, glancing over at Suzuna and Mamori. Riku huffed and rolled his eyes.

" How _heteronormative_ of you," Riku joked, smirking. Sena laughed and ducked his head. "I thought you knew there's no such thing as a 'girl-and-boy' in an only-boy couple."

"I didn't think you knew words like that!"

"I know a lot of things like that. Now shut up and dance before I leave you alone again!"

Another time, Sena joined Monta and Suzuna in a weird, shuffling, laughing triad of a slow dance, Suzuna and Monta falling over themselves and an almost tipsy Sena barely able to keep them up through his own laughter. Mostly he danced among the small knot of friends, exchanging partners thoughtlessly, or somehow alone while grinning and meeting the eyes of his friends.

All in all, it was a pretty great night. He wished Shin could've been there, but it wasn't really his thing and... a night out with just friends, some of his oldest friends, was pretty great.

Sena groaned into his pillow, grimacing at the drool under his mouth and the pounding in his head. There hadn't been _near_ enough sleep for him to already be awake. As he squinted blearily through gummy lashes, he realized the pounding wasn't just in his head. No, there was a polite, but incessant knock on his bedroom door.

 _Whhhhyyyyy_? He whined in his head, mouth too dry and gross to make words yet. With a sad little moan, he slithered out from under his covers and thudded to the ground.

" _ooowwww_ ," Sena whispered in a raspy, hoarse voice.

The door opened to reveal a concerned-looking Shin and a giggling Mama Kobayakawa.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Shin asked, already striding in the room.

"I'll go get him some water," Mama Kobayakawa giggled some more, hurrying away, but leaving the door wide open behind her.

Sena groaned and flopped onto his back, blinking sluggishly at Shin's upside-down face hovering over him. "wha-tie-izzit?"

"That's very bad Japanese, Sena," Shin hooked his hands under Sena's armpits and hoisted him up. "You smell like alcohol and sweat."

"Nuh showa'. Nuh drin' lo'. Evur'un elsssse sssmall," Sena tried to say, dropping his head onto Shin's shoulder and letting out a snore.

"Ah… this is better than the angry way," Shin said to himself. He swept Sena's legs up and gently set him down on the bed. The fast asleep Sena snuggled into his pillow, heedless of drool stains, and snored louder.

Mama Kobayakawa snuck back into the room, smiling and holding a tray of fruit and water glasses. Her smile widened seeing the peacefully unconscious young man curled into a small ball and the much taller, bigger one sitting next to him, one hand lying unmoving on Sena's back. Shin looked up and nodded his head gratefully at her.

"He's so bad at waking up. Just give him a few more minutes and try again," she advised as she set the tray down. "His friends dropped him off very early this morning, too. Maybe three AM or so? It woke Papa up and he told me at breakfast," she added.

"That explains it," Shin conceded, glancing to the clock that read 9 AM next to his bed. "Do you mind if I stay in here until he wakes?"

"Oh my, of course not! You're both adults now! It's so strange to think he's already so grown up!" she pressed her hands to her mouth, kind brown eyes shiny for a moment. "If he needs me, I'll be downstairs. Or if you need me! Please, call me Mihae-san, Seijuuro-kun."

"Thank you, Mihae-san."

She blushed and fluttered her way out the door. A moment later, Pitt wandered in, meowing pitifully, and Sena stirred. Pitt jumped onto the bed, thrust his whiskery nose in Sena's face, and then leapt onto Shin's lap as Sena jerked awake.

"…I need a cat…" Shin said, stroking Pitt's back automatically.

"Wh-wh- _Seijuuro!? Why-when-what_ How?" Sena spluttered, blinking and sitting up completely.

"Your parents let me in. We're supposed to have lunch, remember?"

"Y-yeah, I remember, what time is it?" He glanced over as he rubbed his bedhead. He was still wearing his clothes of the night before, and he felt kinda grimy and gross. Seeing the time had him wincing. "I should probably- do you mind if I… um, shower?"

"Please."

Sena blinked at the almost immediate, very decisive response. "Kay."

"Drink the water first."

"Huh? Oh! Oh, that's _great_! Mamori-neechan kept giving us water, but I've never been so thirsty before!" He chugged down his glass under Shin's keen gaze before swiping his phone on. He choked a bit on water, surprise flooding his face. "Suzuna drank _ten times_ as much as I did. How in the world was she awake and texting me at _seven_? Like, emojis and videos and exclamations points and everything. She's _unreal_."

"The shower?" Shin prompted.

"Oh, right! I'll be just a minute. You…. You're gonna be okay?" Sena asked hesitantly. Shin looked down at the contentedly purring Pitt in his lap.

"I have a cat."

"Pitt's great. That's great. Okay." He grinned and rushed to grab everything he'd need, including clean clothes, and dashed out the door. Shin and Pitt stared at each other, her tail flicking over his thigh and his hand lazily stroking her back.

"I need to learn how to wake him like that," Shin told her seriously. She purred louder and set her chin down on her paws.

They sat on the bed together a little while later, the shorter freshly showered and dressed, and the taller gazing forlornly as Pitt slipped out the door. Distraction came in the form of fruit that Sena set on the bed between them. Shin stuck to the water as Sena all but inhaled more than half the fruit before slowing down.

"How was it?" Shin asked curiously as Sena polished off the last of the grapes.

"What? Oh, the club last night? I get why you decided not to come," Sena said with a wide grin. "But it wasn't so bad after I got into it. Kurita-san kept most the strangers away, and Mamori-neechan is really scary when anyone tried to cut in on us or get too handsy. There were a few people that tried to dance with Suzuna and Mamori-neechan," _and me, why were they all dudes, too?_ _Kinda BIG dudes..._ "but luckily they left us alone pretty quick."

"Handsy? Isn't the point of dancing to dance with a partner?" Shin inquired, eyebrows rising. Sena blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Seijuuro, have you… have you seen the way people dance in clubs?"

"No, but it's dancing. I took lessons with my mother when I was young," Shin replied, still clueless. Sena sighed and then perked up.

"Suzuna sent a couple of videos. You'll get it, here," Sena scrambled for his phone and opened his SMS. It was just a moment later that he held it up for Shin to get a good look at the dim, flashing video, the loud, bass-thumping music tinny and static-y. Shin's brows crashed down into a scowl.

"That is not dancing."

"Not the kind of dancing you take lessons for, no, but it's club dancing. It's why I never went in USA. Well, that and my friends wanted me to have a fake ID to get in and that's _scary_ ," Sena shivered and shook his head. "They said all the ones for under 21 were lame, so I lucked out."

"You danced like these people?" Shin asked incredulously, still peering at the second video that had just begun. Sena burst out laughing.

"Me? Dance like that? I wouldn't know how! No, I looked like an idiot, waving my arms around and hopping in place. I copied Suzuna a little, but mostly I just, uh… I dunno, dance however?" Sena explained setting his phone down. Shin snorted and picked up the phone. "Mostly everyone drinks these really expensive drinks there and they dance a little... wilder, you know? Less inhibitions, I guess? I had a couple, but I don't really like getting drunk, so I gave most of them away after a couple sips. I ony really felt so sick because I was out so late. I never go to bed that late," Sena laughed at himself and popped another orange slice in his mouth. He choked at the strange crunching sound coming from Shin's hands. "GHMPHHGH?!" Sena choked in panic, hands reaching for the phone.

Shin grabbed Sena's hands in one of his and tugged him from the bed onto their feet, setting the phone on the desk nearby.

"Wh-what- did you br-break it!?" Sena spluttered. He blinked in confusion as Shin placed one of Sena's hands on his waist and then lifted their clasped hands up to the side. Shin's free hand cupped Sena's shoulder, smoothing over it minutely. "What are you doing?"

"Wait a moment," Shin replied just as music began to play.

" _OH!_ You got the internet to work? Hey, I know this song. My mom loves it! Keiko something, right? What-"

"I'm going to show you what dancing is," Shin answered simply. Sena gaped at him. "I used to dance to this song with my mother. If you need to, you can stand on my feet. It's how I learned."

Blood rushed to Sena's face at both the offer and the mental picture. _It was too damn cute_. He could _too easily_ picture the two of them, mother and tiny son, dancing around that massive ballroom in their house to the old 70s' enka song. Shin hummed the first few bars, low and completely off-pitch, before stepping into a…

"Is… is this a _waltz_? I've seen this in _Disney_ movies," Sena blurted in shock.

"What's Di-suh-ney?" Shin asked absently, muttering the counts under his breath a second later. He was frowning in concentration, eyes on their feet, as he struggled to remember those long ago lessons while leading the completely inept Sena along.

"Nothing, it's nothing," Sena murmured, eyes fond and probably stupidly adoring on Shin's face. He hadn't said it since Mt. Fuji but maybe… maybe it'd be okay to say it again. "I l-l-like it. The dance. Even better than clubbing," he chickened out.

Shin looked back up at him, mouth softening into that tiny, affectionate smile. "The music is better, too."

"Yeah. Thank you for coming to my parents' party for me," Sena sighed, stepping a little closer to rest his head on Shin's shoulder. The linebacker froze, then started dancing again, not bothering with getting back on the right count.

"I like it. Just us and your parents. And Pitt." Sena grinned against Shin's chest at his cat's name.

"I like it, too." He pressed his nose to Shin's sternum, filling his senses with the warm scent of clean linen and autumn air and _Shin_. He mumbled the three words indistinctly, cheeks flushing. The arm wrapping around his back and squeezing him closer proved Shin heard him, though.

"Happy birthday, Sena."

(About an hour later, Sena picked up his phone to find a Shin-finger-shaped-and-sized shatter on the screen and long, thin crack across the screen, _lengthwise_ all the way to the top. The blank-faced, confounded stare was the only reply he got from Shin about it. But the new winter scarlet-red gloves were really nice…)

...

A/N: The next chapter is the one y'all ask for! So far #2, Marvel AU, is winning. (Other options are- 1. next headcanon, 3. Soulmate AU, 4. USA high school AU involving letterman jackets?

The song they dance to is: Keiko Fuji – Yume wa Yoru Hiraku. watch?v=qNj3sivdCaI (How do you insert links?) It's not really a love song, or even romantic. It's a little sad and talking about how her love is frail and falls in love one day, only to fall in love again the next with someone else, but, it was a SUPER huge famous song and enka and it just seemed like his mother would like that kind of music and teach him to waltz to it.


	10. Heroes

**What if they were superheroes?** (Mostly MCU movie verse, sometime after 'Age of Ultron')

…

It didn't matter that he'd earned this. It didn't matter he'd worked hard, almost day and night, to make the grades to make the cut. That his application had been filled with volunteer projects and extracurricular activities and steady, never failing grades since high school. All while dealing with… _everything_.

No, none of it mattered. Because when he walked into the lab, eyes wide and mouth falling open, to gaze around at the hovering 3D screens and LCD-lit tablets as thin and transparent as glass, at the white board in the corner covered in equations that made his eyes spin, and a table cluttered with neatly-piled and filed papers, all his classmates turned and… their faces fell into lines of disgust and disbelief. He knew what was going through their heads as he trudged towards the last remaining seat, battered shoulder-bag thumping bruises into his hip, faded, baggy clothes rustling, the ID badge twisted and facing the wrong way. It went through everyone's head whenever they saw him.

That he didn't honestly belong here with the elite. That he wasn't enough, he would never be the legacy his parents were. That only his name, still revered among top scientists of the field, opened doors he shouldn't darken.

Part of him agreed, of course. _He_ had actually known his parents, after all. He knew what he was measured up against, and how much he failed to do so.

But… His fingers touched his breast pocket as he sunk into his seat at last with a small, weary sigh. He'd made them a promise, and he made one to his uncle, too.

The door opened again, and instead of disgust or confusion, every face lit up in excitement. His own heart was palpitating wildly as _she_ entered.

Kind blue eyes framed by short auburn hair in a prettier face. Her lab coat was clean, but wrinkled and disheveled. Large, heavy, blue frames slipped down her nose, which she absently pushed back up as she stood in front of the small group of chairs occupied by a group of college students from all over the country.

"Welcome to Stark Tower, everyone! As I'm sure you know, I'm Doctor Mamori Banner. For the next four weeks, you'll be studying exclusively under my tutelage. Don't worry, we won't be playing with gamma rays," she giggled, glasses slipping again.

Students blinked, but he snorted behind his hand.

Blue eyes pierced him, Dr. Banner's pretty mouth curving up.

"Aha! I found the one with a sense of humor! You are…"

He sat up straight, cheeks flushing and hands shaking on his knees.

"S-S-sena. Sena Kobayakawa-Parker, Dr. Banner," Sena barely managed to stutter out, voice whispery and cheeks even redder as her eyes widened.

"Kobayakawa-Parker! I should have guessed, you look the spitting image of your father!" Dr. Banner enthused cheerfully, clapping her hands together. Sena sweated under his scratchy woolen sweater-vest as every other eye threw daggers in his direction.

"Y-You kn-knew my p-parents?" he asked politely, and trying not to seem too eager at the same time. Dr. Banner frowned sadly.

"I'm sorry, I never had the pleasure of meeting them. I'm not quite that old, Mr. Parker," she teased, eyes glittering.

"K-K-K-P-Parker, ma'am," he corrected painfully. She blinked. With a slow deep inhale, he tried again, "K-Parker, Dr. Banner, ma'am. My parents both changed their names to Kobayakawa-Parker. Since it's… s-so long, I shorten it to K-Parker, but I won't drop my mother's name completely." His eyes were on his knees, but his voice was firm.

"I see, that's quite understandable." He had to lock up every muscle to keep from flinching at the pity in her voice. "Well, now that we know Mr. K-Parker, let's get to know everyone shall we? Let's see, what _did_ I do with that roll sheet?"

Sena jerked, eyes turning to the door. A second later, the door flung open and for the second time that day Sena's breath caught painfully in his throat.

Dr. Banner was one thing but… but _him_? Sena had thought maybe he'd see him here, it was well known that all the Avengers were in and out of Stark Tower all the time, but he didn't think he end up _here_. In the _same room_. All 5'10" of him. He looked so much bigger than that, ten feet tall, muscled and broad and oddly graceful with his perfect balance and poise. Shaggy dark hair fell over eyes almost the same shade, long sharp nose and a jawline that made Sena wanna weep over his own round, boyish features.

 _Captain America_. Around Sena, there were gasps and whispers, but he was too busy drinking in every moment, fingers unconsciously touching his breast pocket again.

"Rogers, what are you doing here?" Dr. Banner demanded, hands on her hips. "You know today is my orientation with the intern program!"

"I know." He nodded his head towards the students. One guy made a strangled cat noise. "However, Stark asked me to stick around and help keep an eye on them. Something about strange, curious kids who think they're smart being in a building filled with sensitive hardware," he explained with a shrug. He leaned back against a wall, arms crossed over his chest and eyes sweeping over the group of about 10 nineteen to twenty-one-year-olds.

 _Should we be offended by that?_ Sena wondered incredulously. Then, Captain America's eyes met his. No, 'met' was too tame a word. _Bore_ , _pierced,_ _lasered_ , through Sena's gaze. He shuddered all the way down to his toes and quickly looked away.

A look that like saw too much, and Sena had too much to hide.

"Fine, just… _don't touch anything_. You've been out of that ice for over two years and you _still_ break anything electronic you touch. So just… _stay there_ ," she warned, thin, delicate-looking finger jabbing at his direction. Captain America snorted and remained in place, stoically unimpressed. Dr. Banner squinted at him, then turned back to the students with a bright, joyful smile.

"Well, then! Time to do those introductions before falling head first into some _science_ , am I right?"

Sena sweatdropped as the other students chuckled weakly. Judging by the look in her eye, Dr. Banner knew exactly how cheesy that was. As she turned to pick up her clipboard, she met Sena's eye and winked so sly and quick, he wondered if he'd even seen it.

Seijuuro, called Steve Rogers by most, and Captain America by others, walked the down the hallway towards his own room early in the morning. It had been just about a week since the Banner Internship on the Study of Genetics and Biochemistry had begun, but Seijuuro had made Stark a promise. He didn't necessarily like the guy, but when he actually made sense (maybe twice out of 10 times whenever Seijurro tried to listen), he made it a point to actually comply. Within reason.

The current compliance had to deal with these college students. With Stark somewhere in Europe, overseeing the rebuilding of Sokovia—a plan thought up by Ryokan and approved by Rhodes, so Stark had been forced into it— Seijuuro had agreed to supervise the strange newcomers rather than going back to his bleakly empty and lonely apartment. Not that he was _lonely_. That was definitely not one of the reasons he'd agreed so readily.

Captain America wasn't _lonely_.

As he passed by Banner's lab, he paused hearing voices from within. F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice was of course the witty, slightly Irish-sounding monotone, but Banner's seemed… concerned. The fact she was awake so early and in the lab wasn't exactly strange, but… with the students, it seemed odd that she would have pulled an all-nighter. Which, at this hour of barely 3:30 am, would be the only logical reason for her to be awake already. He tapped his knuckles to the slightly ajar door before stepping in. The startled jump and flash of green eyes had Seijuuro's eyebrows lifting high.

"Oh, Steve, it's you," Banner gasped, a hand over her heart.

"What's happening? You're acting unusual," Seijuuro observed, the slight tightening of his mouth the only betrayal of feeling hearing that name.

"It's… I'm sure it's nothing."

"If you'll excuse me, but multiple disappearances of electronics from storage, and the strange power fluctuations that have been recorded into my sleep-mode data, are _not_ nothing, Dr. Banners," Friday interrupted, sounding as offended as a computer program could get. (For a computer program, it pulled off offended very well.)

"Multiple disappearances, you mean _thefts_. From Stark Tower?" Seijuuro demanded incredulously.

"Perhaps the students just borrowed them. I did tell them they could have free rein in certain areas," Banner protested weakly. "I was just thinking about how I could broach the subject…"

But Seijurro was already shaking his head. "If you don't know about it, then I would. I've been keeping a close eye on them. I haven't seen any of them playing around with Stark's toys. What rooms and what are the estimated times of thievery?"

"They are the lower storage rooms, the ones that are kept locked by a code only Mr. Stark or myself know," Friday clarified, bringing up video screen of the rooms in question. "The times of the breach have approximately been between half past zero-hundred hours to oh-one hundred."

"Only a thirty minute period? How is it so specific?" Seijuuro asked, glancing over at Banner.

"Friday has security footage on those doors, and during that thirty minutes of time… well," Banner waved her hand at several screens, all with the timestamp at the bottom of screen, and the same three storage rooms over the course of the past seven days. Abruptly, the screen would fuzz out, only to return to normal minutes later. Always within that single time frame.

"I have attempted several repair protocols, but none have worked," Friday added.

"It's not one of the students. Unless they can scale walls. I've been walking that hallway every night and none of them leave," Seijuuro informed, peering closer at the security footage. The screen tipped back away from him.

"Please, sir, remember Mr. Stark's minimum area of restriction," the AI warned. It sounded almost like _worry_.

"I'm not going to touch you, Friday," Seijuuro sighed. Friday hadn't spoken to him for weeks, immediately shutting down the moment Seijuuro entered a room, after the first time he'd tried to touch on of the thin, glass tablets. It had somehow ended up in tiny pieces in his hands… Then, there was the time he just tried to the use the floating 3D stuff and somehow scrambled the hollow telegramming pixies. Whatever those were.

"Wait, wait, _wait_. You're _spying_ on my students?" Banner growled irritably.

"No, I'm securing a hallway during the night. It's what Stark asked of me that I agreed to," Seijuuro explained absently. "Do you think they might be scaling the walls, Friday?"

"My students are not scaling walls or stealing obsolete electronic equipment!" Banner snapped, throwing her hands up in the air.

"There is some sign of activity along the exterior of the southern fourteenth floor," Friday related coolly. Banner and Seijuuro both gaped at the computer screen.

"What kind of activity?"

"A few of my exterior motion sensors picked up movement too fast for the human eye. It's also just outside the range of the camera at all times."

"As if they know the cameras are there," Banner muttered, biting into her thumbnail.

Seijuuro frowned. "How can they know? We don't broadcast them and Stark is too good at covering his tracks."

"They'd have to be able to sense them. And if they can sense cameras enough to avoid, then… then it's not a much farther leap to think they might be tampering with cameras downstairs and getting into the storage," Banner exhaled roughly.

Seijuuro frowned darkly. "I've failed Stark. I need to increase vigilance. So far there has been no danger, and the items stolen have not been dangerous, have they?"

"No, no of course not! They're small almost unusable items. Old, malfunctioning robotic paraphernalia, but mostly prototypes of Youichi's computer systems. Flat and LED screens, circuitry and so on. It's why I didn't think my students were doing it. We're a biochemistry and genetics internship, not _robotics_ or engineering!"

"I need to rest for a few hours. Friday, keep an eye on the students at all times. Use Stark's suspicious activity protocols and alert Banner or myself on our personal communication devices. …Banner…" Seijuuro trailed off and thrust out his arm. She blinked rapidly at him, and then rolled her eyes with a huff.

A second later, she'd securely fastened the communication watch around his wrist and set her own earpiece in her ear.

"Friday and I can handle a simple thief, Steve. Don't force yourself to work on minimum sleep."

"I know my limitations, Dr. Banner," Seijuuro retorted almost too quickly. She gazed at him, eyes slightly wide and surprised. He looked quickly away to hide the flicker of guilt. "Call in anyone free and able to come in. This may escalate if we can't identify and contain the culprit quickly. Friday, try to narrow in on where the outside breach begins and ends."

"Of course, Captain. Rest well."

Seijuuro's lip twitched. "Thank you, Friday."

"I'll call in a few more pairs of eyes now, before my apparently nefariously-minded students are up and walking the halls where we _can_ see them," Banner conceded with a small sigh, phone already in her hand and thumbs swiping over buttons without even looking.

Seijuuro nodded and then headed out. He didn't need as much sleep as the average human, not with the serum in his body making him a Super Soldier, but it didn't mean he didn't appreciate it just as much. But… maybe just one more walk-by…

He turned down the hallway again, instead of heading straight to the elevators. In the interests of privacy, the guest rooms did not have cameras inside (usually), nor were there invasive surveillance equipment set along the corridor- no heat sensors, or motion sensors, or microphones. Not that Stark hadn't wanted to, especially when he'd agreed to allow the students to intern in the Tower. However, Dr. Banner had put her foot down, calling him a paranoid jackass among many others. Boy, was Stark going to love rubbing Banner's face in this when he got back. So, while he couldn't count on any help from Friday, it didn't mean he couldn't help _himself_. Super strength, super speed, all that jazz as they used to say back home, he had all that. But he also had a pretty good set of ears these days.

Taking the hallway even slower than usual, perfectly balanced to make as little noise as possible, Seijuuro cocked his head outside each door. Most were still sleeping soundly, the sound of even, steady heartbeats in his ears. At the very end, as his shoulders began to slump and his eyes droop, there was silence.

Feet stopped dead and his eyes turned to the door. He twisted to re-count each door until his eyes fell on the door again. It shouldn't be… empty… Eyebrows crashed down into a scowl, foot rising- a clattering noise came from within, followed by the sound of a too-rapid heartbeat. Small pants and gasps of pain, muttered words Seijuuro couldn't quite make out. _What's going on in there_? Seijuuro wondered, suspicion increasing. Firm and resolute, Seijuuro stepped and knocked loudly.

Silence reigned, broken only by the muffled, rabbit-fast heartbeat on the other side. A low word, sharp and consonant heavy by the sound of it, snapped from inside. The sound of scrambling and the door opened just barely enough for a brown eye to peek out and blink sluggishly.

"… Kobayakawa-Parker," Seijuuro said aloud in realization. The brown eye widened, pupil dilating, heartbeat staccato, as the boy squeaked in shock.

"Y-You kn-know m-my n-n-n-name?!" he squawked, breathless and… awed? Not terrified? There were no signs of fear or guilt on him, only… amazement and _weariness_. A weariness Seijuuro knew too well. Those dull eyes and purple bags ringing them in a too-pale-grey face looked entirely too much like his own.

Did Seijuuro trust this boy more or less because of that?

"I heard a commotion," Seijuuro grunted. The brown eyes blinked and a weak, tired chuckle escaped the college student.

"Yeah, uh, I have insomnia, actually. I tend to distract myself with work. I'm sorry if I bothered you, Mr. Captain America, sir," Kobayakawa-Parker replied awkwardly. Surprisingly, he didn't show any signs of lying that Seijuuro had trained himself to notice.

"No need to be so formal. Just Ro… Just Captain," Seijuuro told him, startling himself, though he kept his expression carefully blank. The idea of this young boy calling him Rogers… it left a bad taste in his mouth. 'Steve' would only be worse.

The door cracked open a little wider, exposing the red terry-cloth robe- courtesy of Stark in every guest room, the ostentatious egomaniac- and more of the grey, pale face. The small mouth parted, inhaling sharp and swift, as the student gaped dumbfounded.

"K-Kay. C-Captain," he stammered. "I… I'm g-gonna t-try and sleep a little more, if I… c-could…?"

Seijuuro stood up straight and jerked a nod. "Be careful with yourself, Kobayakawa-Parker."

A bright, happy smile lit up that exhausted face. "Thanks! You're the only one who says my whole name like that, you know. So, uh, thanks for that, too. See you sometime later, I bet."

The door closed and Seijuuro stood there, just as dumbfounded as the boy had been.

He hadn't responded to a smile in this way in a long time. Not since… Not since Peggy- He broke off his reverie and stomped towards the elevators. Kobayakawa-Parker was not the only one hoping for a few hours of shut-eye before the day started.

On the other side of his door, Sena leaned against the cool wood and let his head fall back with a quiet thud. His dark eyes stared unseeing at the ceiling, heart pounding and guilt wearing him down. Had he actually lied? No, not really. But even this omission, the half-truths he looked Captain America in the eye and said, was killing him. Even saying the same to Dr. Banner wouldn't have hurt so much.

There was too much at stake, though. This was _his_ problem and he couldn't let anyone know. He winced and hissed through his teeth as he slowly shrugged out of the fancy robe he'd barely been able to fling on. Underneath, he wore only a pair of skimpy short boxer-briefs and a body littered with scrapes and bruises and burns. Trembling fingers brushed the newest bruise, a huge black-and-purple one that almost covered his entire right side. Around his ankle and lower arm large, blotchy welts, the product of electrical burns, shined an angry, painful red.

It was a day for long-sleeves again.

Sena chewed his pencil anxiously as Dr. Banner excused herself just an hour into the morning's first lecture. Considering the topic and her excitement, it was… worrisome indeed. Being situated near the back, and having zero friends, helped him lean a little further back and tilt his head towards the far away door. Just barely, he could hear their voices, minute vibrations disturbing the air.

" _I know you deserve a break after Sokovia, that you're still recovering, Riku-_ "

" _I am fine. It only a bullet, vrach."_

" _Shut up, Riku. Do not be lying with the_ Hulk _. She is knowing your damage. Why you want us to come, Hulk_?"

" _Please, Mamori is fine, you two. There's been a slight… problem with security. We're hoping to have a few more eyes. So far our best suspects are the twenty students in the room behind me._ "

" _Students? Children?_ " the female, heavily accented voice queried.

" _University students. Adults_ ," the male replied. The woman emitted a soft 'ah'. " _We can be these eyes, vrach. Is simple task."_

" _Yes, much simple!"_

" _Thank you, so much. Please, do take care and do not… try not to harm them? I'm sure they don't mean any harm whoever it is._ "

"… _they is thief._ " The two voices said it together, both mirroring the same unimpressed, deadpanned tone. Dr. Banner sighed and came back into the room.

Sena started in his chair and bent over his desk quickly, but his eyes saw nothing as they darted over his notes. Even though gene therapy was of particular interest to him, he couldn't keep his focus on Dr. Banner. Instead, his eyes kept flicking over to the two inconspicuous figures near the door. Both short and slight in stature, with identical frowns and eyes light-colored even from this angle. The girl, though, had wickedly dancing eyes with long lashes and silky black hair that fell in waves over her shoulders. The boy was darker-skinned, almost tan, with shockingly white hair that spiked up and fell over his forehead to obscure an eye. The whole time, the girl fiddled with something in her hands while the boy's foot bounced and jigged in place…

Sena could've sworn that bouncing foot moved so fast it _blurred_.

 _This just got more complicated. I don't even know which those ones_ are _!_

After that early morning conversation, Seijuuro couldn't help but search out the young-faced Kobayakawa-Parker. There were a few things he learned within one day's worth of observation, but he waited another two days to confirm it.

He was quiet, meek, and tended to fade into the background.

He struggled with his assignments more than his peers, but asked better, more insightful questions during discussion. Whenever Banner's keen gaze caught him fidgeting and frowning, because he almost never actually raised his hand himself.

He had no close confidants or friends. In fact, he seemed generally disliked by the others.

Despite their dislike, he was constantly kind, attentive, and respectful to everyone in the class; often giving up the floor for another speaker, letting them borrow notes or necessary utensils that'd they forgotten or ran out of.

He knew all of their names even though they never spoke to him beyond necessity, and never addressed _him_ by name.

He was a lot cleverer than he let on.

Seijuuro frowned as those keen eyes watched Riku and Suzuna Maximoff warily across the room. The two were sitting close together, whispering in rapid-fire Russian, and eying one of the more pompous students. One of those kinds of kids who were smart _and_ of wealthy family, and therefore thought themselves a gift to the world. Obviously the exact kind of person the Maximoffs would immediately dislike. Suzuna and Riku broke apart a moment later and the young woman of the two sauntered over towards the student, hips swinging and hair sliding over her shoulders. While he was distracted, eyes wide and Adam's apple bobbing as she leaned close and placed her fingers to his chest, Riku moved. _Moved_ -moved. Quicksilver speed utilized, off his bench and back, all while smirking innocently. Suzuna moved away, winking, and the student moved to follow.

Only to crash to the ground, shoelaces tied together.

Crude, juvenile, and effective. As all the other students burst into laughter, or rushed to help depending on the person, Seijuuro saw the twins discreetly high-five.

Kobayakawa-Parker snorted, eyes glittering with laughter, but he wasn't looking at the student (who'd taunted and ignored and interrupted the quieter boy often over the past ten days). No, Kobayakawa-Parker was looking _at the twins_.

Could he… Had he _seen_ Quicksilver _move_?

Seijuuro's dark eyes narrowed on the back of innocent-looking boy's head.

Sena cringed, the all-too familiar chilly tingle rushing down his spine. Subtly, he glanced around the outside dining area and the fancy-schmancy picnic tables. Almost everyone was gathered around Arnold Philmort III, and the twins were snickering behind their cups of steaming coffee. So who…?

He glanced under the fringe of his bangs and blanched, barely keeping his body from cringing. Because _Captain friggin' America was glaring at him_! Did he think _Sena_ had played that trick on Arnold? He hadn't been anywhere _near_ Philmort! He shoved a mouthful of sandwich in his mouth, chewing furiously. So busy was he trying to shrink away from that glare, he didn't notice the other movement towards him.

"This one miss nothing," joked Riku. Obviously Riku with that accented male voice.

Sena spluttered, choking on turkey and rye and hands tearing his sandwich into pieces.

"This one mess everything, too," Suzuna teased, flopping onto the bench next to him. "Why are you lonely, Sena Kobayakawa-Parker?" Her strong Russian accent butchered his name, but she was smiling so pleasantly and cheerfully Sena couldn't help but blush. He squeaked and blushed more as Riku sat on his other side.

Their eerily similar pleasant smiles had chills running up his spine and he was feeling _distinctly_ trapped.

"I-I-I'm not l-lonely," Sena stammered painfully. Suzuna's eyebrows hopped up to her hairline. With an obvious swivel of her head, she indicated the exactly zero other students nearby. His shoulders hunched up around his ears as he shrunk further into himself. "I-I'm a l-little sh-shy."

"I am not believing that is the truth."

"I am!" Sena objected loudly. Riku smirked as Suzuna giggled. Sena merely pouted at the tattered remains of his sandwich. "W-Well, I _am_."

"I am thinking it is because they are not liking you. So you keep lonely on purpose," Suzuna observed astutely. Sena sighed softly and picked at his lunch remains.

"The true question is _why_ are they not liking you? We is knowing your name, and so they must be knowing it, too," Riku stated, leaning back on his hands and looking upward with an uninterested, bored expression. "How strange that they is not wanting to be friends with famous scientist son."

"Scientist _s_. Both of my parents were famous," Sena muttered irritably. He swept his lunch into the paper sack it came from and got to his feet. "And they don't like me because I'm not half the scientists they were. I'm just _me_."

Riku and Suzuna watched him walk away, their affected disinterest gone and their eyes grave.

" **Suspect number one** ," Riku muttered under his breath in their Sokovian dialect. Suzuna nodded, but her teeth tugged her bottom lip into her mouth.

Some ways behind them, Seijuuro scoffed quietly and went inside. He didn't actually understand Riku's words, but he could figure out what they meant easily enough. He'd only spoken aloud what Seijuuro hadn't been able to bring himself to say.

Sena Kobayakawa-Parker was easily the most suspicious. Keeping to himself, fading to the background, pretending to be stupider than he was—he was trying too hard to hide. The thing was… _what_ was he hiding? Even though logic pointed towards something _rogue_ , Seijuuro still held himself back. There was something about the scientists' son, something dangerous in a completely different way.

After his weird "chat" with the twins- Suzuna and Riku, he reminded himself- Sena had been a little more careful. He knew they were watching him. The thefts of the storage rooms had finally been caught, despite all his efforts to prevent it. It was coming to a decision time and it hurt every single one of his instincts. He had to give up something- his night time activities, or the internship with _Dr. Mamori Banner_. It was everything he'd been wanting, for _years_. It was difficult and frustrating, but _amazing_. He'd never had another experience like it, and dropping out in the middle without a good excuse could seriously damage his future college career, even his _actual_ career.

But stopping his other actions… letting someone else take over before he was done. No, that was impossible.

With Captain America, Quicksilver, _and_ Scarlet Witch on his tail though (yeah, it had taken a few hours of untraceable research via an associate of his, but he'd figured out just who the twins were and their newly-minted aliases), he'd need to finish quickly.

Like _tonight_ kind of quickly.

The explosion had the entire Tower shaking. Lights were flashing and alarms ringing. In the storage area, where Seijuuro had taken to going the past week but _still_ hadn't caught a peek of any nocturnal visitors, the explosion was the loudest. He had to brace himself against the wall as the floor bucked wildly beneath his feet. In his ear, his comm crackled to life.

" _THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY TOWER, FUCKING JOLLY GREEN?"_ an irate sounding Stark blasted into Seijuuro's ear. He growled and barely restrained the urge to rip the damn thing from his ear. Pushing himself off the wall, the fully armored Avenger rushed towards the epicenter. Somehow the thief had changed his hit. It was much further in— _in the labs_. Where the discarded or in-process-of-upgrading arc reactors were being stored.

" _Don't you shout at me!_ " Banner snarled, the deep growl of the Hulk slipping into her vocal folds. " _The burglar escalated past our projected hypothesis-"_

" _Shut up with your mumbo-jumbo bullshit, Mamori! What the_ fuck _do you mean_ burglar _?_ "

"I'm already on it-" a blur rushed past him so fast he almost lost his balance again "as is Quicksilver," Seijuuro interjected before they started their 'foreplay' as Hawkeye had teased at the last 'Assembly.

" _Damn fucking right you're already on it, Captain Tightass. Shut it down NOW! I don't another Sokovia before I'm done cleaning up the first one!_ " The comm fizzled out as Banner cursed colorfully.

"Dr. Banner, do you need to remain upstairs?" he asked pointedly.

" _No, damn it, no. I'm on my way down with Scarlet. Keep us updated._ "

" _Do not be letting my brother be shot again,_ _**Kapitan**_."

Seijuuro picked up speed without a reply. Not that it was even necessary, he skidded to a stop beside Quicksilver just inside the labs. Glass glittered like ice on the ground, some of it twisted and melted and still smoking noxiously. Cracks spidered the walls and floors, small and large craters pocking the surfaces. Tables and chairs were in pieces, hollow telegramming projectors now smoldering, warped debris, and Stark's handful of helperbots dented and sparking where their wires and circuits were exposed.

"Friday?" Seijuuro raised his voice, stepping into the room, Quicksilver next to him.

"I am h-here, s-sir," Friday sputtered and fuzzed.

"Is the computer break?" Riku asked, bending down to examine the melted glass stuck to the ground.

"N-no, the sp-sp-sp… _kkssshhh_ … the speakers in th-this r-r-r-oom are c-c-c-c-ompromised, s-s-sir," Friday crackled.

"Please tell me the security foota-"

"A-A-Also c-c-c-compromised, s-sir."

Quicksilver cursed fluently in Russian-whatever. Behind them came the thundering steps of Banner and Scarlet Witch.

"Oh my God," Dr. Banner gasped. Her wide blue eyes took in the scene, a hand in front of her mouth. Scarlet Witch narrowed her eyes and red shimmering light wrapped around the pieces of glass Quicksilver was looking at. Wrists and fingers beckoning and twining through the misty red air, she brought the pieces closer.

"What is making glass do _this_?"

"That takes a _lot_ of heat, but there… there isn't very much fire damage. Just a few spots, over there, and there…" Banner gestured towards the few blackened spots scattered around the room.

"Quicksilver, give the area a sweep," Seijuuro ordered briskly. The kid rolled his eyes but took off, all three of them flinching when his passing whipped their hair or clothes around them.

" _Yo, you are coming now. You need to be seeing this_." Though the words were cryptic, Quicksilver's tone was bleeding baffled amusement.

The remaining three hurried through the labs, Seijuuro easily jumping over rubble through an enormous hole in the wall. On the other side, the dozen or so of Stark's vehicles were lined up neatly in their spaces. None of them seemed to be disturbed. Just at the entrance (re: giant hole) Quicksilver stood chuckling into his fist. Seijuuro snapped his head up, following Quicksilver's gaze.

Above them, knocked out cold, was a chubby, patchy-red-faced man.

Completely encased in…

"Is that… _web_?" Dr. Banner mused, her head tilting to the side in confusion. "It looks like _spider web_."

"Is that meaning a _giant spider_ is creeping here!?" Scarlet Witch shrieked, hands glowing crimson as she glanced around.

"I doubt a giant spider fights guys that can melt glass and destroy almost indestructible metal," Seijuuro replied dryly, stepping closer.

The man in the white cocoon grunted and moaned, squirming in his upside down cage. His eyes snapped open and he struggled harder and harder, wiggling like a worm on a hook and eyes flashing bolts of lightning.

"Ohhh, that explains the glass. You've been stealing electronics machinery, haven't you?" Dr. Banner asked, index finger pointing upward and realization lighting up her face.

" _Get me the fuck down, lady!_ " growled the man as more blood rushed to his face. For a brief moment, his whole body lit up with tiny, dancing bolts of lightning.

They all stepped back. Scarlet Witch 'tsk'ed and threw up her hands. A ruby-red aura surrounded him and her hands stroked the air. He gasped wildly, struggling faster, until he collapsed. The crimson faded to expose the limply unconscious man. With a quiet snap, the cocoon's anchoring thread broke and the whole thing, man included, fell, hard, to the garage floor.

"Well, that was quite anticlimactic," Dr. Banner said with a sharp clap of her hands. "Riku, the students, if you please. Suzuna, the alarms. Steve, grab the prisoner and come with me to _my_ labs. We need to start up reparations to the labs and the garage once he's been placed in a secure cell until SHIELD can retrieve him. And call Stark, I suppose," Dr. Banner sighed, fingertips to her temple.

"I would prefer sweeping the labs." But he hefted the large man up onto a shoulder with a grunt.

"What we is doing about the giant spider that is not?" Quicksilver asked, already poised to run.

"Stock up on giant flyswatters until we can figure out what it really it," Dr. Banner quipped with a snicker. The rest deadpanned at her back, unimpressed and unamused.

Riku raced through the hallway. Most of the students were milling there, grouped up and whispering and trembling in the pajamas.

All but the one Riku really cared about.

He burst into Sena Kobakayawa-Parker's room, aqua eyes darting over every corner and surface, body following to check under others.

Sena Kobakayawa-Parker was nowhere to be found.

"The giant spider that is not…?" Riku murmured under his breath questioningly.

Sena hissed as Aunt May wrapped the Ace bandage around his waist and torso tightly. Her green eyes flicked up, and her mouth thinned, but she didn't stop her work or say a word. When she finished with the worst of it, she carefully and gently dabbed at the large electric burns on his body with ointment from the first aid kit.

"Oh, Sena, this is _dangerous_. You could've died," she whispered.

"I have to, Aunt May. You know I-"

She shook her head to cut him off. His voice tapered off and he dropped his head, shoulders slumped.

"There, I'm finished. Must you really go back to that place?"

"It's _Stark Tower_ , Aunt May! It's not _that place_ ," Sena objected, pulling a shirt over his head as he winced and gritted his teeth. She closed the box with a snap, then left her hands lying limply on top.

"Don't you put yourself through enough? Can't you just _rest_? A little? This mission you've put yourself in, it's too much for you. You're barely a man, Sena. Please, the world isn't your responsibility. I know- knew my husband. He never would have meant this," she pleaded quietly. Sena bit his lip, fingers curling into fists.

He'd kept his secret for several months before Aunt May found out, but she was the only one in his life who _knew_ him. The only person he could ever trust. When he'd been beaten too badly to help himself, he'd stumbled into the living room after his worst standoff against the Green Goblin. He had put off explaining everything for a couple days while recuperating, but she'd eventually sat him down and _demanded_ an May hadn't looked at him for an entire 48 hours after his teary confession on the truth behind Uncle Ben's death. Forty-eight hours of grief and whatever anger she'd had, before she slipped into his room and held him close while they cried together through the night. She'd been his stalwart, his rock, and his nurse ever since, even though after the worst of it, she always did _this_.

"I know the world isn't my responsibility. I'm just me, but… but New York is," he replied fiercely and passionately. More passionately than he had felt about anything else in his life, even science.

And like every time, Aunt May got to her feet, kissed his forehead, and cleaned up the mess.

"I'll be here for you, sweetheart," she murmured over her shoulder.

Sena nodded, staring at his hands. Gradually, wincing, he twisted enough to dig a set of cards out of his back pocket. Four of them. The first had been sent in a sealed envelope to the _Daily Bugle_. The last two had been handed to him. The first had three claw marks drawn jagged and diagonally across the front. The second a fist of sand. The third, forks of blue lightning. He flicked at the lightning card before finally getting a good look at the fourth. Just what looked like... grey fog. And a single purple question mark in the middle. He frowned and tucked them away out of sight. Then, with a bracing slap to his cheeks, stuffed his feet in his shoes, snagged up his pack, and swung out the window after a quick wrist flick.

"The man you handed over is Maxwell Muro. He's an electrician, an everyday lineman. Some nobody who dropped out of high school when he lost his soccer scholarship into college. Something about a violent altercation and hate crimes, it looks like," recited Agent Wakana-Hill, eyebrows high and mouth turned down.

"He looks like a little shit," Hawkeye, a.k.a. Takeru Barton, chirped from over her shoulder. Her shoulders jerked up just before she sent a glare in his direction.

"Continue the missive, Agent," drawled the nonchalant-sounding Director Fury. His glasses glinted even through the video feed.

"Oh, y-yes, sorry, sir. Won't happen _again_ , sir," she snarled, body jerking again. This time, Takeru yelped and fell out of the screen, laughing and groaning. "As I was saying, there was notice made of an accident on the job several months back and then he mysteriously disappeared. Just days after said disappearance, the _Daily Bugle_ , a smaller newspaper office in Brooklyn, started publishing articles about a person called Spiderman, whom was blamed for multiple crimes but later was proven to be committed an unknown man, who called himself Electro. There are a few eye witness accounts of the alarming ways he can control what _looked_ to be lightning, as well as power lines. Spiderman was proven innocent and is still unidentified and at large."

"If they caught this _Electro_ , what is he doing _here_?" Dr. Banner asked.

"He _wasn't_ caught. He and Spiderman sustained great injuries and disappeared after some sort of showdown occurred," Agent Wakana-Hill clarified. "There are not enough details to confirm or deny that Maxwell Muro, whom he have, is the same as this Electro vigilante."

"I protest the use of _vigilante_. A lot of us Avengers _are_ basically vigilantes," Barton called out from off screen.

"Unimportant." Director Fury gestured with his hand as he stood. "What _is_ important is finding this Spiderman. There are a few photos in that same paper of this particular masked crusader. He employs what appears to be the very same substance found in Stark labs. You need to find him and bring him into Avengers' headquarters for a briefing. We cannot allow vigilantes to be running around the city unchecked and stirring up trouble. Working together is the only feasible way to retain the government's trust and support of our Initiative. Is that clear?" His bespectacled gaze turned to them, one eye a flashing brown, the other patched.

"Understood," replied the Avengers currently assembled.

"Good. Barton, contact Romanov. I know she's enjoying her vacation in France. It needs to end, now. Stark and Rhodes are already en route."

"Oh-uh, sir, is that necessary? Surely the Sokovian situation is more dire," Dr. Banner protested weakly.

"No. Potts more than has it handled, along with his own assistant Komusubi, who are both far better liked and trusted than _Iron Man_ , right now. Stark complained more than once that his presence has been unwanted from day one thanks to their continued association with their country being dropped by a robot made by his tech," Fury informed them, mouth smirking wryly—betraying just how amusing Stark's discomfort was to him. "Vision is somewhere in the Himalayas, but I can round up the rest. Who knows if this Muro is going to be the last to attack the headquarters? He won't regain consciousness long enough to say anything. Something about Hawkeye is intimidating him. Which is… _disappointing_."

"We'll have our comms on at all times. What threat level, Director?" Seijuuro asked, scowling pensively.

"… Orange. Body armor at all times. For those who need it." That flashing eye darted to Dr. Banner, smirk widening, before the screens went dark.

"I am having something to say," Quicksilver said, stepping forward, arms crossed and feet shoulder-width apart.

"Right now, Riku? My lectures are about to begin any minute and last I heard, my students are terrified and _no longer suspects_ ," she added pointedly, green eyes glowing on Seijuuro's unrepentant face.

"One still is, _vrech_ ," Quicksilver disagreed with a headshake.

Seijuuro could feel the name forming as Quicksilver's mouth moved.

"Sena Kobayakawa-Parker."

"What? No! How? We _have_ the culprit in SHIELD custody! How could Sena be a suspect?!" Dr. Banner cried, slamming both hands on her desk. The metal dented under her palms. Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch shared a look, faces a little pale, before he turned back to Banner.

"He was not… being in his room. When I is doing sweep that _Kapitan_ order," Quicksilver explained.

"He could've just taken a walk outside, or something. They aren't _prisoners_ and he's told me himself he has problems with insomnia."

 _Smarter than he acts,_ Seijuuro acknowledged internally. He ignored the dip of pride in his chest.

"Friday," Seijuuro grunted.

"Yes, sir?"

"Have any persons walked through any of the exits, or taken the elevators from the fourteenth floor to the first? Or back again for that matter?"

Banner stared over at him helplessly.

"No, sir. Nothing other than the already noted movements of the Avengers, sir. And the usual electronic malfunctions in the lower floors. When it disturbed the laboratory floors, I had no sensor readings to warn me. I noticed the glitch and attempted to reconnect, until the explosion interrupted my attempts and the external impact alarm sounded without my interference."

"What about the exterior sensors? The ones outside the building that had been noticing movements during the late evening and early morning hours?"

"No, sir, nothing last night or this morning."

"It would probably be easier to stay inside the building if he knew where this guy would be…" Rogers muttered. "But how?"

"You don't think… Sena is… _scaling the outside walls_?" Banner gasped, aghast.

"Tonight is inside, maybe. Air… ducks?" Quicksilver mused.

"The air ducts!?" Banner repeated, voice breaking and pitchy at the end.

"A spider is doing these things, yes? And the paper, it talks of a _Spider_ man and he is using web. Can he be the same crawling on walls, too?" Scarlet Witch noted seriously.

"I will search through what available sensors data I have within the correlating air ducts," Friday informed them.

"S-Sena? He's a _scientist_. The son of _scientists_. He is quiet and sweet and timid. There's no way he's secretly a masked vigilante that spits web from his-his _mouth_ or something!" Banner protested angrily.

"Is that feelings talking, or is it scientist?" Quicksilver inquired adroitly.

Banner 'tched' rudely and spun on her heel. The door slammed behind her. The remaining three locked eyes and sighed wearily.

"Captain, sir?" Friday interjected calmly.

"Go ahead," he muttered, waving a hand.

"There are not enough sensors within the walls themselves to be of much use, but a few did pick up readings of something larger than the average vermin passing through. I followed the traces and found them above the storage corridor before you walked your first round. You will find these pertinent," Friday narrated, opening a security feed as she spoke.

In the video, instead of the strange fuzzing white-out, something shot over the lens, covering it completely. Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch both jerked back in surprise. Seijuuro's eyes narrowed. A few other feeds opened, all showing the hallway until they were just as abruptly obscured within a few seconds of the first video.

"Wh-what _is_ that being?" Scarlet Witch murmured, fingers brushing the screens. "It is looking like…"

"Web. It looks like more web," Seijuuro grunted.

"Giant spider must be thinking electric man is going there again. When he not be finding him-"

"He took off after him to the labs,' Seijuuro finished. He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled roughly. "I'll go get a better look at it myself. Thanks, Friday."

"Of course, sir."

"Sena, good morning. You're looking a little peaky," Dr. Banner said from just beyond his blind spot. He jerked and spun around, hands raising with palms open, fingers splayed. Only the same quick reflexes kept him from spitting web at her. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!"

"It's… It's b-been a long night," Sena murmured, dropping his hands and ignoring the screaming pain in his torso from his sudden motion.

"And the early morning alarm, too. That couldn't have helped," Dr. Banner said sympathetically.

His mouth opened to reply, but he froze. Just lurking in her guileless blue eyes was something… _expectant._ "N-No, I w-wasn't here for th-that, D-D-Dr. Banner. I l-left at l-least an hour earlier… f-for b-b-bagels. And a w-walk."

"Your insomnia again, Sena?" Dr. Banner inquired, honestly concerned as that _look_ disappeared.

 _Crisis averted_. "Y-Yeah. P-Pretty bad. N-No one w-was hurt, right?"

"That's right. Just some of Stark's toys. After he yells and throws some more stuff around, though, he'll have fun putting it all back together. Perhaps I should thank those deviants for finding the perfect way to distract him," Dr. Banner laughed.

"D-Deviants?"

"Not to worry. You focus on today's assignments, okay? I know you need all the attention you can possibly get for it. I'm also sure you'll amaze me once you get it done," she praised, beaming and proud. He ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Th-Thanks, D-Dr. B-Banner. That m-means a lot."

"I don't give out unwarranted compliments, Mr. K-Parker. Keep up the good work."

He watched her go, relief settling his shoulders and curving his spine. The little bit of warmth that bloomed in his chest at her words got him through the next few hours of his day.

Mamori sank into her chair behind her desk and dropped her forehead into her hand. Sena had already bent back over his work alone while the rest of the students whispered and muttered amongst themselves. She was proud of all her students' work, they were all working so hard, even after the events of that morning, but…the blatant ostracizing of one of their own, based solely on their envy of his _name_ , _did_ have her a little more than disappointed. They were supposed to be cultivating camaraderie and partnerships, which they all did so well, except for K-Parker, whom never tried to force his company on anyone and whom everyone else decided not to get to know. It was probably why she had grown to like the kid so much; she had a major soft spot for 'the underdog' trope, in literature, movies, _and_ life.

Suzuna sidled up to her and perched on her desk, eyebrow rising. "Well?"

"It didn't add up. Tell them to do what they will," Mamori admitted with a sigh, heart breaking as she glanced towards Sena's downturned face and lonely figure. Suzuna placed her fingers to her earpiece and muttered in low Sokovian. Riku's voice replied sharp and eager before it fizzled out again.

"At least he is not being the thief, Dr. Banner," Suzuna tried to console, patting Mamori's back awkwardly. Mamori couldn't help but quirk up a smile.

"Thanks, Miss Maximoff. Please, call me Mamori," she offered, sitting full upright. Her eyes narrowed inquisitively. "How are you doing so far? I was surprised when you refused to return to Sokovia with Youichi, to be honest."

"I like America. I like hot dogs and soda. I like not being in a little room. I like being _Scarlet Witch_ , as your angry man is calling me," Suzuna explained, looking down at her hands with a too-nonchalant voice. Mamori frowned in confusion.

"My angry man? Who is… do you mean _Fury_? The Director Fury?" Mamori blurted, pressing her fingertips to her mouth to keep from laughing.

"Yes, the Fury man. Your boss, yes?" Suzuna agreed with a nod.

Mamori looked towards her own paperwork, shuffling it a bit to keep her hands occupied, controlling her need to laugh in an effort not to offend her new friend. "Does that mean you'll stay here, in New York, with us?" Mamori asked when she'd found her control.

Suzuna waved her hand, fingers beckoning, levitating the few bits of flotsam and decorative jetsam on her desk. Pencil, paperweight, paper clips, spare spectacles floated lazily in a small ring of crimson. Mamori wondered if fiddling with her telekinesis-like powers was the same as Mamori chewing a pen, or wrapping her hair around her finger- an unconsciously-done nervous habit.

"I am thinking… I am thinking my brother and I will be staying. Sokovia has nothing for us now. Bad memories only linger there. So many dead and there is nothing we can do. America has much chances, not so many dead. No little rooms we cannot leave. Is better here," Suzuna murmured quietly, _sincerely_ , her words heavy with emotions Mamori could never truly understand.

Smiling softly, Mamori laid her hands over Suzuna's, ignoring the prickle of red awareness on her skin. Suzuna glanced up, startled by the easy comfort.

"You are always welcome here. And if you get tired of being Stark's roommate, I can help you find your own place out there."

"W-What if…" Suzuna licked her dry lips and lowered her eyes. "What if I am not wanting to be Scarlet Witch? After a year, or two, or ten?"

"If you leave the Avengers _tomorrow_ , you will still be welcome wherever I am. I would like to think we're friends, or at least on our way there, Miss Maximoff."

Suzuna blinked and then slowly, brightly, smiled. "Yes, Dr. Banner, _Mamori_ , I am wanting this, too. We are friends. You may be calling me Suzuna, if you is wishing."

"That's fantastic, _Suzuna_."

Riku chewed a minty toothpick, hands shoved deep in his pockets, as Rogers checked his hand-drawn map and then stared around them. Riku knew, _objectively_ , that the man had just spent a couple decades trapped in an iceberg or something, but still. Shouldn't he be able to grasp the basic concept of google? Using cell phones? With a shrug to himself, the Sokovian expat patiently waited for Rogers to re-orient himself. A few minutes later, they were finally at the offices of the _Daily Bugle_. Inside the Brooklyn newspaper office was just as grey as it was outside, with bleak, tiny cubicles, weary-faced men and women in office casual, and mugs of coffee by every computer (which looked about twenty years old. Even Sokovia had better, newer models than some of these). They made their way towards the walled and doored office in the back. Every pair of eye turned towards them curiously, reminding Riku that they were in a room full of _reporters_. Sure enough, a few of them were already mouthing Rogers' name and blushing tomato-red.

The back of Rogers' knuckles tapped the frosted, bubbled glass panel in the door. In neat, though faded, bronze lettering read **J. Jonah Jameson.**

"What is it? Don't just stand there with your thumbs in your asses, get in here!" snapped a raspy, deep-voiced man from the other side. Rogers' brows contracted low over his nose, face thunderous with annoyance, but Riku merely smirked. The image the propaganda made of Captain America—bleeding red, white, and blue, spouting optimism, and pissing freedom—wasn't half so much fun as the real one—growly, angry, scowly robot-man that he was. They pushed their way into the office, the door creaking and sticking. " _Well_?" the man grunted; an older man with silver hair and perfectly groomed mustache in an ungroomed, coffee-stained white button-up with slackened red tie.

"We're here about the pictures you have of the Spiderman in your newspaper," Rogers grunted, equally as irritable.

"Ha," barked Mr. Jameson. "You and everyone else knocking on my door. You can _forget_ it. I hate the Tarzen-swinging menace, but my sales have been skyrocketing. I ain't givin' you the name of the photographer, so turn your uptight asses around and _out_." He pulled out a cigar from a wooden box on his desk and went through the exacting process of lighting it up.

Riku curled his lip distastefully. Even as… _superhuman_ as he was, smoke could still mess with his lungs and he _liked_ running, it was his friggin' livelihood. He could not tolerate even the smell of smoke, especially of heavy _cigar_ smoke.

"I don't want to steal your photographer. I just need to talk to him," Rogers growled, eyes flashing.

Jameson squinted, puffing around his stogie, before slowly lowering it from his mouth. Holding it expertly between his two fingers, he jabbed them in Rogers' direction. "Don't I know you, Mr. Broody? I'm good with faces and I _know_ yours."

"It doesn't matter. Just tell me the photographer's name."

"How many times do I gotta say it to get through your cromagnon skull? No. How 'bout in Spanish? _No_. In Russian? _Nyet_. I know some choice swear words to go with it, if you'd like."

"If you don't tell us, I'll have my associates come here and get it by less than pleasant means than me _asking politely_ for it," Rogers gritted out.

"You're threatening _me_ , pretty boy? I've had a lot worse from a lot worse'n you. Get outta my office unless you bring in boys in blue and a warrant. What do you even want with a stupid part-timer with a lucky, quickdraw shutter finger anyhow?" he snorted and leaned back in his creaking chair, cigar clamped between his teeth.

"Part time?" Riku queried, laying on his accent extra thick and putting on his most guilelessly confused expression. Rogers leveled a look on him, but Jameson merely chortled around his stogie.

"Got ourselves a FOB? A part timer, kid, means he only comes in with a picture every now and then, doesn't clock in. Just gets paid for what he gives me. Stupid kid got himself signed into some smarty-pants internship, something to do with science. I don't get him—"

Riku barreled out the door while the crusty old man talked, zipping along the cubicles with eyes darting over every nameplate and propping open and closed every drawer. His speed wasn't even wind rushing past them. Not until he came to a stop back at Jameson's door, a peeling plastic namecard in hand, and the vacuum in his wake filled with a rush of air that had papers flying and hair mussing.

"He turns down _MIT_ , goes to Columbia instead, and Columbia's a good school, don't get me wrong, but he turns down _MIT_ just to stay in this shithole. He talks about how much he's got responsibilities, but I think it's his auntie. A little ole lady all alone in Brooklyn is a newspaper article waiting to happen and I bet my last Cuban he knows that. Still, full-ride to MIT, and he sticks around here to follow around a spandex-wearing criminal with delusions of grandeur," Jameson prattled on, tapping the ash off the end of his cigar and shaking his head.

Leaning against the door jamb, Riku tossed the name plate in the air, watching it flip, and leisurely caught it.

"This is being he, yes?" Riku asked, smirking smugly at Jameson's gaping mouth, cigar barely sticking to his bottom lip.

"What-how- _when_ \- you're one of them freaks ain'tcha!?" Jameson spluttered, cussing and jumping up as his cigar fell to his khaki-clad lap. Riku narrowed his eyes, arrogance eclipsed by bitterness.

"Freak? I is hearing this word many times, and I _very_ not like it. Watch your tongue, Mr. Jameson. You is not seeing me before I is rip it out," he advised with a fake pleasant smile curving his lips while his eyes glinted dangerously.

"You can't come in here, zipping around and using your _freak_ powers in my office and threaten me! This is America, you Commi bastard," Jameson bellowed, face apoplectic with rage.

"Just answer the question, is-" Rogers broke off, brown eyes widening when he caught sight of the bold, black type on the bronze-colored plate. "You're joking. That was _here_?" he demanded, snatching it from Riku's proffered hand. Riku rolled his eyes.

"No, I am just bringing this with me. Of course I am finding it here. It is being one of two names on one desk. Part timer not be having his _own_ desk, yes? So, when I am seeing _this_ name share with another, I am knowing it is important. No meaning in… ah… the word is being… _coincidence_ , yes? No meaning in coincidence," Riku explained standing up straight and shoving his hands in his pockets again, grinning ear to ear. He felt like a bloodhound finally catching scent of the fox just barely eluding him. _He felt hungry_ this close to the end of the chase. He always did when he felt like he was winning—a game, a test, a race (never lost those, ever, even before he had full control of his speed).

Rogers stared at the name plate, nostrils flaring and eyes wide, before spinning on his heel and slapping the little plaque on Jameson's desk so hard, cracks splintered the surface.

" _You will tell me if this is the boy taking pictures of the Spiderman, Mr. Jameson_ ," Rogers seethed, his voice containing a sub-vocal roar that even had Riku shivering in his boots.

"Y-Yes, okay? _Yeah_ , it's K-Parker. He's been chasing after this guy since high school. He's the best in the business and he's _my_ contact, don't think you can scout him out from under me," Jameson conceded, sweat dripping down his temple even as he gathered up what was left of his bravado.

"We don't need a photographer, Jameson. We need the Spiderman," Rogers snapped coolly. He turned back towards the door and Riku jumped to attention, saluting cheekily.

"Back to the Tower, _Kapitan_?"

"Stop being a showoff."

Riku guffawed outright and slapped Rogers' back. "Do not be asking the impossible, _Kapitan_."

"Kapitan? _Captain?_ " Jameson exhaled incredulously. Rogers ran a hand of his face as Riku groaned, neither missing a step or slowing down. Jameson stood in his office doorway, hands braced on each side of the entrance, face flushed red once more. " _I knew I knew your face_! That's the motherfuckin' _Captain America_ , you slackjawed twits."

"Am I chopped meat?" Riku complained as he hit the elevator button.

"Chopped liver. The expression is chopped liver," Rogers corrected tersely.

"Is meat, yes? What being the difference?" Riku shrugged.

"Why are you here, Captain America?"

"Who is your associate? Another Avenger, sir?"

"What do you want with Sena Koboyaka-Parker?"

Rogers and Riku stepped into the elevator and Rogers slammed the door close button. "Anyone steps in here, I'll throw you back out," he warned dangerously. The crowd of reporters froze, eyes wide and mouths falling open. The doors closed and Rogers slumped back against the back wall.

Riku snorted derisively. "They is being bad reporters. Should not they be knowing their _part timer_ name? Koboyaka. _Tch_."

"There are too many coincidences around Kobayakawa-Parker. Dr. Banner won't be able to argue it now."

Riku nodded, mouth firmly into a thin line. It kinda sucked, he liked the quiet kid (who was his own age, but semantics). But well… if K-Parker was the Spiderman… maybe it wouldn't be so bad, and that's what everything seemed to be heading to. Riku pictured the timid, quavering little shrimp in his head and forced down the urge to laugh at the image of him spitting webs around and cocooning asshats with lightning skin. But then again… those dark eyes saw a little too much… and Riku had seen and heard for himself a hint of steel in the kid's voice, seen how aloof and separate he held himself from others.

Yeah, maybe it wasn't so humorous an image to believe.

"The web is coming from _where_?" Riku muttered.

A strangled, snorting sound had Riku jerking his head around to see Rogers' face buried in his broad hand, the tip of his ears red. Riku scoffed, lips thinning, until the laughter won, bursting and bubbling out of him in gales of mirth. Together, they laughed, heads tilted back, as the elevator fell the last few floors to the lobby floor.

Lunch was minutes away when he scrambled to put all his work away neatly, stifling yawns and hiding winces. His ribs were still sore and probably cracked. Lying down quietly in his room and letting his body do its thing was a glorious dream that was barely a sandwich away.

Hair on the back of his neck stood up just before a hand fell on his shoulder.

"Good morning, Kobayakawa-Parker. We need to talk," Captain America rumbled. Sena cringed and grimaced.

"R-Right now?" The Captain's hand tightened and Sena squeaked. "Okay, right now!"

The rest of the students eyed them warily, some jealously, but walked out the door. Leaving Sena with the four Avengers of Stark Tower, all grim-faced and stern.

"H-Hi?"

"It's time we talk about your night time activities, Sena K-Parker," Dr. Banner said from where she sat behind her desk. Her hands were clasped in front of her and her face carefully neutral. Sena felt sweat bead his upper lip and palms.

"Uh… th-that's a l-little p-personal," Sena stammered. Riku and Suzuna Maximoff abruptly broke into red-faced snickers. Sena flushed from head to toe as both the Captain and Dr. Banner sighed. "N-Not like _th-that! That's n-not wh-what I m-m-meant!_ " Sena exclaimed, hands wildly gesticulating.

"Yes, Sena, I know that's not what you meant. However, these two are _barely older than children_ , apparently. Forgive them their… immaturities," Dr. Banner drawled with a pointed look in their direction.

They reined in their laughter so quickly it looked painful.

"Just where were you this morning?" Captain America brusquely demanded. Sena jumped, shoulders rising.

"M-Me? I t-told D-Dr. B-Banner. I went t-to get a b-bagel-"

Dr. Banner made a sharp cutting gesture with her hand. "I am a _very_ intelligent person, Parker. Do not insult me." Her dropping the informality was as telling as the tone.

"K-Parker," Sena blurted automatically. He barreled on before he could incur her legendary wrath as well as her insight. "I d-don't why you'd th-think I'd lie t-to you."

"Because there is no record of you leaving the building!" Captain America snapped, eyes narrowing. Sena wobbled back on his heels, but kept his shoulder even and his eyes straight ahead. He stood like a soldier, only his clenching fists giving him away.

"Stark is a notoriously paranoid individual, Mr. K-Parker," Dr. Banner leaned forward on her elbows, fingers interlaced and her chin balanced on top. "He has sensors and cameras on every entrance and exit into Stark Towers. They're also in every nook and cranny of the laboratories and garage. His cars are as precious as his robots and guns, after all," she huffed with an eyeroll. "We've checked with the building AI. Say hello to Friday, Mr. K-Parker. Go on, right now."

"… H-Hello?" he ventured, his face twisting up in confusion as his eyes darted around the room.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Kobayakawa-Parker," spoke a pretty, Irish-accented woman's voice. He yelped and jumped back onto the balls of his feet, hands splayed at his sides, eyes darting around even faster.

" _What is that_ \- is that a _computer_?"

"That is much too simple an idea to explain _me_ , Mr. Kobayakawa-Parker. I am a specially designed Artificial Intelligence program, made by and exclusively for the use of one Tony Youichi Stark. The current CEO and head of Stark Industries."

"Is sounding like bragging to me," Riku muttered under his breath. He and his sister still looked a little bent out of shape about the immaturity comment.

"You move like one of us," Captain America grumbled, arms crossed and face scowling. "Vigilant and ready."

"W-What?"

" _Mr. Kobayakawa-Parker_ , I said _do not_ insult my intelligence, and I hope you would extend the courtesy to my associates. You are obviously lying. Unless you can turn invisible and walk through walls without _noticing_ , I very much doubt you managed to leave this morning without showing up on sensors and cameras. You will explain yourself to us," Dr. Banner interjected in a harsh, angry tone.

"I…" Sena gulped, throat constricting. "I… I won't. S-Sorry?"

They blinked at him. In a sudden motion, Riku threw something right at Sena's face. His hand reached up to catch it in a movement almost as fast as Riku's. Yelping, he dropped the item and scrambling back. "Wh-What is-"

"I is grabbing it again before we is leaving," Riku stated with an uncaring shrug. A flick of a red wrist later, the object skittered over white tile to bump against Sena's foot.

His own name plaque, from his tiny cubicle that he shared with Liz Allen stared back at him.

" _Sena, I don't know what's going on, but these guys just came here looking for_ you _. Looking for_ Spiderman _, too! They think you can find him," Liz's voice whispered urgently over the line. Sena could_ feel _the blood leeching out of his face._

" _You're sure? For me? Why me?"_

" _Sena, you're the only one who can get photos of Spiderman. People have coming looking for you since this started, but these guys are different. I think… I think they're_ them _," Liz argued, words tumbling over themselves. But in excitement, giddy excitement, rather than fear._

" _Who? Who do you think they are, Liz?"_

"The Avengers! _Sena, I think the Avengers want to recruit Spiderman! He's going to be a real hero! Finally! Oh, I knew I couldn't be the only person who believed he could do it. Oh, and you, I guess."_

"… _thanks, Liz." Sena chewed his thumbnail, mind already whirring with panic and escape routes. He never should've come back, Aunt May was right. No, but if he hadn't, they would've found him there, anyway._

"… _to me… Sena? SENA! Are you listening to me!?" Liz screeched in his ear. He cringed away, holding the cell as far away from his poor abused ear as possible._

" _Yes! I'm listening! I'm sorry!"_

" _Hmph, I guess I'll forgive you, but only because it's so amazing I have to tell you! Mr. Jameson just came out_ yelling _at them and they just walked right out. Everyone just went after them but, ooooh, that Captain America, look at that scowl. I think even Martin just pissed himself," Liz giggled viciously pleased. She and Martin had a long-lasting hater-thon between the two of them. "They know who you are, though, Sena. They're definitely going to come find you. Don't faint dead away when it happens and_ tell me everything! _" Liz pleaded eagerly._

 _The line went dead._

 _Sena slumped against the wall in the bathroom where he'd hidden to take the call. Her name and the length of call on the screen in his hand was the reminder that it indeed had happened. They were going to come find him, and they were going to figure it out. After three damn years of hiding his identity from classmates, villains, and even the fair-weather friend or two, he was going to be found out thanks to an idiot with stripped wires for brains._

 _The first instinct was to_ get out _. But there was no way he could leave as Sena Kobayakawa-Parker. And leaving in broad daylight as_ Spiderman _, from the_ Stark Tower _, would be monumentally stupid. Electro had only been in the building to soak up extra power to take_ Spiderman _on. He'd had no idea Spiderman had already been in the building and had caught on before he could soak up enough._

 _The slick playing card flipped from finger to finger, over knuckle and under. He had no idea when the next would strike, or where, but his foreboding feeling was only rising. He'd learned long ago to trust his spidey senses._

 _With a groan, he shoved the card in his back pocket and walked over to the mirror and connected sink counter. Brown eyes stared glumly into brown eyes._

 _No risky moves._

 _No running._

 _Time to think up some fabulous bullshit._

 _Too bad he was a_ terrible _liar._ _He sweated as he grimaced at himself in the mirror. Way to be supportive, Kobayakawa-Parker._

"I was out _finding_ Spiderman! Okay! He told me how to get past undetected, he knew where all the cameras and sensors were, okay? I wasn't me!" Sena blurted desperately.

"You can't honestly-"

"I'm not- I'm not like you guys, okay? I'm not gamma radiated, or super soldiered, or… or whatever you guys are, I'm just _me_. Slow, not smart enough, loner, loser Sena Kobayakawa-Parker. I barely make good enough grades to pass _calculus_. You think I scale buildings and beat bad guys in my spare time?" Sena laughed, twitchy and frantically. "Ask anyone, I'm a nobody and always have been. The only amazing thing about me is my parents. And they're… they're dead," he whispered, head dropped and hands listless at his sides.

Dr. Banner, Riku, and Suzuna exchanged confused glances, their veneers breaking. But Captain America? His dark eyes were still fixed on Sena's body, scowl darker and muscles almost bulging with tension.

"I try to help Spiderman out a bit, okay? I keep an ear to the ground, give heads up, whatever, and in exchange, I get pictures to put in the paper. It's… it's symbiotic, okay? I just got lucky cuz I caught him on my camera once and… and I helped him clear his name when he first came on the scene. I'm like a Robin to his Batman," Sena finished, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Your self-deprecation will be addressed at a later time, Sena," Dr. Banner replied softly. He flinched. Sena actually had come a long way _not_ believing all that crap about himself anymore; being Spiderman had helped a lot. Her genuine kindness was a guilty dagger through the heart. "However, perhaps we jumped to conclusions too quickly?"

Riku frowned and Suzuna chomped her thumbnail. Captain America _snorted_. Derisive, unimpressed, and irritated.

"No. He's the one. I know he is. You saw him catch the name card. He dropped it quickly enough, but he _caught_ it. No way a normal everyday human could do that," Captain America reminded them. Sena sweated.

 _Stupid spidey reflexes_.

"I- uh- um- blind luck?" Sena tried. Dr. Banner opened her mouth…

Only for the wall to their left to collapse inward while simultaneously an explosion rocked below their feet.

" _Not again! Stark is going to kill me!_ " Dr. Banner roared in annoyance. "Quicksilver, the students!"

"ON IT!"

Suzuna was already standing in the middle of the room, eyes glowing as crimson as the beautifully twining energy wrapping around her body. Her hands glowed so brightly they were white, but the building's shaking stabilized into tiny tremors.

"I can… not… holding long," Scarlet Witch gasped, face slowly blanching.

"Oh, this won't be long," retorted a deep, suave voice. _Floating_ just outside the window, landing light as a feather with purple cloak settling _majestically_ around him, stood the oddest looking bad guy Sena had ever seen.

And he'd faced off against friggin' _Kraven Gaou_ the Hunter! The dude literally looked like an evil, Tarzen ripoff in downtown _Manhattan_.

But this dude? Oh, yeah, he won _all_ the weirdo award. Scaly green suit, purple cloak, shiny boots, and, to top it off, a giant opaque globe over his head. Like a friggin astronaut or something.

"You are either the _stupidest_ man alive, or someone with a fondness for a jail cell," Dr. Banner growled, eyes glowing green as she walked around the desk.

"Oh, please, Dr. Banner, I'm not here for you. And honestly, I am the last thing you should be worried about. You really think my little henchman was only here to suck the currents out of old, busted robots? Tell them, magic girl, just what it is you're holding up," the newcomer gestured with a sweeping hand, nonchalant and self-assured.

"E-E-Everything. The T-Tower is… falling," she hissed, sweat pouring down her grey face.

"Mhm, indeed. There are still a few more charges left in place. I suggest you find them, Doctor, or it'll be too much for your poor friend to handle," the man suggested in amusement. Dr. Banner roared, skin rippling with green as she punched her desk so hard it crumpled into pieces. She ran out the door a second later, barely gripping her humanity, which needed her more.

"Oh, and now there's just Captain America and the brat. The one I hear I need," he drawled, turning smoothly, his domed-head flashing in the sunlight streaming through the gaping hole in the wall behind him. Captain America snarled. "Temper, temper. I thought only the Hulk had such Herculean issues?"

"Wh-what d-do you n-need _m-me_ for?" Sena stuttered, stepping close to Captain America's side in the vain hope it would keep him calm. Body armor he might have, but his shield, he didn't. And whoever this guy was, Sena was sure there was something up his sleeve. Something very literal and very dangerous. Fog boiled around his feet, leaking from his suit and cloak mysteriously.

"Because you, you insignificant speck, are going to get me Spiderman."

Sena's jaw dropped, but in his pocket, the card seemed to burn. _The fog._ He's _the next one_. "Wh-Who _are_ you?"

"I am Mysterio. It's my destiny to defeat Spiderman," the man pronounced.

"For a dude smashing into the _Avengers'_ Tower, you sure are worrying about some brat in spandex from _Brooklyn_. I hear he hangs out there," piped up a voice from the hole in the wall.

Sena yelped at the new voice, eyes scanning the room. One second, there had been _no one_ , until suddenly there _was_. A dude about Sena's height in a weird red and grey suit and freaky helmet.

"Yo. I'm not quite an arachnid, I hope an ant's an okay substitute?" he quipped, waving merrily.

" _Get OUT of my way! You vile, interfering imbecile!_ " Mysterio spat, hand lifting to release bright flares. They exploded against the wall where seconds before Ant Man had been standing.

"I need to get him out of here. Sena, _get out of the way_ ," Captain America ordered.

"Wait, what are you- _oh my god!_ " Sena shrieked as the Captain dived-bombed Mysterio, sending them both flying out of the gaping hole. "Suzuna! Are you going to be okay!?" Sena exclaimed, spinning around to stare at her.

"Y-yes, m-maybe," she nodded, eyes closing in concentration.

"Hey, bro," Ant Man greeted, suddenly next to him.

" _Holy crap!_ " Sena shrilled, pinwheeled away.

"What's the sitch? I came because of a call about petty electric thieving and it's a party MAX instead," Ant Man crowed, both thumbs up.

"Uh… Dr. Banner is trying to defuse bombs that are hiding somewhere in the lower building."

"If th-they… is…boom…I can not…hold," Scarlet Witch wheezed. The building shook ominously. She screamed and red light burst around her. "GET OUT!"

"Let's listen to the lady," Ant Man muttered, grabbing Sena's arm and dragging him out. "What else is happening?"

"R-Riku, Quicksilver, he's helping students get out, and Captain America-"

"Yeah, I got that. Where's this Spiderdude globe-head wants?"

"I d-don't kn-know," Sena lied desperately.

"You better get him if you can. It's his mess after all. I'm gonna go help find those bombs. Get the hell out, civvie!" Ant Man saluted and darting away, disappearing. Now that he wasn't so shocked, Sena could see him shrink.

"Right… my mess," Sena muttered. He ran towards his room where his suit was hidden away. "Time to clean it up."

Seijuuro groaned as he sat up. Falling out of the fourteenth window had been fun and all, but the gas to the face that had paralyzed him midair? Oh, not so much. It was wearing off slowly, but too much of his body felt numb.

"Hmm, superhuman indeed. That serum did a lot for you, Steve Seijuuro Rogers," the jerk in a stupid globe hummed thoughtfully. Seijuuro glared poisonously. _No one knew that name_. How did he know _that name_? Mysterio knelt in front of Seijuuro and held up a hand. A flashing, spiny disc caught Seijuuro's gaze. No matter how his head screamed to look away, his eyes… _couldn't_. "I'm going to need you to help me out, big boy. One on one, I may win. But two on one, oh how stacked the odds will be in my favor. You will help me _kill_ Spiderman, Captain America."

"N-No," he spat, blood trickling from the corner of his lips.

"How intriguing that you think you can resist hypnosis. Super Soliders don't get _smarter_ , my friend. Only _bigger_."

The world went black.

Spiderman flipped down into the courtyard in front of Stark Tower. Free, standing tall, and ready, Spiderman was twice the man Sena Kobayakawa-Parker was. There was no fear, no stammer in his speech, no cringing or blushing. The mask made him braver than he'd ever felt and it never failed to do so.

In front of him, Captain America stood awkwardly at Mysterio's side, eyes weirdly blank and body lax.

"Ah, you've come. Much faster than I was expecting, though. I had hoped to cause a bit more destruction first," Mysterio sighed sadly.

"I think you've caused enough. This is between me and you, Mysterio." The card he held in his hand flung over the open ground between them, sticking into the grass straight up, the fog and question mark exposed.

"That was true. But, well, I come prepared for a true battle. I won't underestimate you, Spiderman. You should feel complimented," Mysterio replied with a bloodcurdling chuckle. He snapped and Captain America stepped forward, fists rising.

"What… What did you do to Captain America!?"

"Just one Captain America? You must be mistaken," Mysterio swept out his cloak and between a blink and the next, three Captain America's stood identically crouched and blank-faced. "I will defeat you Spiderman, as is my _destiny_!"

"What is it with cheesy villain lines? It's not destiny, it's just you being a power-hungry snowglobe! Did you get shaken up too often, or left on the reject shelf, is that what this is about?" Spiderman retorted. He yelped and jumped back and up as a Captain America rushed him. Only to have fists pound into his back. Spiderman choked, spittle wetting the cloth in front of his mouth, and he slammed chest first into cement and grass. "This is going well," Spiderman muttered. A fist slammed to the ground just as he rolled away. He cursed seeing the lack of impact the hologram made, and another, real, hand grabbed his ankle. With a startled shout, Spiderman was flung through the air.

 _I can't fight Captain America!_ he thought miserably, web shooting from his wrist to catch himself and swing back around. Both feet slammed into Captain America's chest, only to slam right through. Another darted at him, which he dodged, straight into the real Captain's fist. He tumbled ass over teakettle, cheek and nose burning and crunching inside his skull. _Damn it!_

"I've got this, kid," announced a new speaker. "What's up, fucking tightass?" the voice cackled and all three Captains glanced up, Spiderman just a second behind them. The glaring ruby and gold of Iron Man flashed in his eyes even through the mesh.

Without stopping to even say thanks, Spiderman took off towards Mysterio. With a grunt, he slung web placket after placket towards the green-suited villain.

"Don't you underestimate me, either!" Gas poured from hidden tubes in his suit, and Spiderman skidded to a stop, grimacing as his web was melted into gooey puddles. It looked kinda like the inside of a burnt marshmallow.

"Eugh, that's gross!" Spiderman whined.

He darted around the flares Mysterio sent his way, tripping into a somersault as they exploded upon impact behind him. Back on his feet a second later, he shot more web at Mysterio to distract him, coming up behind the melting goop to swing a roundhouse to Mysterio's face. His eyes widened behind his mask as an arm came up to block. _The hell_ -? He shouted wordlessly as the second arm punched him right in the solar plexus. His butt dragged through dirt and grass and black spots peppered his vision while he gasped airlessly. A large hand wrapped around his throat, lifting him right into the air. A disappointed tsk echoed in the globe.

"This is Spiderman? You're so much smaller than I thought you'd be. The Doctor ranted so, about your powers and skills, and yet I'm already about to defeat you. Perhaps that haughty eight-legged _bastard_ will be next on my list."

 _D-Doc Oc? He's behind this?_

"Y-You h-"

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"You h-haven't d-defeated me y-yet, fi-fishbowl face," Spiderman choked out.

He pulled his knees up and slammed the soles of his feet into Mysterio's chest. The hand around his throat was torn away. Without even pausing to replace oxygen, Spiderman leapt after Mysterio. It became a flurry of fists and kicks, Mysterio keeping up and putting in even more blows than him. Spiderman relied more on his senses and reflexes, but this guy had some _major_ experience and teaching. _Crapcrapanddoublecrap_. Mysterio's palm slammed over Spiderman's face, blood filling his mouth and pain from his already broken nose making him dizzy. Gas poured into him, through his mouth, his nose, seeping into his eyes and pores. He coughed and choked, wild kick connecting with the armored belly in front of him. Mysterio groaned and fell away, but Spiderman was already wheezing on the ground, body seizing and limbs collapsing under him.

Coughing and choking, fingers dug into grass, pulling and dragging him forward. His breath was gasping, filming his mask with humid damp. A boot pressing quick and hard to his spine, forcing him down on his belly and even more air out of his struggling lungs. A foot had stopped him cold.

"How does it feel, Spiderman? The paralyzing agent in your blood? Captain America fought it off almost immediately, but you? You're nothing but a bug. A nothing. You think you're a hero because you have a few fancy little tricks? Don't be pathetic," Mysterio whispered over Spiderman's ear.

His eyes closed tight, tears gathering unseen. A nothing. Pathetic. _Nothing_.

No. No, he wasn't nothing. He _wasn't_. Sena… Sena was a nobody. But not Spiderman.

With a pained scream, Spiderman braced his palms to the ground and _pushed_. Mysterio threw his whole weight behind his leg, driving him back down, but he gritted his teeth and, with trembling, burning arms, _pushed harder_. He was on his knees at last, Mysterio stumbling back just outside his peripheral vision. Web after web flung at him, catching him while off balance. An arm stuck to his torso, a foot pinned to the ground, web coating every inch of the stupid globe.

"You stupid villains and your _cliché crap_!" Spiderman yelled, forcing himself to dart forward. A fist slammed into Mysterio's sternum, the resulting groan echoing in glass. A knee followed it to the diaphragm. Spittle sprayed the inside the fishbowl. "You think- you can all say- the same _crap_ \- and it'll work?" Spiderman shouted, fist after knee after fist pounding into every inch he could get to.

He wrapped his hand into the cloak to flip him over a shoulder, a wrestling move Flash Gordon had taught him (by the wrong end of experience, but, eh, semantics). Instead of finishing him, Spiderman screamed, body convulsing and tightening all over as bolts of electricity surged through him. He fell to the ground, curled up and gasping painfully.

"Fine. No more monologuing," Mysterio hissed, spraying blood over glass. "Fuck."

A heavy boot slammed into Spiderman's already cracked and aching ribs. Another short scream escaped him. With vicious glee, Mysterio kicked and kicked and began to cackle hysterically.

"I'm going to squash you, squash you like the bug you are, _Spiderman_. You're dead, dead, and I've won." He snarled as Spiderman's hands wrapped around his legs, grip weak and trembling. "You've _lost_ , you brat."

"N-Not y-yet," he wheezed, his vision going black and his bones grating inside his chest. " _Not yet_."

He twisted with the last of his strength. Mysterio fell to his back with an outraged bellow. Screaming through pain and the bolt of electricity that surged up his arms, Spiderman dragged himself up Mysterio's body and slammed his fist through glass.

"I-Impossi-"

The denial ended when Spiderman's fist smashed into his astonished face.

"Not. Yet."

Spiderman rolled off and onto his back. His chest heaved and tears streamed under his mask, soaking his hair, as his broken ribs tore into his soft, unprotected insides.

"Spiderman!" the voice was kind, urgent, and distant. At the end of a tunnel and through water.

"Wait, Mamori. It's his fucking ribs. Don't touch him. Friday, I need a stretcher _yesterday_. What do you mean all my robots are broken? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?"

"I is going!" Air rushed over him, and even through the spandex Spiderman felt it.

"Spiderman, hold on, we'll help you."

"S'kay… just… rest…" he whispered.

His world went black.

He woke again and it was a little hard to breathe. Like, cracked, tightly bound ribs and mask over his face kinda hard. Nothing too unusual, really. Until he realized just why it should be. He sat up so fast blood rushed from his head and a pained cry left him.

Large, warm hands pushed him slowly, but firmly back down.

"No one here will harm you, Spiderman. You're safe," Captain America murmured. It was the kindest, softest he'd ever sounded.

It made Sena even more uneasy.

"I have to g-go," Sena stammered, cringing at it. He wasn't in the mask anymore, even if he still wore it. After a battle, his defenses fell and keeping up that bravado, that Spiderman persona, was hard when he was physically at his weakest.

"You're not going anywhere for a while. You're healing is exponentially faster than the average human, but the injuries were severe enough that you can't just swing away willy-nilly," Dr. Banner told him sternly.

"Willy-nilly, Jolly Green? Fucking _willy-nilly_? What are you, sixty and living with cats?"

"Shut up, Youichi!"

"Yo, bro, you took a beating ten times over and you still managed to beat the MAX outta fishbowl head. That was great, by the way. 8 outta 10 witty banter," Ant Man joked proudly.

Sena sweatdropped under his mask.

"Is you not taking off mask now, Spiderman? _Vrech_ is saying you must and we must be waiting for you. I am sick of it," Scarlet Witch, Suzuna, grumbled. He could hear her toe tapping on the linoleum.

"We is all knowing who you are. You think we, _we_ , will be hurting you if we know true name, Spiderman?" Quicksilver asked, obviously offended and annoyed.

"No," he whispered. "But… only… only one person knows. And I can't have her… I can't have her get in trouble. I can't. I've already ruined so much of her life…"

"Look, brat, kid, under-roo, whatever. We all have people whose life we fucked up. People we… love. Some have even died. You aren't the only special snowflake with a tragic fucking backstory. Nut up and take off the mask so fucking Cyclops can come recruit you," Youichi, _Stark, Iron friggin' Man_ , said, words sharp and cutting, but his tone vulnerable a fleeting second when it mattered.

Gulping painfully, he reached up with naked fingers. Slowly, carefully, he rolled up the mask and let it fall into his lap, twisting it between his hands.

Suzuna and Mamori smiled happily, Riku smirking with only his eyes showing how pleased he was. Next to him had to be Ant Man, with his giant eyes and snub nose. He was rubbing said nose with one finger and grinning.

"Welcome to the Dream Team, Spiderdude."

Captain America's intense stare had shivers running down Sena's spine. Something pleased and proud that had Sena quaking and blushing. He quickly turned to see Stark leaning against the machine beeping away Sena's vitals, gum bubble cracking.

"Great. I'm done playing nurse. Rhodey's coming in any second and I gotta go lock him outta my labs before he can fucking pester me about my hella secret speed upgrade. He thinks because he's got War Machine I'm gonna play fucking fair." He turned on his heel and sauntered away, kekekekeing as he went. Dr. Banner paled considerably.

"Oh dear. I better go head off the explosion," she whispered.

"Hey, just blame it on the actual explosion!" Ant Man called after her. He turned back to Sena. "I'm Scott Raimon Taro."

"Rai… Monta…ro?" Sena repeated in confusion. Ant Man scowled.

"Not Monta! It's-"

"Oh, I am liking it! Monta. Much easy!" Suzuna exclaimed. Monta glanced over at her and sighed.

"Well, I can't argue with a cute lady."

"I'm Sena. Sena Kobayakawa-Parker. And I'm Spiderman," Sena murmured.

They stared at him a long moment, then Monta slapped his back. _Hard._ Sena 'guh'ed and coughed to re-breathe.

"All righty then. I better go back. Send me a message when Fury calls the meeting in. I can't wait to see how he acts around everyone else."

"E-Everyone else?" Sena spluttered.

"Yes, you are to meeting the Avengers. All the Avengers. I is hearing even Thor is being back!" Suzuna explained.

"No worries. You is beat your bad guy. You can be facing the good ones," Riku promised with a wink. "Rest down."

"Dude, rest _up_."

"Why rest up? Resting is being lying down," Riku objected, baffled.

"Get out so he can rest," Captain America snapped. There was sputters of indignation and an obscene hand gesture from Riku, but they did leave. Dark eyes pinned Sena like a bug to his bed. "Don't you try to leave."

"I… I d-don't want t-to. It's just…my aunt…" Sena said haltingly. The Captain's gaze was softer and warmer the moment 'aunt' passed Sena's lips.

"I'll bring your things here. You can call her. _After_ you sleep more. The morphine should kick in again soon."

"M-Morphine? Th-that d-doesn't-" _yawn_ "w-work on m-me."

For a brief moment, Sena _swore_ he saw a smile. "This will. Sleep well."

There wasn't enough time to reply. He was out cold and drooling by the time the Captain said 'sleep'.

A week later, Sena trembled and quivered in his place between Riku and Dr. Banner. Banner patted his shoulder comfortingly, but he just felt _more_ like a kid. A kid about to meet his _heroes_ and be told he'd be one of them. There was…There were no words that could help. The door just ahead of the Captain slid open soundlessly. One by one, they trooped in and took their places at a huge round table. Like friggin' Knights of the Round Table, with the one-eyed and bespectacled Director as their King Arthur. Or maybe Captain America was. Even with his surly face, everyone seemed to defer to him, nodding with respect and trust. Sena had never seen the Captain like this. Looking sure and calm, body looser and features relaxed. He made sure to go around the table, shaking hands or being back-patted, murmuring questions about family members, or vacations, or missions. He was attentive and inspiring without even cracking a smile. It was… amazing.

Imagine what the smile would have done. The guy could conquer the world with a weapon that devastating.

"Parker."

Sena snapped to attention with Fury said his name. "K-Parker," he corrected automatically. And immediately blushed red.

"Ah, I like this one. Don't you like this one, Karin? Still so young and innocent," one man teased, nudging the beautiful blonde woman next to him.

"Don't scare him off before he realizes the rest of us aren't as crazy as you," she sighed. Her pretty brown eyes met his and she smiled sweetly.

"K-Parker it is, then," Fury acquiesced. He and Sena were the only ones left standing, both on opposite sides of the table. "Let me make introductions where necessary. You've met Stark, Banner, the Maximoffs, and Taro, correct?" he confirmed, waving a hand at each name. Banner, the Maximoffs, and Monta waved. Stark merely lifted an eyebrow, propped his feet on the table, and popped a bubble. "And, of course, Rogers."

"Y-yes."

"Here besides me are Agents Maria Wakana-Hill and Yuki Coulson." The man and woman smiled happily and cheerfully, putting Sena a little more at ease. "Then, next to Coulson, that's Takeru Barton. His codename is Hawkeye. Codename Black Widow, also known as Karin Romanov among friends, sits beside him."

Sena paled at he glanced at Karin's sweet face. He knew the name Black Widow well. Who knew such an innocent face could hide the _best assassin in the friggin' world_?

"The massive man playing with the hammer is Thor," Fury continued, tone dry. The huge black man waved frevently, teeth gleaming white and shiny in his dark face. He looked pleasant and jovial for a _lightning Norse god!_ Sena quivered.

"I do not require a codename. Only Thor!" he boomed, following his proclamation with a _boomier_ laugh.

"And last but not least, codename Falcon-"

"But friends call me Sam, Sam Juumonji," interjected the man that sat closest to Captain America. He had a cross on his cheek, a lopsided smirk, and arms crossed over an impressive chest. Captain America met his eye and they exchanged a familiar, identical eyebrow lift.

"I'd hoped you'd meet them earlier, but a _few_ refused to be accommodating."

Banner and Black Widow both shrugged, unabashed.

"Do you _know_ how much my students paid for their internship applications?"

"Why would I leave France because of Stark's Tower falling down again? It's not exactly a surprise these days. _Or_ a critical emergency requiring my expertise."

"Yeah, it's not like she can hold the building up with her mind or anything," Hawkeye winked over at Scarlet Witch, who blushed, hands lighting up just as red.

"Enough," Fury stated quietly. Everyone fell silent. "Now, the Spiderman has been seen around-"

"Spiderman."

Leather creaked as everyone turned to stare at Sena. He swallowed painfully.

"It's just Spiderman. Not _the_ Spiderman."

"Ah, I see. Well, then, just Spiderman has been seen around quite a bit of New York. Mopping up a few messes before SHIELD can even pick them up, quite a feat."

"They sorta come after me," Sena muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Be it as they may, you do a good job. But it's still a _vigilante_ job. We're offering you a place, here, in the Avengers' Initiative. You'll have some government oversight, but given your age and alter-ego schedule, we'll try not to draft you into any overseas retcon missions," Fury's lips twisted up to one side. Sena blinked.

"You want me. To join. The Avengers," Sena repeated, choppily. Truthfully, a part of him had expected this big, important guy to take his suit away. Demand he cease and desist and leave the job up to professionals. Instead, he was trying to _legitimize_ Sena's job. "To be like-like _Captain America_? A real _hero_? I couldn't- I'm just- I'm just _me_. I have some freaky powers thanks to a creepy genetically-engineered spider bite-"

"OH! Of course!" Dr. Banner exclaimed.

"But I don't… I don't save the _world_. I'm lucky if I can protect my borough."

"Now, Parker, false modesty is very un-"

" _It's K-Parker! Kobayakawa-Parker!_ " Sena shouted, standing so suddenly his chair flung out behind him and clattered to the ground. His palms slapped on the table and his shoulders shook. He couldn't lift his eyes, couldn't look up and see them _looking_ at him. His heroes, inspirational and strong and _amazing,_ people he'd looked up to for years! How could he be an equal to them?

"I have to go," he choked out. He spun around and _ran_. He almost crashed through the automatic doors for not opening fast enough.

"Sena!" Dr. Banner called out, half-rising. She paused when Rogers stood and motioned towards her.

"I'll handle this," Rogers said, eyebrow lifting inquiringly. Fury sighed and gestured with his hand.

"Be my guest. If he truly does have self-confidence issues that extreme, however, he may not be asset. Knowing one's own worth is part of strength."

Rogers merely nodded and left.

"So any _actual_ business, or can I fucking go now?" Stark asked, snapping his bubble. Fury dropped his face into his hand.

Seijuuro jogged through the overly complicated corridors and pathways of the Initiative complex. Fury had taken Stark's carte blanche and run _wild_ with it, apparently. Jogging past yet one more bank of giant windows, Seijuuro almost missed the tiny, crumpled figure by the wall. Sunlight was streaming through so brightly, it hid Kobayakawa-Parker more effectively than shadows. Seijuuro closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly. This kind of situation was almost hard for him, _words_ were hard. Actions were so much easier. But he had no actions to make here. Only words, the right ones, were wanted. Squaring his shoulders, he opened his eyes and made his way towards the teenager curled around his own knees.

"I w-wish you w-wouldn't," Kobayakawa-Parker whispered.

Seijuuro sat down next to him anyway. "I think you need someone to. Would you prefer Dr. Banner? Or one of the Maximoffs? You seem to be… friendly with them."

"No. No, I don't have a preference." His sad, weary words were muffled into the thick fabric of his jeans.

Silence blanketed them. Silence Seijuuro could do. He stretched out a leg in front of him and propped up his arm on the opposite knee. He kept it the leg further from Kobayakawa-Parker, trying to say, with body language, he wasn't closed off from the younger boy. Man. Seijuuro couldn't tell yet just what Kobayakawa-Parker was.

"When I first joined the SHIELD program, I was a scrawny half-Jap and it was World War II. I was small, but scrappy and _desperate_ to prove my loyalty to America," Seijuuro intoned slowly. Kobayakawa-Parker's head tilted, brown eyes peeking up at him. "My father, the _real_ American, he was a bastard."

Kobayakawa-Parker gasped quietly.

"They don't say it in the museum, I've been there. So odd," Seijuuro's mouth screwed up in remembrance. "But he was. He was a giant bully. He beat my mother, and he beat me. And when Japan joined the Axis, he beat us more. And then threw us out. Kids would throw rocks at me, and the school pushed out. I was a Jap. An enemy. At barely sixteen, I was desperate to prove my mother and me were _American_ , we were _loyal_. I thought, if I could get enlisted, I could protect her. But I was young, and small, and had a whole bunch of health problems. And half-Japanese. No one would let me enlist."

"But then SHIELD found you," Kobayakawa-Parker said quietly. Seijuuro nodded.

"Yes, they found me. Dr. Erskine, actually. Not surprised you didn't remember his name-"

"Dr. Abraham Erskine."

Seijuuro blinked down at Kobayakawa-Parker. His cheeks pinkened and his gaze skittered away.

"I went there a lot."

"Hn."

"What next?" Kobayakawa-Parker prompted after a long pause.

"I became Captain America and all the rest is easy enough to look up. But you wanna know something they never talk about?"

Expectant quiet.

"My mother was sent to an internment camp while I was abroad. By the time my superiors learned of it, it was too late. She'd never been very strong, my mother. Shoved together in a dirty bunk with too many people and too few supplies… she died of complications of pneumonia within a month."

"Captain… R-Rogers-"

"Don't. Don't call me that," Seijuuro spat angrily. He ran a trembling hand over his face as Kobayakawa-Parker gaped at him. "That's my father's name. Stephen. Stephen Rogers. I'm Stephen Rogers, Junior."

"I didn't know that. Everyone calls you Steve."

"I know. I hate it, but it… it's better than letting them know what I call myself. What my mother named me in Japanese. The only other people who knew my name other than my mother… one died. I thought he died… I guess he's still as good as dead," he murmured, eyes closed and head tipped back. "The other I'm watching die slowly."

Kobayakawa-Parker bit down on his lip, staring down at his knees.

"So… should I just call you Captain? Would you like that best?"

"I'd prefer you calling me Seijuuro."

"Sei-Seijuuro? That's Japanese! Just like mine! Why would you-" Kobayakawa-Parker exclaimed, body finally unwinding and eyes wide and animated.

"Because you remind me of my best friend. I've only ever had two. Both believed in me more than I ever thought they should. I never felt like I deserved that respect. I never thought I could measure up to the hero they saw in me. And well, we half-Japanese should stick together, don't you think?"

Kobayakawa-Parker's mouth twitched into a smile. "Yeah. Here, lemme show you something."

He fumbled at his pants and shirt, until he pulled out two cards. They looked like baseball cards, until he saw his own face and his terrible, gaudy old uniform of the forties.

"You have these things, too?" Seijuuro blurted in dismay. Kobayakawa-Parker burst into laughter.

"I've never seen you look so embarrassed. Yeah, they were a gift, actually. Both of my parents were Japanese, though my dad was half, like you. He grew up in Brooklyn, went to MIT, and then traveled all the way back to Japanese for graduate school. My mom grew up in Japan. And both of them _loved_ stories about Captain America. My mother dreamed about it, coming to America, living the American Dream, being a hero like Captain America, who proved you don't have to be a blonde haired white guy to be _American_ , to be a symbol of _freedom_. That's what madeAmerica so great. To my mom and dad, I mean. Cuz my dad, he felt the same. He got picked on a lot for being a 'Jap', a lot of other mean names. When they met in Japan, and they saw they both had Captain America cards, that they both carried around everywhere for luck… My dad said it was like love at first collector's card," Kobayakawa-Parker laughed and lovingly traced his finger along the edges.

"I…I still think it's odd to hear I inspire people like that," Seijuuro muttered, glancing away. Kobayakawa-Parker leaned forward and his jaw dropped comically.

" _You're blushing! You!_ How could Captain America be embarrassed or surprised about this! You're _Captain friggin' America!_ "

"How come you don't think you can sit a room of your peers, any room and any peers, and believe yourself equal to them," Seijuuro shot back. Kobayakawa-Parker jerked away, eyes widening in surprise and hurt. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No, you're right. I don't… I don't think I'm equal. I guess, I'm getting to that. Cuz, well, my parents died. Years ago. I was only… six? Or seven? They gave these cards just a few weeks before they died. I thought I was stupid, because schoolwork was so hard. My teachers would look at me, _disappointed_ , talking about how my parents were geniuses and how I was nothing like them. So I came home crying. I'd never seen my mom so _angry_. But my dad sat us down, and showed me their cards and told me the story for like the thousandth time. And then he gave me his, and my mom did. And said it was my turn to believe I could be a hero, too. I just had to believe in myself and I could do anything. Just like Captain America, the half-Japanese hero of World War II," Kobayakawa-Parker narrated, watery smile wobbling. "And then they died. And I flunked outta my fancy private school. And flunked outta my year, too. I'm already almost twenty, yanno? Because I got _held back_ a year. I let them down for _years_. And then I went on this school trip, and I got all wigged out cuz the spiders were _creepy_ , right, and I left to go calm down.

"And then this gross, ugly spider just crawls right on up my hand and," Kobayakawa-Parker broke off and gestured sweepingly with his hand. "Suddenly, I was Spiderman. I mean, I messed up a lot and… and people got hurt…got _dead_ ," his voice trailed away into nothing. After a few moments, he cleared his throat. "I've tried _so hard_ to be a hero, to work harder in school, to be _better_ for mom and dad and… and _Uncle Ben_. I can't… I can't sit at that table and feel like I'm _done_ trying. Does that make sense?"

Brown shining eyes met Seijuuro's. They were desperate and familiar. So like the eyes of the sixteen year old sporting a shiner and frown as he failed yet another enlistment physical.

"Sitting at that table isn't an end, Spiderman. It's just a beginning. This way… you won't be trying alone anymore," Seijuuro replied softly.

Kobayakawa-Parker blinked rapidly, mouth parting and trembling.

"I… I would like it… having friends," he confessed, blushing heating his face.

"I'll be your friend," Seijuuro offered gruffly, his ears and neck uncomfortable.

He grunted in surprise as Kobayakawa-Parker threw his arms around him, squeezing tightly enough to have Seijuuro gasping.

"Thank you, Captain… Thank you, _Seijuuro_."

"You're welcome… Sena."

The embrace tightened and Seijuuro slowly, awkwardly, wrapped an arm around trembling shoulders. They seemed so narrow, but like this, Seijuuro could feel how broad and strong they were. And how much stronger they would become.

…

PAA: Hollow telegramming pixies = hologram pixels looool; and I TOTES made up Seijuuro's super hearing. No idea if Cap can do that. But, to be honest, it's a pretty difficult skill to use. He has to block out all other senses as well as anything beyond the target of what he wants to hear (so, inside the room, but he can't hear anything coming up behind him in the hallway).

Cast-  
Shin – Captain America  
Sena - Spiderman  
Mamori – Hulk  
Monta – Ant Man  
Hiruma – Iron Man  
Suzuna – Scarlet Witch  
Riku – Quicksilver  
Panther - Thor  
Yamato – Hawkeye  
Karin – Black Widow  
Takami – Director Fury  
Yukimitsu – Agent Coulson  
Wakana – Agent Hill  
Kurita – Pepper Potts (lol)  
Sakuraba – Buchanan "Bucky" Sakuraba  
Musashi – Rhodes  
Juumonji – Falcon

Doc Oc- Atsushi Munakata (post-chapter)  
Mysterio – Marco  
Sandman - Banba (pre-chapter)  
Electro – Satoshi Muro  
Kraven the Hunter - Gaou (pre-chapter)  
Vulture – Sasuke Kanagushi (pre-chapter)

So some of them may come off kinda OOC, my only excuse is I was trying to mold them into their MCU characters while also trying to keep their important ES characteristics. And YES, Sena was cast as Quicksilver first. But, omgosh, I couldn't make that fit and, seriously, Riku has a much closer personality to QS than Sena does. AND SENA IS THE PERFECT SPIDERMAN. IT IS CANON. SSSSSHHHH! And no, Shin can be no one else other than a grumpy AF Cap America. You cannot convince me of anything else. He was Cap from the very get-go.


	11. Parents Part I

**How they met each other's families?** **Thoughts on each other's family?** **Favorite family member?** **Favorite family member of their lover?**

The Kobayakawas

 **Pre-Ship:**

Snow glistened pure and white all around them. Tokyo in the winter was one of her favorite times. Cherry blossoms in the spring were nice, too, of course, but nothing beat that simple beauty of pristine snow. The look of scarves and jackets and mittens hiding ruddy cheeks and noses. The smell of roasting chestnuts and sweet potatoes on almost every corner. And, now apparently, the sound of a crowd standing outside Tokyo Dome pumped up and excited over a sport she'd never even heard of. Kobayakawa, Mihae adjusted the small bundle of fur closer to her chest and tugged her jacket closer around them. Pitt mewed and purred, tail thumping against Mihae's ribcage.

They reached the small table Sena had texted them about and her dear Shuma held out their IDs.

"Kobayakawa? Our son said we wouldn't need to pay," he explained haltingly.

"Of course not! You're the parents of Eyeshield 21! Why would you pay to watch your son play in the Christmas Bowl?" the cheerful young man chirped, eyes bright and eager. "How great that you're at _my_ table! It's awesome to meet you. You have quite the son, you must be proud."

Mihae and Shuma blinked in confusion and glanced at each other.

"E-Eyeshield 21?" Mihae repeated in confusion.

"He's playing _in_ this game?" Shuma questioned, utterly baffled.

" _Nyaa_?"

"The Kobayakawa's. Is there a problem?" rumbled a distinctly grumpy, young man's voice. Shuma and Mihae turned as Pitt stuck her nose in the newcomer's direction.

"Sh-Shin-san!" stuttered the ticket man.

Shin-san looked to be a very serious faced young man. Maybe a young college student? Though, under his heavy parka, Mihae could make out the blinding white of a school uniform. So… high school? He was a very handsome high school student, who was taller even than her husband by several centimeters, and large over all with broad shoulders and stern dark gaze under darker messy hair.

"That name sounds very familiar," Mihae realized out loud.

"Th-There's n-no problem," Shuma stammered, stepping back towards his wife. She sighed and rolled her eyes fondly. Shuma and Sena were too much alike sometimes. Good thing they had her around.

"Do you know our son? That looks like a high school uniform," she said, pointing to the opening in his parka just below his throat. He nodded once.

"Shin, Seijuuro. You _are_ Kobayakawa, Sena's parents, right?" he asked, his words and tone polite, if blunt.

"You _do_ know him! How wonderful! I thought his only friends were that silly monkey boy and dear Mamori-chan. Oh, and of course, lovely Suzuna-chan," Mihae cheered happily, clapping her hands together. Pitt meowed in protest at the jostling. She quickly readjusted Pitt in the crook of her arm while Shin squinted his eyes down at the cat.

"Excuse me, Kobayakawa-san, Kobayakawa-san, Shin-san? Your tickets," interrupted the ticket man. They all turned to see the leaflets he held out.

"Thank you, s-sorry," Shuma bowed and took them quickly. He froze when he realized he held Shin's. He swallowed and handed the ticket over.

Shin took it without taking his eyes off Pitt. They walked a few steps away from the table before Shin brought them to a halt.

"You brought an animal. To an amefuto game," Shin stated, obviously bewildered.

"Pitt is family!" Mihae protested.

"We couldn't leave Pitt behind," Shuma agreed quietly, one hand on Mihae's lower back. It was the closest Shuma got to being brave and Mihae gave him a proud smile.

"Hn," Shin grunted. He held out his hand, which Pitt eagerly sniffed, whiskers trembling. The boy's face, for the first time, softened into something that actually looked like a teenager, an almost smile that had both Shuma and Mihae blushing.

 _Oh, how adorable. I do hope my son and this boy are friends. I want to spoil him rotten!_

"So, you know my son…?" Mihae prompted gaily.

Shin snapped back to attention and both Kobayakawa-sans had to hide their identical pouts of disappointment. Shuma was a lot less intimidated by the boy who liked cats than by the boy who looked like he could rip out Shuma's spine without breaking a sweat.

"He is my fiercest rival," Shin explained in his blunt, unabashed way.

"Y-Your r-r-rival?" Mihae and Shuma stammered together, incredulous and gaping. They both looked him up and down.

"You're sure… rival? Not, maybe, friends?" Mihae asked hesitantly.

"You d-d-don't s-seem like s-someone who Sena c-could _rival_ ," Shuma pointed out.

Shin stared at them uncomprehendingly. Slowly, understanding dawned on his face.

"You've never seen him play," he said simply. Mihae and Shuma shook their heads.

"We just found out yesterday about this Christmas Bowl thing. It's… it's a lot more important than he let on," Mihae explained, gaze darting over the ever-swelling crowd.

"Rivals? You're _sure_ rivals?" Shuma asked again as he fiddled with his glasses.

"Sena Kobayakawa is the fastest runningback in Tokyo. Because of him, I was able to become even better a player, reaching speeds and endurance I never would have without him. He won our second match, besting me again. He is constantly evolving and growing as a player. When you see him play, you'll understand. He's…impressive," Shin told them. Instead of sounding angry, or irritated, or even _hateful_ , he only sounded… _proud_. As if Sena's progress, and his superior abilities, were something Shin could only congratulate.

Either he was just that kind of person or… maybe… Mihae narrowed her eyes on Shin's face, saw the way it softened so much like it had when he'd greeted Pitt, and… _suspicions_ began to form. She turned to meet her husband's equally pensive gaze. Years of conjugal bliss had developed a healthy rapport between them. And like most people who'd been together as long as they had, a simple look could hold a thousand words. They nodded briefly.

"Well, that's just wonderful! I had no idea Sena was such an amazing player!" Mihae gushed happily. She plucked a warily protesting Pitt out of her coat and placed her in Shin's automatically reaching hands. "Why don't you take us to our seats and tell us _all about it_. And maybe explain this Christmas Bowl a bit better."

Shin blinked down at Pitt, looking utterly confused as to how a cat had ended up in his hands. Then, he glanced at Mihae and Shuma and blinked again.

"I will have to go sit with my teammates when the game starts, if that's all right?"

"Oh, of _course_ , dear. We won't make you sit with two boring old people the whole time. Just till the game starts," Mihae agreed happily.

After a short pause, Shin nodded. "You should know how far your son has progressed and just what to expect today. I'd be honored to explain it and take you to your places."

"Oh, how polite! I like you very much," Mihae giggled. "Now, cuddle Pitt up close to you, or she'll get cold- yes, just like that!" she instructed in her motherly, bossy voice.

Shuma pushed his glasses up his nose and followed them quietly. Mihae kept up dragging answers and explanations out of the clearly reticent young man, while she _knew_ her husband analyzed it all. When sweet Shin left for his friends, her husband would have a much clearly idea of just what the relationship between Shin Seijuuro and their son was, or what it might turn into. When she tripped on snow and Shin's strong hand grabbed her and set her on her feet before she could even feel herself begin to fall, she decided she wouldn't might _at all_ if rivals ended up being something else.

It would be nice to have a strong hand around the house other than her own. Or a person who could reach the top shelves without a stool. Wouldn't that be something?

"It's a shame. I really had such high hopes for Suzuna-chan and Sena," she murmured, pressing her hand to her cheek as she sat.

Shin and Shuma looked over at her. Shuma merely smiled and shook his head, but Shin stared in puzzlement, hand unconsciously stroking the purring Pitt's back.

 _A good addition to the family indeed_ , she thought satisfactorily.

 **Post-Ship:**

With second semester of college about to start, Shin's summer training finally ended. He offered the few times Sena came up to train with him to take a day off to meet his parents- as they requested- but Sena put it off every time. It was very generous of Sena to care so much about Shin's carefully prepared training regiment, but, really, Shin could've re-planned a bit. He'd met the Kobayakawa-sans years ago after all, and knew he'd like to meet them again. Whenever he'd tried to explain that to Sena, though, the younger man would always find a way to change the subject or start running. One time, there even been kissing to distract Shin from the topic. Shin had decided to enjoy that instead of stop it. It wasn't often Sena initiated intimate contact, and Shin didn't want to embarrass him by pointing out how obvious the tactic had been.

Or embarrass him enough that he never attempted again.

Though, Shin couldn't help but wonder just what Sena was worried about. His parents had already seemed to approve of Shin during the Christmas Bowl all those years ago. Didn't he know that?

He checked to make sure the crate of oranges in his hands was all in one piece, and the box with fancy sake his mother insisted he take as well wasn't making any worrisome sloshing sounds. Taking anything fragile on the subway was always an exercise in observation and quick reflexes in order to protect such things. He made his way easily through the crowd when his stop came, then hurried to pick up his pace to get past the slogging crowd towards the turnstiles. Sena was waiting just outside the subway station, looking suntanned and _beautiful_. Not because of the way his nose turned up, or the slope of his shoulders, or the new clothes he wore that showed off his footballer's physique (though that did help Shin identify him even faster than usual. Sena's baggy clothes had always been something of a nuisance in that regard). No, what made Sena beautiful was the way he would turn towards Shin, picking him out of a crowd in an instant, and how his lips curved into a grin that lit up his entire face.

 _Because of Shin_.

Shin reached his side easily and mentally cursed the crate in his hands. It would've been nice to kiss Sena hello. It'd been over a week since the last time they'd even talked, let alone seen each other. Sena had left for a week-long training at the beach with Enma, only confirming their plans to meet up when he got back and finally have dinner with the Kobayakawa family before communication had cut off. Shin had spent the entire week on Fuji trying not to feel lonely for the first time in his life.

Maybe also to avoid his classmates' and teammates' teasing over his "pining". Which was ridiculous. It was only for a week. Shin didn't _pine_ on account of his boyfriend's absence for a week.

"Hey, stranger!" Sena joked, shoving his phone in his pocket. He glanced at the crate and sake box and blinked in surprise. "You're bringing all that?"

"It's a gift. It's customary to bring a gift," Shin explained with a frown. He scowled heavier as he glanced down at his armload. "Do you think they won't like it?"

"Oh, no! They'll love it, really. It just seemed like a lot! Can I help?" he offered, hands hovering awkwardly. Shin slowly raised an eyebrow. Sena ducked his head and chuckled breathily. "Okay, so you don't _need_ help, but I could help anyway?"

"I'm fine. Let's go," Shin said decisively with a jerk of his chin to indicate Sena to lead the way. For a moment, Sena froze, eyes wide and slightly terrified. With jerky motions, he turned and headed towards the exit. Shin narrowed his eyes on Sena's back.

Shoulders elevated and held tight and narrow. Head ducking slightly. Feet shuffling. Fingers fidgeting. Shin stood on the sidewalk just a few minutes down the road, sighing softly. The symptoms he'd noted only got worse the further they got.

"Sena."

Sena jumped and stiffened all over.

" _Sena_."

Gradually, Sena turned around, eyes on the ground and hands wringing.

"What's wrong?"

"I…uh…" Sena licked his lips and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I've never done this," he whispered at last.

Shin stared for a long moment. Then, he gently placed the oranges down, set the sake on top, and placed his hands on Sena's shoulders. Rather than making him shrink further, Sena entire body went lax. It was rather flattering that Shin's touch _calmed_ Sena instead of making it worse. Putting that thought aside, though.

"If it helps, I've never met my significant other's parents before, either," Shin said reassuringly. Sena let out a startled laugh.

"I dunno if that helps, actually, but thanks. I just…I know my parents know it's _you_ , that they'd technically met you, but… they've never…never had to _see_ it, you know? I know it's the 21st century, and being gay in Japan, in _Tokyo_ , it's not, like, the end of the world, but… there's hearing me _say_ it, and then there's _seeing it_. I don't know… I don't know if they're honestly okay with it, or just saying they are because it makes me happy," Sena explained sadly, dark eyes even darker as they fell to the ground. His mouth twisted down and hands clenched.

This wasn't like Sena's other insecurities, Shin knew. This was something big and important to Sena. He'd accepted being who and what he was in USA, but honoring one's parents, making them proud, Sena would always have that need in him. Coming face to face with the fact that he might not, and there'd be no way to _change_ that, not without denying an important part of himself— Shin could finally see why Sena had put this off so long.

"Even if they are just saying it, it signifies that your happiness means a great deal to them, Sena. They love you, and care about what makes you happy. Does this make you happy?" Shin asked, thumbs carelessly brushing over Sena's collarbones and voice lowering.

"Yes! Of course it does! Of course _you_ do! I think we've been through enough to make that obvious!" Sena exclaimed, almost _annoyed_. Shin had to fight back pride at that. Those few counselling appointments were already helping, in Shin's unprofessional opinion.

"Then, we just need to be ourselves and it will be okay."

Sena took a deep breath, releasing slowly before he pulled on a small smile.

"Yeah, you're right. You know me, though. I always gotta worry about everything first," he said wryly.

"Not this time," Shin promised, hands cupping Sena's face.

Something knowing and expectant entered Sena's brown eyes then. Brown eyes that flicked down to Shin's mouth almost too fast to catch it. A blush heated up Sena's cheeks, some little embarrassment for thinking about intimacy so quickly, Shin figured. A whole week of not seeing Sena's face had Shin pausing much longer than usual, thumbs tracing over cheekbones and fingers tracing the shell of his ears before sinking into thick brown hair. Eyelids slid down, half-hiding the dark irises and dilating pupils, and Shin wondered how he could forget just how dark and thick those lashes were, or the exact shape of Sena's mouth.

"I missed you," he confessed quietly. Sena smiled, blush even brighter.

"It was only a week," Sena argued bemusedly.

Shin shrugged.

"I missed you, too," Sena confessed. His hands came up to wrap around Shin's wrists. "But my parents are waiting, so maybe we should hurry…?"

Shin huffed in amusement, and leaned through the distance between them to finally kiss Sena hello. Sena's wide grin made it awkward at first, but it was the kind of awkward Shin enjoyed. He liked the feel of Sena's smile against his mouth. But he liked it just as much when the smile ended and Sena finally kissed back.

They made it to the Kobayakawa residence just barely in time. They might've run a little to make up for lost time, but it wasn't like it was a difficulty for them. Sena led Shin inside, grinning and still a little flushed, and they traded their shoes for slippers. A familiar meow had Shin's head jerking up. The small black-and-white cat from the Christmas Bowl wound its way around the corner, yellow eyes gleaming and tail-tip twitching.

"Heya, Pitt!" Sena greeted, patting her head affectionately. She lifted off her front paws to nuzzle her face into Sena's palm and then slide her whole body sinuously under his hand. He gave another scratch to her head, chuckling. "Missed me, huh?"

Shin crouched down and held out his fingers when Pitt turned her gleaming gaze towards him. Again, her whiskers tickled his fingers, nose twitching in interest. She sat back on her haunches, tail wrapping around her feet, tail-tip tapping the ground as she stared eerily at his face.

"Does she remember me?" Shin asked with a frown.

"I dunno, maybe? C'mon, let's give Mom and Dad your gifts before they get broken somehow," Sena suggested dryly. Shin got back to his feet and grabbed the crate and box.

"They made it this far," Shin pointed out.

"It'll be just my luck if they end up broken as soon as they get here," Sena joked, shaking his head.

Something wrapped around Shin's ankles and he froze, legs awkwardly spread and knees bent. He couldn't see past the crate in his arms, but he heard Pitt meow as she twined her way around his ankles, her head rubbing against his slacks.

"Sena."

Sena turned and laughed as soon as he saw it. He reached down and scooped a protesting Pitt into his arms.

"Hello, did I hear you- it _is_ you!" Mihae Kobayakawa exclaimed joyously as she came around the corner. "Why are you still in the doorway, come in come in! Is that for us!? Oh, Seijuuro-kun, you shouldn't have!" she enthused, barely stopping for breath and plucking the gifts right out of his arms. "Papa dear! Come see what Seijuuro-kun brought for us!"

She was out of sight a second later. Sena gestured for Shin to hurry along and they made their way into the living room. The walls had pictures of their small family in different vacations and on various holidays. Since there were normally only three people, the two males looking eerily similiar, it was easy to guess they were the Kobayakawas. A few had some of Sena's friends, people Shin could barely recognize by their clothing or hair color. Anezaki was easy to spot with her auburn hair, and Hiruma with his piercings... Shin was mostly surprised there actually _was_ a picture with Hiruma in it. He didn't seem the type for group photos, but it looked like Anezaki's graduation ceremony, so her, Kurita (recognized by his sheer size), and Musashi (with the mohawk and facial hair) were in the picture as well. There was one from the Christmas Bowl, that very first one, with Sena sweaty and muddy and still in uniform, helmet tucked under his arm, with both parents on each side, and Pitt in Mihae's arms. There was some from Sena's different graduations- kindergarten, grade school, middle school, high school in Notre Dame, his acceptance letter from Enma framed. Apparently the Kobayakawas had gone to America for his graduation and gone to Indianapolis and Chicago for a few days. No wonder he'd almost been late coming back to Japan.

Shuma was sitting in his chair, folded newspaper on his knee, and the sake bottle in his hands. The glasses had slipped down his nose as he read the label.

"This is… an expensive brand for a college student…" Shuma said in shock.

"My mother gave it to me, with her regards," Shin told them as he entered. Shuma glanced up, a little jump betraying his inattention.

"Oh, yes, of course. How are your parents, Shin-kun?" Shuma asked as he got to his feet. Shin placed his hands next to his thighs and bowed slightly.

"They're doing well. Thank you. How have you and Kobayakawa-san been?" he inquired. Mihae wandered in then, a tray of tea and crackers in her hands.

"Please, sweetie, just call me Mihae-san. You and Sena have been dating for almost five months! And we've met you years ago. Let's be family and not strangers," she offered cheerfully. She set the tray down. "Sena, sit down and make sure Seijuuro-kun is comfortable. I'm so _happy_ to see you again, dear," she returned her attention to Shin. "I just _knew_ you two would end up together, didn't I, dear?" she turned to her husband now. He nodded his head in acquiescence.

"We did. Ever since Christmas Bowl," he agreed. She giggled and clapped her hands as she perched on the chair's arm next to her husband. Sena blushed from hairline to collarbone as they sat down on the couch next to each other.

The moment they sat, Pitt jumped from Sena's arms onto Shin's lap. He stared down at her, eyebrows high, as she circled his lap, curled up, and began to knead his pants, purring loudly. Sena choked back laughter behind his fist, still red faced.

As per Shin's expectations, tea followed by dinner went just fine. Mihae kept up a constant chatter, dragging answers out of Shin for every nonsensical question she had all while puttering around making sure everyone had enough to eat, drink, and were comfortable. Shuma occasionally asked a question or put forth an opinion of his own, but mostly he sat quietly, eyes pensive but warm behind his glasses. Whenever Shin tried to directly address Shuma, however, the man descended into the same red-faced, stammering embarrassment his son had. It was surprising how similar Sena was to his father. Though Mihae's cheerful optimism and caring nature had also passed down to their son (though both were traits that were still growing).

All in all, Shin considered it a success. Not once did it seem like they were put out by a man being at their table instead of a woman. Not once were there insinuations that their relationship was wrong, or a phase, or unimportant. They were wholly and completely supportive of their relationship. In fact, Mihae kept teasing about wedding planning and adopting grandchildren, which had both Shuma and Sena choking on their drinks. Shin just nodded very seriously, because thinking about the future was a very wise course of action. He had no intention of thinking of an expiration date to their relationship, so their future _together_ was an obvious topic of conversation. He was glad Sena's parents, his mother at least, had no problem with adoptive grandchildren. It was a very open-minded acceptance he wasn't sure his own parents would approve of without some intense discussion.

When it got too late and it was past time for Shin to leave, he was actually sad to go. Mihae shoved containers of leftovers in his hands, which he gratefully accepted. Sena had given her his recipes to cook from, so everything they'd eaten was from his own nutritionist's approved meal plans. It would be nice to focus on his first few days of school without worrying about cooking.

"Thank you for having me," he said, bowing at the doorway. Mihae and Shuma bowed back, both smiling, Mihae much wider and boldly than her husband. He had to bend down and scoop Pitt up from around his ankles. He handed her over to Mihae with a frown.

"It was a pleasure to have you. Please, come again soon! You two can help Papa and me drink that sake. We really can't drink it all alone," she offered with a grin, cuddling Pitt close.

"It was a very nice gift. Please, thank your mother for us."

"I will," Shin agreed.

"Come on, Seijuuro. You're gonna miss the last train," Sena warned, hand on the door already.

"I could run to Oujou if I must," Shin pointed out. He placed the house slippers on the rack and then turned towards Sena.

"I'd rather you take the subway. I'll be back soon!" he called out. The Kobayakawas said their last goodbyes, Pitt meowing piteously as the door closed.

They walked down the sidewalk in the twilight, hands shoved in pockets and jacket collars pulled up high. It was starting to cool down in the evening this close to autumn and Shin raised his face into the air to feel the gentle bite of it. Next to him, Sena began to laugh. Shin looked over at him, eyebrow rising in question. Sena shook his head and reached out. Catching the gesture, Shin pulled his hand free and held it out for Sena to slip his smaller hand into and squeeze gently. Shin squeezed back.

"I thought it would be awkward," Sena finally explained, hand gesticulating enthusiastically, "but I think my family likes _you_ more than they like _me_. Including my cat!"

"Don't be ridiculous. Your parents love you," Shin replied with a slight huff.

Sena glanced up at him, mouth still twitching with humor. "What about my cat?"

Shin felt his own mouth curve up in response. "The cat definitely likes me more."

" _Seijuuro!"_

The sound of Sena's outraged laughter filled Shin's chest with something warm. Relationships were complicated, and sometimes Sena got worried over nothing and confused Shin beyond belief. But it was definitely worth it for days like today, and laughter like that.


	12. Parents Part II

**How they met each other's families?** **Thoughts on each other's family?** **Favorite family member?** **Favorite family member of their lover?**

 **...**

The Shins

Fall semester had proven to be Sena's personal Hell. Which really said a lot since he came from Deimon during Hiruma's reign and was a personal puppet of said-reign. He had stupidly loaded up on intro science courses in anticipation of declaring his major and applying to the program he wanted in his sophomore year. Football practices were twice daily, with extra-long strategy sessions afterwards, and games lined up one right after another. Other than group activities (such as festivals and his birthday party) the only times he really got to see Shin were at games, or the one or two dates they had managed to eke out (including their 6 month anniversary date). If they _both_ weren't _equally_ obsessed with football and facing each other at the Rice Bowl, they might've ended up _breaking_ up they saw each other so little.

The only good thing that came out of it was an actual joke Shin had made about his improvement at texting, which had become their main form of communication. Speaking of which…

[ **To: Seiju-chan** ] **u guys did amazing against tkk today :)** Sena typed the moment he fell into bed that night. He frowned at the nickname before letting out a groan. Suzuna, Monta, and Riku had all taken to changing it whenever Sena forgot to keep track of his cell. Usually to very embarrassing ones, this one wasn't so bad in comparison. And he was too tired to be bothered into changing it. Especially when Seijuuro replied a moment later.

[ **From: Seiju-chan** ] _**One game closer to meeting you at Christmas Bowl. Your match with Hokkyo was superbly played.**_

Sena couldn't stop the grin- full of excitement and affection at once.

 **Enmas up against SKD for the semis theyve been training extra hard since spring**

 _ **You could always punch Agon again first.**_

Sena barked out a laugh and slapped a hand over his face. That didn't exactly sound like Seijuuro, which made the laughter more shocked than anything.

 _ **That was Sakuraba's suggestion, not mine. I do not recommend it.**_

The laughter choked and sputtered as he tried to stifle it as humor tipped the shock.

 **If it happens again U get to punch him my knuckles hurt for a WEEK**

 _ **Sakuraba told me to inform you that I laughed. …he said 'huffed loudly enough he heard it'. It was laughter. I don't understand why he wanted me to explain it in detail.**_

 **I get it dont worry** Sena grinned and his thumbs hovered over the keys. **Did**

He froze, staring at the single word and the blinking cursor. He'd been antsy and really excited about it for days, but how to bring it up? Did they even have time between now and semis with final exams about to start, too? But he couldn't help it. Even Sakuraba hadn't been there and Sena was _dying_ of curiosity. After chewing on his bottom lip just long enough it started to hurt, he backspaced and tried again.

 **Are we going to wait until winter break to visit your parents?**

He hit send before he could second guess himself anymore. The ensuing silence had Sena fidgeting on his bunk, bare heel tapping against the bed frame and thumbs drumming on the flat screen of his phone.

"I'mgonnakillyou," Riku mumbled from where his face was smashed into his pillow across the room.

"Sorry! I'm stopping! Go to sleep!" Sena exclaimed, feet bracing against the ceiling and whole body freezing. Riku turned over to face the wall and was out in seconds. With a relieved sigh, Sena slowly let himself unfreeze and sprawl over his bed. Finally, his phone lit up next to his cheek. After a wary glance in Riku's direction, he flipped over and eagerly swiped open the text.

 _ **We both have next weekend free. We can go after practice.**_

 **Thats great!** Sena grinned, stomach swooping and clenching in both excitement and nerves. **Meet at OU?**

 _ **No, my parents are sending you a car.**_

Sena stared at the screen, blinking. Slowly, his mind churned over the look of Oujou campus, the easy way Shin paid for groceries and their few dates that actually needed money, even the thoughtless manner he paid for that new phone. Money hadn't actually come up then until Sena mentioned getting a cheaper phone would be better because Shin might _break it_ , not for any economic reasons.

Sweat dripped down his temple. _Is… AM I DATING A RICH GUY?_

 **A car…?** He prompted hesitantly.

 _ **My mother insisted she would send our chauffeur to pick you up. It would be rude otherwise. I'll most likely already be there.**_

"What kind gift am I supposed to bring to a family that _has a chauffeur_?" Sena squeaked. He could _feel_ his pupils dilating.

…

Suzuna busied herself with checking his hair and tugging on his clothes here and there. Sena just gulped and let her fuss. The tin can of expensive European cookies (that he'd spent an entire month's allowance on until his mother found out and scolded him for not asking for extra to cover it) rattled in his hands. His emotions were pingponging between happy to see Seijuuro for the first time in a _month_ , to terrified of going to a friggin' mansion and breaking something, to excited he'd _finally_ be meeting Seijuuro's mysterious parents, to _horrified_ by the idea that they'd hate him on sight. There was no hiding how very _not_ rich he was, and his best clothes included his Enma sweater (by far his cleanest since he'd never worn it) and slacks that were several centimeters too short, made obvious whenever he sat down. _I just won't sit down_ , Sena told himself, eyes spinning.

"Sena, I think you're hyperventilating," Suzuna warned worriedly.

"N-No I-I-I'm n-n-n-n-not," he forced past chattering teeth.

"This would be cute if it wasn't so pathetic," Suzuna sighed, patting his unruly, misbehaving hair one last time. Riku snorted from behind his psych 101 textbook.

"They're gonna love you, Sena. Don't be such a worrywart," Monta said encouragingly, slapping Sena's back so hard he stumbled forward and almost dropped the cookie box. It didn't help his palms were sweating like crazy.

"B-But he h-has a _chauffeur_ ," Sena protested, his eyes wide and agonized. "How in the world did I end up dating someone whose family has a _chauffeur_?"

"Because you're not dating him for the chauffeur, you dimwit," Riku scoffed with over-exaggerated eyeroll. "You're dating him because you're both football nuts and the best in the league, arguably best in the fuckin' world."

"He's right. I got it!" Monta cried, half-choking Sena as he wrapped his wiry, but densely muscled arm around the runningback's neck. "Whenever you get freaked out by the castle-"

"He's not a prince, Monta-kun," Suzuna interjected in exasperation.

"Just picture Shin-san in his football uniform! _Max_ great idea! You aren't scared of him on the football field!"

"H-His football uniform. I c-can… I c-can do that," Sena whispered.

"Or just remember rich people aren't mythical creatures and you're just the same as them," Riku muttered under his breath, going back to his psychology text.

"Oh! Oh! I think I see it! It looks shiny and classy enough!" Suzuna exclaimed, shading her eyes.

Monta and Sena froze, eyes wide, as a long, shiny, European car, a glossy black and even shinier chrome, glided to a stop in front of them. The door opened and a tall man, wearing a hat and suit more expensive than some of Sena's amefuto gear _combined_ walked around the hood. The older gentleman bowed and held up a small sign with Sena's name on it.

"I presume Kobayakawa, Sena is among you?" the man asked in an overly polite tone. His eyes swept right over the fish-gaping Monta and Sena, lingered on the wide-eyed Suzuna, and then landed on Riku. "I'm with the Shin Family," he seemed to address Riku.

Whose blue eyes widened and a slight flush crawled over his cheeks and nose before he slammed his book shut with a dark scowl.

"Kobayakawa, Sena is right _here_ ," Riku snapped, simultaneously yanking Monta back and kicking Sena forward.

Cookies rattled as Sena almost stumbled right into the man. He cringed awkwardly, back hunched and head ducking as he rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled breathily.

"H-Hi- I mean, g-good afternoon. That's me, I'm Sekawa- Kobasena- Kobayakawa, Sena. Yup, that's me," Sena stammered, going dizzy and light-headed.

All three of his friends groaned inwardly.

The gentleman merely lifted an eyebrow and bowed again. "If you'll allow me, Kobayakawa-san," he offered, swinging open the back door and gesturing Sena to enter.

"Uh, yes, th-thanks. Uh, I'm Sena. I mean, you know that, I meant you can _call_ me Sena. What's your name?" he asked, bowing in return about three times. The man stared silently.

"Hoshino."

"O-Oh, n-nice. Nice to meet you. Please t-take good care of me," Sena said politely, bowing again. "My m-mother thought I should get you something too, it's n-not much." He held out a small box of vitamin drinks and bowed hurriedly.

For the first time, the chauffeur's cool composure broke as his lips twitched.

"It's unnecessary to gift the chauffeur, but very appreciated all the same. Be sure to thank your mother for me," Hoshino replied, taking the drinks and bowing once more. "If you'd please enter the vehicle, Sena-san?"

"Y-yeah, th-thanks. Bye, guys!" Sena called over his shoulder with a wave. They waved back. He of course tripped his way inside and settled with a grunt onto cool, leather seats that fitted to his body like silky butter. (No one said he was good at similes.)

Hoshino drove him through Tokyo expertly, the engine purring and the turns so smooth Sena barely noticed. Compared to friends' scooters or game busses or the occasional taxi, this ride through Tokyo was the nicest, least terrifying one Sena had ever had. Hoshino kept silent the whole way, but the stereo played low-volume classical music. Instead of his anxiety ramping up higher the closer they got, Sena was relaxing into the comfortable seat, eyes drooping shut, as scenery flashed by and violins echoed between his ears. Which of course led him to being completely unprepared for his destination when the car began to slow. The loud hissing-fizzle of an intercom, and Hoshino's quiet voice, had Sena jerking upright, eyes blinking rapidly to clear them.

Only to blink _more_ and then widen impossibly as his jaw dropped somewhere near his ankles. He pressed up close to the window, cheek flattening to cool glass, while the car rolled through the large, ornate, iron fence.

" _Whoa_ ," Sena whispered. _Maybe Monta-kun was right. It might actually be a castle!_ He thought to himself as he sweatdropped apprehensively.

There was an actual lawn, with a broad graveled driveway leading up to the house. Mansion. Mini-castle. He was pretty sure those giant, first-floor windows were bigger than the wall outside his parents' house. Giant windows set into pretty yellow brick walls with columns holding up the second- and third-story balconies and… (what were those things called? Oh right) were those _actual_ turrets on each side? Were those fancy naked statues on the lawn? Was that a _marble fountain_ in the middle of the roundabout in front of the house? Yes, the answer to all of those were _yes_. As the car finally stopped, Sena stared upwards, gulping painfully, taking in the sweeping stairs towards the large double doors, the beautiful velvety-looking curtains hanging in every window, the stone urns overflowing with vibrant flowers and shrubberies.

At the top step, a short, broad-shouldered, barrel-chested man stood grinning widely. Sena was so absorbed in gaping, he didn't even notice the car coming to a complete stop, or Hoshino leaving the vehicle. A dark figure crossing his line of vision and the click of the door under his hand had him leaning back just in time for the door to swing smoothly open.

"If you please, Sena-san," Hoshino gestured with a slight bow.

Sena gulped, grabbed his cookie tin, and gracelessly shuffled out. The moment his feet touched the ground, the short, but _big_ man, hustled down the steps. His large hands were rubbing together delightedly, his light brown eyes twinkling and grin somehow wider and happier. The man had a bit of a gut, but his arms still strained the fabric of his lawn shirt with bulging muscles. His khakis were rather tight on his hips and thighs—though the latter tightness seemed to be more on par with his arms in muscle rather than extraneous fat. There was something about his chin and shoulders that looked familiar, but Sena just couldn't place how. His hand was swept up into a bone-crushing handshake before he could figure it out.

"Well, aren't you a fine looking young man! It's a pleasure to meet you! This _is_ Kobayakawa, Sena, eh, Hoshino? You didn't kidnap me the first cute boy that fit the description you found, did you?"

"No, sir, I wouldn't," Hoshino sighed, put-upon and weary.

The man's head tilted back, mouth gaping wide, as he guffawed.

"Hoshion here is just too damn serious. Sometimes I think he's really my son's father and not me. It's a very sordid idea, isn't it? I just love to tease them for it," the man joshed jollily, winking and tugging Sena along towards the stairs.

Sena yelped quietly, pressing the cookie tin to his chest, and stumbled up the stairs. The words finally computed and he stared at the man's profile.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry, are you…?" Sena stammered, disbelieving and dumbstruck.

"Oh, how rude of me. I'm glad my wife wasn't here to see it. You'd think _she_ was the heiress of old blood, not _me_. Well, heir, not heir _ess_. I'm Shin, Seisuke."

If Shin, Seisuke wasn't dragging him along, Sena probably would've stopped dead. Maybe even fallen down. Because _no way was this Shin Seijuuro's father!_ The over exuberant laughing, the inappropriate teasing, the loud, booming voice— _this man was half of Seijuuro's genes_? … though… the shoulders and jawline… those _were_ just like Seijuuro's. Maybe if the older man had a little less weight and a little more height, his body type would look a little bit more like Seijuuro's, too. Most Japanese didn't pack on muscle quite that well, like the Shin men apparently did.

"Ah, there she is! My lovely wife!" Seisuke crowed happily, his free arm gesturing in front of them.

Sena whipped his head around. The sight of bright, white marble floors and dark wood paneling under walls covered in tasteful, pale yellow, silk wallpaper were barely noticed, and the gleaming knight armors and giant expensively framed paintings even less so. Instead, his eyes were magnetized to the sweeping staircase at the end of the long corridor. It reminded him of one of those Disney movies, he couldn't remember which one, with the top of the staircase branching into two directions and a huge wall of windows. Sunlight streamed through, blinding him momentarily and gilding the dark wood with gold. A tall, statuesque woman slowly made her way down the stairs, one elegant hand lying on the banister at her side. She was willowy and slender where her husband was broad and stout. Shin, Seisuke wore casual clothes, not out of place on a tennis court, but his wife wore a powersuit, grey with almost invisible pinstripes and a blue satin blouse, the kind that had a cascade of ruffles down the chest. Her shining black hair- ah, Seijuuro's- was done up in a perfect knot and clipped neatly. Along with her hair, she shared her son's dark eyes, even the shape similar, the same nose, the same mouth- though hers she rouged with eye-catching crimson- and the same stern resting face.

Sena swallowed painfully as her eyes swept over him, her arching brows contracting, before she glanced at the wrist captured by her husband's grip.

"My love, he is not a child in need of a guide. I am sure you have discomforted him enough already," she admonished in perfectly polished Japanese. The kind Sena heard in fancy movies and TV shows. Not even Shin talked so formally and perfectly.

"Ah! I didn't even think about it! Excuse me, my boy," Seisuke exclaimed, dropping Sena's arm and slapping his hand against the smaller footballer's back instead. Sena 'guh'ed in surprise.

 _So, Seijuuro gets his strength from his dad_.

"I-It's f-fine. H-Hello, Shin-san," Sena stammered, bowing to the elegantly beautiful woman in front of him.

"Please, dear, call me Juuri," she offered, bowing politely. He bowed again, blushing brightly. "My son's friend, Haruto, informed me just over fifteen minutes ago that their American football practice ran late today. In Seijuuro's haste, he broke his phone. Please, do not blame him for his absence or his lack of warning," she informed him.

Sena felt all the blood drain out of his body. He was a wisp of smoke, a ghost, in his sudden debilitating fear.

"H-He's n-not h-here?" Sena whispered hoarsely.

Seisuke's booming guffaw had Sena almost jumping right out of his shoes. "I know we old folks are boring, but we'll keep ya entertained somehow. Won't we, my dear?"

To Sena's surprise, Juuri's stern gaze broke, fondness and something _mischievous_ glittering in her dark eyes.

"Why, yes. Yes, we will."

Sena gulped painfully. "I… I have cookies?" he squeaked desperately.

"Then, I'll ring for tea. My love, you know where to take him, I suppose?"

" **Righti-o**! Follow me, Sena," he announced, taking off down the hallway. As Sena tremblingly followed his stomping footsteps, Juuri set her hand on his shoulder and met his gaze.

"He is a good man, but he spent many years in the West. Forgive his boorish manners if you can. I will be with you two momentarily," she advised kindly.

Sena bowed again. "H-he's not so bad. Neither of you are!" he quickly assured her desperately. A small smile graced her face, making her look _motherly_ rather than flawless and intimidating. She then turned and clicked away. He blinked, noticing the high, expensive heels on her feet, then noticed his own sneakers still firmly on.

"So weird…"

"SENA! ARE YOU LOST?!" boomed Seisuke.

"Coming!"

Sena wiped away tears, stomach hurting and breaths gasping, just a mere half an hour later. His whole body was shaking as he tipped forward. In the middle of wheezing gasp, the door to the parlor swung open. The runningback glanced up, vision blurred and one hand wiping at his eyes again. In the doorway, Shin stood, flummoxed and speechless. It was probably one of the most openly bewildered expressions Sena had seen on Shin's face. He looked as if someone had just thrown a football right in his face and he hadn't seen it coming. His face was flushed, his shirt gaping at the collar and his hair still damp and dripping. From his shoulder, his duffel bag thumped against his hip and jostled him out of his staring.

"Mother, Father… Sena…" he greeted, eyes darting over them and their various red-faced expressions.

Then, his eyes landed on the array of photos and heavy books filled with more. And the gasping laughter- or more restrained chuckles from Juuri- made sense.

"These are great! My parents have some pictures of me, but there are _so many_! You frowned even as a _baby!_ " Sena blurted, waving a photo in his hand even as he burst into laughter again.

"I see," Shin sighed, shoulders slumping.

"Don't be such a spoilsport, son. Get in here and face your fate!" Seisuke ordered with a laugh and wide sweeping gesture.

"Sena provided us with some delicious snacks, though I made sure to have your usual set out," Juuri added as she got to her feet. Shin stepped to his mother, raising his cheek to be kissed, expression resigned.

"Thank you, Mother. I'm sorry I'm late, Sena. I'm glad they kept you entertained," Shin said as he sat down next to Sena on the loveseat. Though his tone was mild, there was something vaguely _grumbly_ about it. The duffel bag flopped forgotten to the ground at his feet.

"It's been great! You didn't tell me you were born in _Germany_! Or that you've been to Switzerland almost every year for Christmas until high school! Look, look, you're at _Rome_ in this picture!" Sena exclaimed, waving a photo of Shin, in blue shorts and with an adorable Pikachu backpack, glaring over his shoulder from where he stood on a small dock.

"That's Venice. The canals are in Venice. I was not fond of Venice," Shin corrected with a dark glance at the gondola just barely seen to the side.

"Poor dear, boats tend to cause him a great deal of motion sickness," Juuri confided as she re-sat on the sofa by her husband.

"Everything gives him motion sickness. It's why he runs everywhere these days! I wasn't surprised at all when he told me he wanted to start running, remember?" Seisuke proclaimed while nudging at Juuri. She gave him an exasperated and affectionate smile.

"Yes, my love."

"Actually, we did go to the amusement park and tried a roller coaster, so I knew that!" Sena replied, grinning ear to ear. Seisuke and Juuri exchanged a glance, and quickly looked away, hands covering their mouths and their shoulders shaking.

Shin scowled.

"Seijuuro, sweetheart," Juuri began when she finally to pulled herself together, "why don't you show Sena the house and the grounds? We have a lovely dinner being prepared, and I am sure you two would like to have a short break from us."

"Really? But I was having so much fun! We were just getting to middle school!" Sena protested with a slight pout. "I wanted to see all him getting into sports. He said he did track and soccer for a while…"

"Next time, dear," Juuri promised. Sena blushed, chin to forehead, at the endearment.

Seisuke clapped his hands together. "My lovely wife is right. You need a break from us. Once you're sitting at dinner, you'll be trapped with us for hours. Go stretch your legs and gawk at my family's wealth. It probably misses being appreciated." Seisuke laughed at his own joke as he reached for another cookie from the tin.

"Thank you, Mother, Father. We'll see you at dinner," Shin said, already on his feet and bowing. Sena jumped up and bowed repeatedly.

"I had a great time! Really! Oh, um, you probably want this back," Sena realized with an awkward chuckle. He held out the Venice photo. Juuri held up a hand and shook her head.

"Keep it, dear. We have plenty of others to peruse."

"Really?! Thanks!"

He stumbled after Shin, waving over his shoulder and trying to dig his wallet out of his backpack at the same time. Keeping up with Shin was actually proving difficult, especially with his attention being torn and Shin using his longer legs to their maximum advantage. His sneakers squeaked over tile until Shin led the way up the staircase. His toe clipped the stairs, jerking him forward and making him over-correct backwards the entire way up, like a slinky going the wrong way.

"H-Hey, wait! Slow down, I'm trying- ack! Wait a sec," Sena pleaded as he tried to slip the picture in his wallet without bending it accidentally. Shin slowed his pace so they were side by side.

"I shouldn't have been late," Shin grunted quietly. Sena glanced over at him, eyes wide and baffled.

"Huh? Oh, you mean _today_? I mean, I guess I was kinda terrified at first, your dad is very… uh… _Western_ , but they were very nice! You look _just_ like your mom! Has anyone told you that?" Sena chattered on gaily. He finally finished with the wallet and swung his backpack over his shoulder once more.

"Yes, most of my relatives have mentioned it. You… You're not upset with me?" Shin asked again, brows furrowing low.

"No, it wasn't your fault. Your phone broke, right? At least you tried to let me know," Sena reassured him. With a lopsided smile, Sena laid his hand on Shin's arm. "You're not upset that they showed me all those embarrassing pictures, are you?"

Shin snorted softly. "I was a child. There was nothing embarrassing about it."

"So… does that mean you still have that Pikachu backpack?" Sena teased hesitantly.

"No. I deemed it inappropriate after my eighth birthday," Shin replied firmly. Sena buried his chuckles behind his fist. "My… mother and father… they didn't… make you uncomfortable?" Shin inquired slowly. He wrapped his hand around Sena's elbow to lead him down another hallway.

Sena's eyes widened, mouth parting in a surprised exhale. Large beautiful vases- a various patterns and shape other than all being as tall as him- were set up along the hallway, and pretty tables with shining crystal bowls full of fragrant petals squatted in the spaces between. Mirrors gleamed on the walls, almost blindingly so as sunlight poured in from giant windows. There were heavy drapes rather than pretty curtains hanging from these windows, with braided golden ropes holding them open.

"N-No, they're were great. Why didn't you tell me _this_ was where you lived?" Sena blurted, almost tripping over the thick, cushiony runner lying down the length of the hallway. It was subdued scarlet in color, with strange paisley-like patterns of gold, ivory, and emerald. "You live in a _castle_!"

"It's my home. It is not a castle, Sena," Shin argued with a shake of his head. He pushed open a door.

Inside, it was a lot more modest. Typically Shin and unsurprisingly, making Sena smile. There was a simple- if large and expensive looking- desk with old high school textbooks and novels still on its shelves, and a large brass lamp on its desktop. A wardrobe- big enough to fit Kurita- was standing in the corner. One door was open to reveal a large mirror and a few white Oujou High uniforms still hanging inside. Shin dropped his duffel at the foot of the bed. It wasn't some giant four-poster thing with stairs leading up, it was actually set pretty close to the ground, with no footboard and only a simple, unadorned headboard with dark blue bedcovers on it. There was a door off to the side, just ajar enough that Sena could see the gleam of a bathroom sink, but he followed Shin to the small table and the floorchairs near the balcony doors. He dropped his own bag next to the table and settled on the ground next to Shin, ignoring the chairs so he could lay his legs out in front of him and lean back on his hands.

He could also sit as close as he wanted to Shin this way, their arms and thighs innocuously sharing heat.

"Were you worried about me and your parents meeting without you?" Sena asked absently, filling the easy silence that had fallen.

"Somewhat. I know how nervous and timid you can be," Shin replied with a shrug. They were close enough Sena could feel the movement.

He chuckled and, a little daringly, tilted just enough to lay his head on Shin's shoulder.

"Yeah, I was pretty terrified at first. And your mom? She's kinda _scarily_ perfect, just like you, actually," Sena laughed. "I think that made it easier, you know? She reminded me so much of you, it was hard to stay terrified. Especially when she and your dad pulled out all those books. You dad kept joking that he thought he'd never get to embarrass you with those pictures, like he thought you'd never date, or something," Sena recollected with a headshake.

"I'm not surprised. My father is a romantic. He's been disappointed for years that I never showed interest in anyone. They didn't…" Shin broke off, frowning even more and body suddenly stiff.

"Seijuuro?" Sena sat up straight to meet Shin's eyes. "What is it?"

"… You had a good time, the whole time?" Shin asked again, scowling heavily.

" _Yes_ , I promise! It was fantastic. You don't have to be so worried. I wouldn't lie to you. I mean, your dad was off-putting at first, he kept shaking my hand and forgetting to let go, but it was _fine_. I really do like them," Sena replied earnestly, beginning to feel concerned at Shin's strange questioning. The tension in his body finally left, his shoulders slumping for a moment before he sat up straight again. "I really like your mom, I don't think I can say that enough. She's kinda _amazing_."

"Good. I'm…relieved. My mother is amazing. My father says she 'walks on water', however, it's just a strange hyperbole he uses. She cannot walk on water." Shin's nostrils flared slightly, his eyes closing, as he regained some control over himself and broke off his almost ramblings abruptly.

"Seijuuro… are you worried about something?" Sena queried outright, a frown slowly forming on his own face.

Shin glanced at him, face blank and inscrutable. After a long moment of intense eye contact, he slowly shook his head. His hand reached up, thumb pressed to the wrinkles on Sena's forehead. His eyes crossed as he tried to look up, before he burst into laughter.

"What are you doing?" Sena demanded with an amused huff.

"I made you frown even though my parents were welcoming and kind. I'm sorry," Shin explained quietly. Sena reached up to pull Shin's hand down. With a blush spreading over his face, Sena slipped his hand into Shin's, fingers entwining.

"You were worried for me. It's not surprising. I was panicking about it all afternoon, and even up to your doorstep. But I'm fine and we're gonna have a great dinner with your parents before I have to go back home. Right?" Sena asked, his free hand fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"Right," Shin agreed.

"Until then… instead of seeing the rest of your house… um…" Sena's blush stained his entire face, crawling up his ears and down his throat. At Shin's quiet, inquiring noise, Sena gulped and closed his eyes. "I missed you. I wouldn't mind staying here. Just us two? Until dinner?" he rushed out, cringing slightly.

"I would like that," Shin agreed without pausing.

Sena glanced up, mouth quirking into a smile. "Yeah?"

"I missed you, too. We've been busy," Shin pointed out. He reached out and cupped Sena's tomato-red face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone.

Sena sighed, melting into the touch. He never realized just _how_ much he missed being this close to Shin, how much he missed the gentle, caring way Shin touched him when they were alone, until they ended up alone again. It was like he'd been on standby, and all the longing he'd buried—under amefuto, and friends, and homework—came back with a vengeance. Moving lightspeed quick, he caught Shin's hand so he could press his lips, not quite a kiss, to his wrist. Sena liked the feeling of Shin's pulse beating against his mouth—steady, constant, and soothing.

The quiet scraping of the floorchair over hardwood had Sena's eyes popping open, his body jerking away in mortification, only for Shin to tug him forward by their linked hands. He squawked in shock as he overbalanced, face knocking into collarbone and pectoral. Then, Shin lay down, his arm around Sena's shoulders, their hands still entangled, and Sena's cheek smooshed to Shin's sternum.

"Okay?" Shin grunted.

Sena grinned against cotton before snuggling closer, one leg wrapping around one of Shin's. This way, their bodies connected in one long line of heat, only their clothes between them. The floor was kinda uncomfortable, sure, and his arm where it was trapped under his torso would probably go numb soon enough. But… well…

"Okay," Sena agreed.

They had so many things to catch up on, assignments and amefuto news and plans for the upcoming winter break to discuss. Instead, Sena watched their hands rise and fall from where they on Shin's slowly expanding and contracting chest and listened to the steady, constant, soothing thump of his heart. They fell asleep on the floor within minutes.

Only Juuri knocking on Shin's door an hour or so later managed to wake them.

...

I made up Hokkyo*** It was not in the manga. Same with the parents, of course. I hope you liked them! XDD

I am SO sorry it took this long to update. I started it pretty soon after the last chapter, but got, like, 2 pages in and couldn't do anything else. I had a very shitty week, ending with a very shitty three hours, until today, at 11 pm, I suddenly just started writing again. It's now 2:25 and I have shit to do tomorrow, because I'm MOVING AGAIN and still haven't finished packing (I need one more box and some bungee cords... which I have no idea how to say in Chinese...). AT LEAST i MANAGED TO UPDATE! AT LAST! I hope you enjoyed the cuddles?


	13. Anniversaries

**What do they do after a hard day at work?**

 **...**

They stood side by side outside the Tokyo Stadium, their mittened hands clasped and their breath fogging out in front of them. It was getting late, and colder, but Sena merely huddled closer to Shin's larger, warmer frame when he shivered. Gratifyingly, Shin wrapped his heavy arm around Sena's shoulders to tuck him as close as possible despite their thick, fluffy layers of winter coats.

"Tomorrow. We made it," Sena whispered, voice trembling with excitement, eyes glowing. Shin nodded, a small quirk to the side of his mouth.

"We'll face each other on the field again."

"The first time in _years_. I can't believe we managed to beat Saikyoudai again! I mean, _Enma_. I'm not surprised Oujou managed it. You guys are pretty amazing this year," Sena complimented, glancing up from under his tuft of bangs and woolen hat to search out Shin's gaze.

Shin did look down, that quirk of his lips growing a bit more. "Enma has done well. You deserve this, too."

Sena blushed and pressed his tingling nose and cheeks to the chilly outer layer of Shin's winter coat. "Ffanks," he mumbled, voice muffled by coat.

Silence descended again and cars whizzed past, churning the icy slush on the roads.

"Hey, Seijuuro?"

"Hn?"

"Today… a year ago… do you remember?" Sena asked hesitantly, ears burning under his hat.

"I'm surprised you remember," was the simple reply. Sena squawked and pushed just far enough away to scowl up at Shin.

Who was looking down at him with those amused eyes that had Sena huffing and looking away.

"I remember things. Besides, I left for America just a couple days later. Of course I remembered," Sena retorted, fighting the pout that was making its way onto his face.

"Ah, of course. I remembered because it was the first time someone told me they wanted to hold my hand," he reached down to squeeze his hand around Sena's again, "and wanted to spend time with me, just because I am me."

Sena's heart thudded painfully, but that happy, _good_ kind of pain.

"Yeah?" he whispered, the toe of his sneaker crunching in the snow.

"It was the first time I've ever wanted to kiss someone."

Blood boiled under his skin as his tongue flickered over his bottom, winter-chapped lip. "It was my first kiss, too."

"You misunderstand me."

Sena glanced up, head tilted. Shin stared across the road, the streetlamp over their heads casting his features in shadow, burnishing his skin gold.

"You're the first person I ever _wanted_ to kiss. Those things you wanted with me, I'd never wanted those things. Hearing you want them from me made me think about them for the first time. It was like my eyes were suddenly opened and I _wanted_ ," Shin explained slowly but unashamedly.

"Oh," Sena breathed. It felt as though his stomach and heart had met somewhere in his throat and it was suddenly hard to swallow.

"You've always managed to push me into greater, better things."

Sena grinned even as his nose burned. Shin had just said that wanting to kiss _Sena_ , wanting to hold his hand, was a 'greater, better thing' and it made his heart _sing_. "Yeah, me too, Seijuuro." He cleared his throat of the mushy, silly quality it had gained. "And now look at us! We're gonna play in the Rice Bowl tomorrow. The _Rice Bowl_. I won't go easy on you, either."

Shin's dark gaze met his, warm and challenging. "I won't, either. I'd never dishonor your skills that way."

"Good. So… before we're enemies on the field, good luck tomorrow. Do your best."

"Good luck. I expect only the best from you."

Sena laughed easily and brightly even as anticipation had his whole body thrumming. His very favorite memories were of facing Shin on the field. It was good to know that it didn't change with their relationship. It made it more fun, in a way. There was an edge and thrill.

"If I kick your team's ass tomorrow, you still gonna kiss me congratulations?" Sena blurted, immediately blushing with shocked wide eyes.

Shin dropped his head, hiding his mouth behind the bright scarlet Enma scarf (gift of Sena) as his shoulders shook. There was a strange huffing, scoffing sort of sound and Sena gasped.

"You're laughing! You're laughing, I can hear it!"

Shin pressed his gloved-clad fist over to the scarf as his shoulders shook harder.

"Hey! Don't hide it! I wanna see! Seijuuro!" Sena exclaimed, tugging at Shin's shoulder as he ducked closer.

He could just make out the scarlet hue of his ears and cheeks. Before he managed to pull Shin's hand away, the taller linebacker turned, cupped Sena's face in both hands, and pressed their mouths together. Sena's protests muffled and died away as he gave in. At least he could feel the smile against his and taste the huffs of laughter. Twilight bruised the sky purple and blue and the streetlight stained the snow gold. And Sena kissed Shin a full year after his desperate, hopeless confession.

It was just as breathtaking and perfect as that first kiss had been.

…

The final buzzer sounded and his helmet fell to the gridiron. He lifted his sweaty, flushed face to the biting winter chill. Snow was falling again. He could feel it dust his steaming skin and melt, slipping like tears down his cheeks.

It was just snow. Snow burning hot on his feverish face.

An arm wrapped around his shoulders, a face pressed to his shoulder pads. Another gloved hand cupped the back of his sweaty neck, squeezing enough to give silent comfort.

"N-Next year," stammered a voice that had never stammered before.

"We'll beat them next year," choked out the other.

Sena grinned, teeth baring in a parody of the word, as more and more snow melted and slipped down his skin.

"Yeah," he agreed. He finally opened his eyes, blinking away the blurry film. "We did great."

"We almost had those assholes," Riku grated out, rubbing his face with his wrist.

"They- they just got lucky _max_ ," Monta sniffled as tears streamed down his face and snot froze under his nose.

Sena and Riku chuckled wetly at Monta's mess of a face. His arm dropped away from Sena's shoulders as he grumbled and tried to swipe his nose clean.

"FLAMES! HUDDLE UP!" bellowed Unsui's cracked voice over Kurita's wild sobs.

The three freshman jogged towards the team. Some had faces screwed up to hold back tears, some were openly sobbing, and a few more were sulking and angry. But they all came together, arms overlapping arms to clasp shoulders.

"We did our best and we did _g-great_! Next year, we'll go all the way through, b-but this year, we made it here. To the Rice Bowl, which is farther than Enma could've dreamed just a couple years ago. We'll meet up for winter practice to make sure we _destroy_ the spring tournament!"

"YEAH!" the team roared back, forcing optimistic bright grins on their faces.

"Now, line up and show them that they won this time, but our pride is undefeated!"

"YEAH!" They straightened up, slapping backs and one-arm-hugging, a few knocking helmets together.

On the field, Enma lined up and faced their conquerors. Oujou Silver Knights. Across from him, Sena met Shin's gaze. His lifted his lips into a weak shaky smile just before the bow. When they stood again, he slowly mouthed the words 'congrats', and followed his team off the field. Shin watched him go, mouth scowling but eyes proud.

Sena made sure to take his time in the locker rooms. He kept quiet as his teammates badmouthed the Knights, the usual defeated bitterness talking. The oddest feeling in the world was the feeling of overwhelming disappointment warring with delighted pride. As much as it sucked, it still felt _satisfying_. He knew he'd played his best. He'd given it his all and had his own in-game victories. And really, they had been barely more than a field-goal away from winning. Even one more minute could've tipped the scales in their favor.

But having a boyfriend on the opposing team was not something he wanted to wave in his teammates' faces right now. So he let them all go ahead, even waving Riku and Monta to continue on without him.

"We're all heading out to a bar to drink the sorrow away. You're not going to join in, are you?" Riku asked as Sena dried his hair.

Sena shook his head. "Putting alcohol in a bunch of upset, angry footballers and waving the big 'my boyfriend just smacked half of you into the ground and stole your trophy' flag is _not_ the best idea."

Monta snorted and tugged his beanie over his head. "Makes 'em a bunch of max stupid sore losers. You were one of our highest scorers."

"Yeah, but they'll forget that if they get sulky enough," Riku pointed out. "You're not going to go party with fucking _Oujou_?"

"Nah, I'm not really up for that, either. I'm happy _he's_ happy, and I know we played our hardest, but we still _lost_. Not really in the party mood."

"…we could do something, just us three?" Monta suggested with a pensive frown.

Sena smiled and exhaled quietly. "You guys don't have to do that."

"Nah, but we wanna." Monta thumbed at his nose and grinned.

"Text us when Shin goes to watch his team party. We'll come drag you into trouble," Riku joked.

"Sounds good. I'll see you guys later!"

"Yeah, yeah! Don't go changin' your mind and celebratin' with the enemy, ya hear!?"

Sena shook his head and laughed. The door swung shut behind them and he turned to finish pulling on his layers. It was still warm in the locker room, especially with the last of the steam rolling in from the showers, but it wouldn't be for long. The door swished open while he was pulling a thick, cable-knit Christmas sweater over his head. Still, he turned toward the noise, inquiring noise muffled by yarn. With a hard yank, the sweater popped over his ears and Shin was standing in front of him.

"I was gonna come find you," Sena told him with a lopsided grin.

Shin frowned slightly. "My teammates are…"

"Excited? Really loudly excited?" Sena filled in with a knowing smirk. Shin nodded once. "I figured. I still would've come to congratulate you. You deserve it. You… all of you played really well."

"Thank you," Shin murmured softly, one bare hand cupping Sena's face. His thumb smoothed over the thin skin just below Sena's eye. He wondered if it was still swollen or red from his not-crying of earlier.

"I'm fine. Well, it sucks, but I'm _fine_. I've lost games before," Sena said firmly, mostly convincing himself rather than Shin.

"Fine enough to kiss me congratulations?" Shin asked.

Sena blinked, remembering his surprising words of the night before. He huffed out a laugh that sounded almost like a sob.

"Please. I think that'll make it a little more bearable," Sena admitted in a thick voice.

Oh boy, did Shin _kiss_. Both arms wrapped around Sena's waist, lifting him right off his feet. Quickly and unconsciously, the slighter of the two threw his arms around Shin's neck, fingers digging into the thick muscle of Shin's shoulders. The cool, smooth plane of the locker braced Sena's back, and in a fit of brilliance, he lifted up his weary legs to hook them around Shin's hips. This kiss didn't start out chaste and heat up, it _started_ out hot. Mouths slanted and tongue smoothing over Sena's bottom lip. Surprised but eagerly along for the ride, Sena parted his lips easily. They were actually _loud_ , almost obscene, breathless groans passed back and forth and teeth catching on swelling lips. An outright whimper escaped Sena, back arching and hips pressing forward, when Shin caught his tongue between his teeth and sucked just shy of painfully. Hands dug into Sena's waist, almost brushing through the thick layers of wool and cotton. Sena's fingertips scrabbled over the thick layers of jacket and the heels of his socked feet bumped the back of Shin's thighs, pushing him closer. Just that slight friction and pressure on the front of his jeans had his eyes rolling back even as Shin pulled away, leaving them both gasping and mouths shiny. He didn't go far, though, as he dragged his damp mouth down Sena's throat. His teeth hovered over the wildly beating pulse there, until Sena broke and arched his neck under Shin's mouth, head thudding against the lockers. Stars bloomed behind his eyelids, because of the locker or the feeling of teeth and suction working over his pulse point, who would know. He was panting heavily when Shin's mouth pulled away, leaving the skin there feeling damp and tight. The heavy, hot puffs of breath over the mark that had surely been left behind had shivers running down Sena's spine.

"Wh-What w-was that?" Sena stuttered, eyes half-lidded and voice octaves lower than usual.

"Congratulations."

Sena burst into laughter, sounding drunk and unhinged. He knocked their foreheads together lightly. "That's _my_ line."

"I meant," Shin stopped to clear his throat. He did sound pretty raspy, which had something like _smugness_ blooming in Sena's chest. "I meant that was my congratulations."

His hands smoothed down Sena's sides, brushing over the denim of his pants and the curve of his ass, before cupping the undersides of his thighs.

"Oh," Sena grinned and combed his fingers through damp, silky hair. He must've forgotten to put his hat on. Which was a good thing (for now) as Shin's eyes slid shut, a low hum vibrating in his chest. Like a giant friggin' cat. Sena grinned wider and scratched his nails over Shin's scalp. "I like congratulating you. Maybe… one more time?"

"Might not be a good idea," Shin rumbled, brows contracting.

Sena sighed, but dragged his hands through Shin's hair once more. "Do you need to go meet your teammates?"

"Yes." He sounded more annoyed than excited.

"They're going drinking, aren't they?"

"It is their favorite recreational activity."

"And you're going to sit their scowling in a corner until you feel like your team obligations are fulfilled," Sena scoffed. Shin cracked open an eye with a disgruntled frown. It looked _almost_ like a pout. If Shin's face could do that.

"I enjoy spending time with my teammates."

"I know you do!" Sena exclaimed, legs tightening around Shin's waist as he pulled himself closer. He didn't even think to doubt Shin's strength in holding him up. "But you don't enjoy it _all the time_. That's okay, you know, but at least _try_ to celebrate with them."

"You want me to get drunk."

"That's not what I said. I said, celebrate. Go out of your way to talk to them and scowl a little less. You don't need to get drunk with them to have _fun_ with them," Sena pointed out seriously.

Shin sighed. "You're better at that."

"I am _not_ coming. I'm going to go drown my sorrows in karaoke or something with Riku-kun and Monta-kun. Then, I'll text you good night. But I am not going to be your social buffer tonight."

Shin nodded in understanding, though he didn't look happy about it. He also didn't let Sena put his feet back down.

"Uh. Seijuuro."

He squirmed a little, feet bouncing in the air awkwardly as he blushed. Shin blinked, then pressed Sena back into the locker.

"Uh…"

"Not yet."

"Eh?"

 _Oh_. Sena would've smiled, but his mouth was too occupied.

...

A/N: No, I didn't write out the game, cuz no. But, literally, I tried to write like, three different chapters until I wrote this one. Which I started at, like, 11 pm and finally managed to post at around 3 am. Right now. Fuck diss noise y'all. I'm actually kinda happy with this pointless fluff, though. The next chapter things actually happen and relationship actually progresses. It shall be exciting!


	14. Sleepovers

**Do they attend any** **clubs or formal** **parties together? Do they enjoy a good round of truth or dare? How is the mood set? Who is the big spoon?**

...

"Are we sure we're gonna do this?" Riku asked, arms crossed and face serious. He looked enough like Shin in that moment that Sena had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"Yeah, this is a MAX great idea!" Monta exclaimed, throwing his arms around Sena and Riku's necks and grinning. He squinted and pursed his lips at Riku. "You have a problem all of a sudden?"

Riku sighed roughly and rolled his eyes.

"I think it's a great idea," Sena interrupted firmly. "We're gonna have a great second year at Enma and this is the beginning."

Riku and Monta grinned over at him. With a bit of shuffling on Monta's part, the three young men held out their fists to bump.

"Well, then, if we're going to do it, let's go. Before they look out and see us standing around like dumbasses," Riku said even as he began to stride away. Monta and Sena hurried after him, Monta grumbling under his breath.

Together they entered the office. Several people looked up from their computers or paperwork, and one detached from her cubicle. She was an older woman, maybe in her forties, with a bright red tie and subdued grey skirt-suit, but she smiled genuinely when she saw them. She took the time to greet them by their last names and even shake their hands.

"Thanks, it's good to see you, too, Yoshida-san," Sena greeted politely.

"So, you three have given it enough thought, I hope?" Yoshida-san prompted pleasantly as she led them into the small meeting office.

They all glanced at each other again and then turned back to nod. "Yeah."

"We're gonna take it," Riku added at the end. Yoshida-san smiled widely.

"Excellent! Let's get some tea and snacks and I'll run off to get the paperwork for you."

The boys chorused their thanks and eagerly dove into the snacks set out the moment Yoshida left the room. Shedding winter layers between gobbling down fruit and cookies, the Enma students continuously exchanged grins and awkward chuckles. None of them were older than 19, but they _felt_ very adult sitting in that room and sipping at tea. They were about to rent their very own apartment, in Riku's name and Sena and Monta as co-signers, since Riku was the only one with any sort of credit (thanks to parents who encouraged independence and a part-time job he'd held for over a year). They had already wandered around too many Daiso shops, looking over spatulas and pans and bathroom mats, and comparing prices and arguing over hypothetical colors and designs for their would-be home. But now, it was going to be _real_. All three jerked up straight, Monta and Sena's cheeks bulging around cookies and Riku hurriedly brushing away crumbs from his mouth, as Yoshida-san returned with a folder held carefully in her hands.

"Are you bo- _men_ ready?" Yoshida asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Yeah," Riku answered for them while the other two choked down their mouthfuls.

Signing their signatures on the professionally typed up contract felt too easy and anticlimactic, despite Monta's extravagant flourish on the last page.

Yoshida-san tapped the papers into perfect alignment and slid their copy into a manila folder. The office copy went back into the simple folder in her hands. She glanced over their edgy, almost disappointed faces and bit the inside of her cheek. The moment Riku slipped the contract into his backpack, she cleared her throat meaningfully. All three eyes- black, brown, and startling blue- snapped to attention in her direction.

"How about we go look at that apartment one more time. I have two copies of the keys with me right now. How about you give it a go and start picturing where everything is going to go?" Yoshida offered with a placid smile.

Excitement flooded out the disappointment.

"Y-yeah, that sounds good, right?" Sena asked, twisting to meet his teammates', his _roommates'_ , eyes.

Monta and Riku grinned.

"Hell yeah," they chorused.

The key clicked in the lock and Sena pushed the front door open. Inside, the walls were blindingly white and bare, the floors gleaming, and windows cracked to let in the brisk January breeze. They huddled in the middle of the living/dining/kitchen room area with their mouths hanging open. It seemed so much bigger this time, as they pictured the few pieces of furniture they actually owned and imagined themselves _there_ , living and doing homework and shouting across the spaces at each other.

"Now, you have a month before your contract begins, so start packing and making lists of what you may need. And don't forget, there's only two rooms and three of you. You should probably decide as soon as possible the living arrangements. The day-of is going to be quite stressful enough," Yoshida advised as she bustled around the apartment, pushing windows further open and turning on lights. "There, I'll step outside to give you boys a moment. If you'd like, we can make copies of the key ourselves and you'll be given the receipt to be paid upon arrival. If you want custom ones, you'll have to do that yourself."

"Uh, I- I don't m-mind a regular one?" Sena muttered. Monta and Riku shrugged carelessly as well. "Yeah, we'll do the first thing?"

"Sounds good. I'll be outside," she reminded them with a wink. Her heels clacked on the stone walkway outside, the door swinging slightly ajar.

The three almost sophomores gaped around the apartment, slowly and needlessly tiptoeing through the rooms. They came to a halt in the smallest bedroom.

"She's right," Monta interrupted the silence abruptly. Riku raised an eyebrow as Sena 'hmm'ed curiously from inside the tiny closet. "About choosing who rooms with who. We should decide _right now_."

"Really? Now?" Sena squeaked almost throwing himself out of the closet with wide eyes.

"Yeah, Monta's right. Let's get it over with. I'm pretty sure we'll all agree pretty easily," Riku drawled, leaning back on his heels and crossing his arms. Monta exhaled loudly through his nose.

"If yer about t'say _you_ should have the single room, I'mma punch ya," Monta warned, fist already shaking threateningly. Riku's single eyebrow arched up, unimpressed.

"I can share! I don't mind!" Sena hurried to offer, hands waving placatingly.

Riku scoffed and rolled his eyes. "No, you idiot, _you_ should have it."

Sena blinked in surprise. Besides him, Monta frowned a moment, then his eyes widened.

"I hate t'say it, but Riku's right. Sena, you're the only one dating anybody. It makes sense for you to have it," Monta agreed with a nod.

Riku and Sena stared at him until Monta winced and grimaced. "I didn't tell ya, did I?"

"You… and _Suzuna_?" Sena gasped.

Riku's arms dropped as sympathy shivered across his features. "I'm sorry, Monta. I didn't realize that. I just thought Sena was _more likely_ to have Shin over since they live so far apart. I didn't mean to-"

Monta held up a hand, eyes on the ground and brows contracted close over his nose. "Don't. It's weird when yer not bein' a jerk to me." Riku snorted involuntarily. "Me 'n Suzuna _both_ decided to break up, okay? So don't be all sentimental and crap with me. I care more about amefuto and gettin' into the NFL and she's wantin' to focus on bein' a nurse or whatever. So it just seemed smart to call it off now and still be friends. S'not like we ever said… the _l-word_ or nuthin'," Monta explained quickly, rubbing the side of his nose. "It was just after finals and the Rice Bowl was comin' up, so we didn't say anythin'."

Riku and Sena exchanged a quick glance.

"All right, Monta-kun. We'll drop it. How about instead we buy the _konbini_ out of cheap sake and celebrate signing our lease?" Sena suggested with a slap to Monta's shoulder.

"And if it just so happens we end up smashing empty bottles at 2 in the morning, well, we'll blame it on the sake, right?" Riku added, clapping his other shoulder and grinning.

Monta grinned weakly. "Sounds good to me. 'Specially the bottle breakin' part. It… It feels good to finally _tell_ you guys." He sighed in relief, shoulders slumping. "You should still get the room, Sena," he remembered then, glancing up. Sena blinked in surprise.

"But, Monta-kun-"

"Nope! I don't need no pity! It makes the most sense. Buy my alcohol tonight and call it even, deal?"

Sena huffed lightly and nodded. "All right. Thanks, both of you. We should… we should probably go before Yoshida-san catches a cold, though."

"Right. Yeah, project CELEBRATE MAX!" Monta exclaimed, posing with index finger pointed in the air, grin wide and not quite meeting his eyes.

"I'm gonna drink both you lightweights under the table," Riku muttered as he pushed them out ahead of him. Sena tossed him the key so he could lock the door and then hurried down the stairs to find the patiently waiting Yoshida and her car.

...

Shin stared at the rectangle of cardstock in his hands. Squinting, he read it again. In front of him, Sena shuffled in place, eyes lit up, biting down his excited grin, and unable to keep still. There was a small house with flower pots and a cat on the front, and on the back, written in fancy calligraphy, an invitation to a house warming party. _Sena's_ housewarming party.

"Do you remember me telling you about when me and Monta-kun and Riku-kun went and saw a couple apartments before finals?" Sena asked eagerly. Shin felt a brow rise.

"I thought you said it was a joke?"

"Well, it kinda was, in the beginning, mostly because they kept arguing about who was gonna room with me. Riku-kun managed to talk Monta-kun around last year, but this time it looked like Monta-kun was gonna punch him. Apparently rooming with Taki-kun is _that_ bad, and Mizumachi-kun isn't much better…" Sena rubbed the back of his neck and laughed awkwardly. "At least for Riku-kun and Monta-kun. So I thought, you know, we'll just look around for fun and then get them to agree that we all room with strangers or maybe them two together, but they _really liked_ the apartment idea."

"It is a good idea in theory. I'm more surprised you didn't tell me it when became serious," Shin said slowly.

Shin wasn't the type of person that needed to know every decision Sena, nor did he feel the need to weigh in his own opinion in all of Sena's affairs. He also knew, logically, that he wouldn't have wanted to get an apartment, especially not when their respective universities were so far apart. However… It didn't stop him from feeling…

Excluded.

Frowning lightly at the irrational reaction, he tapped the card in his hand.

"Was the party their idea as well?"

"Yeah, definitely. If you don't want to come you don't have to. I know how you feel about alcohol and parties, but… I'd like you to be there this time," Sena mumbled, shuffling his feet once more and dropping his eyes to the ground. "I wanted you to see my apartment. I have my own room and you could spend the night if you wanted! So you don't have to worry about going all the way back to Oujou if it's too late, and-"

"I'll come," Shin smoothly interjected. The absurd feeling of being disregarded was thankfully receding into nothing and his scowl lifted. "I would enjoy spending time with everyone. I am not _frightened_ of alcohol, Sena. I don't mind if others are drinking while I am not," he pointed out wryly. Sena snickered despite himself.

"Okay, great. I'm glad you'll be there!"

"I would like to take you up on the offer to spend the night as well. It would be more logical to stay the night rather than try to return to OU."

Sena grinned widely. "I'll make sure to tell Riku-kun and Monta-kun. Let's get to that bookstore now before it closes."

Shin nodded once and followed Sena's lead. Careful to keep his face neutral, he could feel several biological signs giving away the true turmoil underneath- slight temperature rise, constriction of his breath, tightening in his belly, growing clamminess of his palms. Despite his easy words and Sena's obviously innocent offer, Shin knew exactly what he'd just agreed to. The last time they'd spent the night together, _in that_ _infuriating sleeping bag_ , Shin had come face to face with passion he could _normally_ control or ignore. It had been so much harder to do so then, and now that he knew what it was like, he couldn't tell if he dreaded or looked forward to it more. He should've said no. It wasn't time yet. But…

Shin's dark eyes glanced down to Sena's happily smiling face and felt the tension building in his shoulders loosen.

But the idea of falling asleep next to Sena again, of more than a few snatched hours on the floor of his parents' home, or on a rickety bunk right after their first, important quarrel, was too tempting to resist. It was funny, in a way, how he'd spent almost ten years resisting temptations and succeeding.

And yet it took less than one year and one singular young man to win over his strongest defenses. No temptation was quite as sweet as Sena Kobayakawa's smile.

…

Sena slid into his chair in front of his computer a few weeks later. Most of his room was already packed up in boxes behind him, shadows and bits of missing paint from posters and tape on his bare wall, and one suitcase open with clothes spilling out lay at the end of his bed. In just another week, Sena would be moving into an apartment with his two best friends, with just enough time to throw a house-warming party before classes began again. Shin was already back in classes, as were most of the others. Enma was one of the only colleges in the area that started so late—almost a month after everyone else. While he was usually leaping for joy and getting ready for his upcoming move and classes, at this moment his stomach was tied up in knots and his heart was lodged in his throat.

Because in a week, Shin would be sleeping in his new bedroom with him. A full overnight sleepover. In his single, private room. The last time they were alone like this had been the night of the fireflies- a night that he couldn't help but blush like a giddy moron about every time he thought of it.

Sena _wanted more_. More of that kind of kissing. More of Shin's heavier body draped over his, his mouth on more of Sena's bared skin, _Sena's_ hands on _Shin's_ bared skin. He wanted to kiss until they were dizzy, and he wanted to know what Shin looked like when he lost total control of himself. He wanted something passionate and wild and he _knew_ he felt it. He knew that Shin drove _him_ crazy in all the best ways—months of erotic dreams and embarrassing morning showers had taught him that—but he still had no idea if Shin felt the same way.

He could've talked to Monta, or Riku, or Mamori, or even Suzuna about this, it was true. They would do their best to help him.

But, well, he just _couldn't_. None of them were in a situation quite like his, or even could understand everything he'd wanted to discuss. But he knew someone who could.

The bubbling ringing sound of Skype filled his room as he fidgeted in his chair, waiting for the other end to pick up.

" **Okay, boyo, I'll have you know it's two bloody AM here,** " drawled a thickened, throaty woman's voice.

Sena blinked in shock. On his screen, the videofeed loaded to show his American friend, Emily. Her short brown hair was a rat's nest around her pale, sleepy face. Blue eyes were hidden behind drooping eyelids and she yawned so wide he almost saw the back of her throat. A light lit behind her as her girlfriend, a gorgeous, tall, Black woman with a short-cropped 'fro slid unto the screen.

" **Ah, it's your cute little gay Skywalker. You needed your Yoda, padawan?** " Taneisha teased with a sleepy wink. Her giant Steven Universe tee slid over her shoulder and her nose ring glinted in the light of the computer screen.

" **I still not understand that reference,** " Sena complained good-naturedly. " **I'm sorry I waked y'all. I can later call back?** "

" **No, no, stay. We actually were** _ **just**_ **going to bed. We fell asleep watching Deadpool so it's probably a good thing you Skyped us awake. It woulda sucked waking up in the morning.** "

" **I love that he still uses your Southern twang, baby,** " Taneisha laughed, kissing Emily's cheek. " **I'll go clean up the living room. Make it quick, Skywalker.** " She blew a kiss at the screen, then stepped out of sight.

Emily smiled goofily after her girlfriend before looking back at Sena. " **What's up, kiddo?** "

" **We're the same age, Em. Are y'all sure it okay? I can call in different time. It's not many important,** " Sena offered again sheepishly. Emily grinned and shook her head.

" **It's not a problem, really. I'm fine. I'm sure it's important, kiddo. You never would've Skyped without double-checking the time otherwise. You're much too considerate usually,** " Emily pointed out, bracing her rounded chin on her fists and blinking her gaze into something more alert. " **Tell your gay Yoda what's shaking, bacon.** "

" **It's about Seijuuro. Again,** " Sena winced. Emily laughed her throaty, head-thrown-back way.

" **Lemme guess, Sen. You still haven't done the do** ," she twisted her finger in the air and rolled her eyes.

"… **no…** " Sena admitted as he tapped his desktop shamefully.

" **And, the actual problem, you haven't talked to him about it at all. So you still aren't sure if he's gay, straight, ace, or the next Jack Harkness.** "

" **The who?** "

" **Sena, don't evade**."

" **No, I have not. Sometime I think… maybe he** _ **is**_ **interest in** _ **you know**_ **, but he never bring it up! He's not** _ **shy**_ **, Ems! Not like me. So I think he isn't interest in** _ **you know**_ ," Sena blurted out, words tumbling over themselves and basic English grammar he'd learned before totally forgotten. Emily sighed and smirked dryly at him.

" **I told you last time, and I'll tell you again: you'll never know what he's thinking unless you** _ **ask**_ **. Maybe he's waiting on** _ **you**_ **to make the first move. You did before you came out to America. For all you know, he could actually be shy about this sex stuff. Especially if he ends up ace. A lot of testimonies from peeps who identify as ace say it took them years to realize that they were normal and not… not 'broken' or shit like that. He could just not be wanting to bring up because he doesn't want to disappoint you** ," Emily replied, speaking slowly and clearly the same things she'd told him a half dozen times before.

" **I know! I know, I just… I might done something stupid, and I not know how to fix it before the time** ," Sena struggled, hands waving in the air. Emily stared at him.

" **Okay, give it up. What'd you do? Call him a robot again**?"

" **No! Never again**!"

" **Good, cuz that was especially low.** "

" **I… I invite him to sleep with me. In my new home.** " Sena grimaced and cringed away from the screen.

" **Wait**." Emily placed her fingers to her temples and a scowl began to form, forehead scrunching. " **Lemme get this straight. The boyfriend who you've wanted to bang for, like, three years** -" Sena squeaked and facepalmed. **"-who may or may not be asexual, who you still haven't talked to about sex** _ **at all**_ **, you invited. To sleep with you. Overnight. In your new apartment where you have your own room**. **In your single, one-person-sized bed**?"

" **Yes** …?"

" **Are you trying to blueball yourself to hell**!?" Emily shrieked before tipping backwards in her chair, arms wrapping around her wide torso tightly as she burst into guffaws. Sena sighed and slumped in his chair, blushing to his ears and pouting. Taneisha poked her head into sight.

" **We're gonna get a noise complaint again, baby. Pull yourself together and stop laughing at the poor boy** ," Taneisha advised in a sleepy, singsong voice before disappearing again.

" **S-Sorry, it's just. You're such an idiot sometimes, Skywalker. Look, there's only one way to fix this and you know it** ," Emily said while wiping at her eyes and rocking forward with a thud in her chair.

" **Ems** ," Sena started in a beseeching tone. Emily tsked unsympathetically.

" **You gotta talk to him. He's a blunt, straightforward sorta guy, right? Just ask him 'you ace'? Or even better, 'do you wanna get frisky'? Or just lie in the bed you made for yourself. Next to an extremely hot guy you wanna climb like a sexy tree. If you can't talk about it with him, then you're just stuck in this hellish limbo. And you know it.** "

Emily's gaze was piercingly and direct, not unlike Shin's. Probably why he'd been so drawn to her the year before. Her no-nonsense, shameless, and blunt way of talking had been so reminiscent of Shin's that it had been comforting rather than scary. Taneisha's calm, cool way of keeping her girlfriend from going too far had also helped.

" **I know you right. But it's** _ **hard**_ **, Ems. I not talk about sex with my** _ **friends**_ **. How can I with Seijuuro**?" Sena whined pathetically. Emily shrugged indifferently.

" **You talk about it with me. You talked about it in the club. If you can trust the GSA, you can trust your boyfriend. Or at least you** _ **should**_ ," she retorted with a finger jab at the screen. Sena gulped.

" **Y'all talked about sex, I a lot listened** ," Sena emphasized resignedly. Emily crowed and fistpumped.

" **You didn't even stutter this time. So proud of you, my young padawan** ," she exclaimed, laughing. Sena blushed and looked away.

" **And that's it for now. We** _ **do**_ **have jobs and school to get to later today** ," Taneisha announced. She placed her hand on the back of Emily's chair and leaned over her shoulder. " **You go 'pussy up', Skywalker. Obviously 'manning up' ain't working for you.** " Emily cackled. " **If you can't talk about sex, then you aren't ready to have it. If you really want to stick it to your man, you gotta say something. Now let me and Ems get some sleep**."

Sena nodded, still blushing. " **Okay, thanks you.** "

" **Good luck, kiddo.** "

The video went black and Sena sighed heavily. Ems and Taneisha were totally right. Though, maybe he wouldn't use the exact wording provided.

Moving in that day had been hard work. A lot of up and down stairs whenever something was too big for the elevator (or whenever the guys got into a pissing contest of who could do it faster, or with heavier boxes), a lot of re-arranging the furniture to Suzuna and Mamori's exacting eyes (even though it wasn't _their_ apartment), and then hurriedly unpacking enough to make the common area presentable for everyone coming by for the party (or staying for the party, apparently Riku's plans of making moving day the same as party day was to make sure there were enough hands on deck to help). Most of the guests were ex-Deimon students and Seibu friends of Riku's, and Enma students.

Their tiny apartment was crowded for hours, people coming in and out, enjoying the early spring night on the balcony or crowding around the living room table. While Monta and Riku melted into the crowd, laughing and chatting easily, Sena was probably in the midst of an ongoing heart attack. He zipped through guests to pick up trash, grabbing random would-be projectiles, catching cigarettes or cups before they fell off the side of the building, turning down music, or offering food or water to various people- some he didn't even recognize and had no idea how they ended up there. Shin, for the most part, stayed in a corner with the other Knights (or ex-Knights) that had been invited (Takami and Sakuraba and Wakana, basically), though sometimes he'd talk with the Takekura crowd.

So maybe Sena was using his hosting panic attack to avoid Shin as much as possible.

Because maybe he still hadn't… erm… "pussied up" as suggested.

Shin had shown up early to help move- which, really, not surprising- had helped Suzuna and Monta on an alcohol run, had even pitched in for the take-out food they'd ordered. In other words, had been the best boyfriend, and friend, ever the entire day. Sena had kissed him exactly once, on the cheek, when he'd first shown up and dropped off his overnight night bag, and then managed to never be alone with him again.

Because Sena Kobayakawa, ace runningback of Enma Flames, Eyeshield 21 and Notre Dame alumnus, college sophomore, co-renter of his own apartment, and nineteen years old… _was an idiot_.

He yelped as hands fell on his shoulders and the bottles and plastic cups in his hands clattered to the ground. Punch, soda, and various kinds of alcohol splattered over his slippers.

"Sena-kun, just _what_ are you doing?" Mamori exclaimed, hands dropping away to prop on her hips. Sena chuckled awkwardly.

"I don't want us to get kicked out our first day here, that's all," Sena hedged nervously. Mamori huffed.

"You've been running around like a gopher all evening. All _day_ , even. Almost half the guests are gone, it's past midnight, and you're missing out on your own party. At least come wind down the night with us," Mamori demanded, toes tapping and her nose wrinkled.

Sena balked and glanced at his wrist. Sure enough, the numbers 12:13 flashed there.

"I had no idea… really?" Sena breathed in amazement. Glancing up, he noticed that there really were less people, the group remaining mostly sitting comfortably on the couch and few chairs in the living room area, instead of being cramped together and basically being on each other's laps like earlier in the night.

"Yes, really. I know you're trying to be a good host, and you're nervous because this is your first time hosting your own party, but you're wearing yourself ragged. We've all missed you tonight. Come on," Mamori told him a little more softly. Her hands wrapped around his arm and pulled him away from the mess of the kitchenette.

"W-Wait! The- I spilled, I should-"

"I'll clean it. Just sit," Riku ordered as Sena stumbled across the room in Mamori's grasp. He grabbed Sena's shoulder and shoved him down on the couch where Riku had just been sitting. And next to Shin.

"B-But-"

"Yeah, Sena, just hang out for a minute. You're making me feel guilty for having fun," Monta joked, elbowing Sena's knee from where he sat on the ground just in front of the couch. Suzuna giggled.

"You're making _everyone_ feel guilty for not helping. Here, have a drink and join in the shenanigans," she teased, shoving a cup filled with punch in his hands.

He sighed gratefully and took a desperate gulp. Suzuna, as well as a handful of others, all raised their hands, expressions of horror on their faces. Too late. The alcohol burned as it went down and hapless Sena spluttered and choked, eyes watering and face red.

"I didn't say _drink it all at once!_ " Suzuna cried. The group burst into laughter- Hiruma's cackles especially loud- while Shin reached over to rub Sena's heaving back.

"Breath slowly, Sena," he murmured under his breath.

"I-I'm t-trying. Wh-Why is the p-p-punch sp-spiked?!" Sena wheezed painfully.

"You think full grown adults drink unspiked fucking punch?" Hiruma drawled incredulously. Sena gesticulated wordlessly.

"YES!"

"Oh, Sena-kun, I thought you knew it was spiked. What were you doing when we mixed it?" Mamori sighed, handing over a napkin.

Sena winced and rubbed at his streaming face. "Probably double-counting the toilet rolls."

"He was very worried about the toilet paper," Shin remembered, eyebrows rising.

Sena waved his arm around the apartment. "What if there hadn't been enough!? With all these people? It would've been terrible!"

"How about we _not_ talk about needing toilet paper?" Sakuraba requested awkwardly.

Sena blushed brightly and slumped back against the couch. His eyes darted up to Shin, a little surprised feeling the weight of Shin's arm still around his shoulders. The taller of them just sat straight up and posture perfect, one hand on his knee, the other casually around Sena. The warmth blooming in his chest had nothing to do with the alcohol he'd accidentally almost drowned himself in. With a grateful, nearly-silent sigh, he slumped into Shin's side.

"Your party fucking sucks if it's already dead," Hiruma piped up as he leaned back and crossed one leg over one knee. Mamori, who was sitting on the arm of the chair he sat in, slapped his shoulder.

"It was the agreement with the leasing office, asshat. We had to drop the noise and headcount by midnight," Riku retorted. He came back from the kitchenette and dropped down to the ground by Kid across from the sofa.

"Normally the quiet curfew is at ten, so they were very lenient towards us," Sena added quickly.

"Besides, we can't play the best party games with a hundred people walking around," Suzuna piped up, her antenna twitching and her eyes glittering mischievously.

Musashi and Kid looked a little weary, and the more timid of the bunch- a.k.a. Sena- looked _wary_ , but the rest all grinned.

"Which one are we starting with?" Mamori asked brightly.

"Oh, something called _Never Have I Ever_ …" Suzuna replied deviously.

Now, Mamori looked wary. "Oh, I thought you meant, like, shiritori or something…"

"No way! We're college students now! Let's do real party games," Monta exclaimed. He and Suzuna high-fived.

"Like you virginal innocents ever did anything to make this interesting," Hiruma tched. Suzuna blushed and huffed.

"Excuse you! It doesn't have to be sexual! I'll go first. Everyone, three fingers up!"

"Three? Not four or five?" Sakuraba whispered to Takami.

"Yes, three! It's a _drinking_ game, Sakkuba-chan," Suzuna retorted snottily. He laughed and shrugged.

"I do not know this game," Shin whispered in Sena's ear.

It took a whole lot more willpower than it should've for Sena not to shudder at that.

"It's easy. Just put your finger down for anything you've done. When it's your turn, you say something you _haven't_ done. You'll get it in no time."

Shin grunted and narrowed his gaze on Suzuna.

The game went pretty much as could be predicted. Sena and Monta almost never put down their fingers. Hiruma and -surprisingly or not surprisingly?- Kid had to drink the most often. Only, they were probably the most veteran drinkers of the group. While Kid kept his turns fairly mild, Hiruma went out of his way to suggest the most embarrassing things, even if almost everyone couldn't put their fingers down. Suzuna ended up turning it into some competition, uttering some truly creatively filthy things as she stared the Commander from Hell down, making him cackle and almost giving Mamori and Sena heart attacks. (Most of Shin's suggestions ended up being of the amefuto variety, although he did have a few surprising ones that involved desserts and had Mamori dropping a finger every time.) When half the group was tipsy, and the tipsiest ones getting bored, the game somehow devolved into a convoluted game of Truth or Dare and Never Have I Ever somehow combined.

Which was an insane and _dangerous_ combination between Suzuna and Hiruma.

"So I just pick a truth or a dare? I suppose… dare?" Shin was saying to Mizumachi as Sena struggled to take away the bottle of sake Suzuna had found somewhere.

"Oh, yeah! I dare you to strip!" Mizumachi brilliantly thought up- probably being inspired by his own (voluntary) state of undress. There were a few splutters around the room as Sena froze in place.

"Ooooh! Fun! Do it!" Suzuna cheered, successfully claiming her alcohol from Sena's lifeless grip.

Shin merely shrugged and pulled his hoodie, and shirt, up, baring his stomach and most of his chest. Sena gurgled and flailed his way towards Shin. "No! D-Don't- clothes stay on in my house!" he shrilled as he yanked the hoodie back down. Shin blinked at him in confusion just a few centimeters from Sena's face.

"That sounds like it'll make sex difficult," Hiruma said casually as he stared down at his phone and popped a gum bubble.

Sena stammered wordlessly.

"The only one with the opportunity for that likes to cockblock himself anyway," Riku muttered. Sena dropped his face in his palms while almost everyone in the room tried, and mostly failed, to control their snorts and snickers.

"You're all the worst. I hate you."

"I think I'm missing something," Shin stated, eyebrows lowering into a scowl. "What's a cockblock- Ah." Understanding dawned when he said it aloud and Sena outright whined like a broken teakettle into his palms. "I prefer to change the topic of conversation now."

"What, is Shin Seijuuro too shy to talk about something?" Juumonji laughed from where he lounged over a pillow, eyes closed and hands clasped over his belly.

"No, he's right, let's talk about something else! Anything else!" Sena shrilled.

"But what about my dare?" Mizumachi pouted, lips pursed exaggeratedly.

"I will choose truth instead," Shin replied with another careless shrug.

"Ah, pooey. Uh," Mizumachi scratched his ear with his pinky as he brainstormed. "Do you watch tentacle porn?"

Almost every jaw dropped and Mamori facepalmed in pain.

"No. I don't want to know what that is," Shin said firmly. Mizumachi grinned wide and unrepentant. He winced at Kakei's slap to the back of his head.

The game moved on, much to Sena's relief. Shin's dare to Takami involved a feat of acrobatics and athleticism that literally _only_ Shin would ever do on a regular basis, but Takami gave it his best. And so it went, a few more people getting up to leave and a few others tottering between drunk and asleep. Shin was one of the few tottering towards more asleep. Sena caught himself smiling like a besotting idiot more than a few times as he watched Shin jerk himself upright a couple times, eyes blinking sluggishly.

Sena's turn came around, some silly dare with a tongue twister and ice cubes. He turned to Shin and asked the usual prompt.

"Truth," Shin replied easily.

"Are you **asexual**?"

Mamori, Riku, Hiruma, Suzuna, Takami, and Musashi stared at him in various expression of shock. Riku tched and slapped a hand over his face a second later while the remaining who didn't understand frowned in confusion.

Sena, for his part, felt his warm buzzy-sleepy feeling disappear like a slap to the face. Shin squinted at him, bewilderment on his features, and all the blood in Sena's body rushed to his head. It felt as though steam was surging out of his ears.

"Ah-uh-uh-" Sena stuttered.

"Wait, I don't geddit, wassat?" Monta slurred sleepily.

"Things finally got interesting," Hiruma muttered. Mamori dropped her hand from where she'd covered her mouth.

"We should probably go! It's very late. Come on, let's go," she announced getting to her feet. Hiruma rolled his eyes, but Musashi was already grabbing their coats so the blonde got to his feet as well.

"I didn't- you don't-" Sena squeaked, hands flailing. "I'll ask a different question."

"I don't understand the first question. Was that English?" Shin asked, puzzled.

"I definitely think we should go, too," Takami said, helping a half-unconscious Wakana to her feet. Sakuraba scrambled up to prop her up between them.

"We'll see you at school, Shin!" Sakuraba called over, waving and grinning awkwardly.

"Whassat?" Monta repeated dumbly. He grunted as Riku jerked him to his feet and Suzuna grabbed his coat. "Where we goin'?"

"You're staying at my apartment tonight," Kid told him, patting his back.

"Thanks, Kid. Hey, Sena, good luck!" Riku called over his shoulder, waving and winking. Monta waved with a dumb, sleepy smile.

"Wait! Don't!"

He stared at the door, hands raising fruitlessly, as it closed behind the last stragglers. His own roommates and best friends _abandoning_ him. Though, maybe if Monta hadn't been so drunk and sleepy at the same time, he might've stayed. Maybe.

"Sena."

Sena flinched and slowly turned, grimacing and rubbing the back of his neck. Shin's eyebrows raised, expression unimpressed.

"Everyone we know just left within sixty seconds. Just what did you just ask me?"

"A-Asexual," Sena stammered. "I asked if you were asexual."

Shin stared, face blank.

"I'm s-sorry. I d-didn't mean to ask like that! In front of everyone! That was- I can't believe I did that!" Sena rushed to say, face heating. "Let's drop it and we can go to- uh… go to sleep."

Shin raised a hand, stopping Sena in place, and looked away. His scowl darkened and his nostrils flared. Fear and shame tugged at Sena. He never meant to put Shin on the spot like this. He had no idea why he'd done it. Sure, he'd been panicking all night, and the term 'cockblock' had just been thrown around, but still! They'd moved past it and Sena had to just _blurt it out_ like that! His eyes reeled in his head as his breath grew short and choppy. Shin was obviously furious at him and he had every right to it.

"Sena, calm down."

"I-I'm c-calm," Sena wheezed.

"I'm not mad. I'm… _confused_ , but I'm not angry. Please, calm down," Shin said clearly and firmly.

Sena blinked, sucking in a deep breath in shock. "You're n-not?"

"No. Sena, do you think I'm asexual?" Shin inquired slowly. His face was still carefully blank, but his mouth was still in a thin, tight line. Sena swallowed painfully.

"I don't know? It was just a thought, when I was talking with Emily. I mean, sometimes I thought okay, yeah, he's _definitely_ not, but then I never actually… um… noticed anything," Sena gestured towards his lap. Shin's eyebrows jumped up high, and Sena blushed bright red, then flailed, "And you never… you never t-touched me like _that_ , you know? The closest we ever got was on M-Mount Fuji, and it n-never happened again. But it was also, you know, you never talked about it! And you're not shy about stuff, ever, so maybe you just didn't want to, you know?"

Shin dragged a hand over his face, glancing away and frowning.

"Seijuuro?"

"You're younger than me," Shin said abruptly. Sena's spine straightened, face puzzled.

"By a year…?" the runningback agreed cautiously.

Shin huffed loudly and shook his head. "You're _younger_ than me, Sena. It wasn't… It wasn't my place to initiate that intimacy."

Sena felt his mouth drop open. " _What._ "

Shin closed his eyes, inhaled sharply through his nose, then turned his serious gaze to Sena.

"When I first informed my parents of our relationship, my father took me aside for a private conversation. He made the point that, on account of you being the younger of us, I needed to be careful about how I approached anything sexual in nature. If I brought up my own desires, I could unknowingly influence you into moving faster than you honestly wanted, in order to… 'catch up' with me," Shin explained slowly, frowning over his choice of words, dredging up the conversation from memory.

Sena's jaw dropped as his eyes widened. "So… this whole time…you wanted to-"

Shin quickly shook his head. "When I first spoke with my father, I had no inclination towards sex, neither for nor against it. It seemed premature at best. We had barely begun a romantic attachment and were struggling with how to make _that_ work. But then…" Shin's teeth almost clacked he shut his mouth so quickly, eyes darting away _shiftily_. Sena blinked in surprise as Shin's cheeks actually pinkened.

"M-Mount Fuji?" Sena whispered softly. Shin shook his head.

"Before that. After the freeze tag game," Shin muttered.

Sena felt the blush spread from his forehead to his _toes_. "Th-that long?" he squeaked, somehow flattered and _aghast_. "I'd been freaking out over you maybe not ever wanting to have sex with me and how to bring it up and you wanted to since _our second date_. Or, third? Just a couple months after we started!?" he exclaimed, hands burying in his hair and pupils pinpricks. "I'm a _moron_. Emily is going to laugh until she pisses herself if I tell her. I'm never telling her."

"Sena, wait," Shin's hand fell on Sena's shoulder and he glanced up, mortified. "Sex is mostly a nonissue with me and it's easy for me to control those urges. In fact, before… before _us_ , I rarely had those urges at all. It also doesn't change the fact that I agreed with my father's advice."

Sena and Shin shared a long quiet moment of eye contact. Shin's serious and earnest, Sena startled but darkening into determination.

"Why? Why didn't you just _talk_ to me? I wouldn't have agreed to anything I wasn't ready for," Sena argued. His mind flashed back to Mount Fuji, his initial fright and panic of sharing a sleeping bag and what it meant, and realizing he wasn't ready for it, almost to let it happen anyway. Shin had stopped it- apparently on purpose, _that_ was mindblowing and ridiculously obvious in hindsight- so Sena had no idea if… if _he_ would have stopped it. If Shin hadn't decided not to have sex with Sena until Sena asked for it first, if Shin had just kept going, would Sena have let it happen, despite his inner turmoil, because it felt good and he didn't want to let Shin down?

He'd never know for sure, but he was _pretty sure_ he wouldn't have liked his answer.

"Oh."

Shin raised an eyebrow at Sena's quiet epiphany. The shorter of the two shook his head briskly.

"It's… It's nothing," Sena mumbled.

Shin stared at Sena's profile a second longer, before speaking again. "I don't think I could have pressured you into doing something you didn't want, but my father's advice made sense to me in another way. Sena, you're very timid most of the time, but when you _want_ something, when you're _ready_ , you're the bravest person I've ever met."

Sena jerked up his head, eyes wide and heart thudding. Shin's pride in him, his belief in Sena's best qualities, shined from his gaze.

"When you were ready, you would tell me. If you couldn't talk to me, then I assumed you weren't ready yet. I had no idea you thought I might not be attracted to you in that manner." His hand cupped Sena's face, thumbs brushing over his curved cheekbones, gaze dark and intense, so much so Sena quivered under it, belly hot and breath catching. "I am very sexually attracted to you and there have been numerous moments where pulling away from you was the most difficult thing I'd ever done."

Heat surging under his skin, Sena sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, biting just enough to feel the dart of pain. An unconscious way to prove this moment was real. Not some weird, exposition-y dream. Hesitantly, he raised his hands and set them on Shin's thighs. His palms molded to the warm, hard curve of Shin's muscle through the slacks he wore.

"I'm ready _now_ ," Sena said softly. The light flare of Shin's nostrils, the widening of his eyes as his pupils dilated, were his immediate response to Sena's quiet declaration. But he still didn't move. Maybe too shocked? Or maybe he didn't know what to do next either, Sena realized. With a clicking gulp, Sena smoothed his hands higher up Shin's thighs, trying not to show his amazement when he felt Shin shake under his palms. "I really want to- I really _don't_ want to just sleep tonight," Sena half-laughed, eyes dropping to Shin's mouth.

"It's… it's almost 3 AM. We should sleep at some point," Shin replied, his rasping, deepened voice giving him away.

This time, _Sena_ shook. At the sound of Shin's voice and knowing that what it meant, having no doubt of what it meant. He pulled his hands away from Shin's legs, trying not to show how much he hated to, to grasp Shin's wrists. Baffled, Shin let Sena tug his hands away from his face and set them on his waist. Then, with a quavering smile, Sena placed his own hands on Shin's shoulders and clambered awkwardly onto Shin's lap. The sharp intake of breath gave Sena just enough confidence to raise his pupil-blown eyes to meet Shin's.

"That's okay. I've never d-done this b-before, s-so it's p-probably not gonna last long," Sena managed to joke, cheeks stained red and smile lopsided.

Shin stared in silent shock. Then his head ducked, forehead knocking into Sena's lightly, arms wrapping completely around Sena's narrow waist, as his shoulders began to shake. A quiet, rusty-sounding, choked-up chuckle escaped, making Sena's eyes widen. Then, he too was laughing, arms linking around Shin's neck and hands burying into his silky hair.

There was a _real_ laugh coming from Shin, deep and rumbling in his chest, and he _wanted_ Sena. It was probably one of the best moments of Sena's nineteen years. On par with his first touchdown, with winning the Christmas Bowl, with playing the World Cup. Riding high on the same feeling of triumph, he ducked his head down and, nudging past Shin's nose with his own, pressed their mouths together. He felt that laugh against his lips, tasted it on his tongue, and swallowed it down, feeling it like a warmth in his chest even as the actual sound died away. Shin's embrace tightened, pulling them so close together all space between them disappeared. Sena groaned into Shin's mouth, fingers tangling and twisting in his hair, as his groin pressed hard against Shin's lower belly.

Warm, calloused hands slipped under his shirt, sliding up bare skin, fingertips tracing the dip of his spine. Sena pulled away just long enough to grab the back of his shirt and yank it off, tossing it somewhere, _anywhere_ not on him. For a burning moment, his gaze locked with Shin's, taking in the flush on his skin, the shiny gloss to his lips, then one large hand cupped his face while the other smoothed back his back and pulled him closer.

Kissing Shin this time was no holds barred, wild and sloppy. As if neither could figured out what they wanted more, to kiss, to map each other's mouths, to trace the shape of their lips, or to drag their dampened mouths over jawlines to pulse points, only to desperately collide again. With a groan that had Sena's toes curling, Shin tipped Sena's chin up and pressed both teeth and mouth to his throat. He didn't pull away the moment Sena cried out, didn't lighten the pressure when Sena squirmed and ground down, searching for friction. Instead, Shin moved his hand behind Sena's head and worried that patch of skin between his teeth as his other hand cupped the curve of Sena's butt.

"W-Wait," Sena stammered even as his fingers dug into shoulder blades, anchoring him in place. Shin froze, hot breath panting over newly marked skin, causing Sena to shiver almost painfully. "N-No, this is g-great. B-But maybe w-we should m-move to the b-bedroom?" he suggested breathily.

"Hn," Shin grunted. Then _rose_ , taking Sena with him. The runningback yelped with arms tightening around Shin's shoulders and legs automatically wrapping around his waist.

"I c-could've walked!" Sena protested, laughing.

"I've got you," Shin rumbled. Sena pressed his smiling mouth against Shin's neck, slipping up to kiss wet and sucking just under his ear. He grinned, toothy and proud, when Shin stumbled.

"I know you do," he whispered into Shin's ear. For some reason, that caused another stumble, until Shin finally got to the room and kicked the door shut behind him.

…

A/N: Actual explicit sex scenes are saved for the AO3 version. FFN does NOT support NC-17 stories, and while others still post them, I won't. My AO3 is Kitty_KatAllie and the Sleepovers is the first chapters in Part 10: Desires. All explicit chapters will be posted on there in their entirety. So if you want to read the sexy bits, you only need to go to that one Part of the series, rather than surfing through a bunch of random chapters to get to the goodies.

Probably shoulda mentioned before, unless it's texting, anything bolded is in English.

And lastly, no, Shin is not actually asexual. As mentioned before, he's somewhere between greysexual and demisexual. Sena is soooooooooo sooooo gay, though. hahahahahaha


	15. Cheaters

**Who seems most likely to cheat on the other?** **What would happen when the other is caught cheating?**

How Shin Cheats

\- whenever he starts a race without a countdown  
\- when Sena comes to his amefuto practices and Shin takes off his shirt, _every time_. Does he even _know_ what he's doing to Sena?  
\- how his blush starts at his ears, and how he's never quite red, just faintly pink  
\- every time he kisses Sena to distract him  
\- actually, no, every time he kisses Sena ever. He does this stupid thing where he almost always has his hands on Sena's face, or on the back of his head, and Sena. Can't. Even.  
-he's apparently a cat-whisperer. If there's a cat, and Shin is sitting, that cat ends up in Shin's lap. It's like an adorable magical skill. _So_ not okay.  
\- how about how he secretly loves everything sweet (seriously, the sweeter the better), but never lets himself eat any of it. The longing on his face every time they enter a bakery or a coffee shop _slays_ Sena's guilty besotted heart.  
\- his hands. They're just unfair and cheating. They cheat. Okay?  
\- the blunt, shameless, honest way he says 'I love you'  
\- every romantic gesture he never notices is romantic (sunrises, fireflies, holding hands, whispering 'I've got you', his patience for Sena's insecurities, etc)  
\- the way he _remembers everything_. How does he even DO that?  
\- the sounds he makes, the look on his face, the taste and smell of him, the way his naked chest feels against Sena's equally bare back, and the heavy perfect weight of his arm around Sena's waist, Shin's sleeping face on Sena's pillow. Cheating. All of it. Because now Sena's sorta addicted. (Both Riku and Monta have thrown paper balls into his mouth while he daydreamed rather vividly…There had been a point system created and a terrifying choking incident before Sena noticed.)  
\- when his mouth twitches slowly but surely upward into his special sort of smile  
\- his laughter, that raspy, hitching sound that Sena would do _anything_ to hear every single day, but appreciates even more for its rarity

Shin cheats every day. He cheats by being the perfect complement to Sena. By knowing when to trust him, to hit hard and be blunt and hold nothing back. By also knowing when Sena appreciates his gentleness, when he needs to be held, and when Shin needs to stand back and let Sena recover. He cheats because he's become one of the— if not _the_ most important person in Sena's life. He is a rival and a partner, a goal and a solace. He breaks down Sena's fragile shells, but loves him and all his flaws regardless.

Shin is the most honest person Sena has ever met. And no matter how strong, or how talented, an opponent Sena has faced, _none_ have compared to Shin. Shin is ridiculously handsome. Remarkably gentle. Freakishly focused and strong. He is a constant surprise while somehow being consistently dependable and predictable. He's smart, even smarter than he appears, and under the gruff and scowls, is caring and kind. Somehow, this amazing person looked at Sena and _wanted_ him. In every way. It's mind-boggling, senseless, terrifying, and _incredible._

He cheats because he _looks_ at Sena, and Sena feels brave, strong, and kind. Belief and pride shine from dark eyes in a severe expression that belies the warmth underneath. Every time Shin exposes himself, cracks away that reticence and armor to reveal the gentle, romantic man beneath, Sena falls stupidly in love all over again. When this began, when he confessed, only to return and have Shin agree to a relationship, Sena hadn't expected this. He hadn't expected to find so much _more_. He hadn't expected Shin to be everything Sena _needed_. He hadn't expected to fall so totally and completely in love.

He hadn't expected to find his forever.

Shin cheated all of Sena's expectations and now Sena can't imagine his life without him.

…

How Sena Cheats:

\- he never falls behind in a race; no matter how they start, Sena always ends up at Shin's side, if not slightly ahead. Shin has come to anticipate the chase.  
\- the way he never gives up. Ever since that moment in Seisen Stadium, when Sena pushed himself into the endzone, fainting in exhaustion, he has gotten back up and kept growing.  
\- he smiles and the room lights up. Sena is the heart, and he never notices.  
\- how brave he is, but all he sees is his fears  
\- how beautiful he is, but all he sees are his faults  
\- how kind he is, but all he sees are his weaknesses  
\- when he joins Shin at the community center and helps the littlest children win, but still makes the biggest kids feel important and helpful  
\- the way he so easily won Shin's parents' hearts and now the people Shin have loved the longest care about the man Shin's loves the _most_  
 _-_ he re-introduced Shin to mango ice cream and now Shin can't forget the taste of it  
\- whenever he kisses first, or touches first, or _wants_ first cheats Shin of his senses, sometimes even his once-perfect control  
\- it's almost impossible to say no to Sena at all, and it's a problem if Sena ever figures this out. (There's a 99.9% chance that he never will. That .01% is distressing.)  
\- kissing Sena is dangerous, because Shin forgets to stop  
\- loving Sena is dangerous, because Shin never wants to stop

Sena is a temptation of every kind, and he cheats because somehow Shin can't bring himself to care. If Shin could spend the rest of his life in Sena's bed, lying next to him, or over him, or under him, learning the shape and taste of his body, memorizing every scar and "blemish", never looking away or losing the picture of Sena's face in his mind, teasing out every sound and the rasping, breathy way Sena says his name on a gasp- Shin would be perfectly happy. Just as happy as spending every day on the football field, teammates or rivals, running together and becoming stronger together as they do now.

Watching Sena grow into himself, becoming more confident and brighter and stronger, is Shin's favorite new hobby. Once he realized his feelings weren't as platonic as they seemed, once Shin then realized they were in fact that ephemeral thing people call love- whose dictionary entry could not quite describe well enough, and what poets fail to make clear at all (Shin knows, he's tried. Poetry is nonsense to him. He has a vague suspicion they were _all_ imbibing narcotics or other influences of the kind.)- Shin knew that Sena was _it_.

Shin knew he would spend the rest of his life enjoying this chase. The man- and once the boy- known for trying his hardest towards personal perfection had found a new, better goal of spending the rest of his life being everything Sena needed him to be.

The best part was that being himself was exactly what Sena ever asked for and ever needed.

And Sena? Sena cheated by being exactly what _Shin_ had needed all along- and by figuring it out faster.

...

A/N: Funnily enough, the perfect song for this is 'You Da One' by Rihanna. It's funny because I heard it AFTER I finished this chapter and now I'm blasting it on repeat as I edit and post.

Also, the answers to the questions are: THE ONLY ONE CHEATING HERE IS KITTY, BECAUSE I TOTALLY CHEATED ON THESE OTP QUESTIONS. WHUT YOU GONNA DO?! HAHA CAN'T SHAME ME, I DO WUT I WANT

Hahah, there's a kind of pun at the end. "...figuring it out 'faster'" hahaha, geddit?!

Also, I'm gonna start updating extra-stuff on tumblr posts. Stuff like, voting on next chapters, or other ideas outside the series. Some things that have been in Author Notes that are totally unnecessary (like me bitching about my toe and moving LOL). I will still put a notice up here, but if you like me rambling like a dumbass, it'll be there instead.


	16. Blankets

**Do they go to sleep at the same time as each other?** **Who steals the blankets?**

April was warm and humid and _busy_. Unsui was driving the team ever harder to ready everyone for the spring tournament and to properly enthuse the newest recruits without scaring them off (a fine line to walk that Sena was not used to seeing). Sena had _thankfully_ lightened up on himself- courtesy of his newest counselor and all of his friends and his family advocating him to do so- and signed up for less classes, but ended up getting a part-time time job to fill in the extra hours he'd won. Riku, actually, had helped both him _and_ Monta find jobs through the coffee shop he worked at. After a short disastrous training period— where Sena had shaken glasses off of trays and gotten flirted with by so many scary older women, and where Monta had yelled at too many high-schoolers with bad attitudes—they'd both been relegated to the prep and delivery service. The delivery service was mainly for neighboring shops and businesses that had special accounts with the coffee shop, so they mostly just washed dishes, and opened and/or closed the shop as their school schedules allowed.

Closing was Sena's latest shift, and he wobbled himself home in the late dusky twilight. He still had an essay in for his Japanese-lit class to finish, and a chapter in his Bio 200 course to read. Technically, he had some reading to do for his Emergency Aid class as well, but for him it was basically a 'fluff' class until after midterms when they might actually get around to things he _hadn't_ learned from Mamori in high school.

He yawned widely, jaw creaking, as he shoved his key into the lock and shoved the door open with his shoulder. Monta was sitting on the couch in his boxers and t-shirt, slurping noodles from a… bowl? A real bowl? Even Riku had deigned to leave his room to eat on the couch next to Monta, slurping up noodles, too. Riku didn't eat cheap cup noodles like Sena and Monta did. And the smell pervading the small apartment had Sena's nose twitching even as drool gathered in the corners of his mouth.

"Did Mamori-neechan come over?" Sena asked in pleased confusion while dropping his bag to the ground.

Both Monta and Riku snorted rudely.

"Somebody's in _luu-uurve_ ," Monta sang around a mouthful of bright green vegetables.

Wait. Vegetables?

" _Seijuuro_?" Sena yelped, rush-tripping his way across the living area into the kitchette where—yup— _Shin_ was standing in front of their tiny hotplate, giant pot steaming under his scowling concentration face and ladle in hand. "Where did you even find a pot that big here?" he blurted in disbelief.

Shin turned, eyebrows rising and unimpressed. "I brought it."

Sena blushed lightly before sneaking his way closer. "Sorry, I'm just surprised. I didn't know you were coming over."

"That's the intention of a surprise," Shin replied dryly as he turned back to his pot. "I timed everything to be finished just as you returned home from work. I was going to dish yours now."

"You… you brought me a pot of noodles to eat together after work for a surprise?" Sena clarified, eyes widening and mouth twitching at the corners.

Shin frowned lightly. "I made sure to bring enough for Monta and Riku."

"You are literally the best boyfriend in the world."

Shin glared down at the pot and just under the spiky black mess of hair, Sena could see the endearing telltale signs of his ears reddening.

"I was concerned about your diet. Instant noodles do not a meal make," Shin rumbled as he ladled broth and giant chunks of browned beef into a bowl. He set the ladle aside to fish out noodles with long, wooden chopsticks. After a pause, he picked out a few more big chunks of beef for Sena's bowl. The entire process was done meticulously, not even a drop splattering on the counter. And all done without Shin looking towards Sena's dopily grinning face.

Sena couldn't hold it back anymore. He darted forward, wrapping both arms tight around Shin's narrow waist and pressing his face into the hard, wide expanse between Shin's shoulder blades. A small, quiet grunt escaped Shin, vibrating just barely beneath Sena's mouth, causing a soft chuckle to bubble out of the smaller runningback.

"I love you, you know. I missed you this week," Sena mumbled into Shin's broad back. He could feel his whole face burning with the admission. They'd already said the words, a few times, but it was still a little difficult to say out loud. Over a surprise noodle dinner of all things. The chopsticks were set neatly down on their little chopsticks stand and a broad hand curved around Sena's arm.

"I love you, too."

Sena grinned and rubbed his face giddily into Shins' back. Shin was just so _unabashed_ about it all. He didn't go around _singing_ about it, but he never failed to return the sentiment unreservedly.

"I'm gonna put my stuff up. Thanks, Seijuuro," Sena said while pulling reluctantly away.

Shin twisted deftly around before Sena could pull completely away. Sena's hands settled on the taller man's hips and his nose was almost mashed into his sternum. He blinked upwards in surprise, but didn't quite step back. Shin looked wordlessly down at him, hands cupping Sena's elbows, until, just slightly, the edges of his mouth hitched upwards. Sena smiled easily in response, light and warmth blooming in his chest at Shin's direct gaze.

"It's no hardship. I like your apartment. However, you do need a real stove," Shin said simply. Sena laughed outright. "I'll need to leave after eating to return to campus in time."

Sena's mouth twisted up to the side. "Or you can stay the night? We could get up early enough to run together again before you go back. I'd like that."

Shin looked down at him thoughtfully for a long moment. Then, finally, he nodded, that tiny smile quirking up a little higher on one side. "I'd like that, too. If you're sure you're comfortable with me staying."

"Of course I am! You already-"Sena broke off, whole body freezing as he blushed from head to toe. _"oh"_ the sophomore squeaked remembering the first, and last, time Shin had spent the night. Shin snorted softly.

"Spending the night doesn't mean I expect sex every time. I wanted to make that clear," the linebacker told him bluntly.

Sena was pretty sure his blush was in dangerous egg-frying territory now.

"I… I kn-know. I w-wasn't actually th-thinking about it t-till you m-mentioned b-being c-comfortable, then I r-realized _what_ you m-meant," Sena protested weakly.

Shin's eyes closed briefly and his shoulders slumped. "That wasn't what I meant. I knew you'd think of it when we went to bed. I wanted to be clear _now_ before you panicked _later_."

With a startled laugh, Sena thunked his forehead to Shin's chest. "You're so right. Now that we've cleared _that_ up-"

"Have we?"

Sena sputtered. "I think so?"

Shin's expression deadpanned.

"I'm n-not… I'm not expecting that every time, either," Sena muttered, shuffling between Shins' arms as his hands gripped the loose fabric of Shin's shirt over his belly. "I would like to, again, maybe soon?" His questioned hitched up hopefully, eyes peering up from under his lashes to see the slight flare of Shin's nostrils. "But tonight I'd just like to do homework and fall asleep… n-next to you…" The last words mumbled out of him, feeling cheesy and sappy and _humiliating_.

He blinked in surprise as Shin's lips brushed over his forehead.

"Good. Let's eat dinner."

Sena chuckled and darted towards his stuff to be put away. Riku and Monta blew kisses and wolf-whistles as he lightsped past them. On his way back to help Shin bring out their bowls, he threw them both an obscene American hand gesture, causing Monta to clasp his chest in a heart-attack parody and for Riku to bark out a laugh and spill the remainder of his noodle broth all over his lap. The fluid rush of profanity in Sena's wake had him biting back smug laughter.

.

The book shut with a too loud thud. Sena winced and looked over his shoulder worriedly. The unmoving shape of Shin's large body under Sena's covers soothed his flash of guilt. With mincing, quiet movements, Sena slowly put his books away and got ready for bed. Shin had gone to bed at his faultlessly routine time of 8:30 pm, but Sena, who hadn't time managed his life even _half_ as effectively as Shin (who could get across town and _cook him dinner_ and somehow not mess up his structure- was he Superman or something?!), had to stay up a while longer to finish up the last of his assignments. E.A. he merely gave a cursory glance, made sure he recognized it all, but the Bio 200 chapter had taken a lot longer than he'd hoped to finish.

Grimacing at the time (11:30 pm already?!), Sena smoozed his way into his bed, teeth brushed and pajamas on, a scant five minutes after closing his book. The slumbering Shin frowned in his sleep as Sena attempted to curl up close enough to get some pillow and blanket without rocking the bed too much.

Dark eyes blinked sluggishly open and turned his way.

"S-Sorry, Seijuuro, sshh, go back to sleep," Sena hissed desperately.

Another slow blink- reminding him of Pitt adorably enough- and Shin's wide arm snaked out. It was with Trident Tackle speed, and Sena almost toppled right off the bed in an automatic attempt to evade. He squeaked in surprise when the hand snagged a fistful of pajamas and yanked him back into the warm curve of Shin's torso before his face could meet the floor. With throaty, raspy grumbling, Shin tucked the blankets around Sena's half-frozen form, wrapped himself around the smaller sophomore, and pressed his face to the hairline at the back of Sena's head.

Sena broke into chuckles muffled by his fist and pillow as his body relaxed into Shin's.

"Ssshhh," Shin mumbled against Sena's neck.

"S-Sorry."

.

Cold.

It should not be cold.

Technically, Shin supposes it's only _cool_. However, he fell asleep almost too hot, with Sena curled close to him and blankets lying over their prone forms.

Now, the stifling warmth is gone. As are all the blankets.

Which, seeing as he fell asleep in only his briefs and undershirt, makes him now positively _chilled_.

He turns to the side and can't help the amused twitch of his lips or the way he feels himself soften at the sight in front of him.

Sena is curled up, tighter than a caterpillar in a cocoon, cheeks rosy and mouth parted, but from his chin down completely hidden. He's snoring slightly, a whistling snuffling sound that should probably be irritating.

But his mother calls this the 'honeymoon' phase and Shin's beginning to see why.

With a fond, exasperated huff, he gently extricates Sena from his cottony layers. Sena mumbles inarticulately, his eyes twitching but never opening, and his hands reach out pathetically when the blanket pulls completely away. Shin scoops Sena to him, arm around his slender waist and another pulling the blanket over them once more. Sena sighs contently and snuggles closer, nose brushing Shin's collarbone and hands tucking between their chests. There's still another three hours until he needs to rise for a decent morning jog before heading back to OU in time for a shower and classes.

Hopefully with Sena pinned close like this, he won't feel the need to cocoon himself. Shin fits the arm lying over Sena around his shoulders and presses his lips to the smaller, younger man's forehead. He sighs softly, breath warm over Shin's heart.

It wouldn't be _too_ much of a hardship to do all over again.

...

So I've been 1) insanely busy at work, 2) had my 'weekend' days taken over by an annual "teambuilding" event through my job that I didn't even get to really participate in because when the games started. no. one. used. English. And I know some Chinese. BUT NOT WHEN PEOPLE ARE DRUNK, TALKING OVER EACH OTHER, AND NOT USING SIMPLE, BASIC MANDARIN. So. yeah. I did end up learning how to play mahjong with my coworkers though! It was fun~~ 3) I cannot get through the chapter this one was supposed to be. I think Shin-muse is fighting me because it MIGHT be borderline OOC for him. And Shin NEVER fights me. Oh, he can be a romantic sap of an asshole, but I try to make him a little "edgier" and he's like "WHY? I JUST WANNA CHEESEBALL ALL OVER EVERYTHING?!"

So this shit happened. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. BLAME THIS GUY OVER HERE. *glares at Shin* So fluff instead of smut, ENJOY!? And sorry about the late update? ;w;


	17. Marks

**Who's the most possessive? Who gets jealous the easiest? Do they give each other nicknames? Thoughts on each other's friends? A/N:** **Bold text is English**

 **...**

The monotone female voice echoed over the cacophony of _people_. People rushing to and fro, shouting after children or companions, the squeak and rattle of wheels, crying and screeching of sad or overjoyed emotions, the beeping of indoor trolleys. The large blue screen flashed and flickered as it refreshed in front of them. Sena's eyes darted over it anxiously while Shin kept his eyes on Sena. He'd been excited for weeks waiting for this day, but now he was looking more and more worried by the second, completely baffling Shin.

"They sent texts just moments ago," Shin looked expressively down at Sena's hand as his phone chirped once more. "She hasn't _stopped_ sending texts."

"Well, yeah, but it's been _so long_ since they got off the plane. What if they lost their luggage, or someone stole their passports, or they get mistaken for international fugitives, or-?" Sena babbled on and on, pupils shrinking and face blanching as he continued.

Shin's eyebrows jumped high with his incredulity, and Sena stuttered to a stop. With a broken laugh, Sena rubbed the back of his head. "It's just been over a year since I've seen any of them. I keep thinking they couldn't possibly be coming all the way _here_ ," Sena admitted with a sheepish smile as his tense, knotted-up shoulders beginning to slump.

"Your imagination is rather impressive," Shin noted, fondness filling him as Sena stammered and blushed more. Shin was smart, sure, but Sena was _creative_ , a daydreamer to Shin's pragmatist. As much as it bewildered him, Shin couldn't help but enjoy Sena's wild flights of fancy.

Sena's wrenched open his mouth, apparently belatedly finding some words to say in his own defense—who knows why when Shin hadn't been negative about it—but he cut himself off with eyes widening over Shin's shoulder.

"SENSEN!" screeched a voice over the crowd.

The slender brunette flinched and grimaced before a reluctantly delighted grin broke through. Shin mouthed the name 'Sensen' to himself as he turned.

"Ems," Sena breathed, hand raising to wave towards the group that was being led by a maniacally grinning woman Shin's age or older. She parted from the group to rush forward and Shin stepped to the side just in time for the collision of her much larger, heavier body into Sena's slender, deceptively stronger one.

" **My Skywalker**!" the woman who could only be Emily exclaimed, smooshing their cheeks together as she hugged him tightly.

Shin turned back to the group to see the only other female snatch the handle of the forgotten rolling-luggage without missing a beat or slowing down. Among the group of men with her, she was just as taller, if svelte and curvaceous to their broad and heavier frames. Her skin was the same dark ebony of Panther's, with her thick hair in a short buzz. The woman got to Shin first, holding out her hand to shake as a pleasant smile curved her lush-lipped mouth. To the side, Emily was gushing at Sena in rapid-fire English while he struggled to keep up.

"My name in Taniesha Roberts. You can call me Tanny," the woman greeted in hesitant, but perfectly pronounced Japanese. Her startling light brown eyes darted towards Watt.

" **That was perfect** ," the ex-quarterback assured her with a wink.

"It was," Shin agreed, taking her hand in a firm grip. Her smile became relieved and bright rather than perfunctory. "My name is Shin, Seijuuro. Most call me Shin."

When she returned his shake, he was pleased to note hers was steady and strong, even if uncalloused. Knowing his own… inability as well as he did, Shin made sure to note her physical attributes closely (as well as the young men behind her in turn). Emily was a few dozen kilograms overweight and pale like the typical depiction of an American, but Taneisha didn't share her girlfriend's generous figure, instead having a body that looked to be one of a routine gym-attendee, with heavily muscled thighs implicating rigorous previous training of some kind—perhaps track or soccer or a kind of dance?

" **Of course we know who you are**!" Panther exclaimed, his vibrantly bright smile lighting up his face. Shin blinked as Panther enveloped him in an embrace, back-slapping as he pulled away. Somehow, Panther had grown even taller, and his customary braids replaced with a more close-shaven, squared-off look. His memorable headband, though, was again in place; that would help. " **You haven't changed at all, man. You've got the same serious face.** " Panther twisted up his own cheerful features into a scowl to mimic Shin's, but it didn't last very long when he burst into laughter.

"As Panther-kun said, we're not likely to mistake you for anyone else," Watt joked mildly in flawless Japanese. Shin did a quiet double-take and glanced at him curiously. Not just his Japanese skill had changed, but unlike his Japanese, other things hadn't quite improved. His muscles weren't as developed as they'd once been, his hair shaggy and long, and his handshake, though firm, less calloused than a seasoned player should be. Lastly, a thin blond mustache shadowed Watt's upper lip. The bespectacled American chuckled under his breath at Shin's look and scratched his cheek. "I've been taking classes in university. It was very embarrassing to see how much I got wrong as a teenager."

Shin shrugged. "You did well enough for someone self-taught. You improved immensely in that area." His eyes lingered on Watt's smaller muscles, making the blond laugh.

"I quit football when I entered college. I'm at MIT to get into the _real_ NASA, ironically," Watt said with a shrug and grin.

" **I'm real glad you can talk to the locals n' all, buddy** ," Homer said as he swept a large hand through his still lengthy wavy hair. It was actually a little bit longer, and _fortunately_ unlike Watt, he'd retained the same physique he'd had in high school—that is: bulging and well-developed. He hadn't gained much in height, and his facial hair was shaped to encircle his mouth. He would be just as easy to recognize as Panther. " **But now** _ **I**_ **don't know what's goin' on.** "

Watt huffed and shook his head. " **I'll translate if it's important.** "

" **I understand a little** ," Shin grunted uncomfortably. He never liked using a skill he wasn't particularly good at, such as English. He'd spent many years abroad, but his German and Italian were much better than his English. "I speak it less well, but I can comprehend it for the most part," he explained to Watt.

"I thought so. You understood enough a few years ago when we met." The tall blond turned to explain to the confused but patiently waiting Americans as Emily finally released Sena from her chokehold and swaggered up.

" **So, you're the great and incredible Shin-san. Suze wasn't jokin' about the resting bitch face,** " Emily mused, pressing a dimple into her cheek with a fingertip and grinning.

" **Don't be rude, Ems** ," Taneisha admonished with an eyeroll.

Emily flapped a hand and pffted loudly. " **I'm just teasin'. He's isn't some delicate little flower, Tanny. Besides, it's a** _ **great**_ **bitchface, like, numero uno great. I look like an adorkable munchkin at twenty-one. It's all my extra fluff. Makes me look forever young.** " She winked at Shin and Sena playfully. Sena groaned quietly and dropped his head into his hands, but Shin merely scowled at her in puzzlement.

" **I don't understand what bitchface means…** "

" **She's talkin' 'bout your gameface, man! You should try leaving it on the field** ," Panther interrupted with a loud laugh, arm winding around Shin's neck in a loose half-Nelson. Shin narrowed his gaze on Panther's brightly smiling face just a handful of inches above his own.

Shin wasn't inept. He was familiar basic colloquialisms. Of the _Japanese_ vernacular. English was already rusty and difficult. It's strange, profanity-ridden slang was never something he bothered to learn or research. " **My understanding is still unclear. I should leave my face?** "

A mistake, obviously.

Fortunately, Homer came to the rescue. He stepped up, rubbing the back of his head and chortling. " **All this English is prob'bly makin' his head dizzy. Let's get some grub and beer. We're legal in Japan, so let's have fun** ," Homer suggested. His suggestion was met with raucous cheers (though Emily did note with a laugh she was already legal back home) and fistpumps.

" **Sounds great!** "

.

"Are you sure you don't mind, Seijuuro?" Sena asked him again. If Shin were the hyperbolic type, he'd place this time at about the thousandth or so.

He placed the bookmark among the picturesque lines of _Oku no Hosomichi_ , closed it gently, and set it on his nightstand. When he'd learned the group of Americans were coming all the way to Japan on very limited budgets, Shin and his parents had opened their expansive home to the tourists. They were currently scattered around the mansion, either strolling through the galleries and ballrooms—Emily said something about recreating a beautiful beast movie?- or checking out the grounds outside. Panther had been pretty wild over the sight of his father's pet peacocks waddling ostentatiously through the hedges. (His father had a strange sense of humor when it came to spending his vast amount of wealth.) Sena, however, had taken the time to sit alone with Shin in his bedroom, fidgeting uneasily and looking downright guilty.

"Sena, do I enjoy amusement parks?"

"…no…" the smaller man mumbled, tracing circles on the comforter.

"Do you think I understand that you need time with your friends whom you haven't seen in over a year on account of them living across an ocean?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'm not exactly in your _head_ , but I get it that I'm supposed to say yes-"

"I enjoy spending time with you, Sena. But I do not _always_ have to spend time with you. Emily and Tanny bought you that ticket to Dizzyland as a gift. I do not want to intrude on something obviously meant for you three," Shin assured him, hand reaching up to brush over Sena's frowning mouth. Brown eyes darted up as the frown slowly curved into a smile, an expression much more suited to him. "The others already agreed to spend the day visiting the other footballers and OU campus and I'll be acting as their guide. I'll be more than occupied."

"Okay, good. I'll spend you a bunch of pictures, too. Promise. And… uh… It's _Disney_ land," Sena said hesitantly. Shin merely stared back, nonplussed.

"Yes, that's what I said?"

Sena chuckled and leaned forward on his hands. He pressed a fleeting kiss to Shin's cheek, surprising a tiny smile out of Shin. "Thank you for being you."

"You've said that," Shin murmured, sliding his hand around the back of Sena's head to drag him closer.

"I still mean it."

In a moment, they'd have to herd together their guests for the welcome dinner Shin's mother had planned. But that was in a moment. He'd have a whole day without Sena even though they had planned to spend the whole summer together before Sena's American friends had Skyped with new plans.

They could wait an extra minute. Or five.

.

When Panther, Homer, and Watt learned that Shin still went up Mt. Fuji every summer for training, they had eagerly decided to spend an overnight trip up the mountain with him. Emily and Taneisha both agreed to join in as well.

Shin was more than amendable to the idea. He _enjoyed_ the other men's company, and the two woman were… _growing_ on him. Taneisha was smart, polite, and eager to experience as much of Japan as possible during their little more than two week stay. Emily wasn't much different, but Shin had the distinct impression that Emily was constantly appraising his interactions with Sena with a very shrewd eye… causing Shin to feel constantly vigilant in response. He felt like he was in a test without having studied extensively beforehand, but he had no idea how to explain it to Sena.

Especially without sounding condemning of someone clearly very important to Sena. Someone who did something for Sena that _Shin_ attempted every single day— build up his confidence and self-esteem by making Sena's opinions and friendship feel valuable.

Because of this persistent awkwardness around her, Shin discreetly began to make simple, logical excuses to give Sena more time alone with the Americans. The Tokyo Disney trip was easy and _honest_ enough. Shin had _zero_ interest in going to amusement park ever again. The three men, plus Shin, who hadn't gone had instead gone on a more than pleasant trip to OU and then met up for an overly crowded dinner party planned out meticulously by Anezaki to welcome them back. After that, there were a few tourist-centric trips taken, whole days mapped out- literally on maps, with bullet points and timetables because Watt and Taneisha were that kind of organized- that Shin joined only occasionally, for a few hours here, half a day there.

Camping, however. Camping would be nice. He and Sena would be in their element, running side by side. They hadn't been able to in over a week by now and Shin… Shin missed those moments of synchronism. Even Panther wasn't quite the same. Too fast, too smooth, and too _loud_. He liked Panther, enjoyed pushing himself a little harder the few times they ran together—at Panther's earnest insistence, nonetheless—but Panther just wasn't _Sena_.

Perhaps Emily would see how they were together at their best and those strange, assessing gazes would end.

They gathered at the base of the mountain early of the morning planned. Joining them were Sakuraba, Monta, and Takami—which Shin was internally grateful for. He knew these people well, but even better, they knew _Shin_ well. They knew _Shin and Sena_ well. There was also enough of a social buffer that Sena was less likely to feel guilty if they ran ahead. Hopefully.

While packs were divvied up and the exact directions to their destination were discussed one last time, the two newest Americans took a moment to gaze up the side of the mountain through the morning haze. Awe and some incredulity shined from their eyes.

" **It's gorgeous and smells so** _ **fresh**_ **. It's nice to get outside and go hiking every once in a while** ," Taneisha declared, bracing her hands on her hips.

Emily snorted and then burst into laughter. " **S-Sorry, it's just. Me. Climbing a mountain. It's fun in theory, but you know I'm gonna be dragging you down? No way I can keep up with you, bae.** "

" **You know how I feel about** _ **bae**_ ," Taneisha replied dryly. " **But I love you regardless. Of course I'll keep pace with you, baby** ," she promised, swooping through the short distance to kiss Emily's happily flushing cheek. The shorter brunette preened and gave her girlfriend a besotted grin.

Shin stiffened at short, albeit affectionate, exchange, eyes darting towards Sena, knowing that any second- Shin barely restrained a sigh seeing the runningback biting his lip and glancing from Taneisha and Emily to Shin. Just as he'd thought-

" **I… I shou-… I could stay back, too**?" he offered hesitantly, almost _reluctantly_ for someone usually so selfless.

"We can _all_ meet your pace," Shin stated, turning to Sena for translation.

"Seijuuro, no, this is training for you! And I know how much you enjoy running!" Sena protested wildly, hands gesticulating along. The Japanese in the crowd blinked over in their direction, confused by a conversation they hadn't been following.

Shin shooked his head. "No, Sena, I run for fitness and because it's integral to my position on the field. I enjoy improvement and the game. I only find the act of running _enjoyable_ with _you_."

Sena blinked in surprise and his whole face bloomed bright red. Chuckles of the others around them, belatedly so on the account of the Americans waiting for Watt to whisper the translation to them, had Sena's blush travelling all the way down to his collarbones.

" **As friggin'** _ **adorable**_ **as this is, there's no need. I know how much** _ **you**_ **look forward to running with Susan. I'll have more than enough fun takin' my time with Tanny** ," Emily interjected, looking amused and- for the fleeting moment she glanced Shin's way- _approving_.

"Susan?" Shin repeated in confusion. While also trying to ignore the minute relief unclenching in his muscles at the American's look.

"Also, Sena, there are more than enough people who will be taking a little slower and can keep your friends company. Or do you think we're not entertaining enough?" Takami pointed out with a lopsided smirk.

Sena quickly shook his head. "N-No! Of course not, Takami-san! Thank you! Please take care of them." He bowed hurriedly, causing a few more laughs.

"This is just painful _max_ , Sena. Start running before I kick you into it," Monta complained good-naturedly as he stretched.

"Why did she call me Susan?" Shin repeated adamantly.

" **What are we waiting for? Let's go! I'm pumped to be running with the famous Eyeshield** _ **and**_ **Shin!** " Panther exclaimed, arms swinging and grin blinding.

"Yeah, yeah! Let's do that, go on, Seijuuro!" Sena agreed, pushing Shin forward, his hands a pressing heat against Shin's lower back.

"You're avoiding my question."

He began to run anyway, mouth twitching up as Sena fell into step beside him. Panther was just a pace or two ahead, grinning and waving over one shoulder at them. With a brilliant laugh, Sena darted forward, his signature explosive dash vaulting him over the distance. A familiar thrill raced down Shin's spine and the chase began again. Due to the unpredictable terrain and slowly thinning air, Panther actually ended up keeping pace with _them_ , dark skin flushing and eyes brighter than ever. Maybe in this one instance, Sena might be able to win. Or perhaps, _Shin_ might, seeing as he was even more familiar with this training than either of them. Sena never could beat Shin for outright endurance or stamina either, Death March notwithstanding.

They made it to the meet up hours later, panting and sweating, both Sena and Panther grinning and Shin more relaxed than he'd been in days. Both Sena and Shin had somehow come to a mutual unspoken agreement to avoid the viewing-point Shin had found, but the meadow they'd camped in was too nice a place to keep to themselves. Especially with the group they had coming with them.

A sharp, impressed whistle broke their huffing silence when Panther managed to get a good look around.

"Wow, great! Place much awesome look!" Panther rattled on in very, very _bad_ Japanese, mostly a string of adjectives with positive meanings and an utter lack of any syntax.

" **Every year Seijuuro is come here. When the sun is go down, you will be like a lot**!" Sena told Panther eagerly and cheerfully while Shin busied himself with taking off his pack and setting everything out.

"We have some time before the rest arrive. You're not too tired are you?" Shin asked as he cracked his neck and raised his arms over his head to stretch. When he dropped his arms, Sena's eyes darted upwards and the flush from their run looked redder than before.

"W-What? Oh, yeah, no, I'd like to- I'll ask Panther-" Sena stammered, eyes darting around wildly. Shin narrowed his gaze at Sena's back while absently tugging his shirt back into place from where it'd rucked up. What was going through Sena's head? "Let's go! Panther said he found you in the woods all those years ago. He likes the idea of running around like… uh… Tarzan?" Shin shrugged at Sena's bewilderment.

"No idea what that means. But I do know a good path to run."

Sena chuckled. "Let's go then. Lead the way. Today you're the fastest, Seijuuro."

A brief twitch of his mouth betrayed Shin's amusement before he took off without warning. The yelps of the two young men behind him- both so _different_ but so _similar_ at once- had Shin picking up his pace just that much more. It wasn't often he could best these two and maybe he enjoyed it a little too much.

When they finally rolled back into the campsite where they'd left their bags, the rest of the group had already set everything up and were building up a pile of branches and twigs to get a small bonfire going. There were only a handful of tents, most of them having agreed to share sleeping places. The idea of sleeping next to Sena again had Shin's pulse picking up slightly. This _place_ couldn't help but dredge of memories of _then_ , of last year and the first time Sena had been under Shin. While they'd both agreed that sexual intimacy wasn't the first thing on their minds when alone together, and it was on _Shin's_ mind even less, he couldn't help but think of it now.

At the most inopportune, inappropriate time, of course. Even though nothing like that could happen, the idea of falling asleep close to Sena was enough for Shin. It was still a rare occurrence for them and Shin was unashamed to admit he _really_ enjoyed falling asleep holding Sena close, and waking up to Sena's grumpy or sleep-dumb moments.

Which was why, when Sena casually asked Monta if his friend had found his- _Sena's_ \- sleeping bag and if it was in their tent- _his and Monta's_ \- Shin felt gut-punched. He stared over at Sena's obliviously smiling profile with a scowl reminiscent of his most intense exercises. Monta caught sight of him, and his face paled drastically, eyes wide and baffled. With a shake of his head, Shin got to his feet and went to hunt out another water bottle from the small cooler Sakuraba and Takami had carried between them.

It made sense. Objectively. Why cause an uncomfortable situation when it could be avoided? Sena must've thought it would be less embarrassing or maybe he just didn't want Monta, the only other Enma student, to feel left out. Either option was reason enough.

So when did Shin stop feeling _objective_? And just when did he start becoming so greedy for time alone with Sena that giving up or sharing any of that time became… _aggravating_?

.

Shin knocked on Sena's door a few days after the camping trip. He might've felt privately… _displeased_ by that night, but he'd been careful to keep it to himself. Now wasn't the time to introspect such inconvenient, selfish motivations. Not when Sena was trying to entertain his friends and Shin was hoping to continue to building upon his relationships with them as well.

Sena's friends were important to Sena, and therefore important to _Shin_.

Whatever problems Shin was having could wait until a time when Sena's focus no longer needed to be on hosting said friends and assuring their good time.

So Shin might be spending an extra hour or two in the weight room, or pushing himself a little harder on Mt. Fuji when he took his run up there, but it was only improving his overall conditioning, so why not?

The door swung up to reveal… Kaitani. In a beat-up t-shirt a size too big and baggy sweatpants. His hair was a mess and his eyes were blinking sluggishly.

"'Chu doin' here?" Kaitani muttered in bewilderment.

"Looking for Sena… and everyone else?" Shin replied slowly. "It's ten a.m. on a weekday. Why are you asleep?"

"It's called a _nap_ ," Kaitani snapped irritably. "And Sena crashed at Mamori-nee's place last night. So did _everyone_. I managed to get home because no way was I gonna share a futon with some giant ass American, but everyone went out clubbing last night, Shin. Of course no one's up."

Shin stared at Kaitani. Slowly, understanding dawned and the Enma player outright flinched in sympathy.

"You had no idea, did you?"

"Yesterday I went back to Mt. Fuji."

"And you don't have a phone and it was a last minute idea," Kaitani filled in. Shin shrugged a shoulder at that.

He didn't like the look on Kaitani's face. The _pity_ lurking in his blue eyes.

"I'm sure you would've been invited if he could've gotten ahold of you- Fuck, what am I doing?" Kaitani muttered, dragging a hand through ivory hair. "C'min while I call up his stupid ass. I can't believe him."

"No, Kaitani, you're right. I don't have a phone anymore, and even if I did, no one could've contacted me while I was on Fuji. It wasn't Sena's fault."

But…

 _But_.

"He still should've left you a message somehow. Or waited a day or something."

"I don't like clubbing."

"Yeah, but you don't like whatever just happened right now," Kaitani pointed out dryly, hand waving towards Shin's face.

Feeling left out. _Excluded_. Shin didn't like that the feeling wasn't _new_.

"When… when you discussed getting an apartment," Shin started slowly, awkwardly. It felt strange starting this line of questioning with _Kaitani_ , as if he were talking behind Sena's back. He'd already began, and he couldn't help but finish at Kaitani's warily curious gaze. "Did he ever… want to invite me?"

That sounded… pathetic. That's not how he wanted it to _sound_. He huffed and dragged his hand over his face and missed the fleeting pained look on Kaitani's face. When he looked up, Kaitani's expression was inscrutable. At least to a man like Shin, who found facial expressions and subtler emotions hard to read.

"No, Shin. It started as a joke, something not-quite serious, and me and Monta kinda snowballed it. You got brought up when we signed the contract and forced Sena to accept the big room _because_ of you and him." Kaitani crossed his arms and leaned against the doorjamb, obviously fighting a yawn as his jaw stretched oddly and his eyes slipped half-shut. He blinked himself back to wakefulness, looking contrite.

"You should return to bed. I'm sorry to have woken you, Kaitani."

"Riku."

Shin stared.

"You're dating my best friend," something strange happened to Kaitani's voice over the last two words, "the least you can do is call me Riku to my face."

"You call me Shin."

"Alright then. Seijuuro it is," Riku said with a shrug. Shin frowned and Riku laughed. "The difference is _no one_ calls you Seijuuro except for Sena. Even Haruto normally calls you Shin."

"It's true." He nodded once and then stepped back. "Don't… don't mention this to Sena. Not until…"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. It's between you guys. Don't let it lie, though, Shin. _Seijuuro_. If it honestly hurts as much as it looked like it did, it's important."

Shin blinked once, slow and startled at the stern and wise advice by the fellow linebacker (and safety).

"Thank you."

Riku shrugged again and didn't bother hiding his jaw-cracking yawn. "Sometimes Sena needs a little help to see what's right in front of him." The fond smile on Riku's face had the gears whirring in Shin's mind, before the ivory-haired man saluted sassily and closed the door.

As Shin walked towards the elevator, he had a vague idea that there were more than just a _few things_ Sena was oblivious to.

.

Ever since the morning after the club incident, Shin tried a little harder to _be there_. He hadn't found time to talk to Sena about it, though. He listened to the chatter around him, the joking about things he'd missed, the embarrassing anecdotes and teasings, and kept calm and quiet. Now wasn't the right time. He would make more of an effort because it wasn't only _Sena's_ fault Shin hadn't been available, and being _mildly_ (only _mildly_ ) upset about it wasn't constructive. While also being a sign he wasn't fine with it. At all.

Clubbing wasn't his 'thing'. Amusement parks weren't his forte.

But Sena _was_.

It helped that during the moments when the group around him tangented off into reminiscings of things he wasn't around for, Riku's eyes would find his in the crowd with a wry, helpless little smirk on his face. A gesture of solidarity that went a long way to soothing his lingering… turmoil.

And _it_ happened.

He never could have expected it. Never could have prepared for it.

The way Taniesha, Emily, and Sena tumbled into the door of the Enma shorties' apartment, laughing and wincing and holding various parts of their bodies stiffly. Even Riku and Monta looked bewildered when Sena yelped a second after knocking his right shoulder into the doorjamb.

" **Be careful, Skywalker! You'll make it bleed again**!" Emily warned anxiously, hands fluttering over his chest area. He laughed it off, rubbing the back of his head.

" **It's fine, fine, Ems! Just the bump,** " Sena assured her.

" **Are you sure? We brought everything we need to take care of it if we need to** ," Taneisha offered, eyes on his chest as well.

" **What the** _ **fuck**_ **are you talking about**?" Riku growled in flawless English as he stalked off the couch. Shin was a step ahead, face thunderous.

"What's happening!? Hey, come on, I don't know any English, guys!" Monta exclaimed from the couch where he was half-lounging.

"Sena was _bleeding_ ," Shin snapped, sounding angrier than usual in his concern.

"WHAT?! What happened?!" Monta shrieked.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, guys! It's nothing! I mean it's something, but nothing what you're thinking!" Sena exclaimed hurriedly, waving his hands in front of him wildly, only to wince again.

" **Stop that,** " Emily sighed in exasperation, gently pulling his arms down to his side. " **And** _ **you two**_ **, you stop that, too! You're just working him up**!" Emily scolded Riku and Shin.

" **It's just a tatt, boys**." Taneisha said calmly. Sena grimaced slightly.

" **I not want to say it like that** ," he muttered.

"A. What." Shin stated flatly, voice toneless. Riku on the other hand looked _livid_. Sena blanched.

"What's happening?!"

" _This moron_ got a _tattoo_ ," Riku hissed.

Monta almost fell off the couch and scrambled to his feet. "He got a WHAT?"

"Hey! We all did, me, Ems, _and_ Tanny!" Sena protested.

" **Hey, hey,** _ **back the fuck up**_ **. Sena is a gorramn adult. Are you** _ **scolding him**_?" Emily demanded furiously. Taneisha put her hand on Emily's shoulder to calm her down, but leveled her own glare at them.

"I wanna see!" Monta gasped, pushing past Riku and Shin. Sena glanced at the two fuming men behind Monta, but carefully yanked the neckline of his t-shirt down just far enough to expose the tattoo. It wasn't anything huge or elaborate. It was the number 21 in Deimon colors, which, really, made sense.

"Oh, MAX _cool_ , dude!" Monta gasped. He frowned and punched Sena's shoulder. "Why the _hell_ didn't you tell us? I woulda gone, too!" Monta exclaimed with a grin.

Sena's mouth twitched up. "It was a-"

"Last minute idea."

Sena froze and glanced up to Shin's blank face. He had no idea what his own expression was doing, but whatever it was, Sena looked somehow surprised and pained.

"Seijuuro?" his voice lilted upwards in question and concern.

" **If you have a problem with Sena having bodily autonomy, you can fuck right off** ," Emily grumbled, arms crossing over her ample chest. She winced when the action pulled on her right arm.

" **Sena, what is going on**?" Taneisha asked, barely containing her own confused anger at the reactions.

" **It's not about that! This is a huge fucking decision and Sena just completely ignored the idea that** _ **maybe**_ **his best friends and** _ **his fucking boyfriend**_ **would've wanted to be a part of this!** How can you be so fucking blind, Sena?!" Riku yelled, hands in fists at his side.

"Riku, don't-"

Riku glanced towards Shin and huffed angrily. His arms crossed over his chest as he glared at the opposite wall. "Sorry, Seijuuro."

"When did you start calling him Seijuuro?" Monta asked in surprise.

"Seijuuro, what's he talking about?" Sena asked, glancing between in, clearly baffled and concern mounting.

" **Okay, we're missing something huge…** " Emily muttered, righteous anger gradually deflating. Taneisha frowned pensively and nodded.

"This isn't the time," Shin frowned in Riku's direction as the safety 'tch'ed loudly. " _It isn't the time_. Your friends aren't here much longer, Sena. It… It can wait." He scowled as his eyes darted down to where he knew the tattoo lay.

"…" Sena actually swiveled his head side to side to stare at Riku and Shin. "No, Seijuuro. I don't think it can. **Ems, Tanny, I talk to Seijuuro, okay**?"

" **Uh, yeah, Sen. We'll umm… go find the boys**?" Emily suggested, looking up at Taneisha.

" **They're at the Kongou's. We can find it**."

Riku stepped forward quickly. " **No, I'm coming, too. I need to blow off steam anyway.** C'mon, Monta."

"Wha? Me, too?!"

"This is unnecessary."

"No, it's really not," Sena and Riku said at the same time as they looked at Shin. He almost reared back at their identically stern expressions.

"This doesn't make us square, Sena. I'm gonna give you _so much shit_ when I get back. Got it?" Riku threatened, rounding on Sena a second later. Sena blanched and stepped back.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, Rikku-kun."

"Whatever. Monta, get your monkey butt in some shoes. Let's go."

"I'm _not a monkey_."

" **Ah, I understood that. He** _ **does**_ **look like a monkey** ," Taneisha's eyes riveted to the half-eaten banana in Monta's hand. Her lips rolled together to hold back a smile.

They trooped out the door a moment later, Monta still protesting. Sena glanced to Shin expectantly, and Shin sighed. How could he explain something to Sena that he could barely explain to himself? He appreciated Riku's show of support, but he didn't exactly like being shoehorned into a conversation he wasn't ready for. With a drag of his hand over his face, he turned and made his way towards Sena's room. Sena made a small noise of surprise and stumbled out of his shoes to follow.

He'd never even made it past the foyer, Shin realized with an exasperated eyeroll to the ceiling.

The door to the bedroom snapped closed, but the silence remained. Shin stood across the room, back to the door and hands hanging at his sides. Breath huffed quietly past his lips and he shifted his weight. The confused jumble of emotions were beating at his skull, tugging to be forced into words, but they were too important to say quickly. He had to take his time, formulate the right sequence so his meaning could not be misconstrued. He wasn't angry. He was disappointed. But not… for the obvious and permanent reason.

"Seijuuro? I know that it was really sudden and probably really stupid, but I don't regret it, you know? I really like it and I think it was a good idea. I mean, the whole needles and pain part, that wasn't _good-_ "

Shin turned, eyebrows coming together low over the bridge of his nose. Sena was leaning against the door, his weight mostly to one side, eyes on the floor, and his fingers fidgeting together.

"Sena, I don't care about the tattoo," Shin said quietly, firmly.

Sena's chin jerked up to meet Shin's serious gaze. "You seem like it…?"

"You're an adult. Those are _your_ decisions to make and I don't want to make them for you. I'd never ask for that," Shin attempted hesitantly, his scowl darkening and his muscles tense and tight enough to hurt. He could feel his shoulders hitching up and his hands flexing minutely at his sides. "What Riku said… it was English, maybe you missed it…"

Sena blinked and cocked his head to dredge it back up. "The big decision. Made without you guys-"

"Made without me," Shin corrected quietly, jaw firmed and lips thinning as he glared to the side.

"It was just a spur of the moment thing! Tanny and Ems both have tattoos already and wanted to get one to commemorate their trip here and I was there and I just got sorta- it just sorta _happened_."

"Like moving into this apartment?"

Sena reared back, eyes wide and startled.

"Like sleeping in a different tent last week?"

"Wh-what? That was- I thought-"

"Or going out with everyone without me the other night?"

It was rolling out of Shin now, his shoulders hitched high and his hands in fists under his biceps, arms crossed so tightly it actively made his muscles _ache_.

"Seijuuro, I didn't- you…" Nonsense tumbled out of Sena's mouth in his cluelessness. As if he couldn't put his suspicions in words. Shin scowled darkly. "You… you wanted me to _ask permission_?"

" _What?_ No!" Shin bit out, frustration making his words harsher than intended. Sena gaped. Shin closed his eyes and inhaled sharply through his nose. "I don't want to give _permission_ , Sena. I just want to be a _variable_ in your decision-making process. I don't like feeling _unimportant_ to your life outside of our relationship."

"Wh-what?! Seijuuro, _no_ , that's not what-"

" _Don't tell me how to feel, Sena_."

Sena rocked back on his heels, face white. Shin breathed heavily through his nose and dropped his gaze to the floor. Slowly, Sena made his way across the room and set both his hands on Shin's arms. Tension leaked from Shin's body at the warm touch. "When you make important choices, Sena, I want… I want to be there. I want to feel as important to you as you are to me."

The words were soft and… more vulnerable than Shin had ever sounded. Even saying 'I love you' wasn't this hard. He thought the most difficult hurdle, his uncommon face-blind condition, was behind them. But instead, _this_. This feeling that his impact on Sena's life was transient, intangible, was proving just as hard to overcome.

He hated the idea that ink staining Sena's skin could last longer than Shin's significance to someone he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

"Seijuuro, that's not what all that was," Sena interrupted Shin's musing, voice soft and sad. "I'm so sorry I made you feel excluded. I was just trying… I was just trying not to _bother_ you," Sena said sincerely.

Shin's head jerked up, nostrils flaring and expression obviously incredulous. "Bother?" he repeated. Sena nodded and smiled a little self-consciously.

"I thought about you every time, I _promise_ I did. But I always brushed it aside. You're so _practical_ , Seijuuro. And I thought, if I tried to contact you… for things you logically couldn't be a part of, because your school is too far away, or because you don't even like those kinds of clubs, or because you had better things to worry about then every stupid thing that crosses my mind, like how _difficult_ it would be to sleep next to you and remember the last time we shared a sleeping bag…" he trailed off with a self-deprecating twist of his mouth even as he blushed. "I thought you'd just consider those things unnecessary. I didn't want to waste your time, Seijuuro," Sena explained, fingers twisting into the fabric of Shin's long-sleeves.

Shin dropped his arms, dislodging Sena's hold. Before Sena could dart away, Shin cupped Sena's face in both his hands and forced their eyes to meet.

"Nothing you tell me, nothing you do, is a waste of time to me," Shin stated firmly.

Sena's pupils dilated as he shook slightly beneath Shin's hands. "Yeah?"

"Yes." Their foreheads thumped together lightly and Sena's eyes fluttered shut, breath fanning over Shin's mouth. He closed the distance to brush his lips over Sena's cheek, down his jaw. Sena automatically tilted his head back and a surge of something like triumph burned low in Shin's belly. "I want to know the stupid things that cross your mind. I doubt they're as stupid as you think they are."

Sena laughed, his pulse jumping beneath Shin's lips. "I can do that. I mean, it'll be hard c-c-cuz- p-phone-" he broke off into stammers, pulse hammering as Shin placed a damp, open-mouthed kiss on the sensitive skin of his throat. His hands reached under Sena's shirt, slowly, carefully, dragging calloused fingers up the line Sena's abs. "S-Seijuu?"

His teeth pressed down harder as he sucked hard on the flesh against his tongue. A full body shiver preceded Sena melting into Shin's hands. Hands that were smoothing up higher and higher, fingers spread and palms flat to skin. The crinkle of something like cellophane had Shin stilling.

"T-That's t-the t-tattoo. I g-gotta- It's f-fine, though. You don't have to stop," Sena said, voice husky and tongue swiping over his bitten-red bottom lip. His hands were clutching tight at the loose fabric of Shin's shirt and shaking slightly.

"I won't," Shin replied, eyes on the reddening patch of skin on Sena's neck.

An idea, fleeting at first but hooking into his brain and growing louder, had Shin pulling Sena's shirt up. Being wary of the pain it might cause, Shin helped the smaller man pull the shirt off without him having to raise the arm closest to the tattoo too high. It was on the right side, but close to his sternum. The skin around the stark black and crimson red ink was aggravated and red. He had to push away the desire to press his lips there, to kiss away the pain it must be causing. Instead, he slowly walked Sena towards the bed even as his hands trailed down to Sena's pants.

"Uh… wh-what- I'm n-not c-complaining, but what are we d-doing?" Sena asked, face flushed and pupils blown.

"Leaving a mark," Shin replied absently as he yanked at Sena's jeans roughly to get the zipper undone. He had no idea why _his_ hands were shaking.

"A-A what?"

"Hopefully more than one."

"Ah?" Sena broke off, confusion melting into something needy when Shin shoved his hands past the elastic waistband of Sena's boxers to grip his bare hips.

Sena's hands scrabbled uselessly at Shin's shirt, clutching desperately when the taller man pressed his mouth over Sena's heart, just past the plastic wrap and gauze-tape. The backs of runningback's knees hit the side of the bed and they went down, the descent quickly controlled by Shin and his firm grasp on Sena's smaller frame. His knee braced on the mattress, one foot still on the floor, and Sena caged between Shin's arms and thighs. His lithe body arched sinuously, Shin's mouth running dry at that sight even as he pushed Sena's jeans and underwear off in one smooth movement. He was back to hovering over Sena within a breath's time, mouth damp and hot on a peaked nipple before his teeth scraped over it. The small noise caught in the back of Sena's throat had Shin tugging a little harder, tongue laving between the gentle nip of teeth and less than gentle suction until Sena was almost writhing on the sheets, the tips of his toes bracing on the floor to arch closer.

The slurring stutter of his name had Shin's blood pounding just under his skin. But he was too preoccupied to really listen to whatever Sena was begging. It didn't sound like protests, so Shin pressed one more damp kiss to Sena's sternum and moved lower down. Another dark hickey bloomed just under his ribcage, and another on the smooth skin of his belly before he dipped the tip of his tongue in the dimple of Sena's belly button. The quiver had Shin biting just hard enough for the man beneath him to squawk and gasp. When Shin leaned back enough to survey the trail of marks down Sena's abdomen, satisfaction had his mouth curling up.

Maybe they weren't as permanent as the fancy inkjob, but it was just as much evidence, tangible and real, of _Shin_ on Sena's body.

"Wh-Wh-Why are you still w-wearing clothes?" Sena demanded breathlessly.

Shin looked up to see the flushed, debauched face above him, the cherry red lips parted around pants and pupils blown so wide only the barest sliver of beautiful brown could be seen around the edges. Again, Shin cursed his condition knowing the moment he looked away, he'd forget the heart-stopping, pulse-jolting sight.

"Don't worry about me," Shin replied gruffly, pushing Sena further up the bed so he could get on his knees.

Sena's breath caught and he jerked himself upright, balanced on his elbows. He winced as the action pulled at his chest, but he ignored it so he could stare, with wide hungry eyes at Shin between his thighs.

"S-Seijuuro?" he exhaled, voice wobbling.

Shin nosed at his hipbone. The smooth, unblemished expanse of skin beckoned and Shin obeyed the call. The moment he dragged the spare flesh between his teeth, Sena _keened_ , hips arching up. Shin smoothed his hands up Sena's thighs, curls of hair tickling his palms, to spread him wider. The harsh, too shallow breaths whistled past Sena's teeth, but Shin merely slid his mouth lower, pressing a damp, wide-mouthed kiss to the patch of smooth skin on Sena's inner thigh. The sound that escaped Sena was a sob of Shin's name immediately followed by pleading. Shin didn't so much as touch Sena where he was so obviously desperate for him to. Instead, he went straight to the other thigh, two mirroring marks right where the inseam of Sena's pants would rest. Every time he sat, or stood, or walked, or ran, any movement would drag along _there_ , where Shin's mouth had left its claim. Where no one else would see or touch.

His grip tightened on Sena's legs, thumbs digging almost too hard into the trembling muscle.

"I… I like this," Shin muttered, thumb brushing over the almost purple hickey on Sena's hipbone. They were still in their awkwardly sitting/crouching position, their lower bodies hanging off the bed to brace their feet against the floor and breathing heavily as their skyrocketing heartbeats slowed.

A slight pause. " _Really_?"

"Doing the same to your back… I meant it. Soon."

"…. I think… I think I'm really on board with that."

"Think?"

"Know. I know."

Relief had Shin's shoulders slumping. "Good." Then, he managed to heave himself to his feet and tip Sena onto his back in the same motion. Sena yelped and let out a breathless laugh as Shin manhandled him up onto the pillows and crawled in after him.

"You get kinda _one-syllable-y_ when you… you _know_."

"Yes."

Sena laughed again, and wrapped his arms around Shin's wide shoulders, ignoring the burn on his chest and the weird feeling of plastic pulling at tape. It felt weird and kinda… _erotic_ to be completely clothed and feel Sena's bare skin under his hands. Shin literally _snuggled_ closer, face tucked into the crook of Sena's neck and arms tight around Sena's bare waist. "So what happens if I get another tattoo? "

Shin grumbled in annoyance as Sena shook with his almost silent laughter. A long moment passed of just breathing in the scent of them, sweat and sex and the lingering shampoo on Sena's pillow while his fingers absently stroked from mark to mark, satisfaction curled in his stomach. Even though he was becoming quickly more uncomfortable in his clothes- specifically his pants- as time went on.

"Sena."

"Yeah?" Sena mumbled, smoothing his fingers through Shin's hair and pressing his cheek to the side of Shin's head.

"Should I call you… baby? Or… bae?"

Sena blinked wildly, Shin could feel the flutter of lashes on his temple, and then he _guffawed_ , his whole body shaking until tears came to his eyes.

"Taneisha and Emily do it," Shin grumbled. He turned his head towards the pillow even as his ears heated.

"We _are not_ Tanny and Ems. And that'd be the weirdest thing _ever_. I like how you say my name anyway."

"… Same."

.

When the Americans finally left, Shin was regretful. A little. He liked them well enough, and Emily had finally stopped giving him _judgmental_ looks. But the teasing at his expense- including the name _Susan_ (why?!) and dropping vampire jokes whenever the dark mark on Sena's neck peeked out from under his shirt collars- might not be much better...

However, he also had more than a month of sharing Sena only with his _Japanese_ friends, which were high enough in number already. Going into his junior year was going to be even more difficult and he was hoping to get the most out of the remaining summer vacation. Before leaving, Emily had done him one more favor as an apology for being an overprotective dick (her words, not his).

He had a whole list of websites to research. She'd gone out of her way to highlight something called _marking_ and he had a pretty good idea where _that_ was leading.

...

A/N: YES there was a cut off and all the explicit sex was deleted. It can be found in full in the "Desires" part of the series on archiveofourown, chapter 2, under the same chapter name "Marks". I will not post the blatant sex scenes. You're lucky you got what you did, and you only did because the MARKING part was important. *smooches* sorry m'dears. Not on ffn.

Also, there's a short ficlet of what's going on with Riku on tumblr. I'll probably post it up soon, so look out for it if you want your heart broken, lol.

PS: Tanny is tawhn-nee, not tan-ee


	18. Cats

**Have any pets? (If not: would they get any?) Do they ever trade clothes?**

* * *

It was thunder-storming outside; buckets of rain upended over Tokyo and broke through the humid heat of June. Lightning flashed so bright it lit up the entirety of the apartment through the tiny kitchen window, and streamed in from the open bedroom doors. While it was nice to know their apartment didn't leak anywhere, Sena could do without the trial by fire- well, in this case, trial by _rain_. The runningback flinched as thunder clapped and boomed so loud he swore he could feel the whole _building_ shake.

"C'mon, Sena, it's not like you're scared of _thunder_ ," Monta pointed out where he was lounging across the couch squinting over his phone screen. He cursed under his breath when he failed whatever game level he was on.

Sena laughed edgily and shook his head. "No, it's not that. It's just… _so loud_ and _sudden._ It's just kinda nerve-wracking, that's all," he explained while lighting a candle and setting it on the coffee table.

He blew out the match and set it on the empty ashtray that the apartment had given for free with the furniture and hadn't been used until now. The candles were from Mamori, though, for this exact sort of situation. He couldn't help but send fervent thanks in her general direction as the slow glow permeated the living room. Their power wasn't out _yet_ , but Sena and Riku both were of the better safe than sorry sort. Unplugging the electronics around the house seemed like the smart thing to do. Riku walked in with his laptop under his arm just as Sena set the candle down.

"Everything unplugged out here?" he asked as he plopped onto the couch. Monta just barely moved his legs in time, not even looking up from his phone. Riku opened his laptop and typed in his password rapidly.

"Yup, I got 'em all," Monta agreed absently.

Sena climbed on the couch next to Riku, grimacing at the loud cracking sound of thunder over their heads. "And I got the candles lit," he announced unnecessarily as he snatched a pillow and curled into the couch. The thick padding under his ear softened the sound of thunder and he glued his eyes to Riku's laptop glowing screen gratefully.

Riku sighed roughly, but clicked open a video file, looking only at the screen. "Sweet. I've got 3 hours of battery power and bootlegged horror films downloaded. You ready?" he taunted with a raised eyebrow first at Sena and quickly towards Monta. Monta grinned and blacked his phone screen.

"Aw right! _Max ready_ ," Monta cheered.

"H-Horror?!" Sena exhaled in disbelief.

With a snicker at Sena's wide-eyed stare, Riku clicked open the first one. Desperately wishing Suzuna was here to point out all the bad, cheesy, crappy parts and make Sena laugh, the runningback gulped and sunk into the couch even further. He told himself a _thousand_ times to get up and leave, the _smart choice_ (he heard that mocking in his head in Kotaro's voice actually…). He was already on the edge from the thunder grating on his nerves and he didn't _like_ horror movies. The creepier, get in your head ones even worse than the gory ones, which of course, were the kinds Monta and Riku liked most. But… the eerily normal opening with its crescending music score, along with the thunder and the candles and lightning- it all built up an atmosphere that unwillingly sucked Sena into watching, breath abated and fingers curled into the pillow. When, about an hour into the movie, the bell rang, _all three_ of them jumped sky high. Sena and Monta even let out short, terrified shouts.

The three of them stared at the door with bulging eyes, then glanced towards the kitchen window. It was still _pouring_ outside, and no one had called ahead to warn them they were coming. Slowly, they glanced at each other, mouths hanging open in bewilderment. A moment later, a loud, staccato knock pounded on the door and Sena and Monta squeaked. It seemed to snap Riku out of it, though, making him snort and snap his laptop closed.

"It's the damn _door_ , guys," he admonished them with an almost painful-looking eyeroll.

"Yeah, I-I know _that_. I was just reacting to _Sena_ ," Monta sputtered.

"Hey!" Sena protested. The wide-receiver grinned sheepishly at him, ducking his head.

Another knock, louder and persistent, sounded again and Riku got to his feet. "Okay, then, you _brave soldiers_ can go answer it. I'll go boil some water for coffee. Whoever it is is going to want some after being outside in _that_ ," Riku told them, shaking his head and laughing. Monta and Sena glanced at each other with none-too-little chagrin.

"I'll get it," Monta offered, rubbing the side of his nose with his thumb and blushing a little in his embarrassment.

"No, it's okay," Sena disagreed, getting to his feet. "I'm faster than you, just in case it _is_ a bloodthirsty ghost." Monta cracked a laugh in relief.

Sena made his way over to the door- maybe mentally reminding himself that it really _wasn't going to be a ghost_ on the other side and not _at all_ apprehensive. The door opened easily enough (duh) and there was no ghost (of course!), but instead there was a… _Shin?_ Sena blinked dumbly up at Shin, whose hand was raised to knock again, the white plastic bag swinging from his fist. His other arm was wrapped awkwardly around his… bulge-y looking stomach. He was soaking wet and scowling from under limp, dripping bangs.

"S-Seijuuro!?" Sena squawked in surprise. Monta clambered over the couch and craned over the arm to see Shin standing in the doorway. "Why are you- please, come in!" he ushered Shin in, hopping back when Seijuuro shook his head briskly free of some of the excess water.

"Sorry for the trouble," he said politely as he struggled to take off soaking runner-shoes with only his feet.

"Yo, man, what are ya doing out in _this_?" Monta called over in surprise while Sena took the plastic bag and steadied Shin when his balance almost toppled. For some reason, his arm around his stomach never moved.

"Are you _hurt_?" Sena asked, aghast.

"I was running near my college, but I found-" just then his hoodie bulged and stretched over his arm.

"IT'S AN ALIEN!" Monta shrieked.

"What? No," Shin retorted, scowling harder. Several high-pitched squeaks and yowls came from inside his hoodie and Sena almost dropped the bag.

" _Cats_?!" Sena blurted in shock. He quickly snatched the collar of the hoodie and dragged Shin down, forcing him to bend at the waist, so Sena could peer down into the damp interior of his white hoodie. "No, those are _kittens_! Oh, look at 'em! They're cute!"

"What's going on out here? I heard Shin and… cats?" Riku asked, walking out with a can of instant coffee in his hands. He frowned as Sena babytalked at whatever was squirming inside Shin's shirt. "What the fuck?"

"Oh, they're so _small_ and they're soaking wet! Lemme go get a blanket!" Sena zipped away, bag still in hand and face flushed excitedly.

"He really likes cats," Shin said, blinking in surprise.

Riku groaned while Monta laughed. "I'll get you a towel."

When Monta went to get a towel, Sena flashed past and held up the blanket in his arms like a basket or apron. Shin struggled a bit, then finally just opened the bottom of his hoodie and gently set the kittens on the blanket, grimacing when their tiny, sharp claws scratched at his hands. They squealed and yowled, wet fur standing up like quills and tiny teeth bared in hisses.

"They're _adorable!_ " Sena gushed, eyes shining. "Mama's gonna want so many pictures! I gotta get my phone!" He rushed away, holding the tiny litter to his chest carefully.

"He does realize that's _three_ kittens he's just run off with," Riku stated, dragging a hand through his hair and trying not to grin.

Shin shrugged and yanked both his hoodie and shirt over his head. Riku glared over at him, eyes squinty. "I ran here from Oujou because I knew he'd help them," the linebacker admitted unashamedly. Riku gaped at him.

"You're _sneaky_! You realize _I_ have to live with Sena and his _kittens_ , right!?" Riku exclaimed incredulously. Shin's mouth twitched.

"You'll survive."

Riku sputtered. Sena darted back in then, phone held in his mouth and Monta right behind him holding an armload of towels.

"I figured we needed enough for Shin _and_ the kittens," Monta explained, cheeks a little red when Riku raised his eyebrows at him.

Shin took a towel gratefully and began to rub down his hair. For the first time, Sena noticed his shirtlessness after Monta relieved him of his phone and jerked back onto his heels. Unconsciously squishing the squirming blanket bundle close to his chest, Sena fish-mouthed for a stupidly long second. With a hard shake of his head, he pulled himself back to together.

"I have… maybe… something you can wear?" Sena offered quizzically past a dry mouth.

"I'm sure I left something here the last time. I'll look," Shin said simply, making Sena squeak and redden even while Monta sneered suggestively at him. "Do you mind if I hang these to dry?" he continued nonchalantly, plucking at his soaking pants.

Shin grunted when Riku stepped up and slapped a hand to bareback. "No problem, man. I'll help you figure it all out," the safety volunteered with an amused huff.

"I'd appreciate it."

Riku led Shin towards the rooms (though Shin surely knew the way himself), waving away Shin's apologies. The remaining two carefully set the kittens on the floor in the living room. Gently, and with too many painful winces, Monta and Sena rubbed the kittens dry. By the time they were done, each one was a fuzzy ball of outrage and both friends had tiny, stinging cuts all over their hands. Sena reached for the orange tabby just as Monta scooped up the howling tuxedo-patterned one, which looked a lot like Pitt. The last kitten was the particularly loud and violent one, with a molted orange and black coat and a staggering, unbalanced prowl over the wrinkles and hills of the blanket on its stubby bowlegs. Sena glanced down at the tabby kneading his wrist, mentally figuring how to hold them both without getting a vein _opened_ by the little tortoiseshell. Monta was too busy making kissy faces at the tux-kitty to notice the dilemma. Suddenly, two large, familiar hands gathered the yowling kitten up. Neck creaking, Sena looked up up _up_ to Shin's face and grinned widely. There was a gentle pat of his hand to the floor next to him and Shin folded himself into place with the kitten cradled to his chest even as it wailed and sunk its claws through cotton. He ignored the swipes at his arms so he could check the kitten over methodically.

 _Sena_ took the opportunity to check _Shin_ over, maybe not quite so methodically. Not that he could really help himself when Shin looked so… so _so_. Were there proper adjectives to describe Shin wearing _Sena's_ biggest tee, a white shirt with I 3 Chicago and a black silhouette of the city skyline with long black sleeves? Sleeves that were straining over biceps more than twice the size of Sena's, and were about two inches too short (where on Sena they fell over his hands) and bared Shin's wrists and forearms. The loose, shiny blue jersey shorts that Sena had to keep tied to stay up were only loose closest to Shin's knees, the rest clung tight like a second, shimmery blue skin, emphasizing the powerful thickness of Shin's thighs.

 _Is it hot in here? Where'd the air go?_ Sena thought to himself dazedly. A muscley buff Shin, in clothes too tight and _Sena's_ , was sitting cross-legged in his living room and _cuddling_ with a tiny violent kitten _. I want to cry. This is either heaven or hell._

Fortunately, his own handful of cat distracted him with a well-placed chomp to his thumb. He barely stifled a shriek and hurried to return his attention to his needy new friend.

"Male, I believe," Shin announced abruptly, before tucking the kitten close to his chest once more and stroking his big, gentle hand over the angrily protesting tortie's back.

Jealousy over a cat was a new feeling… but it was quickly eclipsed by fond amusement when the tortie settled under Shin's hands and began to purr _loudly_.

" _Dude_ , are you, like, magic?! That demon almost chewed my whole _arm_ off _through_ the towels!" Monta exclaimed in both awe and annoyance. Shin scoffed under his breath.

"No, Seijuuro's just got a way with cats. You should see him with Pitt," Sena replied while grinning over at Shin. "So where'd Rikku end up?"

"He was hanging my clothes over the radiator in your room. He told me to… get lost. For some reason, he doesn't trust me not to set a fire drying my own clothes," Shin muttered with a bemused frown. Monta and Sena snickered.

"I thought _Sena_ would be the house mom, but it's _max_ Riku. He's super micromanaging when it comes to house stuff," Monta faux-whispered to Shin with a teeth-baring smirk. "It was totally surprising how _mom_ he gets."

"Really?" Sena said absently as he wiggling his fingers over the tabby's head and smiling dopily. "I wasn't surprised. He's always been the one to take care of me." He couldn't help but outright _giggle_ , like a _preschooler_ , when the kitten wrapped its tiny, fuzzy body around Sena's wrist and began to gnaw on his fingers through purrs so big its whole body was vibrating with them.

He definitely missed the pensive, dark-eyed glance in his direction from Shin.

"Aw man, this little guy is _max cute!_ But why are their tongues so _painful_ ," Monta somehow managed to whine while babytalking at the same time.

"The papillae on their tongues make it easier to comb through their fur for grooming and cooling purposes. They also use them to help scrape meat from bones. I doubt something with that biological function was meant to be _comfortable_ on human skin," Shin recited as if on autopilot, his eyes on the tortie that balanced precariously standing on its back legs in his palms while it rubbed itself all over Shin's chest, kneading plaintively.

Behind the group, Riku walked into the living room and stopped dead. He took one look at the tableau before him - Sena and Shin sitting so close their knees were almost overlapping and gushing (so Shin's version of gushing was pretty poker-faced and scowly, it was still _gushing_ ) over kittens in flickering candlelight– and immediately backpedaled back out again, shaking his head. Muttering _This is my life, I_ chose _this_ to himself. He stooped to grab the plastic bag lying forgotten on the ground and disappeared into the kitchen. All of this gone completely unnoticed by the besotted idiots sitting on the floor playing with kittens.

"We should name them!" Sena declared obliviously to the equally oblivious duo.

"Oh! Oh _yeah!_ I got it! I'mma name _this_ one Bond. _James Bond_ ," Monta told them, striking a 'blue steel' expression and butchering an English accent. James Bond yawned in his face.

Laughing, Sena held the orange tabby up to his cheek. It began to groom the soft hairs on his temple and he snuggled his cheek to its soft, heaving side.

" _Kakiko_."

"You're kinda disgustingly cute sometimes, Sena," Monta pointed out, rubbing his nose and smirking over at his friend. Sena blushed beet-red.

"Persimmons are orange, _she's_ orange. It makes sense," Sena grumbled embarrassedly.

"Oh, Sadaharu."

Both Monta and Sena whipped their heads around and stared at Shin. Who was gazing seriously, unblinkingly, into the tortie's wide yellow eyes.

"Oh, Sadaharu? _The baseball legend_?" Monta wheezed. Shin nodded once.

"Seijuuro watches _all_ sports," Sena whisper-splained to Monta. The wide receiver just looked at Sena, bewildered and betrayed.

"But naming the _demon spawn_ after _Oh-sensei_?"

Sena shrugged with a sympathetic little grimace. Monta's head fell back as he groaned.

"I think you _dumbasses_ are forgetting something," Riku interjected as he walked into the living room with two bowls held carefully in his hands. He jerked his chin at Shin. "He stopped to get supplies for them." Shin's eyes widened in surprise. He'd obviously completely forgotten. "I just found 'em. They need _to eat_ and drink some water and then we need to fix up a litter box." He set the bowls in the middle of the blankets. "I also called the nearest vet, which was luckily still open. The kittens have an appointment tomorrow at noon. _And_ their bed is already set up in Sena's room. No, Monta, _James Bond_ can't sleep in the bed with you," he cut him off before Monta could even get the words out of his wrenched-open mouth. "You kick and _catch_ things in your sleep. You'll kill the poor thing," Riku pointed out dryly.

Monta's jaw clicked shut and he pouted tragically.

"Oh wow, Rikku-kun! That was- you're amazing! Thanks!" Sena breathed gratefully.

Rikue crossed his arms over his chest and stared down the hall. His pink cheeks were _mostly_ masked by shadows.

"Yeah, yeah."

"You don't need to do this. I'm sure I could find a shelter or new homes for them, Shin said, looking gutted at the words as he glared down at the kittens already half-immersed in wet cat food and guzzling it down. "Your building may not allow-"

"They do," Sena and Riku interrupted firmly. Riku raised an eyebrow at Sena. "I made sure before we moved in. Just in case," the runningback confessed with a blush and a fidget.

"And I just double-checked my copy of the contract," Riku added in Shin's direction.

Shin glanced between the three roommates, then down at the kittens on the floor. His gaze was almost _hopeful_ when he glanced back up.

"You're going to keep them? All of them?"

"Yeah, it'll be fun!" Monta agreed eagerly.

"I am _not the fucking Mom_ , so I won't point out the difficulties and extra expenses _three_ kittens will bring. I also won't force them out, either," Riku scoffed with a pointedly squinty look at Monta and Sena. They both grinned sheepishly, but unrepentant.

"I've missed having a cat, you know that, Seijuuro." Sena smiled fondly and petted Kakiko between her trembling ears. She of course ignored him in favor of what was left of the food. "There's no way I could tell you to take them away now when we could take care of them just fine here."

Shin stared at them all, eyes a little too wide and lips parted. Then, slowly, his lips curved into a real smile, little crinkles at the edges of his eyes forming. Monta gaped, eyes almost bugging, and Riku snorted loudly and left the room. Totally not because he was hiding the red creeping over his face.

"Thank you."

Sena reached over to grasp his boyfriend's hand. "It's no problem."

"Where _did_ you find them?" Monta finally asked curiously.

Shin blinked over at Monta. "In a box. It said _free kittens_ on it. I was concerned about them being outside much longer and there was no one around."

Sena laughed and squeezed his hand around Shin's. "No, you're wrong. _You_ were around."

"Eugh, you guys are gross. Right, James, huh, buddy-boy?" Monta complained to the tuxedo-kitten while stroking it happily.

"I'm 90% positive James Bond is female," Shin said seriously.

"WHAT? Why'd you let me name him _James Bond_ if he is a she!?"

"Because it's a _cat_. It doesn't know the difference between gendered human names."

Sena threw back his head, arms wrapped around his stomach, to laugh uproariously. Monta continued to steam at Shin, who just looked confounded. Riku eventually came back with hot coffee for everyone and suggestions to cuddle _and_ start up the movie again.

All in all? A pretty good thunderstorm-y day.

* * *

A/N: I feel like this could've been even cuter. But I wanted his friends there for once AND really? I just wanted kittens and Shin and Sena in the same room. LOL (ALSO, SHIN IN SENA'S CLOTHES LMFAO there's a link to the shirt but it didn't work le sigh ffnet)

The next couple chapters are pretty smut-heavy (at least, that's the plan), so here's something sweet and lighthearted until then. (Also, the smuttiest parts, again, will not be posted here. But the events around them will be. I'm expecting a hilariously/sexy one soon XDD)


	19. Sleeves

**What do they like when going out for food? Who pays for the food the most, when they go out?** **Do they have any favorite food places? (eh kinda)** **Thoughts on wine?** **How is the mood set?**

 **Takes place BEFORE Marks. In fact, it's about a week after Sleepovers. (again this is based on series/collection. It's not supposed to be an actual longfic.)**

* * *

"One whole year, huh?" Suzuna said while idly flipping through that month's issue of whatever magazine she read. Sena really only read the ones about football… or sometimes Shonen Jump.

"A whole year what?" Sena repeated in confusion as he pushed the bar over his head with a loud grunt. Suzuna raised her eyebrow over at him. He kept his focus on the weight bar, though, face flushing and a drop of sweat sliding down his temple, tickling his ear. He ignored it to finish his reps and drop the bar unto its rests with a loud, relieved sigh.

Suzuna clapped politely as Sena sat up, making him flush ever brighter and hide his face in his towel.

"Now, think about it again, Sensen. A whole year," Suzuna told him pointedly.

He stared at her dumbly blinking, wrapping his short towel around his neck. "Uh… we're starting up college again tomorrow, so a whole year of being college- OH! You mean me and Seijuuro!" Sena realized, eyes widened. His expression quickly went dopey with happiness. "A whole year, yeah."

Suzuna rolled her eyes even as her mouth twitched into a fond, indulgent smile. Then, she leaned over and smacked his head. Ignoring his startled yelp, she went on, "As much as I enjoy your cute face when you think about him, _I wanna know details_. What are you two doing for your one year anniversary? I mean, you guys _kinda_ did something to celebrate you telling him your feelings. Your _first kiss_ aversary, as it were," Suzuna teased mischievously. "But the whole Rice Bowl got in the way. So you gotta tell me your plans for your _actual_ anniversary."

Sena couldn't help but shake his head and smile. "Seijuuro's mother made us promise her that we'd let her handle it. Seijuuro was a little… uh… _grumpy_ about it, but she said she really wanted to do something special for us and I didn't wanna disappoint her," Sena explained with a weak chuckle.

Suzuna's eyes lit up.

" _Seijuchan's mother_ is planning you anniversary!? That's so amazing! Oh, I bet it'll be all fancy and ritzy! I hope you have nice enough clothes!" Suzuna enthused with eyes glittering.

Sena felt his easy confidence in the scheme suddenly crumble. Because _what if Suzuna was right_? Sena didn't do well in fancy places or events. He'd worn a tux maybe twice in his whole life. And he didn't actually _own one_. He'd only ever rented one (or had one shoved on him for a night with no idea where it had come from).

"Oh, don't look so freaked, Sena. I'll help you out!" Suzuna offered eagerly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She quickly backed away with a look of disgust. "I forgot how sweaty you were. Eugh!"

Sena snorted into laughter as Suzuna did some sort of shimmy-wiggle while grimacing melodramatically.

Though Suzuna had a list of places and a highly detailed plan for shopping all set up for the next day, it all ended up in vain. She had walked with him back home, dragging a reluctant Riku into the planning by asking for his opinions and suggestions since he _actually dressed well_ (her words of course) while Monta and Sena cowered close to one another. Monta was even devising an escape plan for the next day, when he caught sight of a vaguely familiar sleek, black, European car.

"Hey, is that the car that came and got you last year?" Monta asked, squinted at its plates uselessly, since he'd never known the plate number to begin with.

"Huh?" Sena gaped at it. It certainly _looked_ like it. As they approached, the drivers' door open and a tall, older man in a chauffeur hat stepped gracefully out. "Hoshino-san?" the runningback blurted in surprise.

"You remember me, Kobayakawa-kun?" the driver queried with a pleased smile as he bowed.

"Y-Yeah, of course," Sena quickly bowed back. "Is everything all right? Is Seijuuro all right? The Shin-sans?!" he gasped in sudden concern. Hoshino quickly held up his gloved hands.

"All is well with the Shin family. I suppose I'm not _entirely_ certain about young Shin-san, on account of not seeing him in person since college began. However, I understand from his parents he's doing exceedingly well."

"Oh, oh _good_ ," Sena exhaled in relief, hand to his chest.

"Well, if you aren't here for bad news, what _are_ you here for?" Monta demanded.

"For Kobayakawa-kun's measurements."

The foursome blinked in shock. Then, Suzuna squealed high-pitched and excited as she clapped. "Oh! This is a make-over trope happening! I'm going to see a makeover trope in real life! Oh, how exciting! Are you going to take him someplace fancy for it?!"

Hoshino chuckled behind his fist and bowed to her. "In fact, I am. The lady of the house bid that I take young Kobayakawa to a clothing store she frequents regularly for her husband and son. He'll be properly fitted there."

"Wait, wait- _but why_?" Sena gaped.

"For your appointment in a few days' time."

Sena's jaw almost hit the ground. "This is for the date?"

"Indeed. A year anniversary is a special occasion and Shin-san wanted to make it memorable. She is very fond of you. And her son, of course," Hoshino added on a little wryly.

"I- uh- I-" Sena stammered wildly and stared over at his friends. Riku sighed, but Suzuna hopped up and down with her hands clasped together. Monta just looked sympathetic, patting Sena's shoulder in solidarity.

"Why don't we all go?" Riku suggested, eyes heavenward.

"Oh yes! Yes, _please!_ Sena's so shy, he needs us to come with him. Or he'll stammer and tell you everything is fine, but it's really not," Suzuna told Hoshino with a despairing little shake of her head.

"I-I w-wouldn't be that bad," Sena protested under his breath.

"I would be delighted to take you all. Shall we go, then?" Hoshino agreed easily, opening the back door with a slight gesture of his hand towards the interior.

"We shall!" Suzuna crowed, all but throwing herself inside.

"I'm only doing this cuz I love you, man," Monta informed Sena, very seriously, before following Suzuna inside.

"I'm only doing this to keep Suzuna from taking complete control of everything," Riku murmured with a little smile at Sena. The runningback heaved a giant breath, shoulders slumping.

" _Thank you_. And thank you, too, Hoshino-san," Sena said with another quick bow to the chauffeur. He nodded his head politely, smiling genuinely.

.

Sena fidgeted in his living room, tugging at the cuffs of his sleeves or wiggling his hips to get used to the fitted, slick feeling of the much too costly slacks he wore. Not that he knew how much they _actually_ cost, since Hoshino had been given direct orders to keep Sena from being told. But they _felt_ expensive. Like they were made of spun fairy floss by the hands of magical sprites. He was scared to touch any of his clothes with his hands just two seconds after putting them on because his palms felt clammy and damp from nervous sweat.

" _Stop fidgeting_ ," Riku almost snarled from the couch.

"You look like you're trying to do the Harlem Shake. Or twerk? Which one is it, Riku?" Monta asked, chuckling and elbowing at the elder, ivory-haired safety.

"Whatever it is, it needs to _stop_."

"I don't feel comfortable! I feel ridiculous! Honestly, your real honest opinion, guys! Do I look stupid?!" Sena begged, spinning on his heels to face them and throwing out his arms. His slacks were black and still creased from their ironing before they'd been delivered to Sena's apartment that morning. His long-sleeved button-up was shiny, dark, crimson-red, much like his Deimon Devilbats uniform had been, though a shade or two darker. Over it he wore a fitted black vest or waistcoat or _whatever rich people called them_ , that had all three buttons done up and made his waist look trim and slender and his chest and shoulders look broader. And of course, a skinny black tie that was crookedly hanging from his perfectly-starched collar.

Monta snorted. "You look pretty cool, except for that mess of a tie."

"I can't do my own tie when my hands are shaking! Look! Look at this!" Sena yelped, waving his hands around. Which made _looking_ at them kinda impossible.

"I got it," Riku grumbled, heaving off the couch. He stepped into Sena's space and deftly re-did the tie, then, with a slight huff, undid the button of the waistcoat to left it hang open. "Pull the shirt outta your slacks."

"Huh, wha?" Sena mumbled even as he did as Riku ordered. Riku stepped back, tapped his chin, then nodded.

"Looks good. The shirt isn't so long that it looks slovenly."

" _Slovenly_? What are you, a grandmother?!" Monta barked with a laugh.

"Shut up, monkey," Riku called back without even looking over his shoulder. He just as easily dodged the pillow thrown his way (Sena yelping as he did so). "Don't put your hands in your pockets, you'll ruin the lines. There's a- yup, there it is," Sena squeaked again when Riku stuck his hand inside the waistcoat to feel it up. "There's an interior pocket there. You can put a wallet there, though I think just shoving in an ID and some emergency cash should be all right. You probably won't need anything else since they're sending that Hoshino guy and they're picking up your tab for you."

"You… for someone who doesn't date a lot, you know a lot of stuff," Sena said, blinking rapidly. Riku rolled his eyes.

"I _know stuff_ because I'm not a moron. Also, I might not be castle-owning wealthy, but my family is pretty well-to-do, too. I've worn clothes similar to this before at my mother's parties. Where's your wallet?"

"Uh, here?" Sena scrambled to yank it out of his back pocket. He was honestly worried if he didn't do it fast enough, Riku would go looking for it himself. He _did_ snatch it out of Sena's hands, flip it open, and take out a few items. He frowned and checked the few pockets and then gave Sena the most unimpressed face he'd ever seen. "What?!"

"Where's your condom?"

The noise that came from Sena's mouth probably broke the sound barrier and Monta fell off the couch he was laughing so hard. Riku shoved the small bundle of yenn and ID card in the inside pocket and snapped the wallet closed.

"It's your one year anniversary and they're setting you guys up at a fancy ass hotel for the night! You didn't put a condom in here?!" Riku berated, bopping Sena on the head with his own wallet.

"B-But w-we d-don't- it isn't-! It's only been the one time!" Sena sputtered and squawked as his face flamed.

Riku ran a hand through his hair. "Even if you don't fuck like bunnies-" Monta all but howled from under the coffee table. "SHUT UP, MONKEY! Even if you aren't fucking all the damn time, you always have an emergency condom in your wallet. It's standard procedure of being a damn functioning adult. Unless you're celibate or asexual. _Are you celibate or asexual_?"

"N-n-n-no?"

"Do you want to have sex again in the near future?"

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-yes?" Sena choked out. He flinched when Riku bopped him again.

"Then you always have a condom in your wallet. I will give you one of mine, _but you go buy your own_ , you hear me?"

"B-B-BUY?!"

"Oh my god." Riku left the room, hands thrown in the air.

"He's so cool. I fucking hate him," Monta wheezed around chortles.

"B-B- _Buy_ them?" Sena squeaked uselessly. Monta sighed.

"If you want, we can go buy some together? Not that I _need_ them, but if it'll make you feel better?" Monta offered longsufferingly, cheeks red. Sena nodded desperately. A second later, a condom smacked Sena right in the forehead. He yelped and juggled it in the air before catching it and flushing cherry-red.

"And you call yourself a footballer. Can't even catch a condom to the face," Riku taunted while throwing himself back down on the couch. "Shove it in the pocket I showed you."

Gulping loudly, Sena did so. Then jumped a foot high when the doorbell rung. Riku and Monta both snorted.

"You do remember you're _expecting_ someone, right?" Monta deadpanned, mouth twitching. Sena glared at them and moved towards the door. The condom was _burning_ against his ribs.

But he threw open the door with a bright smile. Only for his jaw to drop and all the breath in him to wheeze out. Sena might feel uncomfortable in these duds, but Shin looked _born_ to wear them. He looked just as good like _this_ as he did out on the field in his pads and tight pants. Or half-dressed, chest sweaty and dirty and hair stuck to his forehead. Or even naked and caveman-grunty on Sena's bed. _How could Shin look so good all the time_? Sena thought in despair and appreciation, eyes darting from hair to toes.

Because Shin's mother had chosen _very well_. He wore charcoal instead of black, like Sena, and sadly, no waistcoat, which would've looked _so good_ on Shin. But his shirt was a soft, velvety-looking mustard-yellow, shirt tucked but top button undone, barely glimpsing the white undershirt. Apparently his mother hadn't told him not to put his hands in his pockets, though, because his hands were shoved in as deep as they could go and kinda looked like they were curled into fists.

Sena didn't care about that. Nope. He was too busy staring with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. He'd never seen Shin in something so _colorful_. White and blue and black were basically his entire color scheme and this was blowing Sena's mind. It didn't help that the fabric looked so _touchable_. Like it'd feel velveteen smooth beneath questing fingertips.

"Your clothes fit well, Sena," Shin grunted out, scowling.

Sena swallowed hard and met Shin's eyes. Eyes that looked brighter somehow with the pretty shirt bringing out the lighter hints of amber in Shin's normally dark brown irises. "Y-yeah? You… You, too. I mean, you look really good."

Shin's eyes tightened at the corner and his shoulders hunched. "You look very nice, too. Red looks good on you."

"I… I've never seen you wear that color," Sena hedged with an embarrassed head-duck to hide the grin at the compliment that was a little more _compliment-y_ than the first one.

Shin shrugged. "My mother."

"Yeah, your mother, all this, too," Sena admitted with a laugh and gesture towards his front.

"Okay, you both look good. Now get out. Don't you have a reservation?" Monta yelled at them.

"They'd have remembered sooner or later," Riku replied nonchalantly.

"Right! Uh, let's- let's go," Sena agreed, grabbing Shin's hand and squeezing out past him.

"Have a good night," Shin politely told the two remaining roommates before being jerked out sight. The door closed with a snap.

The restaurant was just as fancy as the clothes. Complete with menus that didn't have prices on them. And in a foreign language, helpful explanations written in furugana under the Italian. Or French. Or Hungarian. Who even knew? Sena's eyes felt like they were spinning as he gaped around the restaurant. With its white tablecloths and fancy, muted-lighting chandeliers and tiny, scented candles, and polished to gleaming real _silver_ ware.

"The wait-staff is much more down to earth than the interior designing suggests," Shin murmured, hand on Sena's lower back as the hostess led them to their table. Sena gulped and nodded.

Shin held out the chair for Sena, making him crack a grin, and pushed him easily into place. With a quiet, stuttered thanks, Sena took the menus the smiling hostess held out (which he'd only glanced at while waiting for their table). Shin requested something sounding vaguely French at the hostess's prompting and she hurried away after a bright smile and quick bow.

"What was that?"

"A wine my mother told me to get. Or was it champagne?" Shin scowled pensively. Sena gaped.

"Wha-? You didn't have to- I've never had that before! You didn't have to order that, I'd have been fine with tea or soda!" Sena protested in shock. Shin shrugged a shoulder.

"That was my mother, not me. I tend to take her advice for things like… this…" he trailed off as his eyes scanned the room around them.

Sena realized with a start that those scowls and the tension to Shin's shoulders and arms… those were all because of _nerves_.

"Seijuuro, you could've told me this was weird for you, too," Sena said, reaching over to place a hand over Shin's. Shin stared at him, and Sena watched as the tension bled out of Shin's face.

"This is my mother and father's world. I live in it… but I don't…"

"You don't thrive in it. You just hold your breath and wait till you're back on the field, or even with those kids at the community center, don't you?" Sena finished with a tilt to his head and affectionate smile. Shin nodded briskly. He stiffened as a waiter showed up, a long napkin over one arm, a bottle cradled in his hands, and a bucket full of ice on a stand held expertly in the crook of his elbow.

"Your drink, sirs," the waiter greeted. Shin and Sena both flinched slightly at the pop when the cork came off, but Sena laughed a second later, hand still on Shin's. The waiter poured it into their glasses for them.

"Thanks!"

Shin stared over at Sena's smiling profile, his own mouth soft and eyes even softer. The champagne was almost golden in their flutes and Sena picked it up delicately, looking nervous about dropping it, and took a tiny sip. The expression, torn between delight and uncertainty, had Shin ducking his head.

"Is it up to your expectations?"

"Uh-yeah, it's great. Thanks."

"What would you like to order?"

Sena glanced at Shin, who shook his head slightly. "We're not ready yet. Just a minute, please?"

"Of course, just wave me down when you are."

"It's so… so _swanky_. But they are pretty nice, you're right," Sena whispered to Shin the moment the waiter seemed out of earshot.

"Would you like me to help you order?" Shin asked. Sena smiled brightly. Their hands slowly pulled away so they could pick up the menus.

"Yeah, what's some things you ordered?"

"They have a special menu that I order from, but I can show you what my mother and father prefer?"

"A… a special menu?"

"Catered to my more exacting nutritional needs. It's why we come here so often. They tend to their customers' needs very graciously," Shin said absently as his eyes scanned the menu.

Sena blinked at Shin. Then stared around the restaurant. Then, back to Shin. _I'm pretty sure it has more to do with your family's wallet than special needs of customers…_ Sena thought with a slight sweatdrop.

Sena ended up getting some fancy pasta dish with seafood and as much Parmesan on it as he could get away with. Shin's had salmon and a whole bunch of steamed green leafy things. And… something that looked like rice, but wasn't. Sena was just slurping up a (probably too big) mouthful of noodles when he caught motion out the corner of his eye. Shin had set aside his silverware with an aggravated scowl and was unbuttoning the cuffs of his sleeves. The smaller of the two froze, eyes wide, as Shin neatly and efficiently rolled the sleeves up to his elbows, baring _forearms_ and _wrists_ , and what was this the Victorian era?! Bare arms and _wrists_ should not look that erotic. But it _was_. The noodles smacked his nose he inhaled them so fast and, of course, immediately began to choke.

"Sena?" Shin queried in concern.

"F-Fine!" Sena wheezed. And then proceeding to _verbal diarrhea_ all over the place. From his parents showing up at his apartment with some missing sock or misplaced comic book and an armload of food, to every nitty-gritty detail of choosing his upcoming classes, all while his eyes darted around the room, his face got hotter and hotter, and he shoveled food in his mouth. _Did he remember to breathe?_

"Spelunking?" Shin interrupted. Sena slammed to a halt, sputtering and grabbing at his champagne. He was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to guzzle _super expensive champagne_ like it was soda, but his mouth was so dry.

"Y_yeah, I figured I had enough experience climbing _mountains_ , why not try caves? Monta-kun told me I should do something interesting if I needed _another_ outdoor activity on my transcript," Sena gasped out, suddenly light-headed as he set the empty champagne glass down.

"… are you nervous still?" Shin asked after a slight hesitation and narrowed eyes. Sena wrenched his gaze in Shin's direction. To see his hands clasp and his arms resting on the edge of the table. He was leaning forward just enough his biceps stretched the fabric over his arms tightly.

"Wh-Wha?" Sena blurted dumbly, blinking rapidly in Shin's direction.

Shin frowned harder. "Are you all right? Maybe you drank too quickly?"

"Y-Yeah, that's it. I g-gotta- I _gotta pee, bye!_ " Sena burst out, slamming his hands on the table before lightspeeding away.

The bathroom swung open wildly as Sena threw himself through. The bathroom attendant, with their fresh, white towels and pleasant smile, started with a shrill yelp. Fortunately no one else was hanging out in the stalls at the moment. (The signature blessing of most men's rooms.)

"S-Sorry! I d-didn't, I just n-need- _a towel_?" the runningback babbled, grasping at the proffered item a second later. Then, he buried his face into it and screamed quietly.

"Is- Is everything all right, sir?" the attendant asked haltingly.

"Everything's fine. If you could give us a minute," Shin said from behind Sena, face almost thunderous. Sena squeaked. The attendant frowned, but Shin sighed, reached into a pocket and handed over a couple folded bills. The man's eyes bugged out of his head at however much Shin had given, then left with bows and profuse thanks and apologies.

"Did you… Did you just bribe a _bathroom attendant_?" Sena gasped.

"No. It was incentive."

 _That's a bribe!_

"What is happening?" Shin demanded, arms crossing while he leaned against the bathroom door.

 _Not. Fair._ The posture emphasized _everything_. The perfectly fitted slacks, the shirt that _actually_ showed the _ridiculous_ shoulder to waist ratio, and _the sleeves with the arms and the everything_.

"I can't- I can't even look at you," Sena groaned, slumping against the counter and dropping his face in his hands. "I'm a raging _mess_ because of the way you're _dressed_ , Sei. There's nothing _wrong_."

Silence. A slither of cloth over cloth. Then, "The way I'm dressed." Not a question.

" _Yes_. You look… you look really good, okay? When we're on the field, or we're training, I mean, it's _hot_ , but I'm _used_ to it. It helps that I see a lot of it every day anyway. There are some massive dudes on Enma. But, the… the _all this_ , with the sleeves. Did you _have_ to do that?" Sena almost whined before bursting into self-deprecating chuckles.

"The sleeves. I rolled up my sleeves." Shin sounded absolutely dumbfounded. The chuckles became outright guffaws and Sena finally dropped his hands. He gripped the counter on either side of his hips and _laughed_.

"I swear, I'll be fine. I just needed to catch my breath for a second. You're kinda _gorgeous_ and I forget that sometimes," Sena looked up, the corners of his eyes almost teary from his laughter and his cheeks still pink. Shin was just staring at him, eyes wide and hands dropped to his sides.

"Because of the way I'm dressed, you were affected like… _this_?" Shin said slowly as he stepped forward. Sena had to bite down on his bottom lip to keep from pouting, eyes glancing away again.

"Well, yeah. It's different and it fits so _good_. And the color- anyway. Aren't there things I wear that… that affect yout?" Sena mumbled bashfully. He started slightly when Shin's hands fell to the counter next to his. Big brown eyes glanced up into Shin's, startled.

"There was one time."

Sena gulped at the dark intensity building in Shin's gaze. "Y-yeah?" he breathed out.

"When you wore my sweatshirt."

Sena frowned, confused, wondering what Shin was talking about. Then, his eyes popped open wide. "You mean at the temple? When it rained?"

Shin nodded once as his glance raked down Sena's chest, distance and hazy as if picturing it again.

"You could… you could give me… something of yours to keep? I wouldn't mind, like, your old high school jersey, or something?" Sena offered, shuffling and fidgeting with his cuffs.

The sharp inhale had Sena blinking and gaping up at Shin's expression. It was shuttered and his eyes were closed as if against pain, but that was a lot more telling than it would've been even a few months ago. " _Oh_. Okay. Yeah, we should do that. I can sleep in it, or something. That'd be okay, right?"

"Yes." The word was gritty and rough.

"So we should go finish din-" Sena broke off when Shin's broad hands moved, one to bury into the hair at the back of his head, and the other to rest- heavy and warm even through the waistcoat and shirt- on his waist. Their eyes met and locked, Sena shuddering as he gripped at the sides of Shin's bright shirt.

"Would you really wear it?"

Sena nodded quickly, licking his dry lips with the tip of his tongue. "I… I didn't actually _think_ there was something like that that you noticed about me. I know you think I'm attractive! I do! I get it now! But I thought it was kinda… a _me_ thing? Not a 'what I look like thing'?" Sena winced a little as he said it, feeling somehow self-effacing and boastful at once.

Shin huffed and brushed his nose over Sena's. Sena had to bite back something that felt suspiciously like a giggle in his throat. Did Shin even notice he just _Eskimo_ kissed him?

"You're beautiful, Sena."

Sena stared, mouth parting, and the incremental distance between them made the moment too intense, too _serious_ , to be real.

"I don't notice those things. I know this color goes well with your specific complexion, I know the clothes accentuate you figure and your body well. But I don't need them to know I find you beautiful."

Sena pressed his palms flat to Shin's abdomen, sliding up to his chest, as his expression softened, smile growing. He probably looked stupidly and absurdly in love, but he didn't even care.

"You're not supposed to call _boys_ beautiful."

"I never held myself to conventional standards before."

Sena barked a soft laugh, then wrapped his arms easily around Shin's neck and sank into the inevitable kiss.

He liked that. Inevitable kiss. A year ago, he never thought a kiss from _Shin_ would be _inevitable_. He never thought he'd be hiding in a bathroom of a much-too fancy restaurant, with Shin's hands on him and their chests pressed so closely together he could feel Shin's breaths- chest expanding, collapsing- against his own. Sena hoped and daydreamed with the best of the lovelorn, but a part of him had been _so sure_ he'd never get so lucky.

"Happy anniversary," Sena whispered against Shin's lips. He didn't have to open his eyes to see _his smile_ , that smile that was _Sena's_ , that barest of curves at the edges of Shin's mouth.

Sena pushed up on his toes then, leaning his whole weight into Shin's, pressing them from thigh to chest, arms holding him up, as he slanted his mouth under Shin's with a suddenness that had his taller partner having to take a step back to re-position his balance. The surprised grunt, and the automatic reaction of arms thrown around his slender waist, had Sena internally fistpumping in triumph. His fists twisted into _that_ shirt, which was as soft and slick and velvety as it looked, and his tongue flicked out to swipe over Shin's lip. Spring was nicer to Shin's skin than winter, his lips soft and smooth under Sena's, quickly warming and damp as the kiss deepened. He'd finally gotten the hang of this kind of kissing and breathing through his nose- _they'd kissed that much_ , he thought giddily- and it was _fantastic_. Being able to map out the exact taste and shape of Shin's mouth, sliding tongue over tongue, lips slipping only to catch again and press harder. The counter bit into his lower back, causing a quiet _oof_ to escape him, but he took the opportunity to press his mouth to Shin's neck. Like he'd noticed just last week, their first time, it froze Shin solid until Sena set his teeth to skin, just enough to feel the flesh dimple with the flat pressure, and a shudder passed down Shin's larger frame.

And for a dizzying second, Sena felt it. That heady sense of _knowledge_. That _he_ could affect _Shin Seijuuro_ , reduce him to trembling with a press of teeth and lips, and he pulled that patch of skin into his mouth to suck harder, leaving behind a tribute to the moment. His mouth broke away with a surprised squeak when hands cupped his ass and hefted him right off his feet. He grinned feeling the counter under him, locked a leg over Shin's hip, and tipped his hips forward.

The quaking, deep-pitched groan was ripped out of both of them. Stilling them, hands gripping too tight and breaths too fast.

A quiet, polite-sounding knocking interrupted the warm bubble of _them_. The sheer _annoyance_ on Shin's face when he glared towards the door could kill a man, and it had Sena hiding his face against Shin's neck just to stifle the fevered giggles. It was definitely giggles.

"E-Excuse me, but I really need to allow other customers to enter the facilities," murmured the vaguely familiar voice of… of… who? The bathroom attendant!

"Oh my _god_ ," Sena whimpered in utter humiliation. "We're in the _bathroom_."

"Let's leave."

"Eh? But dinner?" Sena protested in surprise. Shin _actually looked conflicted_. Long enough that the attendant knocked again. "We can always get it to go?"

Shin cupped Sena's face in his hands and pressed his mouth hard to Sena's in a quick, fierce, mind-bending kiss.

"I take that as a yes?" Sena mumbled when Shin pulled away and gently set Sena back on his feet.

"Yes."

Sena hid his flaming face in his hand, letting Shin yank him past the few waiting patrons. His boyfriend was literally going to drag him out of an insanely expensive classy restaurant so they could go have sex. If Suzuna were around, she'd probably nod in approval and say something about having priorities in the right order. They went straight to the host podium and Shin almost brusquely demanded their food to be boxed and his driver to be called around. _Which was trippy as fuck._ Didn't this happen in _dramas_ or something!?

Sena was holding a large paper bag in his lap, the bottom burning the top of his thighs, and sitting in the back seat of Hoshino's limo what felt like seconds later. Maybe it was the champagne making his head this spinny, but he had a feeling it was the more the constant weight of Shin's hand on his back.

"This is your key, Shin-san," Hoshino said with a bow and discreetly passing of a small white rectangle into Shin's hand when they got out of the car a while later. "I hope to see you again soon, Kobayakawa-kun." He tipped his hat at Sena when the smaller man stumbled out on Shin's heels.

"O-Oh, um, yes, you, too! Please, Sena is f-fine! And tell the Shins we really appreciate their generosity. Dinner was very good and the clothes are very nice. I'll take care of them so I can return them."

"I'm pretty sure they're yours, Kobayakawa-kun."

"Ehh?! B-But-"

"Argue with my mother about it later. Good night, Hoshino."

Sena _swore_ he heard Hoshino stifle a chuckle at their expense before bowing and going back to the car.

"Don't be _rude_ to him, Seijuuro!" Sena hissed, even as he kept pace with Shin's rapid strides into the hotel. _Ritzy_ was definitely a good descriptor for it, too. But he barely caught sight of marble floors and chandeliers and giant vases of perfectly arranged bouquets, before Shin was herding him into a –

"Is this a gold elevator!?" Sena shrieked, gazing around himself in shock.

"It's not real gold."

"I _know that_!" Sena gulped and back up against the wall while Shin stalked towards him. "Wh-What are you doing? We're a-almost there!"

"Mhm," Shin agreed even as his hands fell to Sena's waist, gripping tight the loose material of the open waistcoat and pulling them close. The doggy-bag fell with a rustle and a thump.

"Really, we can wait," Sena demurred.

But his hands had fallen to Shin's bare wrists, sliding up forearms and staring down at them and wondering just _how_ that was _so_ hot. Sleeves should not be a sexy thing. Right? Shin ignored the feeble argument; not that Sena could blame him, he was ignoring it, too. They both met in the middle, mouths colliding, not even warming up first before going straight into the heady, head-spinning kind of kiss. Hands were almost frantic, pulling the tails of Shin's shirt out of his waistband to slide up bare skin, curving down the shape of Sena's back and hips and butt, erasing any space between them. They were panting harshly, sharing too hot breaths, lips sticking and catching in sounds that reverberated in the small space. The dainty _ping!_ of the elevator almost went unheeded.

With a disgruntled huff, Shin pulled away and yanked Sena with him. Sena staggered after him, barely remembering to snatch the bag back up again, eyes already heavy-lidded and mouth feeling swollen and bruised. He couldn't stop pressing his fingers to his mouth, bag or no bag to make it awkward, thumb brushing over too sensitive skin as his other hand clasped Shin's tightly. The door blinked green with the swipe of the card and Sena swung into the room ahead of Shin. It was too dark, even after the dimness of the hallway. Then, Shin slotted the keycard into the wall reader and the low-setting lights bathed the fancy room in golden light.

"Did we… did we check in?" Sena wondered, very belatedly, eyes on the bed.

A hand fell on his shoulder, turning him and then pushing him up against the nearest wall. Shin gently took the take-out bag away, dropped it on the nearest shelf, then loomed into Sena's personal bubble.

"Didn't need to," Shin stated simply, focused on Sena's tie. Sena swallowed _hard_ , throat audibly clicking as black silk slid through those big, calloused hands. It was tossed like unwanted trash across the room and the waistcoat followed quickly. With its condom... they probably wouldn't need it _right now_.

"I think…I think we shouldn't just throw that-" the runningback tried to protest, even as his fingers eagerly began undoing the buttons- _too many buttons_ \- of Shin's yellow shirt. Somehow they were standing _so close_ , barely enough room for their hands to fumble and bump in each other's way. Their shoes were kicked off with flinch-worthy thuds.

"They're _clothes_ ," Shin grumbled, shucking the red shirt aside. It fluttered to the ground, a pretty silken puddle on the ground, but Sena was too busy staring at Shin. He pulled the shirt down slowly, palms smoothing over the curve and bulge of muscle, heart thundering in his ears.

It took a bit of tugging, but the sleeves finally pulled over the last swell of muscle and Sena let it fall away. Just so his hands could be free to smooth back up again, fingers tracing abdominals, the smooth ridge of ribcage, the heavy indent just under the pectorals. As his hands trailed over shoulders, brushing into the short, fine hairs on the back of Shin's neck, he looked up into Shin's dark, heated gaze.

"Hold me up?" Sena whispered, sounding almost too much like a demand to be a request.

Shin's nostrils flared lightly, but his hands reached down to grip the back of Sena's thighs and he was hefted up with a quiet grunt and held against the smooth, cool wall at his back. Sena murmured a satisfied _yeah_ , sunk his hands into Shin's hair, and placed an open-mouthed, desperate kiss to Shin's lips. He felt the pleased hum down into his _bones_. Bracing his weight against the wall, feeling secure in the hold of Shin's solid, tensed arms, Sena rocked forward. His thighs tightened around Shin's hips as they panted and gasped, grinding too hard, too fast, _so good_. His belt was cutting into his stomach, but the idea of pulling away from the hot pressure against his groin was agonizing. When he shifted just right and found the heavy line of Shin's cock through his pants, lining them up together perfectly, Sena moaned eagerly, hips thrusting forward faster.

"Off."

" _No_ ," Sena whined desperately. He blinked and yanked away so fast his head hit the wall. "I'm sorry I mean, y-yes. O-Of course, was I-"

"Sena." Shin gasped, forehead thumping to the curve of Sena's neck. "Just. The pants."

"Oh. _Oh_ , yeah, let's," Sena shoved his hands down between them, earnestly yanking and pulling at belts with shaking hands. It took a bit of wriggling, but he managed to push Shin's grey slacks down far enough that they fell on their own the rest of the way to the floor. Baring his navy blue boxer briefs that already had a small damp patch of darker blue. He set his thumb to the wetness, rubbing gently and then smoothing down the length of him. A hand slammed into the wall behind Sena's head, and his heartbeat racheted up, mouth drying, but something hot and heavy settled low in his stomach. Making him _ache_. He scrambled to unbuckle his own belt and shove both pants and briefs down. Only to have them stop short, blocked by Shin's pelvis. Sena dropped his head, thudding forehead to Shin's collarbone.

"Sena, take them _off_."

"I'm going! Just, wait, I gotta," he wriggled a bit, making Shin hiss and curl his hand into a fist against the wall. Sena's feet hit the ground and his pants were pushed down and kicked away. He took the moment before climbing back up Shin like a sexy, sturdy _tree_ to hook his thumbs in the elastic band of Shin's underwear and slowly rolled them down, and over and _off_.

It was probably over too soon, but it felt like an eternity. Of them panting brands into each other's skin, a too hard bite to Sena's throat, and soft confessions that had them both shaking. When they both spiralled back down to Earth, gravity won at last, with a giant _fuck you_ , and they both slid down. Shin's knees hit hard, Sena's bare bum hitting cold tile. But they just breathed hard and painful, gulping down air and hands clutching at slippery skin.

"My socks are still on," Sena realized dumbly.

Shin's hands convulsed where they grasped at him, then he curled around his smaller partner and genuine laughter bubbled out of him. Scratchy, raspy, and nearly silent, he huffed and shook with chuckles. Sena smiled dazedly up at him.

"You look beautiful when you laugh," he said drunkenly. Drunken in a way alcohol never accomplished. He felt like he _was_ champagne. Bubbly and a million bucks a bottle.

And he was cum-stupid. So cumdumb.

"Bed please?" he whimpered pitifully.

"Shower," Shin replied. Sena pouted.

" _Bed_."

"Really?"

" _Yes_. _Bed_. Grab a-a-" Sena wiggled and flailed around until he spotted them. "There! Towels! We'll just wipe off the worst and _sleep._ We can shower properly in the morning. Together?"

He bargained hopefully, eyes wide and pleading. Shin huffed again, eyes not _quite_ rolling, but nodded and slowly dragged them both up. Somehow, Sena ended up with his legs hooked over Shin's arm, the other cradling his back to keep him pressed close to Shin's chest, despite the sticky mess between them.

"I thought I appreciated your arms before. It was not enough," he mumbled, giggling and sighing when he was dropped onto the bed. It was fluffy and bouncy and _huge_ and _pillows_. He snagged a giant one and buried his face in it.

He was out like a light before Shin came back with a towel.

Shin scoffed quietly and wiped down Sena's utterly lax body as best he could, making sure to get the worst of the mess. He perfunctorily wiped himself down, sighing in relief when he finally got to slump onto the bed himself. The movement had the already snoring Sena rolling closer. Long, still warm and damp limbs wrapped around Shin as the runningback snuggled close, disregarding the pillow he'd just been koala-ing to nuzzle against the ball of Shin's shoulder and throw an arm over Shin's torso. Shin pulled the loose sheet over them and pressed his nose to the crown of Sena's hair, eyes closed and arms tight around Sena's waist. "Happy anniversary."

Sena mumbled incoherently, and smiled in his sleep.

* * *

A/N: So y'all got pretty much everything but the super descriptive peen parts. So, *jazz hands*

but srsly tho. why is all my porn almost 20 pages long? CAN'T I JUST HAVE SIMPLE FUN SEXY TIEMS? NOOOOO gotta have fucking BACKSTORY. I will do an PWP one day! That won't be posted here... BUT YEAH. I feel like the actual peen parts were too short compared to the build up. I need to work on this. ANYWAY, I HOPED YOU ENJOYED IT!


	20. Kinks

**Thoughts on sex toys? Who tops during sex? How do they like their sex? How rough can the sex get before it's taken too far? And then some... (Most of these questions are answered in _theory_.)**

 **PLEASE SEE THE END OF THE CHAPTER FOR THE WARNINGS AND IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE. This one earns the "Mature" label VERY. MUCH. Basically the entire explicit scene is cut, but ... yeah, you better read the ending note, my dears.**

* * *

Takami pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose in astonishment. It was just a few days after the small group of Americans had left. Summer was in full, humid, sunny swing, Tokyo's skyline a hazy, indistinct wavering in its heat. This day in particular was sunny and bright (though that wouldn't necessarily make a difference, as past experiences had proven), in other words, the perfect day for running up a certain renowned mountain. But for some reason, Shin had tracked Takami to his familial home- his retreat during the school breaks, why spend more money?- and was currently standing on the older man's stoop. In the stern-faced linebacker's hands, he held out a folded piece of print-paper, whatever being printed on it hidden within the folds out of sight.

"You need what from me exactly?" Takami inquired curiously as he took the paper.

"Help with the internet research required for this project. A personal one." Shin answered bluntly. His frowned darkened slightly. "I went to the library. The attendant did help with some pertinent books and journals on the subjects, but much of it is online only. They didn't think it appropriate to use the library public computers for this kind of study."

Takami's eyebrows shot up, glasses slipping down his nose. He unfolded the paper a second later, frowning incredulously. "Just what kind of research are you conducting, Shin?" His frown was almost Shin-levels of intensity as his dark eyes scanned the page. "These all seem to be personal blog sites. A few look a little less amateur, but… can't you just look these up yourself?" Takami's eyes didn't rise from the paper as he spoke, mouthing a few of the stranger-looking blog-titles silently. Some of the web domains and the end of the urls were very… odd.

"I attempted to do so. The keyboard was defective and flimsy. I was asked to leave when I requested a replacement," Shin replied calmly and without a trace of shame or guilt.

Takami barely restrained a snort. "All right. I'll help." Mostly just to satisfy his own curiosity. "How soon do you need it back?"

Shin glanced away, arms crossing over his chest. "I understand you have private affairs to attend to, but I prefer it as soon as possible."

Any minutes now, Takami would _stop_ being startled by this conversation. Or anything Shin ever did.

"I see," Takami drawled, hiding his actual reaction under his own, smirkier, poker face. "I'll attempt to return it within a week."

For a moment, Shin's perfect stoicism broke. Flared nostrils, the corners of his mouth and eyes tightening, barely betraying an expression of impatience. The stone-faced scowl slammed back down as he reined himself in and nodded once, briskly.

"My thanks."

And with that, he took his leave.

"You're welcome and good-bye, Shin," Takami huffed amusedly. "Let's go see what our strange friend is up to," he muttered to himself, backing into his home and closing the door.

Three days later, a thick manila envelope made its way to the Shin residence. Return address: Takami's. Shin accepted it from Hoshino with a puzzled frown and distracted thanks. Taped to the back was a small, single sheet of paper folded into eighths.

 _I implore you to figure out how to use your own computer. I must respectfully decline any such research assistance you may require in the future. Good luck in your …endeavors._ The note read simply.

"Good news, dear?" Juuri queried in concerned interest.

"Yes and no," Shin said slowly, carefully re-folding the note. "It seems I need to sign up for computer classes this fall."

Juuri and Seisuke exchanged baffled, but _amused_ glances.

"Son, you need _technology_ lessons," Seisuke joked before booming with laughter.

Juuri placed her fingertips to her mouth even as her lips curved upwards. "Perhaps one of your friends would be better suited to the task? Sena-kun, even?" she suggested.

"Hn," Shin grunted pensively, then set his chopsticks to the side. "May I be excused?"

He had some reading to do before training, after all.

Sena opened the door later that same day. He was smiling brightly and still damp from the post-practice shower. His shoulders were slumped with that familiar weariness the best training wrought, and he wore the sort of clothes he only ever wore at home. Sweatpants with holes at the knees and a t-shirt faded from washing and loose around the neck. A lazy greeting had Shin waving towards Monta, who was sprawled across the couch, lethargic and mostly unconscious. Shin stepped into the apartment and out of the heat gratefully. Due to his own daily routine and practice, he had taken his own shower, but hadn't quite dried before throwing on clothes to get to Sena's after Sakuraba announced his text. His clothes stuck to him awkwardly thanks to sweat from humidity made even worse from shower dampness.

"I'm surprised you came so quickly! I was expecting you after dinner. How was practice?" Sena asked, already handing over a glass of iced barley water.

Shin chugged it down gratefully. He froze, pulled the cup from his lips, and then stared down at it, eyebrows high. Sena pressed his lips tightly together to keep from bursting into laughter at the scandalized expression.

"It's just a little bit of cinnamon, Seijuuro."

Shin flicked his gaze up at Sena, one eyebrow still high, before finishing off the cup. "Thank you. It's not bad."

"Sounds like ringing endorsement. Come on, let's go lay out in front of my fan and listen to some podcasts I downloaded. You'll like them."

"I will?"

"Yup," Sena replied cheerfully.

"I wanted to have a discussion with you," Shin protested bemusedly. The privacy of Sena's room, though, was better than having the talk in the living room next to a snoring Monta. He followed on Sena's heels to his bedroom. "Where's Riku?"

"He went out to meet up with some friends. I think some of the Takekura guys, actually," Sena explained easily, already across his room and fiddling with his computer.

"Good."

Sena looked over at Shin in confusion at that. "I thought you liked Rikku-kun?"

"Not the matter at hand. Can you please come sit down?" Shin entreated, gesturing towards the open space on the bed next to him. Sena blinked, but obediently walked over and sat down.

"Is everything all right?"

"Yes, everything is fine. However, I had a feeling that we should discuss a certain aspect of our relationship after the last…last occurrence…" Shin frowned as he stumbled over the right word to use.

"Occurrence? I don't- Is this about the not telling you everything? Because I get it! Really! I'm more than willing to share more and not think I'm a total downer or bother. I get that those things matter to you just as much as they matter to me! Really!" Sena exclaimed, hands clasping around one of Shin's, brown eyes earnest and mouth firm with resolve. Shin couldn't help but trace his thumb along the bottom of Sena's lip, fingers holding his pointed chin gently. Sena didn't look away or get nervous. Just kept his gaze steady on Shin's.

"I was talking about our sexual experiences, Sena."

There was the blushing and rapid back-flailing. Sena squeaked and almost flailed himself off the bed, face tomato red and eyes wide.

"Our what? No, wait, don't repeat it!" Sena hissed, slapping his hands over Shin's mouth. The look Shin gave him was the epitome of unimpressed. Sena chuckled weakly and let his hands drop. "I me-mean, o-of c-course you can! C-Cause we're a-adults."

"Yes." Shin gave Sena one last lingering look, then reached in his pocket and took out a single, much-folded piece of paper. "This is the list I made using the information your friend Emily gave me and the research from that list."

"E-Emily? Oh! The paper she gave you at the airport?" Sena asked with dawning understanding. He took the paper offered as Shin nodded his affirmation.

"This isn't what she gave me, how-"

" _Oh my god_." Sena shrieked, luckily high-pitched and breathless, so the sound didn't escape his room. His blush, which had been gradually fading, returned in full force, from his hairline and all the way down to his collarbones. He slapped the paper flat to his chest and stared at Shin, eyes bulging and jaw hanging almost to his knees. "This is a- _Is this a kink list_?"

"Ah, kink. The sexual predilections of a person."

"I _know the definition_ , Seijuuro!"

Shin slipped the paper out of Sena's admittedly weak grasp and smoothed it over his thigh. "I believe this list could be termed so, yes. After the last time, we discussed my… _kink_ for leaving a… _mark_ behind, and how you were not adverse to it."

"How can you make this sound so dry?" Sena murmured to himself incredulously.

Shin's mouth twitched, but he forged on. "When I realized just what Emily had given me, I decided to do thorough research on the topic of sexual tastes, or _kinks_ , so that we may apply them to _us_."

Sena was still gaping and flushed an extremely concerning shade of red. Shin frowned lightly, a bit of uncertainty settling in his shoulders. Shrugging the tension aside, he glanced back down at the paper. "I'm not experienced in these things. I don't like not _understanding_ what I want, or how I feel."

"J-Just like when I told you I liked you over a year ago. You researched romance and dating and… and _stuff_ , just so you could be sure of what to say to me," Sena realized slowly. Shin nodded, relieved. "I g-guess this makes sense. And… maybe it's b-best…" Sena fidgeted a bit, fingers twisting and wringing agitatedly. "Now that we're actually _doing_ this, talking about it, and what we like or think we might like, that's…that's a _good_ thing."

"I don't like going in blind," Shin agreed readily. Sena laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, his flush down to a more normal pink shade. Thankfully. Shin really _was_ getting anxious over that. He had almost turned purple for a second.

"So… umm… the list?" Sena stuttered, holding out his hand. Beckoning. Shin handed it back over willingly. "Did you put them in any preferential order?"

Shin shook his head. "I merely put them in alphabetical order. I did not want _my_ opinion to sway yours before you could even look."

Sena grinned awkwardly, somewhere between relieved and fond and _discomforted_ all at once.

"So, first one, ana-" Sena almost swallowed his tongue, choking and gasping for air. Shin patted his back quickly.

"Sena?"

" _Really? The first one?_ " Sena gasped, tears in his eyes as he gulped down air.

"It's _alphabetical_ , Sena."

Sena dropped his face in both his hands, ignoring the paper crumpling against his cheek. He was too busy trying not to groan in humiliation.

"Sena, it's just anal. _Doctors_ use that term," Shin said despairingly, snatching the paper back and smoothing it out again methodically. Sena let out a squeak muffled by his hands. "I take it that _this_ is a no." He plucked a pen off Sena's nightstand to cross it out.

"What! No! I didn't say that!" Sena yelped, looking up and grasping Shin's wrist. Shin stared at him, bewildered, pen still hovering over the list. "It's just- It's kinda jumping into the deep end for me, okay? Just… let me re-adjust at bit." The runningback sighed, dropping his hand away. His eyes fluttered closed and he breathed deep to calm his racing heart. Shin narrowed his eyes down at him. He thought Sena would have some difficulty, but so quickly? And so much? He'd have to reschedule a bit in his mind to accommodate for this. Sena finally opened his eyes, jaw firmed, and gave Shin a nod.

"So, would you like to try anal penetration?" Shin asked bluntly. Sena flinched a little.

"Y-Yes. Eventually, I would. I… I know some gay couples don't, and it's totally fine, there's plenty to do. But… I'd like to try it. Would you?" Sena managed to answer relatively clearly.

Shin frowned down at the paper. "I am honestly not sure. There's a lot of preparation involved, not to mention hygiene issues. It's a lot of effort for something we might not enjoy," he pointed out astutely. Sena nodded, but still looked unconvinced, fingers twisting in the hem of his shirt.

"I get all that, but… I do… wanna… try…" his voice got steadily lower as he spoke.

"In what manner?" Sena frowned at the question, obviously not understanding. Shin tapped the paper. "One does the penetrating-"

" _Oh my god, please stop using that word_."

"And the other one is penetrated. Why can't I use that word?"

"It's just- use _top_ or _bottom_ ," Sena begged almost desperately. Shin frowned, eyes squinting.

"I don't see how those terms capture the nuance of meaning necessary."

"It's a little simplistic, I get it, but it's just easier. Top for the… the _doing_ part and bottom for the…t-taking p-part," Sena explained, stuttering and rushed. Shin's eyebrow raised.

"You wouldn't necessarily have to be on top to be penetr-"

"SO! I was thinking I could try the b-bottoming thing!" Sena interrupted shrilly. Shin blinked once.

"Really?"

Sena shuffled a bit and nodded, eyes downcast. "I know it's a little stereotypical, the 'littler guy' being bottom, but I just thought… maybe I'd l-like it," Sena confessed quietly. Shin glanced down at the list, face pensive. "We don't have to, though! It's just… I don't want to take it completely off the table?"

"In the interest of full experimentation, we'll take turns," Shin said decisively, making a note next to the entry. Sena gulped loudly, pupils dilating, as he swung around and stared at Shin. "If we don't like it either way, we'll just stop. But if it's something you know you're interested in, and I'm unsure but have no _negative_ feelings about, then we should try it both ways."

"You would… you would _bottom_?" Sena asked incredulously. The linebacker shrugged.

"I'd try it. I don't put stock in stereotypes, Sena. I'm not going to only try one way because I'm the 'bigger' guy in this relationship," Shin replied frankly. Sena nodded, looking dazed and dumbfounded.

"The next one?" he prompted, swallowing hard past a suddenly dry throat.

"Asphyxiation," Shin stated in with a dark, heavy scowl. Sena blinked.

"What the what?"

"It's also called choking."

"EH?!" Sena snatched the list away and stared at the word, as if staring would give him answers to the tumble of questions in his mind. " _Choking_? People do that?! Why?"

"So you're not interested," Shin said with a relieved sigh.

"No, I don't like the idea of you almost killing me during sex!" He immediately turned beet-red saying the word aloud. "Why would people do that?" he hurriedly asked.

"Apparently it makes the orgasm better. I… I did not research it quite as thoroughly as I should have. I wasn't…I didn't find it appealing," Shin grumbled, crossing out the word with a quick jerk of his wrist.

"Agreed. What's next- biting? Oh." Sena's hand reach up to touch his neck, where the last bit of pinkish discoloration from a week before lingered. Shin felt his eyes follow the motion, stuck where Sena's thumb smoothed over the vestiges of the mark Shin had left behind. Their eyes met and Sena's smiled, secretive and bashful. "I think that's a yes. Can I… to you?"

"Yes," Shin agreed quickly, hoarsely. Sena looked away, blushing and biting down on his lip to keep from grinning. With a rough clearing of his throat, Shin dragged his attention back down to the list. "Bondage."

Sena started in shock. "B-Bondage?" He wet his lips with a swift flick of his tongue. "L-like, with ropes and stuff?"

"… yes, that's the more… experienced kind, however. The articles and blogs recommended using scarves, ties, or even handcuffs first. They include basic restraint sometimes, such as just using hands and natural strength."

As Shin carefully remembered his reading, Sena was already squirming. He knew how strong Shin was, he'd been pinned down and hefted up dozens of times. He still remembered their anniversary night with blazing clarity. It may have starred in several jerk-off fantasies, unsurprisingly. Sena liked that Shin was strong, was _stronger_ than him, but always knew to keep things gentle off the field. But what if Shin _could_ use that strength in the bedroom? Pinning Sena down, keeping him still and unable to move, totally at Shin's mercy? That… sounded really… really _fun_. Shin was so _thorough_ , and he had so much more control than Sena did. And Sena trusted Shin more than he'd ever trusted anyone. They could… they could do something like that and it'd be _fun_.

"Yes." The word came out a little too breathy, his heart thudding in his throat and his hands gripping the loose fabric of his t-shirt over his belly, where something hot was twisting and burning. "I want that."

Shin easily checked it. "I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as we're careful. I don't know how much I'd like it done to me-"

"To _me_. I'd like you to do that to _me_ ," Sena clarified quickly, too quickly. It had Shin staring at him in surprise. "I'm fast, but you're the strong one. I _like_ that you're stronger. I like that you… that you take care of me… when we…" Sena blushed brightly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just trust you to do it right."

Shin's grip tightened around the pen in his hand. "We'll definitely try it."

Sena nodded, licking his lips again, then glanced towards the list. "Collars?" His head tilted to the side. "Like… _pet_ collars?"

"They can be made and ordered specially for humans, I read," Shin said tonelessly, eyes still distant.

"I don't think I'd like feeling like a pet. I buy collars for _cats_. Though…" He narrowed his eyes on Shin's neck. "You could probably pull the look off."

Shin snorted loudly, finally breaking out of his reverie and crossing the item off. "I don't like the idea of being owned, or owning you."

"And if you wanna be all possessive, we've already okayed biting," Sena attempted to tease, smirk a little wobbly and cheeks pink. Shin shot him a _look_.

"Indeed." He looked down at the list and something like _want_ flitted over his features before he carefully shuttered it away. "Coming untouched."

Sena blinked, his thoughts going again to last week, Shin shuddering over him, groaning into the damp curve of his throat. "I don't think we have a problem with that one," he said a little breathlessly.

"I'd like to try that with you."

Sena flushed up to his hairline. "O-okay. We could do that."

Shin nodded once and tapped the next one. "I don't understand the appeal of this one."

Leaning over to squint at it, Sena pressed a hand to his mouth to stifle giggles. "Really? You don't like the idea of crossdressing?" he asked, both amused and curious. "I thought every guy likes maid costumes or school girl uniforms."

Shin's mouth twisted into a grimace. "I've seen males in maid costumes. Ootawara in such a thing was not attractive at all."

Sena burst into laughter, doubling over and clutching at his stomach. "I totally forgot about that! Sakuraba-kun looked cute, though, right?" Sena wiped at his eyes and gasped painfully.

"If you say so."

"What about… um… l-l-lingerie? Some guys… they like wearing fancy lingerie stuff? Suzuna showed me a website that made it especially for men and threatened to buy me some for my birthday last year."

" _Why_?" Shin honestly looked perplexed at the idea. "Did she want to see you wear it for her?"

"What!? No! It was because she's _Suzuna_ and she likes embarrassing me," Sena sighed, slumping a little. "But she also thought if I wore it I could… _seduce_ you or something. It was back when I thought maybe you didn't want to… you know… _ever_."

"Ah. I don't think such tactics would have worked on me. If I wanted to be seduced, putting clothes _on_ would not be the way to do it," Shin said nonchalantly.

Sena choked on air.

"The next one is _docking_. I… Is this something you want to try?" Shin asked, a little bewildered. Sena blinked, still coughing and panting for air.

"W-Whassat?"

Shin pointed to the word and the little handwritten blurb of an explanation. Sena promptly choked again. "Is th-that _f-fun_?"

"I have no idea, but research claims it so."

"I don't hate the idea of it?" Sena wheezed slowly.

"Maybe, then."

"People are weird. Who looked at… at _that_ and thought, let's do this and see what happens? Who was the first person to try that?" Sena wondered aloud. Shin's mouth twitched.

"Someone with a fixation and a lot of curiosity."

Sena snort-chuckled helplessly. "What's the next one?"

"Speaking of fixations. Oral fixation was a term I found. I wrote it down… I… I don't think I have such fixation, but I like the idea of my mouth on you."

He really _did_. After trying his hand at oral last week, he couldn't get the idea of spending hours just _practicing_. Keeping his mouth on Sena's cock, feeling him soft in his mouth, getting harder, figuring out exactly where and how to get the best reactions, how deep could he get him down his throat. He liked Sena's fingers in his mouth, and the taste of his skin and juddery pulse on Shin's tongue. He liked feeling Sena come _undone_ under his mouth.

"Y-yeah, I… I like it, too," Sena murmured, pulling Shin out of his musings.

He checked the item with something close to smugness.

"Orgasm Delay or Denial."

Sena squawked. "Denial!?"

"I liked the delay one. I like making you wait. You're too fast, want it too quickly. I like it when you wait for me to tell you to let go," Shin admitted. Sena pressed his hands to his red face.

"I think I'm boiling my brain today," he muttered to himself. "I'm going to stain my face permanently tomato-red."

"I don't think that's possible. Is that a no?"

"N-No. I mean, it's not a no? I… I like that, too. Like with the… with the restraining bondage stuff. I like… like you telling me… telling me what to do. I get so embarrassed and self-conscious," Sena was mumbling by this point, hands twisting his shirt in his hands so tightly the threads were creaking. "It's nice not having to be anxious or worried because I know I'm doing it right if you're _telling_ me to do it. I don't like the denial part though. I _want_ to… you know."

"But if I ask you to wait, you'd be okay with that?" Shin clarified, voice a little too low. Sena rapidly nodded, voiceless.

"Prostate Stimulation."

Sena wheezed. "That's an a-a-nal thing."

Shin had to fight down the insane surge of pride that Sena managed to _finish_ saying 'anal'. "Yes, I know. We agreed to give that a try. This should be a maybe, too?"

"Y-yes. I… I don't where how to… find it…though?"

"It's not a subway system. I'm sure we'll figure it out."

Sena laughed helplessly, forehead knocking against Shin's shoulder.

"It should really help with the coming untouched. If we're sensitive enough, some men just don't enjoy it."

Sena nodded soundlessly, then placed his finger on the list. "Public sex, Seijuuro? Really? _You_ would be okay with that?"

"Ah… no."

"What about... _kinda_ public? Like… the bathroom at that restaurant? Where we might get caught, but probably not if we do it right… how was that?" Sena specified, keeping his face hidden against Shin's arm. Shin stared down at him.

"That's something _you_ like."

Sena squeaked, knowing he was caught. "I…I may have… um… fantasized about… the locker rooms…" he mumbled, voice so muffled by Shin's arm that the older man almost couldn't make it out.

And well… Shin didn't put those things together. Football was football, his romantic relationship was _separate_. He couldn't merge them together because he and Sena were on opposing teams. He couldn't grey area his career and his relationship, they both deserved more respect than that.

But… Sena seemed really keen on the idea. And if it wasn't after a practice, or if it were after a game with _another_ team… He remembered that kiss after the Rice Bowl. He remembered how hot his blood had been after his victory, how intense every caress had felt, magnified by a thousand with his blood still pounding so close to the surface, skin already feverish. Only Sena's less than joyful demeanor had cooled his ardor that night.

"We could… try that. I prefer not before a game, or if the game is us against each other."

"Yeah!" Sena yelped eagerly. He blushed brightly and quickly reined himself in. "Yeah, that'd be… let's try that sometime."

Shin was almost smiling as he looked back down at the list. The barely-there lift of his lips died a quick death, wiping away between one blink and the next. He hadn't wanted to write down this option.

"I don't like this one," he said firmly. Sena glanced over. A quickdrawn breath and his eyes widening were his first, involuntary reactions.

"No, I don't think I do, either. It's like the choking thing. I don't want to hurt you, or you to hurt me. Not like _this_ , not even if it's pretend. I don't want to pretend to be scared of you, and I've never liked having power over anyone else. Definite no on that."

Shin gratefully crossed out _rape-play/Noncon scenes._

"I thought… since you liked the bondage… you might…" For once, Shin was stumbling for words, looking uncomfortable and edgy. Sena reached out and placed his hand on Shin's wrist. His thumb swept over the knob of bone, soothing and gently.

"Sei, I would never ask you to do something you truly despise. This is for _both_ of us. And that other stuff? I liked it because I _trust you not to hurt me_. You can pin me down or tie me up, but it's not about the pain. It's about putting myself in your control and knowing you'll _take care of me_. That? That's pretending you're _really hurting me_ , that I'm _scared of you_. I could never be scared of you. Not since I was 15 and a weak little bullied kid with zero confidence. _You gave me confidence_. You never hurt people because you _like to_ , and I know that. I've always known that."

Shin shoulders slumped and the expression he turned on Sena was overwhelming in affection and _gratitude._

"I love you."

Sena smiled and ducked his head. "Jeez, Seijuuro. Anyone who actually knows you can tell you're a nice guy. You just _look_ angry. C'mon, finish the list." He snuggled closer though, arm snaking in between Shin's side and arm to hug his bicep like a pillow. The soft huff of Shin's breath over Sena's hair had the shortie smiling. "Love you, too," he added quietly. Shin pressed a kiss to the crown of his head- the sappy sap of a cheeseball- and brought the list up to read.

"Rimming is the next one. I don't thi-"

Sena made a soft, quickly stifled noise.

"Sena?"

"I… I just… it always looked like they really enjoyed it…" Sena muttered.

"They? …are you talking about pornography?"

Sena 'eep'ed and slapped a hand to his face. "Yes, maybe."

"At least one of us watches it," Shin retorted wryly. His eyes traveled down to the item in question once more, features concerned. "I'm really worried about mouths anywhere near that area."

Sena burst into giggles, sagging against Shin's side and feeling almost drunk from light-headedness. One day, ONE DAY, talking about sex won't be this hard.

"There's stuff to do… to use… to keep it clean. But if it's really gross for you, it's okay. We don't have to."

"…is it in a lot of pornography?"

"It's in almost every one I've watched. It's pretty popular. Don't worry, though! It's fine! We don't have to!"

Shin frowned down at the list. "I'll watch some videos first. I need a better informed opinion."

"You're… you're going to watch _porn_ … to get a better informed opinion on _rimming_?" Sena blurted in shock. Shin nodded as he wrote a note down. _I honestly can't tell if I'm more turned on or confused by this…_ Sena thought to himself.

"Sca- no. No, Sena, please, no," Shin said suddenly, face serious and eyes _pleading_. "I can't do this." Sena blinked and looked down at the list.

" _Oh my god, no!_ " Sena burst out, face white. The utter relief radiating off of Shin was _palpable_. He struck off the option with a vindictive little scratch.

"Somnophilia? Oh, like, sleeping se-" Sena broke off in the middle of his epiphany, words slamming into babbles.

"Sex, Sena." He sounded almost _weary._

"This, um, I'm okay with this. Would you be okay with this?" Sena asked, ignoring Shin's huff.

"I prefer you awake."

Sena snorted painfully. "I wouldn't mind _waking up_ to this," Sena tried again carefully.

Shin stared at him, brain whirring. " _Ah_. Yes." Whatever he'd thought up had him checking it a second later.

 _Should I be laughing or worried about that?_

"Hm, sounding. I saw this mentioned but I don't think I understood the translations. This wasn't on the list I gave Takami. It turned up in some of the articles he'd printed for me, however."

"Ta-Takami-san s-saw this?!" Sena shrieked. Shin nodded.

"The librarians wouldn't help me. Could you look this up for verification?"

Sena grumbled under his breath, ears burning, but pulled up a search engine on his phone and dutifully typed it in. "Oh, look, a video!"

He hit play and they waited for it to load. A second later, their jaws dropped and both were blanched bone-white.

"Turn it off, Sena," Shin ordered brusquely, physically recoiling away from the screen.

"I am! I'm trying! The ads keeping popping up and- there! It's gone! Oh my _god_."

" _Why would someone do that_?" Shin demanded, _horrified_. Sena fishmouthed and shook his head, looking just as shaken.

"Just no. Scratch it out. _No_."

Shin quickly did so, movements wooden and jerky. "Temperature play."

"Like, hot versus cold?" Sena asked, grateful for the change in topic. _So grateful_. He was going to have nightmares over that video. Also, he was pretty sure his phone had a virus now. Crap.

"From what I saw, there was using ice and hot wax? Not hot enough it actually burns, though." Sena still grimaced at the idea.

"I… I don't think I'd like that. And not just because of the wax. Rubbing ice all over me doesn't sound fun. I hate being cold."

"I don't think I'd like this either."

"So, no. What's next?"

"Toys."

Sena immediately pictured a teddy bear, then his favorite action figures as a kid. Then, after rolling his eyes and reminding himself _this is about sex, Sena, not those kinds of toys!_ he thought about it a bit more, biting his lip.

"Uh, yeah. There's some things I'd like to try. I'm just… I'm too embarrassed to go out and _buy_ them. And I didn't want to order anything online to my _parents'_ house or to my _dormitory_ , you know?" Sena confessed with an awkward laugh. Shin nodded seriously.

"Some of them had a very strange appearance, but most I could see the appeal of. We could look for some together and you can order them to arrive here?"

Sena blushed, but couldn't help the grin spreading across his face. "Yeah, I'd like that. I might have a mini-heart attack during the actual _looking_ part, but I'd like that."

Shin checked it, mouth twitching at the corner.

"Well, we've gotta be almost done. What's left?"

"Just two. Voyeurism and watersports." Shin's eye twitched over the last one.

"Water sports? That actually sounds fun," Sena said guilelessly picturing shower sex or even beach sex or something. Romantic and very sexy, in Sena's opinion. Shin always looked so good sweaty and damp. They'd already proven that wall sex wasn't a hardship, either. Shower sex was a huge favorite in the few erotica Suzuna had forced him to read.

Shin's noise of surprise and _pain_ had Sena pulling out of his fantasies with a startled frown.

"Seijuuro?"

"S-Sena, what do you think… that means?" Shin asked, choking out the words.

"L-like… sh-showers or a p-pool or...?" Sena hesitantly replied, wondering just why Shin looked so betrayed. Shin dragged a hand over his face, sigh rough and long. "N-No?"

"No. Sena, it's… it's urine."

Sena gaped at him.

"Like… I pee on you?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes, that _is_ what it means."

"No, I don't _want that_."

"Thank you."

"Why did you even put in on there?! Or the other one?" Sena demanded, aghast and utterly flummoxed.

"In the interests of full disclosure-"

"Seijurro, let me make this very clear," he forced Shin to meet his eyes. Very serious eyes. " _I do not want to do what I do on the toilet on my bed_. Literally or figuratively."

Shin looked away, hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking.

"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!? This is VERY serious, Seijuuro!"

"Y-yes, I know. I-I a-agree."

" _You're laughing_."

"It's n-nothing."

"Fine, we're done."

"You didn't say yes or no to the other one," Shin said, mouth still twitching at the corners as he turned back to Sena. Who was glaring at the opposite wall, arms crossed and blushing cheeks puffed slightly.

"I can't remember what it was."

"Voyeurism."

Sena blinked, offense sliding away as he rolled the term over in his head. "Voyeurism? Like… watching other people?"

"No, me watching you." Sena felt shiver run down his spine at _that_ tone of Shin's voice. He couldn't bring himself to turn around, though, hands tightening into fists under his biceps. "We could do it the other way. But I _know_ I like watching you."

"Y-yeah?"

"I always like watching you."

"That should be creepier than it is," Sena breathed out. His eyes slid shut as Shin placed calloused fingers to his jaw line, sliding over soft skin and making Sena shudder.

"Says the man who can't stop staring when I'm training without a shirt on," Shin pointed out, amusement clear in his tone. Sena bit his tongue. He had no idea Shin had _noticed that._ "I would like to sit back and watch you one day. I wouldn't even need to touch myself. I would just watch you."

"W-Would you-" Sena broke off, biting on his lip just shy of too painful, cheeks ruddy.

"Would I what?"

"W-Would you tell me what to do?" Sena whispered.

Shin's fingers went still and Sena heard his breath too loud in his ears. It thundered with his heartbeat and his hands dropped to his lap, curling into the loose, soft fabric of his sweats. He couldn't bring himself to look up yet. Not with the heat already surging in his stomach and the embarrassment lighting up his face.

So he didn't see the way Shin's eyes went dark. Or way his hand holding the list clenched convulsively, crumpling it in his fist thoughtlessly. Sena didn't see the way Shin's eyes scanned down his profile, lingering on his bitten-red bottom lip and white-knuckled hands.

"Would you do exactly as I told you?"

Sena jumped slightly, his heart jumping into his throat with him, belly twisting into coils.

"Y-yes."

"Right now?"

"Right now? Like, _right now_ right now?" Sena repeated, eyes wide as he finally looked up. Shin's face, his intensity burning into Sena's astonished gaze, had that coiled heat burning. His mouth went dry at Shin's nod and he could already feel his cock jump in his pants. "Yes, right now."

Shin got up and walked towards the desk. The small confused noise that escaped Sena at the abrupt action had him blushing brightly, humiliated at the needy sound. But Shin didn't leave. He merely pulled out Sena's desk chair and sat down, legs a little wide and hands on his knees. The list was lying forgotten on the desk behind him.

"Take off your shirt."

Sena grabbed the hem, belly and groin hot at the low-pitched command. Gradually, he pulled the shirt up and over his head. It wasn't quite _smooth_ , his nose getting caught and the sleeves catching around his elbows, but it dropped to the ground long, heavy seconds later. He licked his lips and looked over at Shin.

... [Sorry dudes, FADE TO BLACK HERE; TOO LAZY TO SMOOTHLY SEGUE]

Shin got to his feet, ignoring the twinge of discomfort of his half-hard dick in tight briefs, and bent over to press a kiss to Sena's forehead. The sweat there had gone cold, and it wasn't exactly a pleasant sensation on his lips, but the low, contented hum from Sena at the endearing gesture made it worth it.

"I'll run you a bath, too."

"You're too good to me," Sena sighed happily. Shin's expression was serious, even though his mouth had softened.

"Never."

* * *

A/N: KINK LIST USED IN THE DISCUSSION ABOVE

Anal Sex: Topping & Bottoming  
Asphyxiation  
Biting/marking  
Bondage/restraints  
Collars  
Coming Untouched  
Crossdressing/[Panty Kink/Lingerie Kink]  
Docking  
Oral Fixation  
Orgasm Delay/Denial  
Prostate Stimulation/Orgasm  
Public/Semi-Public Sex  
Rape-play/fantasy; noncon/dubcon  
Rimming  
Scat  
Somnophilia  
Sounding  
Temperature Play  
Toys  
Voyuerism  
Watersports

Firstly, these are NOT my personal opinions of some of these kinks (most notably, I fucking love panty kink/crossdressing OOooo and collars!). These are my personal headcanons for how THESE TWO CHARACTERS would view these things. They are NOT MEANT TO BE KINK-SHAMING. I don't care what kinks y'all have. (Dudes, I'm from Sterek fandom. I've read xenophilia.) If it's done sane, safe, and consensual, then all to the good, have fun and fuck anybody else's shaming. Just remember, these boys are 1) basically virgins, or as I like to say, sex-newbs, 2) for different reasons, relatively uninformed of sexual things so these things are NEW AND SHOCKING to them (Sena admits to watching porn, but he doesn't watch it often, nor even has a variety, and Shin has only seen the occasional porn in the pursuit of RESEARCH, not to get off LOL), and 3) if you don't wanna be shamed for your kinks, the other way works, too; sometimes people are just not going to like things and there's NOTHING wrong with that either!

I'm terrible at dirty talking/praising apparently? I fucking love to read it, but nothing felt RIGHT when I tried to write it. It doesn't help that Shin ain't much of a talker, damn it. I think the actual sex part is good, but fuck words, y'all. (I just proofread, I think it's better than I thought during the process of? ehhhh?)

Lastly, there's a lot of POV switching and narrative written solely for humor's & ease's sake, rather than making any sort of attempt at artistic, well-written, or consistent prose. In other chapters, I would encourage and appreciate being called out on this so I can improve. But not for this chapter, please and thanks and I hope you enjoy.


	21. Colors

**Soulmate AU: what if they were in a world where you only see in black and white… until you meet your soulmate?**

 **A/N: Warning! Underage/slight Dubcon shenanigans: a fourteen year old boy has a non-explicitly-detailed waking-sex-dream and unwittingly pulls a fifteen year old boy into sharing it. I kept the details pretty damn vague, because _reasons_ *ahem*i'malmost30andthiswasawkwardtowrite*ahem* but if it squicks you out more than it did me, here's yo warnin', bruhs.**

 **Also, this is like the Marvel AU chapter. It has NOTHING to do with the plot I've been semi-sorta following in other chapters. Again, this is based on a series that mostly just meshes together, but wasn't really meant to be read/written in a traditional, chronological fashion.**

* * *

Not _everyone_ had a soulmate, and even more never _find_ their soulmate. It was said that more than 60% never found an "other half", either because they just didn't exist or because their paths never ended up crossing in their lifetime.

His parents weren't soulmates. They, like so many others, had never seen colors. They had waited until their early thirties, then finally given up and gone to a "marriage mart". They'd expected to just settle, or maybe just give up entirely, but had met each other instead. Finding each other, his mother liked to say, had been their blessing in disguise. They met and connected and _fallen in love_. It was a sweet, typical, normal story.

But there was still that 40-odd percent of the human race that managed, despite all odds and percentages, to find their perfect mate. Forty percent of the world saw it in its full, glorious spectrum. They saw colors without names, sunsets and sunrises, oceans and mountains and flowers and _rainbows_. The dazzling and subtle hues that were unseen by so many.

And he, Sena Kobayakawa, gopher extraordinaire, was one of the lucky 40%.

…

… Kind of.

There had been… a _complication_ six years ago. A complication that was simply— _Sena had no idea who his soulmate was_.

* * *

Shin Seijuuro had always been a serious boy. He never lied. He never even _hedged_ the truth. He was blunt to the point of being rude, but he was also kind. He never teased or bullied. Never judged or found people wanting.

He was a serious, no-nonsense little boy with a resting face of a serial killer. By the time he was four. His father joked that all the severity he lacked had been passed down to Seijuuro. His mother would just smile, shake her head, and smooth his hair away to kiss his forehead and call him her handsome little knight.

So when he came home one day, sat down in the parlor with his parents, hands clasped to his knees, and said, "I found my Soulmate today," both of them immediately believed him.

There was a long moment of startled silence, no doubt about that, but they quickly leapt to their feet and covered him in embraces and kisses and congratulations in their own unique fashion—his father exuberantly, his mother elegantly.

"A Soulmate at only ten years old! Not even eleven yet! That's marvelous!" Seisuke had bellowed and slapped Seijuuro's back.

"Whoever they are, I'm sure they're absolutely perfect for you, dear. We'll have to set up a dinner right away and welcome them into the family," Juuri added as she clasped Seijuuro's hands in his.

"I lost him."

Silence reigned once more as both Shin parents stared at him blankly.

"Y-You lost him, dear?" Juuro asked.

"He was running one way, and I was running the other. By the time I realized what I was seeing, he was gone," Seijuuro explained bluntly. For a moment, uncertainty flickered across his features and something small and sad darkened his already dark eyes. "I… I couldn't _see_ him anymore, Mama. I can't… I can't _see_ him."

Seisuke smoothed his fingers over his mustache to cover the trembling of his lips. Seisuke could remember all too clearly the first time Seijuuro had said those words, in that tone. The long ago terrifying, heart-breaking day he got lost in a mall and finally admitted he couldn't remember their faces once he looked away. Juuri had been saying for years they should take him to see a doctor, but Seisuke always thought he'd grow out of it. One day, Seijuuro, his brilliant, serious, little man, would _surely_ be able to figure out how to _see faces_. Everyone could! And because of Seisuke's stubbornness, his lovely wife had given up her fulfilling career and now. _Now_. He turned away, shame bearing down his shoulders. Too ashamed to comfort his son or face his wife again.

"Oh, Seijuuro, dear, we'll find him. I promise, my sweet boy, we'll find him," Juuri was whispering to Seijuuro, holding him close enough he was half on her lap, her cheek resting on the crown of his head.

Seijuuro's eyes slid closed and he sank into his mother's hold, breathing in the familiar scents of her perfume and silk clothes. If mother said it'd be okay, then he'd believe her. He would be strong and optimistic so mother wouldn't worry.

Surely, it wouldn't be too hard to find another little boy like him with a missing Soulmate?

… (Second Year)

Sena fell into bed with a tired sigh. Just another day of hell. Another day of bullies that he ran errands for, just to dodge too-meaty fists _barely_. Another day of Mamori-neechan having to chase them away for him and discreetly wiping away snot and tears. Sure, he could run now, but he wasn't half as fast as Rikku-kun had been. And sometimes…

Sometimes he would get distracted and forget to be _cautious_.

Two years later and the colors still _startled_ him. Beautiful, heart-wrenching colors. The blaze of green turf, the tepid brackish grey-brown of the canals, and the flash of scarlet shop awnings. The colors gave him headaches the first few months, but now they just dazzled him and he could appreciate them without residual pain.

These day, though, it wasn't just colors distracted. Today actually… it'd been…well, it'd been different. The Spectrumist he'd been seeing since he was nine had told him that the symptoms would gradually increase over time if they couldn't find his Other Half, but there would be no telling just how many he'd be affected by, when, or how severe, thanks to the strangeness of the situation. He hadn't fully understood it _then_ , and he could barely understand it now. However, he _did_ finally get what had been happening the past few weeks.

Sena rolled over to stare up and his ceiling, hand twisting into the loose fabric of his tee shirt over his belly. As if he could calm the roiling, twisting mess inside him by touch. During lunch, when he'd been cowering in his newest hiding spot, too embarrassed and guilty to bother Mamori-neechan _again_ for company when she had so many other, better friends, he'd felt… something strange. Something like… _concern_. Just out of nowhere, a warm, bubbling concern that he knew was directed towards him. The yawning ache of loneliness in his gut had eased for a moment at the tentative press of _caring_ just behind his breastbone.

Like a hand pressed to his heart. Reassuring and warm and _strong_.

Somehow, despite their terrible, stupid distance, his soulmate had felt what he'd felt and had reached out.

He had been so terrified and exhilarated at once, that he hadn't noticed the approaching footsteps. Which was how, of course, the same bullies he had been hiding from managed to box him into a corner and toss him around before he could get to his feet and start running. He'd never understand the need to hurt people for fun, would never understand how making someone cry just because they were smaller or timid or even _smarter_ \- though that wasn't really true for _him_ \- could make someone else feel _good_. But he didn't need to understand for him to be the victim of it.

 _You think you're so special 'cuz you're a little fast and can see colors, huh?_

 _You think you're so much better than everyone else, twitching and jumping around and telling teachers what's blue, but you're just a whiny little baby._

 _I bet he's lying._

 _Are you lying Kobakaya? Where's your_ soulmate _at, uh?_

 _Didn't you hear, special little snowflake Kobayaya_ lost _his soulmate!_

The laughter grated more than the continually wrong name. They hadn't even bothered to care about who he was before hating him.

 _Ha! I bet that's not what_ really _happened. I bet his soulmate took one look at_ him _and ran away!_

It didn't just grate this time. It was like being _stabbed_ by their laughter. He barely even noticed them pushing him down, or his face clocking against a wall. Didn't care that they all gasped, threatened to _really_ hurt him if he told, and ran away in fear of what their own actions had caused. Sena had spent the rest of the school day with his chin tucked close to his chest to hide the darkening bruise around his eye, and feeling the here-and-again flashes of distress that wasn't his own.

Maybe those boys had been right. Maybe his soulmate _did_ see his face almost two years ago? Maybe they had seen the skinny, worthless, tiny _coward_ Sena was and kept walking? And now, today, he and his soulmate were _connecting_ , sharing _feelings_ , filling in their void between them, and his soulmate's first new impression of Sena was of fear and loneliness.

Proving their choice had been the right one after all.

Sena curled up on his side, hands clenching against his belly, teeth gritting hard enough to squeak and crack, as he sobbed into his comforter.

 _I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm all you've got. I'm so sorry it's me_.

…

Shin was only 12 years old. Just barely had his birthday even, so he still felt a little bit like an eleven year old still.

But he'd wanted to punch something. Punch something so hard it busted apart.

Or maybe he wanted to fix something. Watch something broken and shattered come back together in his hands.

Instead he _ran_. Sweat poured down his face, his clothes stuck to his reed-like frame, his legs trembled and his breath rasped out of his sandpaper throat. The track practice had already ended, but he'd convinced his coach to let him stay behind. Hoshino, his family's butler-cum-driver-cum-whatever-else-needed-done-including-babysitting-a-little-bit, was there. Sitting neatly on the bleachers in his perfectly tailored and pressed black suit. Koujou Primary had security guards on rotation 24/7 and at every entrance, just in case. He'd be perfectly safe doing a couple more laps after practice.

A couple turned into a dozen.

And then twenty.

And then thirty.

He couldn't stop, though. Even as his vision darkened and his gait began to wobble. Even as his stomach growled angrily and his chest began to _hurt_.

Because that pain was nothing to whatever his soulmate was going through. Shin was a solitary boy, always had been. But he'd also always had a friend, at least one. He had classmates and teachers who cared about his well-being. He had a loving mother, a overbearingly doting father, and a constant flux of household staff that treated him like a nephew or a little cousin rather than just the son of their employer. Hoshino, especially, had always felt like a wise and kind uncle, who asked about Shin's day and congratulated him on his homework and grades just as proudly as his parents did. So while Shin liked to be alone and spend time apart from people for hours at a time, he was never… he'd never felt _lonely_.

Until today at lunch, when he had frozen over his bento, hand trembling and eyes welling with tears, at the _aching hole_ inside him. It had taken him so offguard, he could barely control his own body's reaction. It had taken a whole 30 seconds of careful breathing patterns and repetitive finger-counting—techniques his therapist had taught him years ago to survive through his childhood panic attacks— before he had calmed down enough to realize it _wasn't his loneliness_.

For a second, the lonely feeling had stuttered with amazement, only to be replace with fear and lastly, mind-bogglingly, with _guilt_. A guilt that had stuck around till past school hours, past practice, to now, a guilt that burned in his chest even as the loneliness gnawed at him, returning with a gut-wrenching strength.

And he couldn't _do_ anything. He couldn't help his soulmate. He knew it was a little boy like him. A little boy with fast feet and a faster smile that he couldn't remember. Just the glowing warmth it had filled him with as the sky blazed with blue. He could do nothing to help that little boy who needed him. If he wasn't broken, if he was faster or stronger or better, Shin could've gone after him, could've found him, could've remember his face or the name the other boy had called out.

Instead, his soulmate was all alone and scared and guilty and Shin could only _feel_. He couldn't hug him like his father did when he woke up from a nightmare of faceless people, he couldn't run his fingers through his soulmate's hair and hum him a lullaby like his mother used to do until he could breathe again. He couldn't put his hand on his soulmate's shoulder and squeeze affectionately like Hoshino did when Shin brought home a glowing report card or gave a homeless person whatever yenn he had in his pocket instead of spending it on his favorite mango ice cream that day. He couldn't make his soulmate feel _better_.

And it was all his fault.

The last breath ripped out of him and he stumbled, legs water and lungs never quite getting enough air. Arms wrapped around him, familiar, _safe_ arms and he clutched at them, breathing in the scent of his father's cologne and feeling the whiskers scratching at his temple.

"Son, it's time to come home."

"I should have called you sooner, sir, please forgive me," Hoshino was murmuring softly.

"You called. That's all that matters, Hoshino. Come on, now, big boy, let's go," Seisuke said, grunting as he hefted his pre-teen son up into a cradle close to his broad chest. He stumbled a bit, then chuckled, the noise a rumbling burr under Shin's ear. "I won't be able to do this anymore much longer. You're almost a man now, Seijuuro."

But Shin was already out cold, tears mixing with the cold sweat on his face, sobs that weren't his echoing in his head.

… (Third year)

His third year of being "Halved" was already half-done- _ha, half_ \- and Sena was sitting in a waiting room of an all-too-familiar clinic. There was an older couple, holding hands and looking content and obviously husband and wife if their matching gold bands said anything; there was a very uncomfortable-looking teenager with an older shell-shocked twenty-something-year old; and there were two girls, barely eighteen or nineteen, giggling and touching each other's faces and hands and clothes, oohing and awwing over the bright new colors around them while also oohing and awwing over each other.

Sena kicked his heel against the leg of his chair petulantly. Even the grumpy 20-year-old with the teenage boy that wouldn't stay still were better off than _him_. At least they were gonna work through their issues together. He was stuck here, alone, in this paid-for-by-the-federal-welfare clinic, smelling cheap coffee and heavy cleaning products fumes with his mother. And Pitt.

He looked down and stroked the tiny kitten's back, eliciting a machine-grating-loud purr that had Sena smiling. Something he _never_ did in this place. Last month the therapist, specializing in Spectrology, had suggested getting a pet for Sena if the option were viable. The one good thing that had come out of the past 3 years, Sena supposed, gently stroking her twitching little ears and up the bridge of her wee little nose between her eyes and over her tiny head.

"Kobayakawa?" called out a soft voice. Sena started in his chair, Pitt crying out softly in annoyance at his abrupt movement. The attendant smiled kindly at him. "She's ready for you now."

Sena gulped audibly, but nodded and got to his feet, his mother beside him.

The appointment went as it usually did, with simple tests for his color-sight, questions about the emotion-bleed-through, how he was dealing with pressures at school (he tended to stutter and hedge a bit with that, focusing more on his relationship with Mamori-neechan than anything else with anxious darting glances towards his mother), though today a few more questions were added about Pitt and how her presence was affecting him and his emotional instabilities, as she called them.

The doctor had no idea it was _his own emotions_ he'd been having problems with, not the bleed-through from his soulmate. He'd sort of… accidentally led her to that assumption and hadn't… fixed it.

They were coming close to the end of his appointment, and as much as he was twitchy and desperate to know, he was dreading saying anything. Relief was winning over desperation as their time began to tick down. Until the dreaded question slammed down between them like a hammer- to Sena, anyway.

"Have you developed any other symptoms or issues we need to discuss, Kobayakawa-kun?"

Blood drained from his head, making him dizzy and woozy, and his hand on Pitt's back stilled. Her tiny claws kneading into his thigh startled him out of his tongue-tied silence.

"Ah! Uh. Um," Sena stammered and fidgeted, wincing and freezing when Pitt yowled unhappily. "It's um… well, I had. A dream?" Sena said cautiously, eyes stuck on the ground.

The therapist immediately sat up a little straighter, brown eyes keen and fingers tapping against her notebook once, twice, then stilling. Beside him, his mother gasped, her plump hand covering her mouth.

"A dream," the doctor said encouragingly.

"It… It wasn't mine. I'm _sure_ it wasn't mine. They were all in a place I'd never seen before. I think it was a school, maybe? It was a very fancy looking place, with flowers and pretty painted pictures on the walls and everyone was wearing nice clothes, but…" Sena trailed off, shaking slightly as he lifted Pitt up and cuddled her close to his cheek, eyes shuttering closed.

"Kobayakawa-kun, this could be helpful to finding your Other Half. Please, as much as you can remember would be helping _you both_ ," the doctor said kindly, but firmly.

Sena pressed his nose to Pitt's soft fur, swallowing down the welling up doubt. His soulmate wouldn't be better _with_ Sena in his life. Sena would just be a burden to him like he was to Mamori-neechan and his parents, no matter how much they loved him. He knew they did, but that didn't make him less a disappointment. But he remembered the dream, the shocking quality of it that had him falling off his bed onto the floor, as if he'd been trying to run _out_ of the nightmare.

"They didn't have faces. None of them had _faces_ ," Sena whispered in horrified bewilderment. "I kept looking around and staring and _staring_ and I could hear their voices and they kept waving and there'd be a smile or laughing, but I couldn't… I couldn't see any faces. I didn't know their names and I felt… I felt trapped. Like I couldn't breathe anymore. So I started running, and running, and then I was on a track and there was no one else. Except this little boy ahead of me. I got up to him and… he smiled and I think… I think I saw _me_ , but I didn't… I didn't have a face either," Sena barreled on, eyes squeezed shut and body shuddering. "I couldn't _see me_."

"Oh, Sena, my baby," Mihae exclaimed, aghast, before pulling both him and his kitten into her arms. His breath broke out of him into a sad little cry.

"I think it was… _theirs_ , right? That wasn't my dream, that was _theirs_. They couldn't see my face, they couldn't see _anyone's face_ and they were _scared_ , Mama," Sena wheezed, fingers clutching at the back of her dress. "I couldn't do anything. I couldn't change the dream. I couldn't talk. And they just kept _running_."

The doctor patiently waited for the sobs to subside, handing over some tissues and breathing obviously and slowly where she crouched in front of him. His mother copied the doctor and, together, he managed to slowly pull himself back, matching their breathing pattern as he calmed. He sat up on his own, blowing his nose and swiping at his eyes with the tissues, while the doctor returned her chair, eyes concerned and almost guilty.

"We don't really have a lot of time left, I'm afraid. I would like to discuss it a bit more with you when you've had a bit more time to digest it, but we won't be able to today. Just know that it's perfectly normal to Share dreams, good and bad, with your Other Half, Kobayakawa-kun. The more intense the dream, the more likely you are to Share it. I see it's not something you like discussing aloud with your parents, however," the doctor said, with a curious look towards his mother.

Mihae shook her head sadly, rubbing her hand up and down Sena's shaking back. "No, he hasn't said a word to us."

Sena ducked his head, guilty and ashamed.

"It's all right to want to keep somethings to yourself for awhile, especially if they confuse you and have to do with your soulmate. It's an intensely private and personal experience. It could feel like a betrayal of their trust to tell others," the doctor said, her voice still that kind, soft tone that had his tension easing moments later.

"Yeah… yeah it did," Sena mumbled.

"The problem is that it's not good to keep it all bottled inside if it makes you feel bad, or if you're scared. So here's a pretty popular compromise. I had it ready for the day this would happen, if it did," she said with a bright smile. She hurriedly searched through a drawer in the small stand next to her, and pulled out a paperbound notebook. It was simple and rather thin with a bright purple cover. He couldn't help but smooth his fingertips over the rich, dark color in awe. Red and blues and yellows were the most common colors he saw. But sometimes he saw flashes of colors like purple or orange or even green. They always took his breath away. He wanted to cry again when it faded to grey. "It's a dream journal. The dreams you Share, write them down in the mornings. You can let one of your parents, or even just me, read it, just so you won't have to deal with the fallout of the more intense dreams alone. We're here to help you, Kobayakawa-kun. Do please try and let us."

Sena gaped up at the doctor, mouth working uselessly. Slowly, he nodded and tucked the notebook close to his chest with one arm. With the other, he took back Pitt from his mother so she could pick up her purse and get to her feet.

"Same time next month, _sensei_?" Mihae confirmed, somewhat unnecessarily. The doctor nodded resolutely.

"Indeed. Also, happy birthday, Kobayakawa-kun. I hear you're turning twelve next week. Have a good time."

Sena blushed beet-red, and nodded. A little surge of happiness broke through the heavy weight of confusion because of her simple, kind words. He left the clinic feeling a little more buoyant than he'd expected.

Not that it lasted long. A week later, the simple kindness of the doctor's words _then_ meant next to nothing when _now_ he was sitting alone in his living room, playing with Pitt and one of her new cat toys. His lips wobbled on a smile as she scrabbled over the wooden floors after the little fuzzy-bit at the end of the whip-like-stick. Behind him, he could hear the low, anxious murmurs of his parents in the kitchen. Where his giant cake, baked by his mother, was sitting on the table.

Birthday cake waiting to be eaten by guests that never showed up.

"I'd share with you if I could, Pittko," Sena whispered, almost giggling as her tiny tail whipped through the air and almost overbalanced her.

"Sena, where are y- Oh! There you are! Are you sure you don't want to call your friends and see if they got the time wrong?" Mihae asked brightly with a smile that didn't quite meet her dark eyes.

 _Brown_. His mama's eyes were _brown_ like his. His father's eyes were darker, black rather than brown, he remembered. He was shaking his head at his mother's suggestion.

"No, mother, it's okay. I think I'd like to go lie down. I'm feeling kinda tired," Sena demurred politely, setting the cat toy back in its box and sweeping Pitt up into an embrace. The kitten immediately rubbed her head under his chin and began to knead at his collarbones.

Mihae and Shuuma exchanged glances that Sena pretended not to see. The newly-minted twelve-year-old trudged up the stairs to his room, sunk onto his bed, and stared down at the kitten in his hands. When she began to struggle, tired of being confined, he set her down on his bed, and slowly lay down, turning over and curled into a loose-C-shape to watch her struggle over the hills and wrinkles of his bedcovers on her tiny, unbalanced legs. He felt it again, like he had last year. That twinge behind his sternum of distress and concern from his soulmate.

Reaching up, he pressed his palm to where the tug felt strongest and closed his eyes.

"I wish you were here. I wish you were my friend," he whispered. Whiskers tickled his nose and had him sputtering out a laugh. "At least I have you, huh, Pittko? Just me and you. You're the best friend I could've asked for."

"What, you've replaced me already, Sena-kun?" demanded an amused, sweetly-motherish voice from behind him.

Sena rolled over, Pitt in his hands, and sat up all in one movement, gaping and grinning.

"You came?! But I thought you went with your mother to Kyoto for the weekend!" Sena protested in delighted surprise. Mamori harrumphed with an eyeroll.

"Kyoto for just a day and half is a _pain_. I'd rather wait for a _real_ vacation and stay for a couple days. Mother only needed to go for a meeting, anyway. I demanded to stay behind so I could celebrate with you. I'm spending the whole weekend here instead!" Mamori announced, arms thrown open wide and blue eyes bright and shining over her grin. The pink scarf around her next made her whole face softer and sweeter somehow.

The colors, along with the relief behind his breastbone, and the bright happy presence that was his best friend, his _only_ friend, giving up a day in Kyoto for _him_ , had tears swimming in his eyes.

" _Thank you, Mamori-neechan!"_ Sena exhaled, barreling across his room to throw himself into her hug. He'd been trying so hard to be a big kid, to not need her so much, to not cuddle like a baby, but it was his birthday and he would cuddle if he wanted to.

"So I heard that was a Mama Kobayakawa specialty cake waiting downstairs and I'm _dying_ for it. Let's go stuff our faces and play some games. I brought our favorites from my house," Mamori suggested, rubbing her cheek against the fluffy crown of his head. Sena sighed happily. She smelled like green tea and flowers and something uniquely _Mamori_ that never failed to make him smile.

"Okay. But no trivia games this time! I think you made my dad cry last time, and you were a team all by yourself!" Sena warned, laughing as he followed her down the stairs.

"Ha! Your father is weak!"

"I heard that!" Shuuma called out, laughing just as brightly. Maybe _too_ brightly.

Mamori always brought the sunshine with her. Or more like, she brought out the sunshine in _Sena_ , which had been so dim these past few years. Seeing him bright-eyed and cheeks-flushed, holding Pitt like he used to hold his teddy bear and stuffing his face with too-large-bites of cake went a long way to reminding his parents of the joy he used to exude. They were privately _fervently_ glad that Mamori would be staying the whole weekend.

…

Shin sat on the bench, turning the strange helmet over and over in his hands, pensive and anxious. He'd gotten a better handle on his dreams this year, but the feelings that bled-through from his soulmate were getting stronger, happening more often, every day. Next to him, Sakuraba stretched out his long limbs, light amber eyes fixed on the sky above them.

"So what do you think about amefuto, Shin-san? Having fun yet?" Sakuraba asked curiously. He winced at the particularly loud crashing sounds of third-year-middle-schoolers throwing themselves at each other on the field.

"I like it better than track or soccer. I enjoy the exertion and intense training."

Sakuraba grimaced outside of Shin's line of sight. "Shin-san, I think you're the only one who's _that_ intense during training. We're only first year _middle schoolers_. We won't even play against other schools until next year, and only for scrimmages and inter-school competition. We won't do _actual_ tournaments until senior high. You don't have to try so hard right now, you know," Sakuraba pointed out, despairingly but fondly at the same time.

Sakuraba's reactions to Shin were multi-faceted and confusing to Shin. While he'd had classmates and reoccurring acquaintances before, Sakuraba had somehow become a true _friend_ in the past few months they'd been classmates. Despite this, however, Sakuraba hadn't quite come to understand Shin or Shin's drive to be more, to be better, to be _perfect_ at what he did. For so many reasons.

One the biggest being the reason he was currently gripping the face-guard on his helmet too hard, knuckles white inside his gloves, as that heart-splitting loneliness reared its ugly head.

"It doesn't matter. One should never do anything with half a heart. True satisfaction comes from achieving your greatest potential at all times," Shin stated sternly, frown creasing lines deep into the sides of his mouth. Sakuraba stared at him, bright eyes blinking dumbfoundedly.

"Are you sure you're a first year?"

It was Shin's turn to stare. "You're in my class."

Sakuraba curled over himself a little, fist in front of his mouth and light hair, almost blonde it was so light brown, falling over his forehead. "Sorry, Shin-san. I was just joking with you. You're just… very surprising sometimes."

"First years! You're up! Get your baby butts out on the track and start running. FULL GEAR!" Coach Shouji roared with arms crossed over his chest, Takami at his side with a stopwatch in his hands. Shin grimly shoved his helmet over his head as Sakuraba grumbled good-naturedly beside him.

Running. Running he could do. Running he could do _well_. With Shouji's coaching, Shin was reasonably sure he could do better, too. One day, maybe he'd be fast enough to catch that boy at last.

… (Fourth Year)

Sena's first year of middle school started off with a bang.

To his nose.

"O-Oh, s-sorry, I d-didn't-" his stammering broke off as hands grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him off his feet. While most of his classmates had gotten their growth spurts over the winter vacation, Sena was still as wimpy and tiny as he'd been for the past four years. Okay, maybe a couple centimeters difference, but not a whole lot, nothing _drastic_.

Unlike the behemoth who was holding him off the ground with the strength of his arms alone. Light eyes under bleached blonde hair- was it bleached though?- and a cross-shaped scar on his cheek made up the boy in front of Sena. A quick glance at his school badge showed he was in the same year as _Sena_ , he wasn't even a third year.

"Why don't you watch where you're goin', pipsqueak," growled the bigger, if not older, boy. Sena crumpled unceremoniously to the ground as the student dropped him and coldly walked away. His two friends followed after, one snickering and the other nose-deep in a Jump issue.

"Sena-kun?! Sena-kun, where are- Oh! There you are! What are you doing on the ground, silly? You'll dirty up your new uniform and you look so spiffy," Mamori-neechan tsked, hefting him to his feet with one arm- to his inwardly cringing dismay- and began to dust off his slacks.

"Eh! Eh! Mamori-neechan! I can do that myself!" Sena yelped, hands flailing and face red. Mamori backed away, arms crossing over her chest- er, _under_ a new swelling of her chest area that Sena deliberately looked away from, even redder ( _when did Mamori-neechan get_ those!?) _-_ and pouted, cheeks puffing in irritation.

"Did someone knock you down, Sena-kun? Your books are all over the ground!"

Sena blinked at her, then looked down to see that, yes, his shoulder-bag had indeed fallen to the ground and everything inside was spilling out over the tiled hallway. With a yelp, Sena fell back to his knees- ignoring the indignant warning from Mamori-neechan on the condition of his knees and pants- and hurriedly stuffed everything back in his bag.

"It was nothing. Just me being clumsy, moving too fast and not looking far enough ahead. I'm fine."

"Hm, sometimes I wish Rikku-kun hadn't taught you to run. Then this wouldn't happen so much," Mamori sighed, a hand cupping one cheek and consternation written clear across her features.

Sena popped back up, eyes blazing and hands clenched in fists. "No, Mamori-neechan! Don't say that!" Her light eyes- flashing bright blue for a heartbeat's worth of time- widened and her mouth fell open in shock. Blood rushed back to his cheeks and he fumbled with his bag's clasp. "I-I just m-mean th-that l-learning to r-run has r-really helped. I c-can get away f-faster and the o-others d-don't- they're n-not so m-mean if I h-help them a l-little."

"You mean be their gopher, Sena-kun," Mamori pointed out sadly. Sena shrugged uncomfortably. They both knew what he wasn't saying: it was better than getting punched… or worse. Sena hated it when she looked at him _like that_. Pity and guilt in her eyes.

"Besides, it's all I have left of Rikku-kun. And he… he was the only other friend I've ever had," Sena whispered softly. Mamori's face fell into lines of genuine sadness. She knew better than to hug him in the middle of the hallway, but she wished she could.

"That's not true, Sena-kun! You have your soulmate. They're your friend. They're your _best friend_. You'll always have them, even if you aren't together yet," Mamori pointed out brightly. She swung around, grin with pasted over her lips. "Now, why don't you let me show you your classroom, okay? I remember exactly how to get there from last year. Ako-chan was in that classroom so I was there all the time."

Sena sighed in relief and followed her gratefully.

…

Across Tokyo, a few weeks after his second year in Oujou Middle had begun, Shin's pencil fell from nerveless fingers. Luckily, he was in study hall, his last class of the day before practice. The huge library swallowed up the sounds of his pencil clattering to the floor rather than echoing. Most of the classmates were fiddling with the strange glowing devices in their hands instead of doing their classwork, so they didn't notice Shin get to his feet, arms shaking and heartbeat erratic. He needed to get to the nurse's office. Something was… something was happening. Was… was his soulmate _dying_? he wondered in terrified bewilderment. His heartbeat was only going faster and _faster_ , like a rabbit being hunted by wolves. His chair clattered to the ground as he pushed away, legs wobbly and breath suddenly shallow and rapid. This time, they actually did look up, and while some gave him strangely wide-eyed stares, a few others displayed some motions of concern, half-rising or lifting an arm in his direction. He shook his head and staggered to the door.

He couldn't let anyone know. Not even Sakuraba knew. Only the school nurse and headmaster and his coach knew, people in charge of him and his wellbeing only.

Too bad he couldn't make it that far. The blow to the base of his spine had him crumpling to the ground and he barely managed to drag himself between an ornate stone water fountain and a bank of lockers before the shudders truly began. Panic was searing through his brain and he just wanted to curl into a ball, close his eyes, and disappear. No matter what he did, however, the panic, and the pain kept _going_.

It's _him_. It's _him_. Someone's hurting _him!_ Shin realized, eyes widened as he wheezed. He clenched his teeth and fists, fingernails biting into the palms of his hands, as a blow to his leg and stomach had him almost gagging. Someone was hurting _him._ Shin should be there! He should be protecting him! He could do it! He was stronger and faster now. He could help his soulmate. It was what he was meant to do!

The pain disappeared as suddenly as it began, and somewhere in the panic and pain, now radiating from around his right eye and nose as well, and overwhelming _fear,_ he felt disgust and… self… loathing?

"N-No," Shin murmured. He pressed his hand to his heart and closed his eyes. _No, it's okay. Don't think like that. It's not your fault_. Slowly, he breathed as his therapist had taught him, something he hadn't need in over two years, and hummed under his breath.

There was a burst of surprise and then… something like awe. Warmth, weak and small, bloomed behind his breastbone and the fear began to ebb away. Stoking that warmth was easy enough, he just let his head fall back and remembered his mother doing the same, imagined he was wherever his Half was, running his fingers through their hair and humming softly just like she'd done. _It's okay. You don't have to be afraid. I'm here now_ , he echoed his mother's words, poured all of the caring and love she'd given him into that warmth in his chest and felt it grow.

The bell rang and people were crowding the hallways, celebrating the end of classes. But Shin ignored it for the sake of feeling pain become something like contentment and _gratitude_. Inside his head, he could hear the melody humming back to him, a beat or two behind, stuttering at the changes, but humming nonetheless.

He had no idea if his soulmate had heard his words. But he felt the meaning behind them, and he had heard the tune. And that would be enough for now.

…

The only reason Sena made it all the way home that day was because of the soothing tune in his head and the bright spot of warmth in his chest. Limping he may be, but he made it home and even snuck upstairs to shower and change all without his parents seeing him, humming quietly a song he had never heard before. He paused in front of the bathroom sink, wincing at the dark swelling around his eye.

"I guess I'll just have to be even faster. They can't hurt me if they can't catch me," Sena vowed stoutly, lighthearted more than he probably should be with an obvious shiner and over-protective parents to face. He just couldn't help but feel _better_ with his connection to his soulmate so… _tangible_ in a way. He'd find a way to make sure his soulmate never felt his pain again, never felt his fear or his cowardice. Sena would run just like Rikku-kun had taught him and it'd be okay. Soon.

He set his alarm for almost two hours early than he normally did and dug up his old running shoes. Hopefully they wouldn't fit too badly. He could get new ones after saving up his allowance a bit. He was smiling, a small smile to avoid re-opening his split lip, as he hobble-skipped his way downstairs.

… (Fifth Year)

Shin yanked his helmet off his head and poured water over his sweaty hair. It was only March, but the day was hot and _humid_. In front of him, the heaps of weary, sweaty, disenchanted substitutes of Deimon Devilbats were wheezing and gasping for air. Only two were still standing. Well, one was sort of doubled over on himself, tears leaking down his round, placid face before he threw back his head and _howled_ his misery. The angry-looking one had his fists propped on his hips and his strangely pointy teeth-bared. He looked like a wild animal, a cornered wild animal, fiercely nursing an injury he didn't want anyone else to see. Hiding it away so as not to be exploited.

Shin almost felt pity, but he didn't have time for that. Besides, a boy like this… Hiruma… wouldn't appreciate such feelings.

The gentle caress of worry at the back of his mind reminded him he had things to do. He bowed towards the Deimon team with the rest of _his_ team. Then, turned to go, grunting at the hard blow to his upper back by Ootawara. Luckily, the past few months as his teammate and classmate had inured him against buckling under Ootawara's unchecked gestures of exuberance.

"Hey, you bastard. You really didn't hold yourself back."

"Shin-san, I think Hiruma-san is talking to you," Sakuraba whispered, looking a little terrified and a _lot_ exhausted.

Shin would talk to Takami about upping Sakuraba's stamina regiment. He was far too winded for the minute amount of work he put into his plays. He turned towards Hiruma, the Deimon student, who looked especially strange and pointy, what an odd looking first year, and felt his eyebrow curve high up on his forehead.

"Even if the team is a new one, if I get haughty, then some day I'll definitely get beaten. For example, if a player running at light speed were to appear, I wouldn't be able to touch him. All of my strength wouldn't help..." Shin clenched his fists, staring down at his hands. _Just as strength isn't enough now to catch him..._

"Kekeke, then I'll bring one."

Shin glanced back over at the smirking and weary faced Deimon player. His expression was carefully blank, but the challenge surprised him.

"With the number of the lightspeed ace Eyeshield 21, I will bring one to fight you next time," Hiruma stated, somehow _viciously._

Both eyebrows met his hairline, before Shin managed to control his expression again. Sakuraba took a look at Shin's face and winced a little.

"When that time comes, I will crush him with all my strength," Shin vowed, unrelenting. If he couldn't face and then defeat the best, then what was the point? What was the whole point of pushing himself so hard and becoming stronger and faster, if there were someone better? He had to be the _best_.

He had to prove it. To his mother. To his father. And… he placed the heel of his palm to his chest and pressed against that flutter of concern. Beating rapid and soft, like hummingbird wings. He had to prove it to the soulmate he had already let down so many times. Prove that this long wait, and his aching loneliness, wasn't in vain, that Shin was waiting at the end, whenever they finally managed to meet. Shin would be strong enough to make sure he never felt scared or lonely again.

…

Sena worried at his bottom lip while he paced the length of his room, up and down, down and up, zigzagging to break up the monotony or when his legs got tired of the same repetitive motion. From his bed, Pitt lounged and watched him silently, as cats are wont to do. Her black tail swished and her yellow eyes tracked his movements rather eerily, but Sena was too busy biting at his lip or his nails and flinching through some _spectacular_ thuds to his torso and back. When they finally ebbed away, leaving him with the echoing sense of satisfaction and triumph, the tiny not-quite-fourteen year stood stockstill in the middle of his room, eyes widening, as the most horrible thought ever crossed his mind.

 _Was his soulmate a delinquent?!_

He felt like he'd just been in an hour long fight or wrestling match, the scent of grass and sweat tickling at his nose occasionally, and it all ended with a sense of _victory_?! Of a job well done? Either his soulmate was some sort of yankee hoodlum, or they were a _sumo wrestler_.

"I'm gonna die. My soulmate is gonna crush me to death," Sena whimpered in terror, whole body trembling.

Pitt rolled her yellow eyes, totally unimpressed, then rolled over to sunbathe in a new, shinier patch of sunlight. Sena pouted and then threw himself down next to her. She yowled at him, jumped off the bed, and stalked out of the room, tail bottle-brush puffy and ramrod stiff. Sena grumbled under his breath and stared up at the ceiling. He really couldn't picture himself with someone _huge_ or _burly_ or _violent_ or something like that. That's not the kinda person he was. Surely, his soulmate would be kinder, someone quiet like him, who smiled a lot and gave good hugs and would rather sit and read comic books than go outside and _wrestle_ with people for _fun_ , right? Maybe a sweet, nice girl like Mamori-neechan, who could cook with him and laugh when he was clumsy and kissed his cheek goodnight. That'd be nice.

Or maybe a boy? He liked how boys looked. He wouldn't mind if they were taller, most people were taller than him, even girls. But he wouldn't want some scary _macho_ type, with the giant arms and head-crushing hands. Sena shuddered. That was too much like Juumonji-san and _his_ friends. No, maybe he'd have a nice boy with a really kind smile, who was smart and would help him do homework and played the piano so his mother would like him.

Whatever they looked like, Sena was sure they'd be perfect for him. That was the deal, right? He felt his eyes drifting shut, his body curling into a small ball in the patch of sunlight he'd annoyed Pitt out of. They'd have the perfect hugs and the perfect hands and the perfect voice and the perfect smiles, just for Sena. And he'd never say his best friend was a cat- not that he didn't dearly appreciate Pitt, but she was a _cat_ \- or that his best friend was a girl who still licked a handkerchief and used it to clean his face during lunch.

No, his soulmate was much better than that…

…

Showering was a perfunctory activity. Even surrounded by a bunch of hormonal wound-up teenage boys, Shin ignored the goofing off and the towel snapping, and the others tended to move cautiously around him. They didn't know he already had a soulmate, of course, but he supposed his serious demeanor warned them off. Sakuraba said it was the murderous scowl in anyone's direction who came too close, but Shin had never felt murderous in his life. …except when he thought about those few times his soulmate was curled up in a ball somewhere getting _kicked_. _Then_ , he felt particularly murderous. But never in his locker room or towards his fellow teammates. That wasn't very sportsmanlike.

Seeing as he was usually the last off the field- he tended to do 5km run and 20 minute stretch routine to cool down after every game- he was almost always the last in the showers, too.

Today was the first time he was fervently grateful for that. He felt something hot building in his gut for a while now, but he thought it was just the usual post-game adrenaline. After his uniform was thrown into his locker and he'd made his way to the showers, it became _very_ apparent just what was _actually_ happening. Both hands slapped against the stone tiled wall as steaming hot water pounded Shin's back. The distant sounds of the other players in the locker room became indistinct and muffled, all too easily ignored as Shin squeezed his eyes shut and panted harshly. Water dripped down his spine, soaked through his already sweat-damp hair and burned along the corners of his eyes, but it was as distant and muffled a feeling as the sounds of his teammates.

Instead he could taste cotton on his mouth, feel fingernails clawing into the plush give of a pillow, sheets tangled around his legs. Everything was warm and soft and his could feel the firm give of a mattress beneath his hips.

…

Sena sighed, bones like liquid heat and muscles an achy sort of _good_. Water pounded on his back, sinking into the too tense muscles of his body, and steam curled over his bare skin like someone's breath. Someone was panting harshly in his ear, or maybe it was coming from his own mouth. Everything was hazy and ephemeral, a dream made real.

While the friction against the front of his pants felt _so good_ , it also wasn't enough. Whimpering and gasping, he reached down and pressed his hand against where he ached most.

The low-throated groan had him shivering, eyes blinking blearily only to shutter closed again.

If he opened his eyes, the dream would end and the _good_ would stop.

…

Shin felt his hands curl into fists as it hit him like a freight train. The heavy sleepiness that weighed down his limbs and eyes, the awkward stuttering pressure- Shin squeezed his eyes tight and let it play out. He'd had his own dreams like this before, but it had never slipped over into his soulmate's consciousness. They'd never _Shared_ this before and Shin didn't know why it was different now. For Shin, it had been awkward, image-less impressions that had him waking already slicked with cold sweat and _worse_. But maybe… maybe his soulmate was thinking of _him_? Maybe they had been dreaming of _Shin_ while arousal swept through them.

Shin had no idea why that thought had his knees shaking, carefully shorn nails cutting into the palms of his hands as the burning in his belly swept over him.

…

Sena woke with a start, gaze groggy and hips still grinding arrhythmically into his hand and mattress. A horrified blush covered him head to foot even as his body slumped boneless and sated.

 _Thank God I hadn't changed out of my uniform. At least the sheets aren't a mess,_ Sena thought with a humiliated laugh. He groaned while pushing himself up, cautiously looking at his hands that _stung_.

"H-Huh… why…?" Sena murmured, wincing at the gross sticky feeling in his underwear, but focusing on his hands. Nothing… nothing was wrong but he could _feel_ the sharp bites of pain.

Another ripple of _heat_ had him curling over, panting and gasping at the phantom feel of another climax. At the feel of _someone else's_.

His eyes popped open wide, mouth slack and open around wheezes, and he could feel it again. The hot pressure of water on his back, the tickling sensation of it running down his thighs and calves and- _oh god oh god oh god that's not me!_

Shame and disgust had him falling to the ground and scrambling to brace in the corner of his room, fingers digging into hair. _I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I didn't mean to_ \- He thought over and over, knees drawn up to his chest and his face, still flushed and sweaty, pressed to his black slacks.

Wet, cold tile against his equally damp skin had Sena shivering and he _couldn't tell them apart_. It was so hard to pull himself back into his own body, clothed and spent and _horrified_ in his own room rather than what felt like a bathroom in someone else's body.

He could feel reassurance bleeding through, too rapid breaths pointedly slowing, but Sena shook his head frantically, whimpering in shame.

"You've never… _you_ didn't do this, _I_ did, I know it was me. I did something so… so _wrong_. I'm so sorry, so sorry, I'm so sorry!"

He startled, tears falling as a pressure squeezed at his hand. A pressure that wasn't supposed to be there. He dropped his right hand to his knees and stared at it. A hand, larger than his own, was gripping tightly as that… that _melody_ hummed in his mind.

Soothing, reassuring, and _forgiving_.

Sena's fingers twitched around a hand that wasn't there and he let out a broken, raspy laugh.

"Okay, I get it. It's okay," Sena whispered. He lay his cheek on his knees and stared at his empty palm. The fleeting imprint of someone else's hand was gone, but Sena could pretend, if he concentrated, that the feeling was still there. "Of _course_ the first time _that_ ever happens, I drag my soulmate into it. Just my luck," Sena sighed wryly.

For the first time, Sena had some idea that maybe his soulmate was _older_. They hadn't seemed all that shocked at what Sena had gone through. He quickly shook away the thought. It was bad enough that he'd dragged his soulmate into his half-awake fantasies. The idea of that his soulmate was some _adult_ getting dragged into a 14-year-old's first forays into puberty was pretty damn disturbing. Sena groaned again and prayed fervently for his soulmate to be another teenager.

…

Shin sighed and ran his hand through his soaked hair. Tilted his head back far enough to knock into cold tile behind him. He was distinctly uncomfortable and quickly getting cold, but he wasn't sure he could stand yet.

It could've been worse. He could've been around a lot of people, instead of relatively alone. He was in the showers so it was easy enough to wash away the evidence. And he was pretty sure he'd managed to calm down his soulmate. He closed his eyes to remember feeling that smaller, trembling hand squeeze back as the panic subsided. His soulmate would probably take pains not to allow something like this to happen again, if the immediate reaction after the fact told Shin anything.

As he stood up to wash up properly, Shin set up his own fervent wish to find his soulmate _soon_. If only to put an end to these inconvenient withdrawal symptoms and to comfort his soulmate better than he could now. He had had no idea if holding his own hand like he would someone else's would work or not, but he'd concentrate on the feeling as hard as he could and it had gotten through. The flicker of amusement and relief had been a sweet victory, even more than today's game. (99-0 was not his idea of a fair game.)

… (Sixth Year)

This was not what Shin wanted. Eight months. Eight months of feeling like there was an empty hole in his chest that ached every time he breathed. Eight months of increasing irritation and shorter temper. He trained harder, pushed himself further, became more and more taciturn. Sleeping was fitful and restless, dreams short and fleeting. Occasionally hearing voices at his school or home that weren't there when he turned to seek out the source.

The worst, though, was that it had been over _eight months_ since he'd last _felt_ anything from his soulmate. Even the colors began to fade faster. So many hues becoming fuzzy memories it had been so long since he'd seen them.

He wanted an end to the symptoms, yes, but _not like this_. He didn't want them to slip away and leave him with the dregs. He didn't want to wake up with hands reaching out into empty air from trying to catch his Other Half in a dream.

Shin was losing his connection to his soulmate and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

…

Sena flinched and gasped, spinning around. He could've sworn he saw… saw a student in a white uniform. With blurred features instead of a face…

"Sena-kun! Are you paying attention? It's time for lunch!" Mamori interrupted cheerfully. He jumped and gawped up at her where she was leaning over the desk and smiling. His first day in Deimon had been an… eventful one, but lunch with Mamori would be nice.

He pushed aside the wistful sadness as her eyes remained a light, toneless grey. Not the pretty shining blue he used to see.

"Why are you so sad? You should be excited! You said you made a friend this morning, right?" Mamori prompted eagerly while sitting in front of him and opening up her bento box. He blinked down at the second bento box placed in front of him, wrapped in one of Mamori's raccoon handkerchiefs.

"I have my own lunch, Mamori-neechan," Sena said, holding it up to prove it. Mamori 'pfft'ed.

"You're a growing boy, almost sixteen. You need to eat as much as you can. Now, who was this friend?"

"K-Kurita-senpai?" Sena said hesitantly as he opened both his bentos and sighed at the amount of it all. And missed the sad, yearning look that crossed her face and quickly disappeared.

"I know Kurita-kun! He's a very good person. You haven't… you haven't met anyone else have you?" Mamori asked anxiously.

Sena thought back to the trio that had followed from his middle school to here and quickly shook his head. He _technically_ knew them already, not just met them today. So it wasn't a _lie_. Mamori sighed in relief.

"So when are you going to introduce me?" Sena asked before she could ask _him_ any other questions. He shoved food in his mouth quickly so she had to talk herself instead of turning it around on him.

Mamori blinked, baffled, though. "Introduce you?"

"To your soulmate. You met him last year, right? You said it was complicated, but you'd introduce me when I got into Deimon this year. I got in! Where is he?" Sena asked, cheeks bulging with rice.

Mamori smiled brightly and leaned over to wipe rice away. "It's even more complicated, sadly. He hasn't been himself since his other soulmate left school. We haven't spoken in since last year."

Sena gaped at her. At the look of disgust delicately crinkling her nose, he snapped his mouth shut and swallowed painfully. Ignoring the tears in his eyes from the too large swallow, he leaned forward. "He has _two_ soulmates?! You didn't say that! Why didn't you _tell me_?" the first year all but interrogated, shocked and worried. Mamori shrugged lightly.

"It'll all turn out right in the end. But I know he needs his space right now. I was very good friends with his Other, too. We still talk and I told him I'd keep him updated. I just hope it works out _sooner_ rather than later. There's a reason why he has two of us," Mamori said sadly.

"Wow… but _two soulmates_. That's… that's really rare. And soulmates are already less than half the population," Sena breathed out.

"Eat your meat, Sena-kun. You need it," Mamori ordered briskly. Sena was shoving it in his mouth before he even thought about it. Her mom voice was very effective on him. "What about you? You haven't talked about yours in months, Sena-kun. I'm getting worried about you."

Sena stared down at his bentos, chewing slowing so he could gather the right words to say. Finally he shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. He couldn't meet her eyes, his own shifting off to the side as he chuckled awkwardly. "This'll be the sixth year, you know? I think it's starting to just… _end_. I don't feel their emotions anymore. And even my dreams are pretty rare or, well, they aren't even really dreams much anymore. It's fine. I guess our connection is just… kinda giving up on us."

It hurt saying it out loud like that. That empty place inside him feeling like a _wound_ , bleeding and aching and torn. But he only chuckled and stared down at his chopsticks.

He spluttered as Mamori wrapped her hands around his, completely ignoring the chopsticks. Glancing up, he met her serious eyes over her determined frown.

"Don't you say that, Sena-kun! Don't you give up on your bond. It's important, _so_ important. They're looking for you, whoever they are, so don't you give up on _them_. Promise me, Sena-kun, promise me you won't give up," Mamori demanded fiercely. Sena gulped, but nodded. For a moment, her eyes flashed _blue_.

He wondered if he really saw it or if it was the trick of the light.

Because he had already given up. Sena just had no idea how to tell Mamori that.

…

Pain radiated from every inch of his body. His ribs felt broken, his insides pulp, and his _legs_. Oh wow, his poor _legs_. But he managed to make it across the field, his team's tiny line of exhausted alternates, the weeping Kurita and the stone-faced Hiruma, and _him_. In his eyeshield and his fake reputation. The number 40 seemed to shine in front of him, taunting. The ace Sena had barely managed to defeat. Once.

He bowed, hands clenched in fists, eyes on Shin's feet. Until

"Oujou will be the team that takes parts in the Christmas Bowl," his low, rough voice announced, short and brusque.

Sena blinked and looked up. And just for a fleeting moment, met Shin's dark eyes from behind his eyeshield. He looked… _stern_ and _determined_ , before he turned and walked away with his team. Sena stared after him, blinking rapidly, because suddenly his vision seemed… _different_. He was walking back with his team, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut and blinking, as if his vision would clear if he just blinked _enough_. He heard Mamori calling out his name and hurried around the building to change.

 _Gotta hurry, gotta hur…ry_ His frenzied manta ended the moment he tore off his helmet.

And the world BLAZED with color. He stood, mouth gaping and eyes wide, as green and blue and white and brown and red and _so many colors_ burned across his gaze. Tears slipped down his face, but he couldn't blink anymore. He couldn't chance closing his eyes and _losing_ this.

Only Mamori's voice, the concern rising, and the increasing pitch of growls from Cerberus, broke him from his reverie. He re-dressed in a daze, almost putting his shirt on his legs and his socks on his hands before everything got put on right.

Green. His uniform was _green_. And his tie was _red_. His amefuto uniform was so so _red_. He held it in his shaking hands, his mouth in a wide, tremulous smile. Everything was blurred with tears, but it was all so _colorful_.

"I found you," Sena whispered.

And saying it aloud had reality crashing back down and his heart fell to his toes.

Because there was only one person his soulmate could be.

And he'd just walked away after smashing Sena's face into the turf a thousand times and covering Sena's body with hand-shaped bruises.

 _My soulmate is Shin Seijuuro_.

"Oh my god," Sena whispered.

His helmet fell to the ground with a thud.

…

Sena braced himself against the same stone pillar he'd leaned on a dozen times or more. Carefully, the first year braced himself on the sun-warmed stone and peered around the pillar, teetering on his toes so he could squint through the distance. There! His heart pounded against his breastbone and something like satisfaction filled him. A smile that was probably dopey and drugged spread over his face as he watched the not-quite short with a stocky, broad-shouldered build teenager run at his teammates. They fell like pins, but Sena kept his eyes on the teenager-cum-wrecking-ball.

"So _this_ is where you go? I thought your afternoon jogs took a while."

Sena let out a short scream and almost brained himself on the pillar in front of him.

"Whoa! Dude! Are you okay?!" Monta exclaimed, rushing forward to help Sena sit back up.

"You _sc-scared_ me," Sena protested, rubbing his forehead and shaking like a leaf.

Monta snorted like an unimpressed bull. "I think that's a MAX understatement. You bleedin'?"

"No, I don't think so. HOW DID YOU FIND ME?!" Sena shrieked suddenly, pupils dilating to pinpricks and hands flailing.

Monta braced his fists on his bony hips and preened smugly. "I followed ya, duh."

Sena deadpanned at him, even as his face paled. Monta glanced around and whistled lowly.

"So, this is Oujou? You spying on the enemy? Didn't think you did stuff like that, Kobayakawa. I'm impressed," Monta joked, rubbing his nose and grinning.

Sena started to protest, head already shaking, but then realized that was probably the perfect cover. "Y-Yeah, th-that's it. I'm s-spying."

"Hello, excuse me?" a sweet girlish voice interrupted.

Both boys screamed and latched onto each other in surprise. A girl in an Oujou uniform with a bright orange armband blinked at them. They quickly jumped away from each other and laughed awkwardly.

"S-Sorry! We're j-just l-looking!"

"We totally weren't spying or nothing!"

Sena deadpanned at Monta again.

The girl blinked and then clapped her hands excitedly. "OH! Are you transfers?! We almost _never_ get transfers! You're here to look at the campus, aren't you?!"

Monta and Sena stared at her. Then looked down at themselves. Both were in their training gear, nothing Deimon related on it. They glanced at each other and, without words, agreed to play along.

"Sure thing! We're here on a sports scholarship!" Monta agreed eagerly.

"Oh, fantastic! You'll be staying in the dormitories then! All sports members live in the dormitories Monday through Friday. Though, on game weekends, you'll stay the whole week. Do you have your orientation things?" she asked cheerfully. Monta and Sena blushed and shook their heads. "Not a problem. I'll show you around and tell you all about it."

"Do you think we could… wear the uniforms?" Monta asked slowly.

"Monta-kun!" Sena hissed.

"Oh, yes. You'd both look so precious in them, wouldn't you? You're both so small and cute! Almost all our sports players are so big and buff, I'm…" she trailed off and eyed them with worry. "I'm sure you'll survive if you work hard!" she said decisively. She led them towards the front doors then.

" _We'll survive?_ " Sena repeated hoarsely.

"Just play along. We're gonna look so cool in those uniforms!" Monta grinned eagerly.

The tour of the school took about two _hours_. It was huge and ostentatious. Windows weren't just glass, they were _stained_ glass, the shadows multi-hued and beautiful on the shining grey stone. Suits of armor were gleaming in almost every corner and portraits of donors and alumni in ornate _real gold_ frames hung from walls. A lot of them looked… like there were wearing… _crowns_? Their steps echoed in the cavernous hallways, but their guide's cheery chatter kept it from feeling ominous. The shining white uniforms, that were a little too big for them, made both Monta and Sena walk taller, shoulders back and chins a little higher. As if just the uniform bestowed some sort of pedigree on them.

"And over here? These are the sports dormitories. The girls' dorm is over there, no boys allowed!" Sakiko, their guide, teased with a wink. Monta and Sena both blushed and nodded fervently. "But the boys' is right here. Oh! Look, the amefuto team is just coming up from practice! You said you were here to play track-" Monta was apparently a really good liar sometimes- "but they're our most famous team. The White Knights almost made it all the way to the Christmas Bowl last year, you know! They were called the Golden Era and the whole school knows that Shin-san is the best player in Kantou."

Sena inhaled sharly, heart beating too fast, at the sound of his name. Monta glanced over at him in surprise, only to double-take seeing the blush on Sena's face and his wide eyes searching the upcoming group of giant players.

"We missed the practice. C'mon, we should get going," Monta whispered as Sakiko waved and cheered the amefuto players nearing.

"Y-Yeah," Sena said absently. He froze, body almost thrumming like a plucked string, as Shin finally appeared, jogging at the rear of the group, Takami and Ootawara at his sides. Sakuraba was still in the hospital, Sena remembered. The few times Sena had seen Shin, he'd been with Sakuraba and Ootawara.

He wondered painfully if they were friends. If Shin wanted _Sakuraba_ , famous and handsome _Sakuraba,_ to be his soulmate. He didn't even notice his hand coming up to clench at the fabric directly over his heart.

"Sena?" Monta's voice was tinny and hollow, like an echo at the other side of a tunnel.

Because Shin was approaching, his face stern and frowning, hair shiny and damp from a shower. Spots of his white shirt were translucent from water splotches and the cotton of his short sleeves was stretched too tight over his arms. His black pants made his legs seem longer than they were, but maybe it was just because he was _so close_ and Sena didn't have the stupid eyeshield over his eyes.

 _Oh no!_ Sena felt his heart constrict with panic. _He wasn't wearing the eyeshield_. If Shin looked at him, met his eyes, he'd _know_. Sena pinwheeled backwards, only to slam into Monta. Monta yelped and they began to stumble and flail, trying to regain their balance and not fall even as they kept stepping on each other's toes.

"S-Sorry!" Sena gasped as a hand grabbed the back of his shirt to hold him up. Ootawara was grinning as he set Monta on his own feet.

"Watch what you're doing, little shrimps. You're gonna get run over next time," Ootawara laughed, patting Monta's back so hard he almost toppled into Sena again.

If Ootawara was helping Sena…

"You aren't an Oujou student," rumbled an all too familiar voice at Sena's back.

Sena flinched.

"Not yet we aren't! We're transfers! Just looking around before we move in. We better go though, gotta train to catch back home!" Monta answered when Sena just fish-mouthed at him uselessly.

"No, that's not right," Shin started. Sena could _feel_ his eyes boring into his back.

"What are you talking about? Of course it is! It's not like we're spies or anything! That's just crazy! Look, we even have uniforms."

"I just gave you those," Sakiko piped up obliviously.

Monta eeped under whatever glare Shin was giving him.

"I don't know you, but that's Eye-"

"WE BETTER GO CATCH THAT TRAIN!" Sena shrilled, darting forward to grab Monta's wrist. Before he could get away, he felt a hand wrap around his own wrist, yanking him halfway around. With a loud yelp, Sena stumbled for balance and. Looked. Up.

Brown eyes met darker brown.

Shin's mouth went slack and his eyes widened. Such dark brown eyes… But his grip also loosened and Sena knew only one thing: _Get the hell away_.

"Brown…" Shin whispered. Sena's heart stopped dead.

"GO!" Monta shrieked, yanking Sena out of Shin's loose grip and they both raced away.

"What about the uniforms?! We just stole uniforms from Oujou!" Sena exclaimed as he zipped towards the closest subway station. He had to hold himself back for Monta's sake and it was _killing him_.

"We'll mail 'em back!" Monta replied easily. Sena blinked. Actually that wasn't a bad idea.

He frowned suddenly. "What's that sound?"

They both looked back. To see the tiny figure slowly gaining on them. And getting bigger. Both their eyes widened when the person got close enough and they could make out Shin's face.

"OH MY GOD! RUN FASTER!" Monta shrieked.

"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S TOO SLOW!" Sena shrilled back.

They jumped down the steps into the subway station, almost crying in relief as the subway pulled into the stop. They both had to fumble past layers of clothes to their own under the Oujou uniforms to dig out their train passes. Just as they swiped, Sena looked back and saw Shin skid over the floor from where he'd leapt off the stairs.

" _Oh my god! He's HERE!_ " Sena all but screamed. With an explosive push of his legs, he slammed into Monta's back and sent them tumbling into the subway car. They scrambled to their feet, panting and sweaty, just as the door closed.

Time froze and Sena didn't even hear the warning over the intercom about running in the station or onto the train. Because Shin was _staring_ at him, eyes wide and sweat dripping down the sides of his face.

The train whooshed away and Sena slumped to his knees.

"Sena, we did it! I'll get you back for that tackl- hey, you okay? Sena?" Monta asked, shaking Sena's shoulder.

"He saw me. He _knew me_ ," Sena whispered woodenly. "He wasn't supposed to…"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Monta asked curiously. Sena shook his head.

"N-Nothing. It's nothing. I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"

"Of course not! But tomorrow at practice, I'm not gonna hold back!"

Sena laughed stiltedly.

…

Back at the Oujou Station, Shin's hands curled into fists. His breath was tight and short, and he knew he needed to regain control. Take deeper breaths. Make his way calmly back to school.

But… he couldn't.

He'd found him. _He'd found him_. Six years later and he'd _finally found him_.

And his soulmate had run away. His soulmate had been _terrified_ of him. For the first time in almost a year, Shin had _felt_ his soulmate again. And all he'd felt was fear.

The colors that shone around him were a mockery. Taunting him at how close he had come and how far his soulmate had gone.

Shin had already forgotten the color of his soulmate's eyes and that made the ache worse.

The next afternoon, Sena trudged towards the sports store with Monta. The day had been too long, every moment dragged out like a dream he couldn't wake up from. He'd spent yesterday evening, well into the night, re-reading his dream journal from years ago. Pages and pages of Shared dreams, and Sena's theories and thoughts and wishes, all in that tiny paperbound book that remained a steady, perfect purple. Nothing in there had made it better. Nothing had changed the fact that he messed it all up. That their first moment... moments... had been ruined time and time again. Mostly because of _him_. Weariness and fatigue pulled him down. Running felt too slow, his body ungainly, unattached, like someone else's that he'd only rented instead of owned. Monta glanced over at him worriedly, but Sena couldn't bring himself to pull up his lips into a smile or put on fake assurances.

"Hey, Sena, I know we… I know we're new friends, but you can talk to me, yanno?" Monta muttered, scratching his cheek as they jogged side by side. Sena gulped and dropped his eyes to the ground.

"I know. Th-thanks, Monta-kun. I just… It's complicated."

"You weren't spying on Oujou yesterday, were you?" Monta said abruptly. Sena squeaked and glanced over at Monta's profile. That looked much more serious than usual.

"N-No… not really," Sena finally admitted, throat dry. Monta nodded.

"Hey, look, the sports store! Maximum effort!" Monta exclaimed. Sena smiled in relief. Maybe Monta wasn't quite so oblivious as Sena thought.

The rhythmic tapping of another runner had Sena absently moving out of the way and looking up.

Into… _Shin's face_. Sena froze, hand over his heart, breath short and rapid. _Oh god, Oh god, did he see me? Maybe he didn't recognize me? Oh god, of course he did he just saw me yesterday_. _But he doesn't know I'm Eyeshield 21, so at least he doesn't know just how much of a failure I am. Not really_ , Sena thought desperately as his heart tattooed against his sternum.

"You're…"

Sena jumped and grimacing, eyes going wide.

"You're Eyeshield 21, aren't you?"

And Sena blurted out "Ye-yes?" in shock before he could think about it. He turned slowly, pupils pinpoints and shoulders stiff and high around his ears.

Shin stared back silently, mouth turned down.

…

Shin stared down at Eyeshield 21 and felt his hands curl into fists. He normally didn't jog out this far. His feet just hadn't wanted to stop, as if he could run past the bile coating the back of his throat. As if he could run through the disappointment settled in his gut. As if... running fast enough meant he could catch his soulmate and change that fear into something _more_. Into what it was _supposed_ to be. Even now Eyeshield 21 cowered in front of him, tiny, slender body trembling like a leaf, barely able to meet his eyes. Shin had no idea… how to _fix_ this. How to make it _right_. He could remember every shove, every tackle, every blow on the field during their last game. He couldn't take it back. He couldn't regret doing what he was supposed to do.

But it had turned what should have been joyous into something like _this_.

"Hey! Damn it! Gimme ma money!" yelled another boy's voice. It shocked Eyeshield out of his quiet stupor and something like worry crossed the younger boy's face.

"Oh no! We got robbed?!" the boy exclaimed.

"Interesting." Eyeshield startled and looked over at him. Those big brown eyes were bemused. Shin pulled on his gloves. "There's a traffic jam ahead. With our speed we could catch them. You come up on their seven o'clock position."

Eyeshield took a second to gape. And then, Shin saw it. The firming of his narrow jaw, his lips thinning and his body moving into a crouch, legs braced on the concrete. "All right."

They both exploded forward, together.

No one had run _with_ Shin before. No one had been able to. But this diminutive boy matched him pace for pace. Something like triumph had Shin's chest filling, and for a glorious few minutes, he felt _whole_. Not _Half_. Wind shoved the hair out of Eyeshield's face and his fierce determination shined from his eyes.

There was no fear. Just the need to get to his goal.

 _This_ was Eyeshield. _This_ was his soulmate.

As Eyeshield and the receiver who'd been mugged counted their recovered money, Shin watched the thieves get put in the back of a police cruiser, pensive and quiet.

Eyeshield was scared of him _now_. But under it all was the boy that beat him on the field. Someone who was knocked down and got up again and again. Surely, if they met again, if they fought with all their might, they'd see each other as equals and that would be enough. If Shin got stronger, and pushed himself harder, and Eyeshield did the same, then maybe there wouldn't be fear. There would only be mutual respect. Shin would prove his worth as an opponent and a soulmate. And Eyeshield could do the same. Then, maybe…

He clenched his hand into a fist, glaring at the black fabric stretched tight over his knuckles.

"Than-thank you," Eyeshield said from behind him.

"Thanks!"

Shin turned to look over his shoulder. Eyeshield looked expectant, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth, but he was meeting Shin's eyes now. This instance of _victory_ had put strength in his gaze and stance.

"You've found yourselves a receiver?"

The other small kid with the big hands- good for a receiver- stepped back. Ah, he was also the other student who'd been on the campus yesterday.

"Get yourselves ready before the fall tournament. Oujou will be much stronger by then," Shin stated bluntly, eyes glancing away. He couldn't look at Eyeshield, not when he was fighting the need to close the distance between them. He wasn't ready yet. He didn't _want_ Shin yet. Shin glanced back one more time, cold and controlled. "I will be waiting for you in the finals."

He forced his feet to run _away_ from where he'd be running _to_ for the past six years. It was like ripping himself open. He gritted his teeth and didn't look back. Surely Eyeshield would understand that Shin would be waiting _for him_ in the finals. Waiting for that indomitable spirit to face him without cowering. Shin could wait a little longer.

…

Sena watched Shin go and felt something in him crack.

"Wow, he's so cool. _I'll be waiting at the finals_ ," Monta repeated, voice overly deep and face too stern.

"N-No, n-not like th-that," Sena stammered, trying to laugh. But his face felt twisted up wrong and his eyes were burning.

"Sena? Wow, _Sena_ , what-"

"He didn't… he didn't _care_. He didn't _say_ anything. I know he knows," Sena blurted. He couldn't see Shin anymore, but he didn't know if it was because he was out of sight or because of the tears filming his eyes. "He didn't say anything. I've been waiting and waiting and he _doesn't care_."

"Sena, what's- what are you talking about? Why are you crying?!" Monta flailed, concern and panic pitching his voice high. Sena turned to him with a wobbly smile.

"Your eyes are black. And your jersey is red."

Monta froze, mouth dropping open.

"The river is kinda greyish blue and the sky is blue and the grass is green and that money is a pinkish-purplish on pinkish-yellow and _I've been waiting six years to find him and he just ran the opposite direction!_ " Sena burst out, shoulders shaking and head falling. Tears dotted the cement between his feet and Monta's gentle, hesitant hand on his shoulder only made the sobbing worse. "I knew it! I knew I wasn't good enough! He took one look at me and _ran_ , just like they said. I'm small and weak and cowardly and he beat me almost every single time in our game and-" Sena let out a strangled, choked parody of a laugh as he rubbed at his eyes with his arm. "No wonder he never looked for me. He's _perfect_ and I'm just _me_."

"Hey, whoa, Sena, now hold on a minute."

"It's true!"

"That's _crap_!" Monta argued angrily. Sena sniffled in surprise and looked up. Monta was glaring, hands in fists and propped on his hips. "You're _max awesome_ , okay? I've seen how hard you work and how hard you try. You're _Eyeshield 21_. He's just bent out of shape you _can_ beat him. Cuz you _did_ , remember? Everyone knows you beat him! He's not perfect, he's… he's a _sore loser_! Max!" Monta declared angrily.

Sena sniffled again and frowned. "I d-don't think-"

"No, you're not thinking clearly. Listen to me, okay?" He threw his wiry arm around Sena's neck and dragged him close. "He's all bent outta shape that he lost to you and then found out you're his soulmate. He's a dick."

"Monta-kun!"

"I said listen!" Monta cleared his throat pointedly as Sena's mouth clicked shut in shock. "So, whatcha you gotta do is show him who's _boss_ , okay? Make him regret being a jerk. You gotta get to the finals, with me, and we'll beat him and he'll feel like a real chump. He'll come begging for forgiveness and then _you_ can drop him like a hot potato. Because you're _awesome_ and deserve better than that bastard! Soulmate or not!"

"M-Monta-kun," Sena stammered, eyes shiny and mouth tipping up. Monta glanced away, cheeks a little red and mouth twisted to the side.

"Anyway. We better go buy the stuff before Hiruma shoots us dead or sics Cerberus on us or something."

Sena let out a shaky, half-terrified laugh and let Monta drag him to the store.

…

The rest of the year passed in a blur. Of goals met and Death Marches completed and the few snatches of moments shared with Shin.

Moments that left Sena shaky and _confused_. No, confused was a bad word for it. It didn't quite capture it. Bewildered? Confounded? Complete and utterly _mystified_ by everything Shin did and said?

He watched the drizzling rain fall outside his family home, chewing on beef thoughtfully. (He couldn't eat beef now without thinking about Shin and wasn't that just _stupid_ and weird?!) His parents had long since given up asking about his soulmate, so neither had any idea about Shin. He wondered if he should tell them. But then he'd have to explain about amefuto and he just wasn't ready for that. They had both noticed him getting taller and bulking up slightly, but hadn't pressed for answers. His mother had even supplemented his diet without many questions. It helped that Mamori had come up with a better diet plan for him and given it to his mother. Something about a growing boy's needs or something to explain for it.

He sighed and shoved the last of the braised beef into his mouth and set his chopsticks aside.

"May I be excused?" he asked quietly.

Shuuma and Mihae glanced at one another.

"Of course, sweetie. Get some rest. You've been looking so exhausted these days," Mihae replied easily, reaching over to pat his hand. "Exercise is good for you, dear, but don't push it."

"And whatever it is… is it still worth it?" Shuuma asked, eyes on his paper. Sena smiled faintly.

"Yeah, yeah it is."

"Then, keep up the hardwork, but don't forget to take care of yourself."

Sena got up and bowed to both his parents before trudging up the stairs to his room, Pitt at his heels. The moment he lay on his bed, hands behind his head, Pitt leapt onto his stomach and curled up in a ball. He grunted and laughed lightly, absently stroking her silky fur as he stared up at the ceiling.

Tomorrow was the Oujou game. He'd _made it_. He'd made it _all the way_. He'd faced down the Taiyo Sphinxes, the NASA Aliens and Panther-kun, he'd faced down the Nagas and Kakei and Akaba, and he'd come out on top. He'd had his whole team behind him but he'd had his _own_ battles that he'd _won_.

So why did tomorrow's game mean so damn much? Was it because it was the first game he had ever lost, about to be replayed? Was it only because of Shin and facing him again?

He had spent six years desperate to find his soulmate only to be treated like a _rival_ for Shin. An opponent to overcome. Shin had admitted he could see colors, they sometimes still slipped into shared dreams- shaky, forgotten too easily, flashes of images before he woke up gasping- but Shin had never sought him out. Never tried to talk about what they _were_. A half year of limbo that Sena couldn't tell was better or worse than the five-ish years that came before it.

Would he rather still be searching? Still be _Halved_? Rather than be like this?

Would winning the finals tomorrow finally prove to Shin he was a worthy soulmate? Would Shin finally look at him and just see _Sena_ and _want_ him?

Sena closed his eyes and placed a hand over his heart.

And what did _Sena_ want? Did he really want someone who'd considered him _not good enough_ to decide he suddenly was? Didn't he want someone who would want him and be proud of him even at his weakest? Who could love him for the shy and cowardly parts as much for his bravest and strongest parts? He was proud of everything he'd accomplished, but did he really have to _prove_ himself to someone just to feel worthy of being _whole_?

In the end, though, Sena supposed it didn't matter. He smiled wryly and sighed. He would still do his best tomorrow to win. For Kurita-san and Hiruma-san and Musashi-san. For Monta-kun and even for the Ha-Ha brothers. For Yuki-san and Mamori-neechan. For Suzuna and Taki-kun.

And for himself. He'd learn how to be whole without Shin, even if it hurt.

…

Shin sat on the bench on the sidelines, ignoring the rain and the sounds of his teammates gearing themselves up to play. He was staring down at the helmet in his hands silently, blocking out the world. He couldn't… he couldn't allow himself to think of what this game meant. He couldn't allow himself to let his feelings and his wishes become weaknesses. His teammates were relying on him. He had a promise, a half year long promise, to keep.

If he kept his promise though, if he threw Sena down and Sena couldn't get back up…

What would happen then? What was he proving?

Shin closed his eyes and tched loudly between his teeth. Shin was not made for doubts. He was a player. He was meant to work hard and _excel_ , as much as he was capable. After all these months, after how far they both- Sena and Shin- had come, Shin's only recourse now was to play with everything in him. To hold nothing back and…

 _Believe_ that Sena was everything he knew Sena could be.

He had to believe that Sena would always get back up. He had to believe that Sena had grown strong enough and fast enough and brave enough to meet Shin's eyes as an equal at last. Rivals and soulmates and _equals_.

Shin had to believe that Sena would look at him and feel no more fear.

...

Sena wheezed and panted behind his eyeshield. Instead of the light shade of green, the clouds above him with their drizzles of rain were grey. He could feel himself shaking, but it wasn't because of the cold mud caking his bare arms or the soaking wet clothes sticking to him. It wasn't even because of the pain he could feel building under the numbing adrenaline.

No, it was because Shin was standing over him. Looking down at him silently, eyes weighty and _disappointed_ , in a world of grey.

Whatever proof Sena might or might not have needed, he wasn't earning it now. There was nothing left in him. His only skill, the only way to win, the only way he could be Shin's equal, had been ripped away from him. How could he get back up and keep trying? How could he stand only to lose again and again, at the hands of his own soulmate.

The soulmate that couldn't even look at him with pride.

His stare was cold and blank, as if Sena was unrecognizable to him.

 _You power— that is all of it? The one I acknowledged as my greatest rival, the one who breaks under so little?_

Sena couldn't find the wherewithal to move until Shin stepped away. He watched, breath short and choppy, as Shin walked back to his huddle. Leaving Sena sitting in the mud and rain, shame and pain coursing through him. He bit down on his lip and dropped his face, hoping to hold it back. What use were tears here?

It hurt _so much_. Because he'd tried _so hard_. He'd worked so hard! He'd suffered so much. And in the end it came down to nothing, all for nothing.

Because his soulmate had looked at him and walked away again.

He had truly and completely let his soulmate down as well as his rival.

…

Don't look back.

Don't stop.

Trident Tackle. Blitz. Ballista. Sagittarius.

Block. Run. Run. _Run_.

It wasn't time for distractions. It wasn't time for doubts.

An arm reached out, and beyond it, a gleaming blue shield and gritted teeth. He moved automatically, blocking and Spear Tackling. But as he watched the number 21 roll over the dirt, Shin felt it return. Just a little. That spark that only Sena Kobayakawa inspired.

Almost. _Almost_.

He can't stop yet. But when Sena faced him down, Shin saw no fear.

The spark _burned_.

…

Sena fell to his knees, eyes squeezed shut, as the wordless yell ripped from his throat. _He did it!_

 _He did it._

The game ended and the ball was _in his hands_ and he'd _made it_. He'd made the last touchdown and _won the game_. His team was suddenly all around him, teary eyed and grinning and yelling and cheering. The roars of the crowd had Sena's heart thudding, his whole _body_ elated. Mud splashed over their ankles and tears and snot were pouring down Kurita's face. Monta was clambering over him, rubbing at his wet hair with his knuckles and hugging him around the neck too tightly until they were swept apart to cheer with the others.

"We won! We did it!" Sena laughed and cried at once, breaths harsh and panting.

His eyes darted over to the side to meet Shin's.

And the people around him died away. It was just them again, just the two of them. There wasn't disappointment in his eyes. Sena yanked the helmet off his head, breathing in deep and closing his eyes. He wasn't supposed to expect anything. He didn't _need_ anything-

His eyes blinked open as Shin began walking towards him. Sena let his helmet fall to his side, confusion pulling his brows together as his head tilted slightly. Shin's helmet was tossed to the side and Sena turned slightly, watching it bounce over the muddy grass. Someone was crying like a wounded rhino, and his friends were still cheering, but Sena's eyes were locked on the white and blue helmet rolling through the mud to a stop.

"Eh…" Sena looked up, just in time to see Shin loom over him. Both hands clasped Sena's shoulders and-

 _What the hell?!_

Sena's eyes were wide, pupils dilated, and his helmet fell from nerveless fingers.

But that was… that was definitely Shin's mouth. On _his_ mouth. Even as his mind screamed- something like a mix between a keyboard smash and _oh my god oh my god oh my god_ \- Sena felt himself sinking into it.

It was _Shin_. Shin, his _soulmate_ , was kissing him like he was desperate for it. Shin's mouth pressed too hard to his, hard enough to hurt, and Sena was pretty sure his teeth were vibrating from where Shin's had clacked against his. Their noses were smooshed awkwardly and Shin's hands were clutching too tightly. But it didn't _matter_. It was everything Sena needed, had needed, for years.

Then, Sena remembered why they'd been waiting, for at least this past school year, and tore himself away. Shin's strength was still more than Sena's, so he couldn't exactly push the larger linebacker away, not when he was still trembling with exertion. However, he yanked himself far enough away he could glare up at Shin's face. A face that looked as shell-shocked and unfocused as Sena felt. Sena would appreciate that when his own brain wasn't reeling in his skull with confused yet righteous indignation.

"Wh-what is that supposed to mean!?" Sena exclaimed, face flushed and eyes darting over Shin's face. "Did I really… Did I really have to _prove_ myself to you, this whole time? That's all you wanted?" The hurt had his voice cracking as he began to shake harder.

Shin stared at him, mouth falling open but no words came out.

"Hey, what the hell is going on?"

"Leggo of Sena!"

"I don't understand, what's Shin doing?"

Sena flinched at the sudden onslaught of voices, but Shin's hands gripped harder.

"No."

The runningback blinked and jerked his head up. Shin was scowling, brows crashing down and eyes dark.

"No, that's not it. You were… you were scared. You ran from me when I realized it was you. I was waiting for you... to face me like this."

Sena felt his own jaw drop.

"You… you felt that? At the school?"

Shin nodded and Sena felt his cheeks heat.

"I was just surprised. That day, I was just… surprised. I didn't think you'd _want_ it to be me. And then, the next day, you said you knew I was Eyeshield, too, so I thought because of the game before... And then you just _walked away_ , even though you knew _everything_. I thought you hated me. This whole time, _every time_ I saw you, I thought I wasn't _good_ enough because you always walked away," Sena blurted out. It felt so good to finally say it, like he was leeching out poison.

The look on Shin's face was as if the words tumbling from Sena's mouth were the stupidest things he'd ever heard had Sena's heart thudding faster.

"Eyeshield. Sena. You've never had to prove yourself to me."

Sena's hands curled into Shin's jersey.

"I've the one who let you down this whole time. I'm the one that scared you. I couldn't… I couldn't protect you and when I found you, I caused you pain, too. I couldn't _not_ be who I am, I couldn't _not_ play my best. It wouldn't be right. But as long as you were scared of me… I couldn't force myself where I wasn't wanted," Shin explained. His stoic expression broke and Sena saw something conflicted and pained and _confused_.

This whole time, Shin had been _waiting_. Not for proof, but for Sena to _win_. He'd been cheering Sena on this whole time, believing in him, for _Sena's sake_. Hoping that Sena could be strong enough to fight back and not be scared of _Shin_. It wasn't just about the game. It was about Sena getting up and facing Shin head on without flinching. About Sena always getting back up and letting Sena do that by himself because Shin couldn't help him. Not when they stood on opposite sides of the line of scrimmage.

Sena felt his own heartbreak at that. Knowing that this serious, focused, no-nonsense player, the best in Kantou, had been hoping for Sena to win. Not necessarily in touchdowns. No, it was about fighting and never being scared even when he failed.

"You were scared, too," Sena realized, voice soft. Shin looked startled at the words. "You were scared you were just like them. That I saw you as a bully, too."

Shin's dark eyes shuttered closed and he exhaled loudly through his nose, shoulders slumping. "Yes." The confession sounded torn from him.

"It's okay, Shin-san. I never thought you were a bully. I'll never be scared of you again, I promise. _I_ _want you, too_ ," Sena whispered.

Shin jerked his head up, eyes wide and expression raw. Sena smiled tremulously back.

"I've always wanted you, even when I _was_ scared. I _missed_ you." Sena laughed shyly, tears gathering on his lashes as his head ducked.

He eeped out loud, hands flapping awkwardly in the air. Shin's arms wrapped too tightly around his waist and his face was buried in the curve of Sena's neck, ignoring the sweat and mud just to be as close as possible. Finally, Sena wrapped his arms around Shin's broad shoulders and dropped his forehead to thump onto the jersey-covered shoulder pad.

"Wait. Wait, _they're soulmates?!_ " Sakuraba was exclaiming.

"Oh, you didn't realize it?" Takami asked, amusement plain in his voice.

"Fucking pretty boy doesn't have much of a brain, does he?" Hiruma cackled. "Fucking monkey, go poke 'em apart, they're holding us up."

"Uhhhh…. Why me?"

Sena dug his fingers into the back of Shin's uniform and pressed his face against the side of Shin's head- sweat and mud be damned. "I think we have to go do something or another."

Shin held him tighter and grunted a disagreeable sound.

"I r-really thi-think…"

"I've been waiting six years. They can wait a little longer," Shin grumbled irritably. Sena huffed amusedly.

"Good point."

The referee whistle blew then and they fell apart, Shin scowling dangerously in the referee's direction (who actually blanched and took a step back). Sena's face was tomato red as the roars of the crowd and the announcer's excited stream of words met his ears. Everyone knew now. Almost all of Kantou and every opponent he'd ever faced. But Shin only stared down at him, unrepentant and unabashed.

"You should- w-we sh-should b-both-"

"Kobayakawa Sena."

The Deimon runningback stammered to a halt and gulped, trying not to smile at Shin or do something more embarrassing like run forward and start kissing again.

"Next year, with the new generation of Oujou, I'll become your opponent again," Shin said seriously. Sena nodded nervously. But something about Shin's face softened. "This time I'll be the challenger."

"D-Don't s-say th-that, I'm n-not…" he trailed off as Shins' eyebrows went up. With a glance down to his eyeshield, seeing his own rugged and muddy face staring back, seeing a _winner_ staring back, Sena took a deep breath.

Wasn't that the point of this game? To be equals? To look Shin in the eye and no longer feel… _less than_? And that's what Shin meant now. Shin no longer had to wait for _him_ , and Sena was no longer scared. From this day on, they were rivals, standing on the same field, and there was no more question of _worthy_ or not.

"… me, too!" Sena looked up and met Shin's expectant gaze. "When we meet then, I will have become stronger, too." His voice didn't waver and he felt his own conviction deep down inside him. Where he needed no one else to hold him up.

"Yeah."

Sena boggled, face heating- no his _whole body_ blushing, when Shin's already softened expression broke into something… something like a _smile_.

"It'd bother me otherwise," Shin stated simply.

Sena wobbly-knee-walked himself back to his irritably waiting team.

" _WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?"_ More than half of them shouted at once. Sena rubbed the back of his head and chuckled awkwardly.

"So… uh… Shin Seijuuro is my soulmate?"

* * *

 **A/N: This is why I'm doing an incomprehensible series rather than a straight up story, though. I hate and love this oneshot. I don't feel like it's good enough, but I love what's been done. *sigh* I think I lack patience to make it into what I WANT it to be.**

 **ALSO, blink and you miss Sterek cameo FOR THE LULZ.**


	22. Mornings

**What is(are) their morning ritual(s)?**

* * *

Not every morning went exactly the same. Life happens, gets in the way, re-arranges plans. But Sena prefers the routine of the days that are the same as any other, that repeat in a dependable, same-old-same-old fashion. What others call boring, he calls _perfect_. A morning like today's, for example, was one that had played out a thousand times before.

Sena wakes up with the sun in his eyes because of course Oh-Sada, the calico, managed to get up onto the windowsill again and cracked the curtains. He grimaces and throws an arm over his eyes, but really, he's too comfortable and warm to be really annoyed. Plus, there's a ten pound fatty orange tabby on his lower gut and he would've woken up with the need to pee any minute now, anyway. He shoves Kakiko off, gently for sure, but she grumbles and saunters away, tail high in the air despite that. Another body grumbles nearby and Sena turns to smile sleepily at the sight; Seijuuro laid out on his belly, one arm outstretched from where it'd fallen from Sena's waist. As usual, his torso is bare and his hair is just long enough to fall over his eyes. He'll probably cut it soon, unfortunately to Sena's way of thinking. He brushes the black strands off Seijuuro's face with light fingertips to see the slowly forming scowl on his partner's still sleeping face. Unlike Sena, who once woken easily adjusted to being so, Seijuuro hated to wake and spent the first hour or so grumpy and irritable in his reticent, stoic way.

Sena slips from the bed they've shared for years now, bare feet on cool wooden floors, shuffling towards the bathroom. Warm water splashes his face, refreshing and bracing, followed by some quick, efficient teeth-brushing. Cats mew pitifully at his feet as he tiptoes back through the bedroom into the hallway. All four are quickly fed, water bowls are checked and refreshed, and the coffee machine soon switched on. Sena still prefers tea, but after their years in America, Seijuuro had long since succumbed to the caffeine addiction he swears he doesn't have. It lights up Seijuuro's eyes like so few things do, that Sena can't help but willingly imbibe the bitter brew alongside him. Though, he _does_ add quite a bit of milk and sugar to his.

Rice and water is measured into the cooker and set. Fresh water poured into the hot water dispenser, and meat taken out of the freezer to defrost in the fridge for tomorrow. Sena hums as he finally gets around to breakfast. Toasted granola mixed into yogurt, eggs set into a pot to boil, fruit quickly washed and cut into a shared bowl.

A small smile curves up his lips as the slowly shuffling pad of feet on wooden floor reaches him. The sound of the cats going wild with purr-laced meows still makes him shake his head slightly. Apple slices slide from his cutting board into the shallow bowl, knife scraping over wood, before both items are set aside and he leans into the hands on his hips and the chest at his back. There aren't any teasings or pet names, there aren't even any words. Just Seijuuro's forehead lying on Sena's shoulder and arms slipping tightly around his smaller waist. He doesn't need to hear the words when the familiar lingering touch of Seijuuro's lips on the side of his neck, and the automatic tilt of his head to make it easier, say 'I love you' just as clearly.

Seijuuro blearily glares at the coffee machine, as if hoping it'd pour itself for a long moment. Again, the coffee machine refuses to evolve and Seijuuro makes the coffee himself, grunting quietly when Sena hip-checks him on the way to the table. The silence between them remains unbroken until Seijuuro sits at the table, hands over Sena's mug, and takes his first sip of the day.

Then, Sena fills him in on whatever crosses his mind. Work the day before, the upcoming work day, whatever plans they have with friends, what errands need to be run, something he saw on the TV, just halfway meaningless babble made meaningful by the serious eyes that watch him contentedly. The morning wouldn't be complete without this first half hour of coffee and breakfast and Sena's cheerful chatter that rouses Seijuuro from his stupor gradually.

Sleep clothes are exchanged for gym clothes. Even though they'd retired from football, a little young to be sure, and returned to Japan to follow other career paths, to settle into a home and seriously consider their _future_ , neither had completely given up what had brought them together.

Running. Still fleet-footed and side-by-side.

Seijuuro still went to the gym regularly, still tended towards _freakishly strong_ and much too committed to personal perfection, but had eased up a little since coming back to Japan. Sena wasn't sure how much was because of retirement or the kids the man had taken charge of influencing the softer side, but in the long run, it didn't matter. He likes this simpler, older version of the man he'd married just as much as he'd liked the obsessive, workout-freak he'd been in their high school days.

The run ends at their stoop, both sweating and breathing a little harder, but neither pushed themselves too hard. They stand in the early morning sunlight, breathing deep and slow through easy stretches until their heart rates fall. By then, Seijuuro is completely awake, the morning grogginess burned out by their run and coffee. It's at this point that Sena normally can't help himself, and his hands curl into whatever top Seijuuro's wearing, and he tugs the taller man down. Far enough down to press their lips together in the first kiss of the day.

It tastes of salt and coffee and bananas and _Seijuuro_. He hums against Seijuuro's mouth, satisfied and glad, and when they break apart, Seijuuro's lips are quirked up just enough to have Sena's chest fill to bursting with warmth.

"Good morning, Sena."

"Yes, it is," Sena agrees.

Another soft kiss has the shorter of two sighing dopily.

And afterward Seijuuro will go start the shower and Sena will probably join him in a minute. But today… today he pauses at the doorstep and looks at the empty yard and at the mostly bare walls and… _wonders_.

Routines, safe and predictable and _good_ , are things Sena thrives on. And he knows Seijuuro does, too. But...

Well…

He'd gotten a taste of adventure at fifteen and never quite gave up the craving. Maybe it's finally time to start something new? He smiles, secret and wistful, as shadows of what could be fill the hallways with laughter and broken routines. Then, he closes the front door. There's a naked man in his shower at _this_ moment, after all. The future could wait a few more hours.

* * *

 _A/N: If you couldn't tell, I've been struggling with Muse pretty badly. Work's been hell, I've been ridiculously tired and just when I think I've caught up, we're told we have ten thousand more things to do, oh, and get them done by next week, ciao. *eyeroll* This chapter I posted up during the worst of my slump this past month, but it was such a bad slump, I couldn't be arsed to cross-post it over here. I'm SO sorry. I didn't realize just how many people are reading it over here. It's insane! Y'all are amazing, but insane! XDDD I managed to fiddle around a bit with the next chapter recently (which was supposed to be THIS one, but I was just happy to create this little fluffy masterpiece, honestly. At least something got written), so maybe when Sunday night comes around, I'll have a little more energy to actually put real work into it. Again, sorry for the wait, m'loves! I hope you enjoyed this short, but sweet little bit of domestic fluff~_


	23. Holidays

**How are the holidays spent?** **Would they ever get married?** **Thoughts on kids?** **What do they do when the other is stressed?** **What are their (planned) careers?**

* * *

Two years.

Two years and a few days since Sena's first confession in the snow. Since their first kiss (and second… and maybe third? It sorta blurred at the end there). His birthday and Christmas had already passed and New Year's Day was in less than 24 hours. Before high school, New Year's Eve had been him and his family, sometimes Mamori and her mother (and one year with Riku), having home-cooked hotpot and lighting up sparklers in the backyard. On the years Mamori came, his father and Mamori's mother would have gotten drunk on _sake_ , his mother on _umeshu_ , and Sena and Mamori would eat frozen _mochi_ at midnight and fall asleep under the _kotatsu_ —when Mamori didn't come, it was mostly the same minus her and her mother. The most momentous New Year's had been the year Riku had been his friend, and Riku had convinced both Sena and Mamori they should eat the alcohol-soaked plums leftover from Mihae's _umeshu_. They had only been nine or ten, so they'd gotten silly and giggly before they'd even finished them off, and passed out in a heap before midnight. Luckily, they hadn't eaten enough to get sick and Sena had counted it one of his favorite new year's memories until after his sixteenth birthday. (It was still one of his favorites, though.)

After the Christmas Bowl and making so many amazing and er… _eclectic_ friends (and getting to go to USA even!), New Year's had only gotten more fun. Full of crazy parties and best friends and good fun, and still that home-cooked hotpot with his parents in the early evening- usually with half a dozen "guests" that had shown up just in time for the Kobayakawas to sit down to it. This year, something _else_ new was starting, and he wondered if this would become a new tradition and how it would fit in with everything.

His knee bounced, fingers jittery and tapping on his thighs, as buildings and streets slipped past the limo window. A familiar, soft, pudgy hand fell over his and he looked over to his mother. Her kind brown eyes- the same shade and shape as his own- met his anxious gaze and a great deal of said anxiety melted away.

Mihae patted his hand and told him firmly, "It's going to be just fine. The Shins have been nothing but kind to you, and to us through you. We'll get along fine."

Sena shook his head, huffing under his breath. Honestly, that wasn't even the real worry. The Shins were so polite and sophisticated, that even if they didn't like the Kobayakawas, they wouldn't act other than polite and sophisticated. It wasn't drama or hostility he was antsy about.

"I… I just… I usually have time for my friends for New Year's," Sena mumbled, dropping his head. "It'll be the first New Year's without them since high school, except for the time I was in America."

"I think the invitation to visit your boyfriend's family deserves a little more appreciation than a party with your friends," Mihae admonished, looking disappointed in him. Sena cringed. It did sound really selfish once he'd said it aloud.

"Y-Yes, s-sorry, Mama," he muttered towards his lap.

Shuuma cleared his throat pointedly. "I think we forget, Mihae, just how important those friends are to him. We've gotten so used to them being underfoot and noisy deviants. A man should always appreciate the friendships he's gained in his life, especially like those Sena has found."

Sena glanced up, smiling wide and startled at his dad. As much as he loved his mother, his father had always understood him a little bit more. Moments like this only re-emphasized that fact and had the guilt weighing him down loosening. Mihae made a thoughtful noise and pressed a dimple into her round chin with her finger.

"I suppose you're right. He's so changed from that lonely little boy he was in middle school, I've plumb-forgotten that it's still pretty new. I'm sorry, sweetheart," Mihae confessed, wrapping her warm arms around him and giving him a squeeze. "We'll make sure to have hotpot for all your friends tomorrow instead! How about that? You think that'd be okay?"

Sena blushed to his ears, but smiled small and pleased. "Yeah, I think they would like it. I'll text everyone about it right now."

"You better be quick," interjected Shuuma, a quiet sort of affection in his voice at his little family. "We're stopping at a gate now."

Sena perked up and, sure enough, saw the tall looming gates of the Shin residence ahead. Hoshino knocked on the window that separated them and Sena nodded.

"Yup, this is it! Mama, switch seats with me. You should get a good look," Sena advised with a sneaky little smirk at his parents' baffled looks in his direction. He was already sending out mass texts to friends as he helped his mother clamber over him and into his vacated seat.

Their loud, disbelieving gasps had him snickering behind his phone- which was already lighting up with texts all agreeing to show up the next day for hotpot and _sake_ with the Kobayakawas. A few of them even said their parents would be coming, too. A warm fuzzy feeling buzzed in his gut at the affirmation of how close he and his friends were- how like _family_ they all were even five years since that first Christmas Bowl and two years since everyone had scattered to mostly different colleges.

"Are you sure we're at the right place, son?" Shuuma wheezed, wiping his glasses with his shirttails.

"Honey, they have a limo and their own driver! You shouldn't be this surprised!" Mihae replied, though her own voice was shaky and she still hadn't torn her wide eyes away from the mansion looming over them.

Sena grinned when the front doors of the mansion opened and Shin's silhouette darkened the entryway. "Too bad it's winter. The peacocks are inside the special kennels until it warms up."

"Peacocks?!" His parents exclaimed together. They quickly pulled themselves together when Hoshino appeared outside their door to open it.

The Kobayakawas tumbled out in various clumsy manners, and Shin was already standing on the bottom step and bowing to them. To Sena, he merely looked, mouth and eyes soft around the edges. The Enma player grinned wide and unreservedly, stepping past his parents to grip Shin's hand. He had to restrain himself from hugging Shin tight around the waist and tilting his face up for a kiss- something he just _did_ these days. Shin's hand clasped his tightly in return.

"My parents are waiting inside to meet you," Shin told the Kobayakawas.

Mihae clapped her hands together with a giddy smile, "Well, let's go then. I just can't wait to meet them."

"Y-Yeah," Shuuma gulped.

They all hurried up the carefully cleared and de-iced steps into the foyer. Sighs of relief at the warmth left them simultaneously, and they started to unwind their scarves and jackets at the insistence of the cheery housekeeper. Then, the older Kobayakawas froze, half-bent over to reach for their shoes, when Sena quickly stopped them.

"They leave their shoes on here," Sena whispered under his breath, cupping the side of his mouth with one hand and blushing for his parents' sake. Who both blinked and gaped at Sena.

"My father spent a great deal of his youth in the West," Shin explained easily with a shrug. He glanced away and upwards, his features blank and stoic. "There they are."

Sena jerked up and grinned happily. Juuri and Seisuke were hurrying down the stairs, Seisuke quite literally _bounding_ down them. Sena and his parents met them at the bottom, bowing, but Seisuke swept aside ceremony to lift Sena up into a hug that took the small man's breath away, his spine cracking loudly.

"It's Sena! Long time no see!" Seisuke exclaimed eagerly.

"L-Long t-time n-no s-see," Sena wheezed. Juuri placing her hand to Seisuke's shoulder had the boisterous man putting Sena back on his feet.

"And you must be Mihae and Shuuma Kobayakawa. Welcome to our home," Juuri greeted kindly, bowing politely. The Kobayakawas quickly bowed back again, already flustered.

"None of that stuffy Shin and Kobayakawa nonsense. You'll call us Juuri and Seisuke," Seisuke proclaimed, shaking each of their hands in turn in both of his bear-like paws.

"If y-you're sure," Mihae gasped, hand still hanging awkwardly in the air after he'd released her.

"Yes, I agree. Let's head into the dining room for dinner, shall we? We thought you'd enjoy a hot meal after your long ride," Juuri told them as she gestured when her hand.

"That's sounds great," Mihae agreed cheerfully. Shuuma sunk into a timid silence, letting his chattier, more outgoing wife take control of the situation while his dark eyes darted around their surroundings.

Shin and Sena took up the rear, watching as the Shin parents wooed the Kobayakawa parents with grace and genuine exuberance on Seisuke's part. While Sena looked excited and eager for their parents to get along, grinning enthusiastically when Juuri drew his more reticent father into conversation with polite questions about his legal work, Shin didn't look quite as _overjoyed_. He was stiff and robotic in his movements, his expression still the carefully stoic mask he'd pulled on the moment he led them all inside. Sena glanced between their parents and Shin, and couldn't help but wonder what was wrong.

Everything seemed to be going just fine. _So why was Shin acting like they were ten goals behind with thirty seconds left on the clock?_

Dinner was- thankfully- familiar Japanese foods. His father wasn't really a fan of Western food and his mother got embarrassed when she didn't recognize what she was eating. The dining room wasn't one of the _grand_ ones he'd eaten in when his American friends had stayed, instead a very intimate and comfortable one. The table was just large enough to fit them with a lazy Susan set up in the middle, so they could rotate the dishes and pick off what they wanted with their chopsticks. Shin was sitting next to Sena, of course, with Mihae on Shin's other side, and Seisuke on Sena's other side. Juuri and Shuuma sat next to each other, and Sena couldn't help but be grateful. Shuuma would wilt under a man like Seisuke's attention, but Juuri had his father actually talking- quietly, sure, but with actual words and sentences Sena could hear if he focused on them. Seisuke spent most of the dinner putting more and more food on Sena's plate, urged on by Sena's laughing mother who agreed with Seisuke that Sena still had a lot of growing to do. Shin kept his ear bent towards the much shorter and chattier Mihae, nodding along with almost everything she said and answering her occasional, curious questions.

By the time Hoshino brought out tea and fruit for dessert, Shin's tense shoulders had relaxed and he'd even made a joke to Mihae about being surprised she hadn't brought Pitt-chan along.

Mihae tittered and sipped at her tea at Shin's awkward, but heartfelt joke.

"Oh, I thought about it. But what if your parents were allergic?"

"Allergic? What is this Pittchan?" Seisuke asked, carefully peeling an orange slice free of pulp before popping it into his mouth. Like his wife and son, he ate _daintily_ and cleanly. The only thing that Sena had ever seen Seisuke do neatly was eat. Otherwise, he reminded Sena a lot of Otawara-kun.

Which meant: cheerful bull in a china shop.

"Pitt is our family pet. A cat," Sena explained to the big man next to him. "We've had her almost my whole life. She loves Seijuuro… _kun_." Sena blushed at his slip. Using Seijuuro's name without an honorific in front of their _parents_ was _embarrassing_. Shin never used honorifics, but Sena was just too Japanese-bred to not be horrified at the slip.

"Seijuuro always did love cats. I just didn't want our cleaning service to have to deal with fur or litter boxes," Juuri agreed with a fond smile towards Shin. Shin sipped his tea with his eyes lowered.

Seisuke laughed and reached over to put his hand over his wife's. "Not to mention, she was worried a misbehaving cat might tear up my family's old heirlooms. She takes better care of this old place than I do."

Juuri lowered her eyes, just like her son, her mouth twitching up to the side when Seisuke kissed her cheek. Mihae blushed and smiled, both embarrassed and delighted by Seisuke's overt affection for his wife. She nudged at Shuuma's leg, but he merely looked at her over his tea, eyebrow lifting. She giggled again at her husband's look.

"It's a lovely home. I'm sure cats would get lost in it anyway. I'd be surprised if a little Seijuuro-kun didn't get lost it in," Mihae teased the big man next to her.

"I did. Often. Mother always found me," Shin answered simply, but it had Sena and Mihae laughing.

"Too bad I didn't know you then. This would've been a great place to play hide-n-seek," Sena joked.

"You're small enough, you could probably still hide in some places I found," Shin replied, his mouth twitching. Sena gaped up at him, while his parents and Seisuke laughed at his expense.

When her laughter ebbed into chuckles, Mihae added with a teasing wink at her son, "I'm sure you'll have kids of your own one day and you could play with them instead."

"Mama!" Sena hissed, covering his flaming red face with his hand.

"What!? You're about to start your third year, and Seijuuro-kun his fourth! You have to think about the future, sweetie!" Mihae replied.

Neither son nor mother noticed the sudden rigidity in another mother and son, or the strange grimace Seisuke hid behind a mouthful of pear. Shuuma's dark, assessing gaze glanced from Juuri to Shin, mouth tightening.

"Not _now_. Mama, please!" Sena pleaded, eyes darting up to Shin. Only to blink in surprise.

The last time Sena had seen that look, he and Shin had been _fighting_.

"I'll never forgive you if you don't give me grandbabies eventually. Right, Juuri-san?" Mihae said, looking towards the other mother in the room, oblivious to Juuri's tense shoulders. To her, Juuri looked exactly the same- perfect posture and cool façade. "You're looking forward to spoil grandchildren one day, too?"

"That's far in the future yet," Juuri said stiffly.

Shuuma quietly chimed in, "They have their entire careers ahead of them, Mihae. Don't fluster them, now." Mihae psshed and flapped her hand at them.

"Spoilsports."

"Our boys both have the NFL draft ahead them. Seijuuro's already talking about scouts and next year's tournaments. Sena, too, I bet?" Seisuke pointed out, with a strange tone of relief in his voice.

Sena looked around the table, brown eyes taking in the cooling intimacy settling over the table. Even his father was keeping his gaze on his plate rather than re-engaging Juuri in conversation, something wary and… shrewd in his black eyes.

"Yes, I want to go back to America for amefuto, too. But after… after the NFL," Sena said slowly. Shin's hand gripped his knee, fleeting and tight, and had Sena looking over to him, words trailing off. Shin gave him an almost imperceptible shake of his head. Sena frowned harder, but ceased talking. Something sick and heavy began to coil in the pit of his stomach at Shin's silent warning.

"After the NFL, you'll come back to Japan and get settled down and start a family," Mihae said stoutly and firmly. _Too bad Seijuuro can't warn her the same way_ , Sena thought desperately, throat constricting. "You can't play amefuto forever."

Juuri cleared her throat. "Mihae-san, that's very far in the future," she reiterated calmly. "Who knows where they'll be after all that time. They're young men yet, barely more than boys."

Mihae tilted her head to the side, puzzled and disappointed that Juuri wouldn't join the teasing. "Yes, but they're good boys and they've been together this long already. Sometimes you meet the right one and that's all you need. Isn't that right, honey?" She grinned over at Shuuma.

"We were married in our thirties, Mihae. These boys are barely twenty," Shuuma replied diplomatically. Mihae pouted.

"I really don't know why you're all being so _pessimistic_. This is a new year, we're supposed to be looking towards the future! For me, Sena and Seijuuro-kun being together and happy is all I could wish. You make my son very happy, Seijuuro-kun, and I couldn't think of a better son-in-law," Mihae told him gently, her hand lying on his arm.

Shin stared at her, eyes widening minusculely. His face softened into his special kind of smile, the one that had Sena's heart beating fast and _happy_. Especially when Shin laid his giant hand over Mihae's.

"Thank you, Kobayakawa-san. Nothing would make me happier," he said earnestly. Mihae lit up like a little girl on her birthday.

"You'll have to get used to calling me Mama, like Sena does!" Mihae laughed. "Such a handsome young man. My son is so very lucky."

"I'm the lucky one."

"Oh jeez!" Sena gasped, sinking in his chair and blushing to his hairline. He had forgotten, for a blissful moment, the strange feeling he'd been having, and Shin's warning. He was just too giddy and embarrassed by his mother and Shin to remember.

For just a moment.

A tea cup setting down on the table too hard had the whole table flinching and turning to Juuri. She breathed through her nose, eyes closed. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked directly at her son.

"As I've said, we're getting ahead of ourselves. They're young yet and have duties and choices ahead of them. They're happy and young and in love _now_ , but mostly they're _young_." Her words were curt and short, her eyes never leaving her son's.

Shin dropped his hand away from Mihae and, at last, the Kobayakawa woman caught onto the less than warm atmosphere at the table. Seisuke reached over to put his hand on his wife, but she waved him away.

"We planned to light some sparklers and some other combustibles Seisuke indulges in each year. I'll have Hoshino get everything ready," Juuri said, her tone polite, but still a little icy.

"I'm afraid we'll be taking our leave," Shuuma replied just as politely and coolly, setting down his cup. Everyone stared at him, even his family. But his gaze was stern when he met Juuri's eyes. "I dislike pretense and I refuse to stay, or allow my family to stay, where we're not wanted."

"Shuuma!" Mihae gasped, hands covering her mouth.

"Dad!" Sena hissed in alarm.

Seisuke sighed and covered his face the same time Shin did.

"Excuse me? I did not think we gave the impression you were unwelcome," Juuri replied, looking offended.

Shuuma smiled slightly. "Oh, no, you did not. You were very hospitable. However, the very idea that my son may one day be your son-in-law seems to cause you a great deal of _agony_. If you cannot bear the thought of him being a part of your family, how much true respect do you have for him? Or for myself and my wife?"

Juuri got to her feet, hands on the table top. "I do not like your _implications_."

"I thought not. We'll call a cab," Shuuma said calmly, getting to his feet. Mihae got up so quickly her chair squeaked over the floor.

"Don't be preposterous. Hoshino can take you home," Juuri replied shortly.

"Juuri dear, please-" Seisuke murmured, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

" _Don't you call my husband preposterous_ ," Mihae exclaimed, teary-eyed. "You invited us here on a _lie_. This whole time, you thought my son, my _family_ , wasn't good enough for you? How… how could you be so polite and so _cruel_?" Shuuma reached out to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

Sena hurried to his feet, hands up in the air in supplication. "Mama, Dad, there's been a misunderstanding. Please, calm down."

"Not entirely," Shin interjected calmly from where he still sat. Sena looked over at him, eyes wide with shock and _hurt_.

"Son, you are not helping. That's not what Juuri means at all," Seisuke replied with a hand running through his hair.

"Then, _explain_ it to them. What's wrong with him, Mother? If it's not their middle class lack of breeding," Shin seethed, hands in white-knuckled fists on his lap.

"Him." Sena whispered, eyes wide in his suddenly pale as he stared at Juuri in dismay. "It's just… me?" Juuri glanced away, face as carefully blank as her son's.

"It's not appropriate for the heir of-"

The breath knocked out Sena like a Trident Tackle to the solar plexus. How ridiculous that it was the _mother_ that instigated the feeling now.

"It's because he's a _boy_?!" Mihae blurted, tears streaming down her face even as fury flashed in her usually kind brown eyes. "How dare you- It's the twenty-first century! In America, they can get married!"

"My wife takes our duty to the Shin name very seriously-" Seisuke attempted to soothe, hands waving in the air.

"I can speak for myself, Seisuke," Juuri snapped. She drew in a quick breath and pressed her hand to her forehead. "I'm sorry, Seisuke. I shouldn't have gotten angry."

"You should be apologizing to _Sena_ ," Shin shouted, finally rising and glaring in her direction.

For a short moment, Juuri and Seisuke both stared at their son, aghast and rattled at his outburst. Seisuke pulled himself together faster and frowned at Shin

"Don't you speak to your mother like that."

Shin scowled fierce and dark and Sena knew Shin wasn't going to back down now. He knew that face too well. The sick feeling surged up into his throat and he felt like vomiting at Shin's next words,

"This dinner was a ridiculous idea when you've _never_ approved of my relationship with Sena."

Sena barely recognized his own voice making the pathetic, pained noise that cracked through the air. His shaking hand covered his mouth and every generous and kind overture by the Shins towards Sena became tainted.

"Never?" he repeated, pained and shaky.

Shin looked away, knuckles braced on the table and shoulders tight around his ears. Sena turned to the older Shins, and neither could meet his eyes. Seisuke looked downright upset, but Juuri's stoic mask was guarding any feeling she might have. Like _disapproval_.

"But… why? I thought…" Sena breathed out, numb and lost.

"Sena, we do like you. You've been great for Seijuuro," Seisuke said with a tightness around his eyes. "I never thought my son would ever look at someone the way he looks at you."

Sena's mouth trembled when Juuri still looked away, her lips tightening into a thin, unhappy line.

"That doesn't matter to Mother, who expects a _biological_ child of mine," Shin explained in a voice sharp enough to cut.

Juuri's eyes flashed to her son's. "You have a duty to your name, Seijuuro. The Shin family is generations old and you're the last of the line. You can't just forsake your duty to your ancestors and your _history_ because of a college fling."

"You met father in college!"

"I knew my duty to this family when I married him!"

"It was _your choice!_ Not mine!"

"Don't do this in front of company!" Seisuke tried to interrupt.

"We should go, now," Shuuma added to Mihae, his eyes darting to Sena's grey face as he watched Juuri and Shin steadily shout louder and louder at each other.

Because of _him_.

"You already haven't chosen a _real_ profession, and we conceded to your wishes for your happiness! The least you can do to repay your family is to marry well and appropriately," Juuri continued, too involved in her argument to notice anything around her but Shin.

"You only conceded because you think I'm a disappointment to you!" Shin bellowed, his fist slamming on the table. Everyone jumped as dishes clattered. Sena darted forward and gripped Shin's arm.

"Seijuuro, calm down, you're going to say something you regret," Sena murmured, ignoring the tears filming his eyes. Shin glanced at him and something snapped in his gaze, something fierce and terrifying and had Sena's heart freezing. "No, Sei-"

Shin turned to his mother and all but snarled, "You're hurting the man I love because of _your_ failure. _Me._ "

Silence fell over them. A horrified fragile silence.

"How… Seijuuro-" Juuri gasped, her blanched face almost spectral. Her husband's grip on her arm was the only thing that kept her standing.

"Seijuuro, your mother doesn't think you're a _failure_. She- _we_ love you," Seisuke protested in a thick, choked voice.

"You both think I'm broken," Shin replied, eyes dark and voice hoarse. "I've been your failure the minute you knew I couldn't see your faces. The fact you could never have another child just made me more a _disappointment_."

"No, Seijuuro, no!" Juuri objected, trying to get past Seisuke to get to Shin. But Shin backed away and held up his hands, causing her freeze in place.

"Sena has never made me feel worthless. I've always been his equal, and he mine. The fact he's a man wouldn't have mattered if I hadn't already ruined your perfect image of what a Shin should be."

"Son, we don't-" Seisuke began. Shin interrupted, his eyes swinging to Sena's,

"I need to go."

Sena nodded and grabbed Shin's hand. "Of course. You can come home with us."

"Let's go," Shuuma murmured, leading his sniffling and horrorstruck wife away.

"Son, don't go now," Seisuke tried again.

"I'm going," Shin stated simply. He turned on his heel and left. But Sena paused, and looked back while Shin strode away.

Juuri slowly fell into her chair, a shaking hand over her mouth. She was the picture of devastated and Sena's heart, despite himself, went out to her.

"I know…" Sena started. Both Shins jerked their gaze to him. Neither looked as though they blamed him in the slightest, only appalled and drained, which gave him the courage to continue. "I know you don't approve of me… 'cause I'm a male, but… try… try to accept me? Because no one could love Seijuuro more than me, I promise," Sena whispered. "And he… he loves _you_ , so please don't make him choose." He bowed, and ran after Shin and his parents.

Juuri's soft sob in his wake had Sena biting down hard on his lip to keep from crying himself.

* * *

They got to the Kobayakawa residence a long, silent car ride later. The whole time Mihae was sobbing quietly into Shuuma's shoulder. Shuuma merely kept his hold tight around his wife, his too solemn gaze on the landscape zipping by. Shin sat ramrod straight in his seat, hands on his knees gripping too tightly. He barely even reacted to Sena reaching over to lay his hand over Shin's. But he didn't pull away.

Shuuma murmured a soft good night to the younger men before leading Mihae to their room. Sena and Shin slowly made their way up the stairs to Sena's old childhood room. It looked the same as it always did, bare patches on the wall and shelves from the things he'd taken to his new apartment. Not that they cared much for the décor right then.

Sena sunk onto the bed, hands lax in his lap, and eyes unseeing in front of him. Shin stood in the middle of the room, hands in fists at his sides and body so tense it fairly vibrated. Neither spoke, emotions running too high.

Until a small, choked sound left a throat.

Sena blinked, hand rising to his neck. But it hadn't been him.

Another sound, and another, and Sena's eyes rose to Shin's broad back…

…and shaking shoulders.

"Sei… oh, god, Seijuuro, hey, _hey_ ," Sena gasped, stumbling to his feet and throwing his arms around Shin's waist. He pressed his cheek to Shin's back, his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth trembling. "It's gonna be okay, Sei. I promise, it's gonna be okay."

Arms fell over Sena's and held his embrace even tighter around Shin's shuddering torso.

"I…" Shin choked on the word and nothing else got loose other than more hoarse and raspy sobs.

Sena gritted his teeth and nodded. "I know, Sei."

They stood in the middle of the dim, unlit room. Outside, somewhere, people were lighting firecrackers, but the cracks and booms were distant and unnoticed. After Shin's shaking subsided into a subtle, constant vibrating, Sena pulled away. He caught Shin's hand to pull him gently back onto the bed.

Shin fell to the bed heavily, all his weight behind it. Sena sat with him, then scrambled to the wall and dragged Shin back with him. Shin blinked, nonplussed, but let Sena nudge him down to his lap. Shin pressed his damp face to Sena's jeans, his hand reaching out to wrap around Sena's ankle, just barely peeking out between the cuff of his pants and the top of his socks. Fingers sifted through Shin's silky hair, over and over, lulling and gentle. Tears traced down the strong planes of his face, but he was mostly silent now.

Sena wasn't sure which was worse, honestly. But he kept carding his fingers through Shin's hair, the way Shin had liked after the roller coasters- when nausea had him curled up on his dorm bed as they watched rugby.

It was a long time before they fell asleep, Sena curled around Shin's back and gripping him tightly around the waist.

Midnight passed by unnoticed for two different houses that night.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** Wow, it's been forever since I've updated over here! I focused on a couple E-rated chapters and totally forgot to post up Sena's birthday chapter! ^^;; (In my defense, though, the birthday chapter was a collab with two artists and I have no idea how to post up pictures in stories? Can we? I'll post it up around February 14th when the chapter is completed. The birthday chapter was a "teaser" chapter.) I HOPE Y'ALL ENJOYED THE DRAMA, BAES! I'll update the other chapters soon!_


	24. Choices

**Do they ever cook together? Who cleans the most? Who is the messiest?** BONUS: **How do they support the other, even when the other doesn't ask for it?**

* * *

After New Year's, the winter break snuck up on them too quickly. The flurry of exams and the Rice Bowl finals had everyone close to them, including themselves, too busy to interrogate them about the Disaster ™ of that night. Enma and Saikyoudai had been the finalists for the Rice Bowl, and Saikyoudai had sealed the win- sweeping both the spring little tournament _and_ the Rice Bowl into their clutches that year. Then, there was a mass exodus of almost all of Sena's friends moving from dormitories to family homes once the last grades came in. Although everyone knew _something_ had happened on New Year's Day when they came over for the last minute hotpot dinner, none had found the right time to ask yet. But now everyone was home; and the first mutters and fast-paced whispers of concern really began.

Because Shin did not return to his family estate as he always had. In fact, no one could remember the last time he'd gone home for the weekend, something he'd attempted as often as possible in the past three years of college.

Almost every one of their friends came by the apartment just to side-eye Shin sitting comfortably on the couch reading with Oh-Sada the cat purring on his lap. (Kakiko and Bonnkun, a.k.a. James Bond, often found perches on Shin before too long as well.) Or they gaped in disbelief as Shin expertly putzed about the kitchen and brought out enough perfectly-made and (surprisingly to everyone not a resident of the trio's apartment) delicious meals. Monta and Riku had gotten so accustomed to Shin's presence in their abode that, by then, they barely even noticed that he… just… didn't _leave_. It took 'till the end of January, well into the first week of February to notice that the two duffel bags he'd brought one day after finals had been _his belongings_. In their defense, it _had_ only been two duffel bags and he hadn't even brought any furniture with him. And, also in their defense, Shin was… well… the ideal roommate. He didn't throw raving parties or have a ton of guests over (Sakuraba and Takami were his only occasional guests and they were friends with everyone there). He didn't blast music or leave his laundry hanging for days from the balcony (Monta and Sena did that _all the time_ ). He was so the opposite of messy, he cleaned up after _Riku_ , the motherhen and nitpicker of the trio. (It had probably taken Riku so long to notice anything because he'd been so relieved not to be the only one nagging the other two to pick the _fuck_ up after themselves.) Shin took out the trash without being asked and washed the dishes within an hour of using them most of the time (Sena was the second most often dishwasher, and not just because his boyfriend was the one cooking all the time.)

The worst Shin did was exercise in really weird places around the apartment and forget to wear his shirt about 95% of the time (that wouldn't have been a problem either, but _Sena_ managed to make it weird for everyone but Shin).

It finally came to a head a week or so into February. The decadent aroma of broiling chicken and garlic-laden stir-fry wafted through the air. Monta was laid out on the couch, controller in hand and occasionally calling out in increasingly whiney tones for when the food would be done.

Shin had started ignoring him about fifteen minutes ago.

Sena was smiling absently as he carefully set pickles and radishes out on a plate. Already washed and waiting fruit were in a bowl to be cut up and put in the fridge for dessert. At his side, close enough in the minuscule kitchen that their elbows and hips bumped, Shin tossed the glistening, bright vegetables in the wok. It wasn't the first time they'd cooked together, but the experience hadn't lost its shine for Sena.

He loved the awkward lack of space. The small almost smiles every time they bumped too hard or pressed too close; not always on accident. The sweat that beaded Shin's upper lip and the contentment that softened his boyfriend's stern features. He loved the scent of whatever they were cooking slowly filling the room and enveloping them, making his stomach rumble and a silly laugh to escape. He liked the way they moved in harmony, sometimes without even exchanging a word, so in tune were they to the other's body language and movements. He loved this feeling of something permanent and _good_ building under them, between them, erasing what was lingering from the Disaster ™ a month ago. There was a foundation for a future in these moments, a future he _knew_ he wanted.

Sharing his bed every night was still a little weird and stifling, and it _freaked him out_ when he walked into his room to see Shin calmly folding his underpants to put away. But this?

There were nothing complicated or strange about these moments in the kitchen, side-by-side.

"There're a few movies playing you might like," Sena brought up casually while cleaning up the pickle and radish packaging.

Shin carefully turned off the burners and began to neatly plate up everyone's dinners. "I trust you to know what I'll like," he said affably. Sena grinned over at him.

"One's a weird foreign film. Subtitles, small cast, and rave reviews about landscapes, the usual."

Shin's mouth twitched upwards and his fleeting glance Sena's way was heartwarmingly _fond_. The shorter man couldn't help but preen- just a _little_. "It does sound like something I wouldn't hate."

Sena burst into laughter. "High praise from a movie hater. I was thinking… we could go next… Tuesday?" he prompted nervously.

Shin abruptly frowned, then his face cleared with some sort of inner revelation. When he looked away, mouth covered by his arm and the ladle hanging limply from his hand, Sena frowned quizzically.

"What is it?"

"I can't go that day."

Sena pouted in disappointment and some confusion. They had never made a big deal of the date before, sure, but Shin hadn't told him he'd be doing anything. Shin was _really_ good about keeping Sena updated on his plans. He was also really good at keeping up with important dates and holidays. How could he forget such an obvious one?!

"Why- but- Can't you change your plans just this once?" Sena asked, anxiously counting out chopsticks.

"I could, but you'll be very disappointed. And so will the kids."

Sena blinked and stared over at Shin's face, now uncovered and almost _smirking_ at Sena.

"The kids? _OH! The kids!_ Wait-" A lightbulb dinged in Sena's head. "You planned a Valentine's date already with the kids from the center, didn't you!?" he exclaimed, grinning in excitement. It had been _weeks_ since he'd been able to go play with them, or see Shin wielding the whistle while being used like a jungle gym. It was definitely one of his favorite things to do and he missed those afternoons. At Shin's silent nod, Sena's cheeks felt stretched too tight and ready to crack at the width of his smile. "You jerk!"

"I could tell them you ruined their surprise and didn't want to come-" Shin replied indifferently, turning back to the dinner plates and setting them on a tray (wait, when did they buy a tray? Did _Shin_ buy that tray?!).

Sena flailed his hands around, spluttering indignantly. "Don't you dare! Of course I want to go! It's much better than the movies!"

"We could do the movies afterwards? We should have time for it in the evening," Shin conceded, still looking smug around the edges. Sena laughed outright and took the tray away from Shin.

"It sounds like the perfect Valentine's day. I'll get tickets ahead of time. Now, let's eat before Monta starts chewing the couch."

"I WILL! WATCH ME! What were ya guys doin' in there, anyway? Flirting while the food gets cold?" Monta taunted, clearing off the coffee table and shutting down the game system. "YO! RIKU! DINNER'S UP!"

"COMING!" echoed Riku's voice from his room where he was probably Skyping his parents (who were in Morocco for the holidays visiting his father's family).

"Just planning Valentine's Day. Are you doing anything?" Sena said, radiating happiness and still smiling goofily. Monta narrowed his eyes at them.

"Living with a couple sucks." He blinked and stared between them, even ignoring the plate Sena set down before he and Shin knelt on the opposite side of the table on their cushions. "Waitaminnit."

Riku entered just then, looking sleepy with his hair mussy and flattened on one side. His schedule the past year had been hard- part-time job, full-time student, football assistant captain, plus weekends administrative-interning at a police office had taken its toll on him. He rubbed at his face, slouched into a lazy, criss-cross seated position, and dragged his plate closer.

"Sorry to make everyone wait. My parents woke me up from a nap."

"It's not a problem," Sena quickly replied, growing uneasy and twitching under Monta's swiftly-growing-suspicious stare down.

"Uh, yeah, thanks. This looks good, Seijuuro. Did I hear you knock earlier?" Riku asked, ignoring Monta who was slapping at his arm.

"Yes, your clothes were still hanging over the balcony. I folded them and set them in Sena's room since you were busy. Sena and my clothes would have mildewed if I waited," Shin explained with a shrug, starting in on his dinner nonchalantly.

Riku froze and gaped, his chopsticks hovering in the air and food falling on his lap. Monta's slapping got harder, rocking him on his ass.

" _He moved in!_ Riku, he moved in and we _max didn't notice_!" Monta shouted.

Sena sunk low, face beet-red and cheeks bulging with stir-fry. Shin looked up, politely puzzled. "I've been here since classes ended."

"What?!" Monta exclaimed, wildly gesticulating index finger waving between the couple.

"Oh… my god. He _has_ been here since classes ended," Riku said dumbly.

Shin frowned harder. "Yes, I just said that-"

"Wait, it wasn't- it wasn't exactly planned! It just sorta happened!" Sena interrupted shrilly, waving him hands in front of him placatingly. Shin looked between the three roommates, bewilderment growing.

"If money's the issue, I could pay rent," Shin offered slowly. "I'll need to find a job first, but-"

"Find a job?!" Sena shouted in surprise.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" Monta hollered in disbelief. "You have a mansion!"

"Weren't you even going to _ask_ before just moving your boyfriend in? This is a roommate conversation, Sena!" Riku snapped at his teammate, rubbing his temples and getting oil from stir-fry in his hair having forgotten the chopsticks he still held in his hand.

"I didn't just move him in, and Shin what are you _talking_ about, getting a job? You do not need to pay rent-"

"If he's _living_ here, yes, he does!" Monta exclaimed, flailing his hands around in agitation.

"Of course I'll take fiscal responsibility," Shin agreed stoutly.

"Wait, we don't even know if he can. The lease is for _three_ , not _four_. I'm not getting kicked out because you two decided to become joined at the fucking hip!" Riku retorted, tossing his chopsticks on his plate in disgust and rubbing at his hair. "We're supposed to discuss these things!"

"Yeah, max not cool! You can't just do it without asking, Sena. I mean, I like you fine, Shin, but doing this without even talking to us about it is max shitty friendship. Very anti-brocode, bro," Monta backed Riku up, arms crossed over his chest and breathing bull-like through his nose.

"No, it's really not like that! Shin is _not_ going to move in-"

"I… suppose I could find my own apartment-" Shin said softly, eyes on his hands. Sena squeaked in shock and set a comforting hand on Shin's arm.

"No, of course you don't need your own apartment, Seijuuro."

"Oh, so you're gonna move out without talking about it with us, too? Real nice, Sena," Riku sneered.

Monta blinked in shock and then gasped. "HE IS?!"

"NO, I'M NOT!" Sena cried, slamming his hands on the table. "Everyone, BE QUIET!"

The three men sitting around him leaned back in astonishment as confusion-induced rage had Sena raising his voice. After a few huffing breaths, Sena raised his eyes and scowled at his roommates.

"You guys _know_ New Year's Eve did not go well. Seijuuro is having problems with his family, and I didn't want to push during classes. Being my _friends_ , you shouldn't have a problem with me allowing my boyfriend of _two years_ to stay here until he can sort out his life. _Right?_ " he gritted out. Monta and Riku nodded mutely. "Thank you. I _am_ sorry we didn't talk about it, but it just sorta… I happened. I promise, it wasn't a planned thing."

"Uh, okay. Uh, sorry, man," Monta muttered, rubbing his nose bashfully. Even Riku looked shamefaced as he shrugged with affected carelessness.

Sena took time to inhale and exhale slowly before turning on Shin. "What do you mean, you want your own apartment and a job?"

"I can't continue going to school on my parents' money. I can't even talk to them. I'm dropping out for a semester to save up money and apply for a football scholarship for the fall."

Everyone's jaw dropped.

" _What!_ " The three roommates exclaimed, their voices ringing loud enough to shake the plates on the table.

"What the _hell_ happened at that dinner!?" Riku demanded, flabbergasted.

"You can't drop out the semester before your _last year_ , Seijuuro! What are you thinking!?" Sena yelped, hands waving around again. "Not because- not because of-" he choked on the words, face paling drastically as his eyes filled with pain.

Shin grabbed Sena's trembling hands. "This is _not_ because of you."

"Y-yes, it _is_ ," Sena disagreed, shaking his head as his shoulders tightened around his ears. He visibly shrunk in front of their eyes. "If- If your mom approved of me, you wouldn't have had that fight."

"She doesn't approve of you?" Riku repeated incredulous and offended at once on Sena's behalf.

"But… she _loves_ you, dude! She sent you free clothes and Shin's baby pictures because you said you liked them so much! Like- what the hell?!" Monta blurted.

"It's because I'm a male-"

The outraged cries from his friends had him flinched and Shin sighing.

"Not necessarily. It's the fact my mother has a problem with _all_ the choices I've made. You were just one more that didn't fit in her plan for me, Sena," Shin corrected heavily.

"I don't see a huge fucking difference. This isn't the 1800's. You don't need to procreate to carry on a fucking lineage. That's what it's really about, isn't it? It's because you two can't make more Shins," Riku noted astutely while Monta just gaped in baffled fury.

"Rich people are fucking weird," Monta muttered.

Shin nodded. Sena sighed softly, "I can't blame her, though. I've seen their family tree and how much money they have. I've seen their home. That's a lot of responsibility and you don't even have cousins."

"My _life_ shouldn't be dictated by my family's wealth or my _mother's_ disappointment in me," Shin retorted harshly. His eyes were dark and his mouth white at the edges from how tautly he held himself. No matter his words, the fact his mother had so blatantly made her disappointment clear was killing him.

"Sei, she _loves_ you. You need to talk to them. When there aren't guests watching, and when you've both calmed down. Don't decide anything huge while you're still in pain, Sei. Dropping out of OU to get a scholarship, spending so much energy and time on making your own money out of _pride_ , that's not right. You love each other and you can make it right again," Sena advised gently and urgently, both hands on Shin's arm now and his gaze earnest.

Shin's nostrils flared before he turned away.

"I think… I think pride's all a man's got sometimes. I'm with Shin," Monta mumbled, ducking Sena's furious eyes.

"I'm with Shin just because getting bitchy over you having a dick pisses me off. Who needs their stupid money?" Riku scoffed, eyes flinty. "I've got lots of connections, I can help you find a good job," he added to Shin.

The bigger man nodded once, shoulders leaking out their tension. "Thanks."

"No, don't you encourage him! Don't you do this to yourself, Seijuuro. You need to make up with your family and stay in school. You'll miss out on your first chance at a draft if you start late!" Sena pointed out.

Shin shrugged. "I could get drafted the same time as you if I wait an entire year."

Sena got to his feet, hands in fists shaking at his sides. Shin looked up at him, startled and mouth parted. Rage warred with tears in Sena's eyes.

"I think you're being a stupid _idiot_. Don't throw away your future because of _me_. Don't throw away your _family_ because of me! Do you think I want this burden!? Do you think I _want_ to watch you struggle, or watch you see all your classmates move on without you?"

"Maybe this isn't all about you," Shin said sharply. Sena flinched back and then stood his ground, scowling just as angrily as Shin.

"Like _hell_ it isn't. Like _hell_ I could be in this relationship anymore when I'm the reason for the stupidest thing you've ever done!"

A pin could've dropped at the silence that fell. Riku and Monta stared between them, eyes bouncing like ping-pong balls between the two motionless men.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Shin asked, voice choked and rough.

Sena glared at him, mindless of the hot rush of tears on his cheeks. "If you don't _listen_ to me about this, if you drop out, yes. Yes, I will. I will _not_ be your- your soapbox! You grand friggin' _statement_ against your mother. I'm _better_ than that!" Sena shouted furiously. "If you can't swallow down your pride and talk to your family the right way, then…then we're done."

Shin got to his feet, took in a deep, slow breath, and _scowled_ at Sena. Fury had his dark gaze flashing, but Sena glared back without flinching this time.

"I don't appreciate your ultimatum."

"I don't appreciate your lack of understanding!"

"You know what it means to have pride-"

"Yeah, and I learned my lesson! You were there, you _saw_ me take the bench that day! I learned that giving into my pride, into my insecurities, is was made the people around me hurt! And that's what you're doing now!" Sena exclaimed, throwing out his arm.

Shin looked away with a loud 'tch'. "I'm going to Sakuraba's." He turned towards Sena's room, footsteps heavy and spine stiff. Sena yelled wordlessly and ran his hands through his hair.

"FINE! Run away from me like you ran away from your mother!" he snapped.

 _Oh shit_ crossed all three faces the moment Sena said that parting taunt. They all flinched as Shin slammed his open palm against the wall. It didn't quite make a hole, but the thin drywall cracked and buckled under the force of it.

"I'm n-not apologizing for that," Sena forced out. He looked towards Riku and Monta, both frozen in place and looking like they regretted _everything_. "I'm going to my parents. Or Mamori's. I don't even care."

He didn't even bother going to his room. Just stuffed his feet into his shoes and grabbed the nearest coat on the wall- Monta opened his mouth, then shook his head and gave up. He'd just use Sena's coat if he needed to go anywhere. The door slammed behind Sena and the sounds of Shin opening and slamming drawers in the room had them grimacing.

"So… uh… next time someone appears in our house for a month, I'm just not gonna say nuthun'," Monta mumbled, poking at the concealing food on his plate.

"You can say that again," Riku agreed fervently.

...

Sena gulped, throat catching painfully, as he stared up at the door in front of him. His breath clouded the air in front of his lips, and his teeth chattered, but the cold was far preferable than what lay on the other side of the door. Probably. Hopefully not by the end, but most likely. He groaned and swiped at his hand with his gloved hands. The wool scratched at his freezing skin, an absently noted irritant. With a quick glance behind him, to the long driveway cleared of snow and the water-less fountain glazed in hoarfrost, Sena took a deep, bracing breath of winter-y chill air and raised a hand. The first knock was too quiet. The second try was better, but the wood of the door was so thick, he had no idea if his cushioned hands made a loud enough impact to be heard. Grumbling under his breath, he scouted around and finally found the button to ring the bell. By the volume of the ringing he could make out, it was probably wise he'd rung it instead of hoping someone had heard his knocking.

He bounced up and down on his feet, clapping his hands against his arms as his teeth clattered in his head. At least while he'd been jogging up that driveway, he'd been warmed by the exertion. Now, his light sweat was freezing on his skin and the wind whistling off the stone façade of the building had him shivering violently.

 _Finally_ \- too soon, too fast!- the door opened to show a wide-eyed Hoshino staring at him.

"H-Hey, Hoshino-san. A-Are th-the Sh-Shins h-home?" Sena stammered through the clacking of his teeth.

"Y-Yes, yes, of course, Kobayakawa-sama. Please, come in at once," Hoshino all but ordered briskly, ushering the smaller man in and closing the door. He reached for Sena's winter things to hang in the closet. "You should come sit in the kitchen a moment and drink some tea. I'll take word of your presence after you've warmed some."

Sena smiled at the offer, but shook his head. "H-Honestly, I'd lose my n-nerve if I w-wait t-too long. Thank you, though."

Hoshino frowned in concern, but acquiesced with a regal nod of his head. "If you insist, Kobayakawa-sama. I'll get that tea ready for you. If you wish to leave in a hurry, I'll have it in a thermos for you to take with you."

"O-Oh wow, uh, thanks. Really. But I shouldn't d-do that," Sena protested.

"This time _I_ shall insist. Please, follow me to the sitting room. The Shins will be with you shortly." Sena followed after Hoshino, tongue-tied and still half-frozen.

After making sure Sena was set as close to the gas fireplace as possible, and that the flames were flickering merrily behind the glass among the fake wood, Hoshino bowed and left the room. Sena settled against the thick, comfy cushions of the couch and glanced around sadly. He'd come to this room a few times, not as often as Shin to his apartment or his parents' house, nor as often as he to Shin's dorm, but often enough. Enough to have built up a few good memories alongside the first. Of laughing with Seisuke over pictures of Shin, and enjoying Juuri's kind, inquisitive questions into his interests and studies between shortbread cookies he'd spent too much money on.

The picture of Shin wearing the Pikachu backpack had a place of honor next to his bed, set in a large, framed collage of sorts of his friends and family. The first time Sena had pointed it out, Shin had snorted in amusement, but didn't ask for him to put it out of sight.

The sound of footsteps, the familiar clack of heels among them, had Sena jumping to his feet and rubbing his sweaty palms on his thighs. This time, his shivers weren't on account of the cold. The door re-opened and Seisuke and Juuri entered without pause or surprise on their faces. Of course Hoshino was too professional to have withheld just who was in their sitting room. But the lack of any emotion at his expense had him grimacing inwardly. They looked like he was just a nuisance rather than a beloved guest. A stark difference from the last times he'd come- though maybe it was all in his head...?

"Sena, my boy, how are you? You walked here from the subway?" Seisuke greeted with a mere shadow of his usual cheer. He reached out his hand and Sena raised his automatically, smile twitching upwards as Seisuke's big, warm hands encased his in a hearty shake.

"Ran, actually. Sorry, I kinda… trespassed a bit. Seijuuro told me about the back gate last year, when you allowed my friends to stay. I just… um, used it? Sorry," Sena told them with an anxious little chuckle as he rubbed the back of his ruddy neck.

"It's not a problem, Sena, of course not," Seisuke assured him gently. Sena slumped in relief.

"It is if this is something that will happen regularly," Juuri stated firmly.

Sena flinched under the cold sharpness of her tone. _February ain't got nothing on Shin Juuri_ , he thought.

"Juuri, please," Seisuke murmured to her, his hands dropping Sena's.

Her mouth tightened slightly, but she didn't speak again. Sena squinted a bit, taking in her general appearance. She looked put together, sure, the same nice, classy clothes and perfectly done hair. But… her make-up was missing. And the lines around her mouth and eyes were deeper, her whole body taut and stiff in a way that wasn't _usual_. She and Shin had the same straight-backed, perfect posture, but five years of observing Shin made it easy now to tell the difference between good posture and just trying to holding herself together.

"You're so much like him… or I guess, he's so much like _you_ ," Sena said aloud, sad and small, smile pinched at the corners.

Both Shins started in shock and glanced at him with widened eyes.

"Did Seijuuro send you? Is he with you?" Seisuke asked desperately. Now that Sena wasn't so _terrified,_ he could note that Seisuke looked even rougher than his wife. He wore his emotions like most people wore clothes. He was sloppy with them- his eyes bloodshot, his broad shoulders permanently slumped, facial hair in uneven patches under his jaw, the unhappiness like an ill-fitting coat on his big frame.

Sena shook his head. "No, he's being stubborn. He's too upset to forgive you and I… I don't really blame him."

Juuri's mouth pursed, but her black eyes looked pained. "You wouldn't understand-"

"Of course I don't," Sena interrupted brusquely. Again, with the surprised staring. Sena would have been annoyed if he wasn't feeling the same. "I don't know what it's like to have this much money. I don't know what it's like to be the only son in a family with a _legacy_. I also… I also don't know what it's like to marry into a family like this and feel like I've failed it."

Juuri blanched, fingers pressing to her pale lips. Seisuke reached up to cup his wife's shoulder.

"I talked to… to my mom and Mamori-neechan. Between the two of them, well, I'm probably being presumptuous, but I don't think _Shin's_ failure is the problem."

"My son is _not_ a failure!" Juuri snapped, blooms of color on her white face. Relief hit Sena like a punch to the solar plexus, relief in knowing that somehow, the women in his life had managed to hit the nail on the head about jsut where Juuri's upset had stemmed from.

"We've never thought he was a disappointment. Juuri misspoke out of anger, but she never meant it that way. We are so, so proud of him," Seisuke agreed fervently. "If he'd just- We've tried so many times to contact him, but Haruto and Ichiro both refused to help once Seijuuro told them to."

"We couldn't… we couldn't call you or your family… not after what happened. I have never been more ashamed of my behavior," Juuri added, head bowing.

Sena bowed quickly on reflex. He would never be used to being on the receiving end of that kind of respect. "N-No, it's- I get it. I think my parents appreciate that, too. But… Seijuuro… he's about to make a huge mistake. I can't… I can't stand by and let him make a choice that could ruin his life because he thinks you don't approve of him. That you don't approve of _me_ ," Sena explained. He wrung his hands, heart beating too fast against his sternum. He licked his dry lips with his eyes glued to the floor.

"I can't be his 'either or' choice. I can't be his everything, because that's… not right. Not to either of us. He doesn't see it now, but I can. He deserves to have as many people who love him, and support him, as he can get. I can't be the reason why he loses people dear to him. I know… I know I'm a man, that I can't bear children for the Shin name, and all I want to do is run after a ball for the rest of my life. I know my family is small and we don't have any money. Not really. I know I'm not especially smart, either. I'm probably the worst catch a guy like Seijuuro could get-"

"Sena-" Seisuke started. At his side, Juuri looked heartbroken and speechless.

Sena looked up, blinking rapidly to soothe the sting in his eyes as he laughed awkwardly. "No, no, I'm not- I'm not done. I'm just being honest. Looking from the outside in, right? But… I'm not done! 'Cuz you see… I'm all those things, all those _not good enough_ things, but I _love him_. I love him so much, I'd rather lose him forever then let him make a choice that'll break his heart. And it _will_. He loves you guys so much. This idea that he's a disappointment, that he's a _failure_? It's tearing him up. I know it is! I can't… I can't let him live the rest of his life refusing to talk to you and b- _believing_ it! I can't!"

Tears fell in earnest now. Loud, heavy sniffles heaved his shoulders and his wobbly smile quivered even more. Despite his blurry eyesight and their startled expressions, he met their eyes, his gaze darting between them desperately.

"Please, please, don't make him choose between us. I just want to love him and make him happy. So please, please let me take care of your son for the rest of my life. I promise that I'll be enough, more than enough!" He squeezed his eyes shut and bowed at the waist, hands in shaking fists at his sides. Hot, stinging tears slid down his face and chin, but he choked down the sounds and hoped- just _hoped_. "I promise. I _promise_ I'll make you proud to call me your son-in-law one day."

"Oh, Sena…" Juuri whispered softly.

Sena squeaked as meaty, buff arms wrapped around him, jerking him upright and pressing him into a wide, thick chest. The smell of expensive floral shampoo and green tea enveloped them as Juuri placed one hand on his back and her lips to his forehead.

"Don't cry, son. Of course that's all we could've wanted for our son," Seisuke told him gruffly, his own deep voice choked with sobs. "We're both _so_ proud he fell in love with a boy like you."

"I am so sorry. I never meant for either of you to doubt your worth. You were right. It was always _me_ ," Juuri murmured.

"You're a successful businesswoman, and your husband and son love you. I don't get how you could think you've failed anyone." Sena sniffled loudly.

Juuri smiled sadly and stepped back. Seisuke reluctantly let Sena back on his feet, but affectionately rubbed Sena's wild tangle of hair.

"I married into this family knowing exactly what my duties were," she smiled at Seisuke when he made a loud scoffing noise. "I know you never truly agreed, my dear. But you're just too European. When I… when Seijuuro was born, late into our marriage, I had to admit that another child wouldn't be possible. I was so focused on _my_ failure to my own self-imposed duties, I failed to notice Seijuuro's condition. He was sixteen before we even got him diagnosed properly. He became so withdrawn..." Juuri shook her head and looked away. "He was always our serious little boy, but I let my weakness affect him. He saw too much and blamed himself. My son thinks he's a disappointment to his family because I _let_ him." Her shaking hand covered her face and her last, strangled words were muffled-

"I made him feel like his condition was a burden to me. I've been a terrible mother and it's too late to take all those years back."

Seisuke pulled her down to his shoulder, his arm around her shoulders and the other cupping the back of her head. Somehow they managed to fit, with the proud, tall woman tucking her face against her husband's shirt. "No, my dear wife, this was not just you. I was just as responsible for my family's happiness and I let you both down. I depend on you for so much, I couldn't fathom the idea you needed me just as much. Or that Seijuuro wouldn't turn out strong and proud and wonderful just like his mother. He did, Juuri, you raised a good man and I never thought you let me or my family down."

Juuri nodded. "I know, I _know_."

Sena dropped his gaze to the ground and wrung out the bottom of his sweater. Obviously this was a conversation they'd had before, one that Juuri still struggled to absorb and Seisuke struggled to get through. Like Seijuuro, Juuri was a perfectionist. Always trying to be better than her personal best. The fact that she couldn't fight her own biology, or that she couldn't by sheer force of will 'cure' her son while being too proud to 'give up' and change her personal goals… it just seemed so... _sad_.

Sena cleared his throat lightly, but kept his gaze on his shoes. "It's not too late," he said when their murmurings ceased.

"Wh-what?" Juuri asked in confusion.

"You said it was too late… that you were a bad mother and now it's too late. I don't… I don't you were as bad as you think, just like Shin-san said," Sena reminded her, with a jerk of his chin towards Seisuke. "But it's not too late to make what happened last month better. Go talk to Seijuuro. Tell him the truth." He raised his eyes with a tiny, encouraging smile. "Show him that it's okay to put your pride away and admit you're wrong and _apologize_. Being a parent doesn't mean having to be perfect all the time. It just means…"

He trailed off and imagined his own family. His tiny, loving, accepting family. With their smiles and warm hugs and open door for any and all of his friends. Their joy in his accomplishments and their faith in his choices.

"It just means loving unconditionally, right?"

Juuri and Seisuke looked at each other. Seisuke grinned broadly at her and her shoulders straightened. "Yes, you're right."

"Now, if only we can get Seijuuro to talk to us," Seisuke added, laughing boisterously as he ran his hand through his hair.

Sena blinked and dug into his pocket. "Actually, I think I have a way to get him to be in the same room as you within an hour."

"What? Really?" Seisuke gaped. Juuri blinked once and then understanding began to dawn.

"You… You didn't tell him you were coming here," she realized without a doubt.

"Nope," Sena agreed, typing up a new text message. "We had a fight and he moved into Sakuraba's. He's about a mile away from your front gate."

"You had a fight?" Juuri and Seisuke demanded at the same time, both looking aghast.

Sena's smile looked a little forced, and his phone chirruped as the message sent. "Well, yeah… but we'll figure it out… I think." They stared at him blankly. He rubbed the back of his neck and laughed awkwardly with shifty eyes darting around the sitting room. "Honestly, coming here without telling him probably made it worse, so if he drags me out of here, you know why?"

"Maybe you should tell us exactly what happened," Seisuke suggested worriedly.

"I don't believe we should interfere, my love. My actions are most likely the root of their rift," Juuri told him with a knowing look Sena's way. His sudden blush and head-ducking confirmed it.

"Ah. Yes, you're right. Maybe I should tell Hoshino to bring the tea. Are you still cold, Sena?"

Sena blinked at them, perplexed. "I- uh… not so much? But I like tea?"

The next twelve or so minutes paused in an awkward not-quite silence over tea. Hoshino had lingered in the room longer than Sena expected, his gaze at the Shins vaguely reproachful before Seisuke assured them they had apologized to Sena. With a satisfied nod, Hoshino had left with the tea tray and Sena had boggled after him while the Shins chortled under their breath. The broken small talk revolved around the Rice Bowl and Sena's final grades, Sena carefully skirting Shin's major announcement to drop out to keep them from getting defensive, and the Shins carefully skirting the fact Sena was still sniffling.

When Juuri filled his second cup of tea, Sena froze, shoulders tightening, as he winced all over. Just barely, the Shin adults heard the strange rhythmic thudding sound coming from outside.

"What in the world?" Juuri murmured, turning towards the hall and setting down the teapot carefully.

"It sounds like a helicopter… Were we expecting company?"

"You have friends come over in helicopters?!" Sena squawked. He shook his head. "I mean, no, that's Seijuuro."

Seisuke and Juuri stared at him. "Seijuuro can fly a helicopter?" Shin's father questioned in numb disbelief.

"Ah… no…"

A door slammed open and all three jumped in their seats. The thudding sound resumed until it was right outside the sitting room and the door flung the rest of the way open. They all got to their feet at the same time, the Shins looking bewildered and Sena merely resigned. In the doorway, a furious, disheveled, sweaty-faced Shin stood, chest heaving, hat and gloves missing, wearing only a jacket he'd forgotten to zip closed over his hoodie. Sena waved uneasily from where he stood next to Juuri. Shin's eyes narrowed in on the tense body language, then zoomed in on Sena's face. He squinted harder, then scowled so ferociously even his parents paled.

" _Have you been crying_?" he growled past too-fast pants.

"Uh… um… a little?" Sena confessed, eyes darting to Juuri's shocked face. "But it wasn't an entirely bad- _HIIIIIIIIIIIII_!" He shrieked and scrambled back when Shin was suddenly in his personal space, one hand gripped too tightly around his upper arm.

"Seijuuro!" Seisuke protested, laying a hand on his son's shoulder.

The dark-eyed glare had his father stepping back with hands raised. "Haven't you upset him _enough_?" He turned back to Sena. "Why are you here?"

Sena 'eep'ed when that rage focused on him. If only he didn't feel so guilty about going behind Shin's back, he'd have that spine he had the other day during their fight.

 _Fine! Run away from me like you ran away from your parents!_ _I'm not apologizing for that!_

Sena glanced away and gulped. "Because I didn't like the ultimatum either," he said softly.

Shin dropped his hand away from Sena and spun away. His hands curled into fists at his sides. "So you thought forcing _your_ way was better?"

"Seijuuro, listen, I needed to come here and so did you. If you could just listen to them, hear what your mother has to say-"

" _I don't want to!_ You had no right!" Shin shouted. Sena jerked back, eyes wide and heart stopping.

"Shin Seijuuro. You'll stop this tantrum _right now_ ," Juuri snapped. Her authoritative voice rang out, clear and bell-like, causing both boys in the room to wince in shame. "Sena was right to come. He deserved an apology from me."

Shin jerked his head up to stare at her, his mouth hanging open. Juuri's stoic features coolly stared him down a moment longer. Until the mask cracked and her mouth trembled. She took a deep breath, stepped out of her heels, and placed her hands on her thighs. Then, Shin Juuri slowly sank to her knees. Seisuke blinked and thudded down next to her, flinching at the cracking of his knees to the hardwood floor, then put his hands on his knees, so that together, they bowed their heads. They didn't go as far as to bow their foreheads to the ground, but it had just as impactful a meaning to Shin.

"I'm so sorry, son."

"We both are. We both let you down," Seisuke added, his hand reaching over to cover his wife's.

Shin stood, still and silent, eyes searching out Sena's desperately. The utterly lost look in his normally so confident features had Sena putting aside their own problems to hurry to his side and grip his slack hand.

"Do you accept their apology, Sei? Are you willing to listen now?" Sena prompted quietly, smiling and squeezing Shin's hand reassuringly.

"I- I…"

"If you'd like more time, we understand, Seijuuro. We're willing to give you that," Juuri promised, even though her voice was husky and pained.

"It's the least we can do," Seisuke concurred with a firm nod and his eyes looking up to Shin's.

Shin glanced back at Sena, and _thankfully_ , clutched at his hand tightly.

"I'll stay," he whispered hoarsely.

All three of them let out loud exhales of relief. "I'll go then," Sena told them.

"What?!" the Shins shouted as one.

"This is a family thing, and… I've heard it. This is for you guys to get through. And… I'll be home, waiting for the fallout of… this," he swept a hand between him and the Shin parents. Shin's face darkened in remembrance, but he didn't pull his hand away.

 _Good sign_ , Sena thought with a small amount of comfort.

"And about the argument the other day."

Sena nodded with a weary sigh. "If this takes long enough, I might actually apologize first."

Shin huffed before gradually, reluctantly, pulling his hand away. Sena and Shin shared a long silent look that ended in a tiny, contrite smile from Sena. Then, Sena made his way towards the door, already miserable at the thought of walking through that cold back to the subway station several kilometers away. This neighborhood was way too _spacious_.

"Sena," Juuri called out as her husband helped her back to her feet.

He paused at the doorway and looked back. She and Seisuke were smiling at him, eyes shiny and red-rimmed, but so overwhelming grateful it made Sena's knees weak.

"Nothing would make me happier than to see your fulfill your promise to me."

Sena blinked, perplexed. Slowly, scarlet crept up from the neckline of his shirt to his forehead, burning his ears to steaming hot. His eyes darted to Shin and back to his parents.

 _So please, please let me take care of your son for the rest of my life. I promise that I'll be enough, more than enough! I promise I'll make you proud to call me your son-in-law one day._

"I-I-It w-w-would b-be m-my p-pleasure, m-m-ma'am!" Sena squeaked, bowing several times before darting away fast enough to rock the door that was already barely hanging on by its screws and twisted hinges.

...

Sena spent the rest of the day pacing his apartment. However thankful he'd been not to run through the chill, Hoshino driving him home had cut into the time he would've had occupied with commuting, resulting in even _more_ time stuck at home and waiting. Riku and Monta watched a movie, craning around him as he passed each way and throwing popcorn at him if he paused too long in front of the screen.

"Dude, you totally deserve what's coming to you," Monta said obnoxiously around a mouthful of masticated snacks. Riku looked over at him in disgust.

"Swallow, you animal." He returned his attention to Sena with a much more sympathetic look on his face. "You said something he definitely needed to hear, but if he's pissed at you for the rest of the year, I wouldn't be surprised. Seijuuro is not the kinda guy who likes being cornered. _You_ don't even like it, Sena."

"Yeah, it was totes shitty," Monta agreed. He grinned with grossly food-covered teeth. The pillow to his face had him flailing and cursing.

"I thought you were supposed to be _my_ friends?" Sena questioned disbelievingly. He gnawed on his thumbnail when his eyes fell on the clock again. It was getting close to Shin's bedtime. At this rate, maybe Shin decided to make him stew all night?

No… that wasn't Shin's style. Where _was_ he?

"We are your friends! We're telling you how it is, man! Though, you were pretty cool. I haven't seen you that pissed since freshman little spring tournament. Max props, bro," Monta said with a wink and extravagant thumbs-up.

"You're being really blasé about the fact that my boyfriends of _two years_ might decide to _break up with me tonight!_ " Sena exclaimed, hands waving in the air before hissing and clutching at the hand whose thumbnail he'd just torn off jaggedly.

Monta and Riku looked at each other. Their cheeks puffed. Their faces reddened. Their shoulders began to shake. Until finally, they exploded. Guffaws burst through the apartment and they clutched their stomachs, tears actually leaking from their eyes.

"B-Brea- Break up with you?!" Monta shrieked, his legs _kicking_ in the air in his mirth. "I'm d-dying, I c-can't b-breathe."

Riku wasn't much better; he was sliding off the couch with the force of his laughter, wheezing for air. "S-Seij-juuro would p-probably watch you k-kill s-someone and j-just help hide the b-body, S-Sena. No way is he gonna break up with you for this. B-be pissed, hell yeah, but _break up with you_? You basically shit gold."

Sena scowled at both of them. "You don't- He wouldn't- _I do not_."

Fresh peals of laughter followed.

"W-Wanna b-bet on h-how f-fast they m-make up?" Monta asked through gasps.

"Th-that's a s-sucker's b-bet, asshole. They'll b-be kissing b-before they c-cuddle and p-pet e-each other's h-hair _t-tonight_ ," Riku retorted. Monta _screamed_ his laughter.

"You guys are the _worst_. This is really serious!"

"Oh, yeah, it _max is_. But no way are you guys not gonna make it. Especially not with the Shins on your side for reals now," Monta replied, still chortling and wiping at his eyes.

Riku nodded and dragged himself back onto the couch properly. "Face it, Sena. You guys are endgame. You're that sickeningly cute high school sweetheart story. You'll be old and gray and deaf and blind and still disgustingly into each other."

Monta pointed at Riku and nodded fervently. "Yeah! That's so true!"

Sena wavered where he stood. "R-Really?" he asked, a smile slowly breaking out over his face.

Riku's teasing smirk flattened slightly, eyes pinching at the corners, but his voice was light and mocking as he answered, "If I believe in any couple I know going the distance, it's you guys."

"Me, too. You guys are… are _solid_ , you know?" Monta chirped in eagerly. "You're that couple everyone wants to be. You still deserve some crap for being kinda a jerk, but so does Shin. So… duke it out like men and then manly cuddle all night. You'll be back to yourselves in no time."

Riku dropped his face in his hands with a pained groan. "Shut the fuck up, monkey. _Manly cuddle? Really?!_ "

Sena shook his head, but couldn't help but feel better. "I think you guys think too highly of us, but I appreciate it. Really."

A knock at the door had him shrieking quietly and the other two bursting into more laughter at his expense. They gathered up all their trash at Sena's hissed pleading and made their way to their room. With a deep, steadying breath, Sena went to the door and opened it. Shin stood on the doormat, of course. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy and staring off to the side instead of meeting Sena's head-on. His hands were shoved in his jacket pockets, his nose and cheeks were bright red from the cold, and his mouth was turned down into his uncomfortable frown.

"Hey, Seijuuro," Sena murmured softly. Shin grunted and stepped in when Sena moved back. Shoes were changed for slippers and the outdoor things were hung on the pegs by the door. "Do… Do you want some tea?" Sena offered, shuffling awkwardly and wringing out the bottom of his shirt.

Shin hesitated, then shook his head.

Sena led him towards his bedroom, carefully not looking at Monta and Riku's closed door. Their teasing- sincere and honest as it had been underneath the glee- had lightened his anxiety a little, but it still hovered around the edges. His therapist had been telling him for almost two years that anxiety doesn't get 'cured', it just gets 'managed', but sometimes he wished magic, take-one-cure-all pills really did exist. Especially in times like these where his inner monologue fucked with reality so bad he couldn't tell the difference.

They sat on the edge of his bed, hands on their knees and eyes downcast.

"I said I wouldn't apologize first, but… I should," Sena admitted softly after a too long silence. Shin twitched next to him, but didn't stop him. The runningback took a small breath. "I shouldn't have gone to your parents' today without telling you. I shouldn't have accused you of running away. And I shouldn't have made your choice without you. I definitely shouldn't have given you an ultimatum for not doing like I wanted you to. I still feel like…like I was right… to an extent. But I shouldn't have done it that way. I should have trusted you to come to the right conclusion on your own."

"I wouldn't have."

Sena looked over at him in shock. Shin's hands tightened into fists, curling into the fabric of his pants.

"I already had a letter to the dean written to drop out of OU."

"Oh my god, Seijuuro! You didn't!" Sena gasped in horror.

Shin glanced away. "I was so bent on proving my mother wrong, so furious that her disapproval and dishonesty had caused you pain that day as well… I thought the only way I could do both would be to cut myself off entirely and try on my own."

"Seijuuro, that's-" Sena broke off, speechless and shaking his head.

"Stupid. You were right. I was being stubborn and proud. I made you… how did you put it? My soapbox?"

Sena blushed and ducked his head. "I couldn't think of the real phrase."

"You were right. I'm sorry I put you in that position. That didn't mitigate the problem for you, I made it worse. I put you in the middle and then didn't consider your feelings."

Sena shrugged. "I'm pretty sure I did worse. I basically called you a coward."

"I _was_. These past two years I let you think everything was fine, I refused to stand up to my mother, all because I didn't want to say out loud one of my worst fears," Shin scrubbed a hand over his face as his voice broke. Sena reached over and lay his hand over Shin's.

"You were scared you let your mother down, Seijuuro. That's hard to face. I think you tried your best, but I'm so, _so_ glad you both finally talked it out. That you finally told her how you feel and she told you," Sena said earnestly and quietly. "She did tell you, right?"

Shin, at last, met Sena's eyes. There was no lingering anger there and the burden on Sena's heart lifted away completely. Something incredulous and shocked flitted over Shin's face as he thought back on his conversation with his parents.

"She felt the same thing, this whole time. That she let my father down, my family name down, even me by not being a good enough mother. How could she ever think she was a bad mother, Sena? She's the strongest person I've ever met. Other than you, maybe," here a small smile curved up the side of his mouth.

Sena smiled wide enough for three people, though. Shin's hand shifting under his to entwine their fingers only had him smiling bigger.

"I forgive you for being stupid and almost dropping out of school. Thank you… for defending my honor, I guess?" Sena chuckled sheepishly.

"Thank you for helping me face my parents. I forgive you for calling me a coward. And for using an ultimatum. I would appreciate it if you never threaten to break up with me again. It was not a pleasant experience," Shin tacked on dryly.

Sena burst into laughter and curled against Shin's side, their entwined hands between them resting on Shin's leg.

"I kinda sorta made a promise to your mom for the _exact opposite_ , so I think we're good."

"You did what?"

Sena reached over to grab the collar of Shin's hoodie and drag him down. "I owe you a make-up make-out session. Unless you wanna skip straight to manly cuddling?" Sena joked with a grin.

Shin stared at him in confusion. "Is that a euphemism for sex I don't know about?"

Sena laughed until he was sick to his stomach before he calmed down enough to get even a single kiss in.

They made up for it by staying up too late and welcoming in Valentine's Day kissing each other to sleep. And yes, manly cuddling, thanks, Monta. Sena remembered that just a week ago, he thought sleeping with someone every night was still a little weird. But falling asleep next to Shin after several long nights without him, the threat of a break up hanging over his head like a guillotine... _that_ cured any lingering oddity sleeping together had for him. Sena fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning clutching Shin too tight with his face buried against the wide breadth of his back while Shin's hand absently stroked his arms.

 _Please, please, let me take care of your son for the rest of my life._

 _Face it, Sena. You guys are endgame._

That... that wasn't scary or strange at all...

(The day spent with feverishly energetic kids in the snow while sleep-deprived and emotionally-wrought was... interesting to say the least. They _both_ fell asleep during the movie that evening.)

* * *

 _ **A/N:** Nine more chapters left! (Though Desires on AO3 may stay open indefinitely, lol)_

 _Also, the foreign film mentioned in the chapter is based on nothing. So... I was thinking of a very old Macau film I saw in a "World Film Festival" in South Korea, but it was, like... in 2012? There were almost no faces on screen, and the main character was the POV of the film (like from behind the lens, so we like never see him, only hear him), and it ended in... the world ending? And everyone in Macau turning into cats? It was fucking weird guys. I loved it. But since this isn't based in 2012... I have no idea what movie Sena's talking about. LOL_

 _Sakuraba lives about... 3 miles from the Shin residence (in the same neighborhood, but not so classy or big a mansion as the Shins, lol). So... yeah, Shin ran 3 miles in about 12 minutes..._


End file.
